LipstickLady

Just thought I would cross reference this thread to the last biggie for full disclosure. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/304874-do-u-ever-wonder-how-people-here-eat-such-a-perfect-diet-all-the-time/page-7#entry3681935 I hope that stoopid 20 is coming off quickly for you!

Since this thread popped back up to the top, I thought I would reference a thread the OP wrote about 6 months after this one. Just to get the full picture. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/321966-for-those-of-u-who-have-criticized-my-way-of-doing-the-sleeve/

Do you feel better? "I feel great! How do you feel?"

You don't need to "be prepared up with a story", you just need to be confident in your answers and firm in your efforts to shut people down. "I'm working with my doctor and eating smaller, healthier portions and exercising." Period. What are you eating? "Well, my doctor and nutritionist have come up with a plan that works specifically for me." Period. Are you allowed to eat...? "Just like you, I can eat whatever I want, I simply choose not to." Period. How much have you lost? "A lot." Well, how much? "A lot." So how many pounds? "A lot." What size do you wear now? "That's a weird question." Did you have surgery? "Why in the world would you ask such a personal question?" or "I didn't realize you were interested in WLS. I suggest you contact a doctor." or "That's a weird question." How much more do you want to lose? "I'll know when I get there." Are you still trying to lose weight? "I am working on being the healthiest I can be." So HOW MUCH have you lost? "A LOT." Wow! You've lost a TON of weight. "Thank you." WOW! You are shrinking to nothing. "Thank you." WOW! You've lost a whole person. "Thank you." You are going to blow away soon. "Thank you." Wow. You can't lose much more, can you? "Thank you." It's really quite easy. Now give me a hard question.

I've told very few people because it's no one's business but mine. When people ask how I've lost weight, I tell them I am eating smaller healthier portions under the guidance of my doctor and I am moving my body a lot more than I was before. What you choose to tell people is completely up to you. You don't owe ANYONE any information on your medical history or weight loss efforts. If you feel someone is crossing a line with you, you have every right to politely say so. Your body, your choice. I totally support those who want to tell the world about their surgery as well as those who don't. This is a HUGE topic for debate on these boards and I truly hope those who think we should all be an open book don't come into this thread with the usual name calling and judgmental BS that typically happens.

I don't think I ate anything particularly horrific, I just ate gobs of food. I guess my worst food concoction was homemade pizza. I bought dough, topped it with far too much olive oil, cheese, bacon, ham, feta, more cheese, olives... And of course the requisite buffalo wings and blue cheese.

Not a liar and I felt no pain. I walked for hours, just about through the night, as soon as I was wheeled to my room. I went home the next day, didn't take any pain meds and went shopping two days after surgery. I'm sorry you are uncomfortable and I hope it clears up soon! But no, not a liar.

I am 18 months out and this is my second thanksgiving since surgery. Many of the people I ate with (inlaws) know nothing of my surgery and just like last year, they noticed nothing about my eating. I intentionally avoided the Protein (gasp!!) so I could eat a bit more of the sides. I had a few small bites of stuffing, corn pudding, green bean casserole, mashed taters, half a deviled egg, half a roll, and no dessert. I rarely consume so many carbs so this was a treat and I don't regret a single bite. I've had some leftovers today, and I don't regret them either. By tomorrow they'll be gone, I may be up a bit, but no big deal. I'll go back to normal by Monday and anything I've gained will be lost again. I still consumed less than a cup or so overall, but it was food I rarely eat and won't have again until Christmas and then not again till next November. I love my sleeve.

I don't know if I agree with the theory above as my stomach stopped making noise at about my 6-8 month mark. Before that, though... My kids would eat in absolute silence so they could listen to the noises my tummy made when I ate.

I used to love the feeling of being full. Now I absolutely hate it.

I can assure you that many of us relate to your plight. Like you, food has been a focal point to my life. I was raised in a family where food meant love but also where food was "bad" and "forbidden". Because of that, I splurged when I could and I closet ate when I couldn't. Many post-opers trade one bad food relationship for another and I can't/won't make assumptions on you based only what you've written here, but it kind of sounds like this is what you are doing. I would urge you to seek counseling or advice from your NUT. You need to learn to trust yourself to make great choices, but ones you enjoy, and your pouch to keep you on track with quantity. I'm not saying you should go out and start cooking elaborate meals, but I can't imagine a life subsisting on pouch flaked meat and veggies. It's OK to enjoy your meals as long you are strong enough to do the right thing for your body.

My big question in all this? I'm a sleever. If I put down the band to someone who has already had it or is about to, how is that going to benefit ME? Even if their band magically *poofed* into a sleeve, how would I gain? In turn, if a bypasser or a bander told me horrific things about my sleeve, what is that going to do for me other than cause me worry or concern? Does being "right" equate to greater happiness when in reality, what you are working so hard to be "right" at has nothing to do with you or your journey? Does a certain level of smugness mean that you are going to be more successful because you "showed them"? Why doesn't kindness and acceptance of another's decision mean more than the weight of your opinion?

The good news is that you are in charge of YOU. You chose to make a HUGE step towards your great health and wellness and you will succeed if you plan your work and work your plan. The bad news is that the world around you is not obligated to change because you are. The diet ads, the fast food commercials, the cooking shows... None of this is going to stop because it would make your journey easier. Just as your family and friends aren't going to suddenly stop eating Cookies and cakes, just like Thanksgiving day stuffing and mashed potatoes aren't going to disappear and just like Panera is not going to stop making those delicious Asiago bagels (D@MN THEM!!!), your decision to eat healthier and live a better quality life is no one's obligation but yours. You can do this. Don't resent the world for doing it's thing, that will only make it harder.

