LipstickLady

So you're telling me that saying "You used to be SO FAT but now you aren't!" isn't nice? Hmmm...

Oh, girl. Usually, they are right.

Love this one. I usually answer with, "Well, actually TWO tons, I hid my weight ell, don't you think?" or, "Well, actually only a HALF ton, I must have looked much larger than I was to you." Ha!

I help run a martial arts school and we have a large afterschool program. I am the friendly, outgoing one who chats up all the parents, smooths over any issues and generally makes sure everyone is happy. There was one parent who has always been rather standoffish. When someone acts cold or distant, I chalk it up to them being shy or introverted and I rarely take it personally. Over the 6 months or so, she has really started to come around, chatting with me while her kids get their shoes on, smiling a lot more, just being much friendly in general. I figured she was one of the rare people that is very slow to warm up -- no big deal. Until Friday. Friday she looked at me and said, "You know. I find it much easier to take you seriously now that you are not so big." She held her arms out and rounded as if to mime a big, fat person (which, to her defense, I was). I looked at her, smiled, and before I could stop myself, I said, "You know what? I found it much easier to take YOU seriously when I *WAS* big.", and I held out my arms to mimic hers. Silly bitch.

I was "outpatient". I went in at 7am on Wednesday but released at 3pm the next day. That was considered outpatient. I can't fathom why, but...

Funny thing? She's not particularly thin. She's not fat, she's kind of, uhmmm....thick. I'm thinner than she is.

Just some background on me. I am 19 months post op, hit my doctor's goal and my personal goal about 9 months ago but am still working (kind of -- when the mood strikes) on my stretch goal. I am still "overweight" per BMI standards but I wear a size 8 in ladies sizes, size 10 in junior's. I have an hourglass figure with bigger (longer, ha!) boobs and a bum. I am quite athletic and have a lot of muscle and little body fat so I don't worry about BMI at all. I have a five pound bounce range, usually between 152 and 157 and I am thrilled. If I never lose another pound, this surgery has done more for me than I ever imagined. I started at 264 and as of today I am a period bloated 156. I gained four pounds over the holidays (Thanksgiving to New Years), less than I ever have but I know at least two of it is my menstrual cycle that started yesterday. My bougie was a 36fr but really, bougie sizes have so little difference, it really doesn't matter. Eaten below 300 calories for a year? OH GAWD NO! I has Sleeve surgery so I could lead a normal life, eating anything I wanted, only in much smaller portions. I have a very tight sleeve. I can rarely eat more than 1/4 - 1/2 cup so I "graze" all day. I eat 4-6 bites, am full and eat 4-6 more a few hours later. That's on a "feeding day". I wake up some mornings barely able to eat 1/4 cup at a time and there seems to be no pattern to it. As soon as I was able, I made sure to get my calories to 1200/day. That took about 8 month, I think. I am now easily eating 1600 on my feeding days and probably 900 on my non feeding days. My fear of eating so few calories was the maintenance after the fact. I wanted to make sure that I could maintain at a "normal" person's diet, even if that meant slower loss. I am thrilled. I can have a really shi!!ty day and eat a bunch of junk and not gain a pound. I don't do it often and my perception of a bunch of junk is probably a healthy person's small splurge, but I can't imagine realistically living on such a limit. I didn't have this surgery to punish myself or give myself more of a eating disorder than I think I already had. I wanted to eat like a skinny person with smaller portions, eating until satisfied, not full, healthier choices and occasional treats. I did not want to live the rest of my life on a strict diet. I do believe trying to struggle through a year on 300 calories would have done exactly that. My doctor would have NEVER allowed it. I don't think a liquid diet would "kill you" as suggested above, but I do think you would feel like crap, have no energy, be unable to exercise, have a hard time cognitively and would lose all muscle mass along with fat.

Why must it always be someone's "fault"? For the life of me, I can't figure that one out.

You are going to be patient. You say "Let's take a shower", she hears, "Let's have sex!!". You say, "I want to cuddle", she hears, "Let's have SEX!!!". You say, "You look hot!", she hears, "Let's have SEX!!!!!!!!". She is going through a lot of changes and her hormones are out of control. If she is like many women going through this, she has been on her period a lot since having surgery. Did you know that estrogen is stored in fat cells? As she loses weight, that estrogen is released and she is a walking surge. It sucks. If you love her, you will wait it out. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.

Absolutely doable. I think you can do it faster than you are anticipating, too. I kind of think you are aiming a bit low for your height. My husband is slender and is 185 at 5.10. If you've not been a healthy weight for a long time, it's hard to pick a number until you get there. Go for it! Just don't make that number be your end all. You may find you love yourself at 200 or 190!

You ARE Wonder Woman!!

My husband and I eloped. We got knowing looks for about nine months as no one believed us when we said I wasn't preggers. Let them think it! Who cares? It can only go on for 9 months anyways.

Yup! Happened to me, too.

Coke Zero drinker, here. I gave it up cold turkey for 3 months pre op and 6 months post op. Now I have one glass or so a day, over ice. (I use a straw, too! Shhhhh...) If your doc allows it, I don't see a problem. Mine didn't so I didn't drink it until it was ok'd. To me, there is not much difference between a coke zero and a cup of coffee with Splenda except the temperature and the fizz. Fizz won't stretch your sleeve, but it can be very uncomfortable, hence the reason for drinking it poured over crushed ice. It loses much of it's fizz that way. Follow your doctor's plan.

@@supportive hubby How are things?

I have found great success in ordering appetizers as my meal at many restaurants. I love the lesser expensive option along with the mainly Protein choices. A few years ago we started doing what we call "bar food" for Christmas sides and for New Year's. Baked Brie, stuffed figs, chicken lollipops, spiced shrimp... This year my favorite dish was an old family favorite, sausage balls. It's just a pound of ground sausage (I like the spicy), 2 cups of cheddar and 2 cups of bisquick. I subbed almond flour for the bisquick and my family was none the wiser. Mix the ingredients, roll into small meatball sized balls and bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes (parchment paper is a must). Delish. I can only eat 2-3 as a meal and they freeze wonderfully. I am making double batches, baking and freezing. They reheat perfectly in the microwave. I can see them becoming a staple in my house. What foods did you find that you usually make for the holidays that will carry you through the year?

I'm curious. What is it about leftovers you don't like? How in the world (and I don't mean this in a judgmental way at ALL) do you cook 1/4-1/2 at a time so as not to waste mounds of food?

Hugs to you. I hope you find what you need.

Lumpia? I googled it. Baked or fried? They sound yum.

I love deviled eggs! Have you tried them with horseradish? Yum!

It won't if YOU don't let it. She is most likely going to be quite bitchy, as evidenced by her comments, but that will fade. She will get used to the idea that you had the surgery and she didn't and she will get past the jealousy of your new body during her struggles. Love her, encourage her, and go about business as usual to the best of your ability. If she gets too much to bear, then it's time to cut her loose. I think you can save it if you work hard not to be offended by her.

But hey! At least she's not cheating her way to a healthy weight. .

Oh....in about 6-9 months, this is gonna be SOOO worth it. I can't wait for the update.

Don't stock up on shakes, Protein powder, Soup, etc. right before surgery as your taste buds may change after. I also threw away a lot if food because my pre op eyes were much bigger than my post op tummy. You'll be fine to leave your house and shop a day or two after you get home. Until then, Gatorade, Popsicles, chicken broth, will do you.

Yup, I know that "problem" well. I, too, had WLS. This "hardship" has netted me a 112lb weight loss, much better health, and complete control over my appetite where my appetite once controlled me. I have days I want to eat and days I don't. It took almost a year to have what I call feeding days, but never did I stress about all the time I didn't. I still don't. I have skinny friends who I always used to be fascinated by when we went out to dinner and they weren't hungry, or if they were, they were satisfied after 9-10 bites. And when they would say it was their first meal of the day because they "forgot" to eat? What the what!? I couldn't even imagine such nonsense. Now I'm that girl. Not on purpose, not to prove anything, not even to lose weight as I am at goal. Isn't this why we had surgery?