I chose the sleeve over bypass because I wanted my life to be as close to "normal" as possible. While the chance of dumping is still there, it's decreased vs. bypass. I wanted to be able to have a piece of b-day cake or ice cream occasionally without getting sick. As luck would have it, I can't eat ice cream -- I dump. HA! I've also noticed if I eat candy/cookies/brownies one day, the next morning I will have the poops and it's not pretty. So... I am horrible at taking pills. HORRIBLE. With bypass, supplements are a must. With sleeve they are a must, too, but my surgeon said as long as I keep my blood work looking good, he's OK with my propensity to "forget". Aside from Vitamin D, my levels are awesome and even my D is better now than it was pre-op. It's my OPINION that the bypass is easier to "eat around" than the sleeve. I may be totally incorrect, I am an expert on no one but myself, but with my sleeve, once I'm full, I'm full. Sleeves don't stretch, pouches can according to my doctor. Most importantly, I didn't have any co-morbidities that would make bypass a better option. My doctor was on the same page as me when I told him I was more interested in the sleeve. He said he would have felt differently if I was diabetic or had other health issues. Good luck with your decision. Trust your gut and the people you are paying to help you along with this decision!

Seriously. It makes me absolutely crazy when someone speaks for me (and everyone else). No, **EVERYONE** doesn't cheat. No, **WE ALL** don't have the same fears. No, it's not true that **NOBODY** follows their NUT's diet plan. No, not **EVERYONE** has felt that way or understands or has gone through the same thing. No, **WE** aren't all praying for you. (I know I'll be blasted for this one, but we don't all pray!) I could go on and on... ARGH!! I love that people are trying to be supportive and encouraging and helpful but speaking for everyone else is so patronizing no matter how true one might think it is or might want it to be. I hate it in emails, on facebook, on forums, in speeches, in real life, on the interwebz...I hate it, hate it, hate it!! I always (snicker) think twice before using all, none, everyone, no one, never, always, we. Really, how accurate can those words be? I think this one gets me even more than the yours/theirs/toos. Sigh. Phew. I just had to get that off my chest. Let the beatings begin.

Just do it and don't question it. You will be SO glad you did. It's worth it.

Fgvhbn.

I have no idea what I'm talking about. I got my medical terms confuzzled.

Yeeeesh!

You are supposed to be on clear liquids? As soon as you can find a clear cream soup, go for it!

Bread, rice, pasta, fries, ice cream...blech.

How sad that this always turns into an us vs. them... I wish everyone the success they are working towards.

I read all your posts here and I must say, I'm positively floored. From your history, it does sound like you did this on an absolute whim, with little to no research, and that both saddens and angers me at the same time. You said in another post that you made the phone call to the surgeon on 10/20 and had the procedure on 11/4. Because you were self pay, you didn't have a psych evaluation and no preop nutritional counseling. You also stated you have no history of weight struggles having just gained this excess weight over the last ten months, making this decision purely out of vanity. Very impulsive of you, but EXTREMELY irresponsible on the part of your surgeon. What I want to say? Suck it up, Buttercup. You chose to "jump on the surgery bandwagon" (how utterly offensive), you are going to have to live with it. I am shocked that any reputable surgeon would perform such invasive surgery on someone who was clueless to the repercussions. I am also completely appalled that you went into this so blindly. It seems as if you thought this was the easy way out and that you could just lay around and lose the weight and are now pissed that it doesn't work that way. But I won't say that... What I WILL say. You are hangry right now. Your hormones are wonky and your body is healing from major surgery. You are emotional and that's normal. I suggest you go ahead and do all the research you should have done preop. You can't undo the surgery so you might as well make the best of it. If you follow a good nutritional plan, you will lose the pounds and get back to a healthy weight. Eventually you will be able to eat anything you want, just not as much of it. And who knows! You may be one of the "lucky" ones who regains a larger capacity. I sincerely hope that this surgery gives you the results you want. I also hope you consider talking to a counselor about why you would make such a major decision -- a permanent decision -- so impulsively. I'm sure your diagnosis of a seizure disorder has thrown you for a loop mentally and that's adding to your stress. I wish you well.

So as some of you **MAY** know, I've chosen the path of telling a few people about my WLS but not everyone. (No, this is NOT another thread about that lovely topic, just setting the scene.) One of my new "quirks" is how bizarre I'm sure I appear to both people who know and do not know about my surgery with my propensity to ALWAYS ask for a to go box. I don't think people necessarily notice how little I eat at a sitting, but they do seem to notice how little the serving I am taking home is. Yes (dammit!), it's only three or four bites. Yes, it's only one chicken strip. Yes, it's only two pieces of sushi and a few edamame pods but YES!! I want a box. That's an entire meal for me. At home, I go through so many more sandwich bags than I used to. I put the last three bites of a wrap in the fridge, the last two shrimp, the last couple of tablespoons of refried Beans, NOTHING goes to waste. My husband no longer scrapes a bowl of anything into the trash unless it's a starch because he has finally learned. These are my favorite Walmart purchase now: http://www.walmart.com/ip/Diamond-Multi-Purpose-Mini-Cups-With-Lids-2-oz-50ct/17056809 My other weird quirk? Asking my kids if I'm THAT lady's size. How about her? Her? HER! Look at her butt, is mine bigger? Smaller? Look at hers and look at mine. How about if I go stand next to her so you can compare better? My husband likes the game, my kids barely humor me. HA!