LipstickLady

Gurrrrrllllll....we tight!

Silly you, @@proudgrammy Of course I'm always right. Yeeeeesh!

Oh goodness. Vitamins? We are supposed to take those? Well, hell!

Oh no! Anyone can say anything they want. I just don't care.

Obvious. Ya'd think, wouldn't you? Snort!

Thank you for making me think about this. I've not read all the replies but I will. So, here's my thought on the OP. Even if I gain every pound back. Even if, in ten year's time I am twice as big as when I started, I have had the best freaking year of my life. SKINNY. I've done mud runs with my kids. I've earned my black belt. I've bought clothes and shoes and HIGH boots. I've Zumba'd without flopping, I've done 5ks without dying, I've shopped recklessly. I've danced, I've flirted, I've been flirted with. I've been called a MILF, a hottie, I've gotten whistles and cat calls. I feel GREAT about me for the first time in a long time. Even if it all goes away, i will relish the times I've had and the times I will continue to have while I am thin.

I won't admit that in my WWs days, I measured my wedding ring, watch, earrings and outfit on my food scale so I could justify any weight gain or very small loss at registration.

So...which part don't you agree with?

I would definitely check about a UTI. If you only pee a few drops when you do go, it's highly likely a UTI. Real cranberry juice (you can Water it down) is effective to clean out the pipes if the infection isn't too far along.

Want me to paddle you? Cuz I will. I won't even charge you much.

I don't think you need to see your doctor to figure out what the problem is. As for the rude commentary? You answer should be a simple "Thanks for your concern!" and change the subject. If they continue to chatter about it, "I'm dreadfully bored talking about my weight, let's talk about YOURS!" with a smile.

Oh! And if you are indeed a therapist, you should know plenty of people in your own network you can talk to. I think you know you need to.

Phew! My two cents for what it's worth. First, at the risk of seeming redundant. Girl....paragraphs. There is a little edit button at the bottom of your post. Go back and add some, please. I am sure readers are going cross eyed and missing much of your message -- I know I did. I am NOT a therapist. My "qualifications" are this: I was sleeved 20 months ago, I've experienced the journey, I've been happily married for 20 years (in March), with my husband for 23. I know how it feels to gain/lose and I have seen negativity from spouses regarding this decision (my bestie, not me personally). He didn't have to ask you permission to have surgery. He didn't need your approval. I didn't ask my husband his opinion on the surgery, I told him what I was doing and I opened the floor for him to voice his concerns and ask questions. His concerns had ZERO influence on me, but as he is the insurance holder and my life partner, I figured it would be wise to at least ease any fears and give him some time to think about what I was choosing to do. Fortunately (for him) he was (reservedly) supportive. If he hadn't been, he would have been sorely disappointed because I was having the surgery no matter what. FOR ME. It's MY opinion (and you know what they say about those), that your insecurity about your own weight struggles are an underlying theme here. He's losing weight despite what you think are bad food choices and habits while you fight for each pound. You are on your own weight loss journey and you want support from him that he's not giving you. You know, the same support you really aren't giving him. Bottom line? It's not about you, cupcake. Your journey belongs to you and his journey belongs to him. You said (something to the effect of) he is influencing your food choices and exercise habits pre and post op? WHY?? I am a grown woman and I assume you are as well. NO ONE puts food in my mouth or tells me when or how I am going to exercise but me. Don't blame your choices on him, that's an excuse. In turn, what he is putting in his mouth, and how often, has nothing to do with you. I don't care if he asks you for your input, I don't care how many books you've read, it's NOT your business. You stated that his doctor's words aren't gold and that he is putting his doctor's opinions over yours? At the risk of sounding harsh, his doctor's words are MUCH more golden than yours and he should put those opinions first. That's why he (you?) shelled out the big bucks. His goal weight is ALSO none of your business. You say you have his health in mind, but it sounds to me like you care more about his appearance and what you are attracted to. I won't believe for a minute that his doctor is trying to get him to a weight that is unhealthy. You say your man would be FINE at 250 pounds? For that weight to be healthy, he would have to be 7 feet tall. You say he is big boned and has a football build? Even at 6'4" he would still be obese at that weight. That's not healthy unless he is Arnold Schwarzenegger at his prime. His surgical team should have him in regularly for blood work and nutrition follow up. Worry about those numbers more than the number on the scale. (For the record, I do NOT live and die by a BMI scale. I am at my personal goal and still in the overweight category by 7 or 8 pounds, but I am muscular and have very low body fat. I also have about 5-7 pounds of skin that's wiggly and could be removed but I don't care enough to do anything about it. I am NOT, however, OBESE.) As for the financial. You are making the (unwise!?!?) choice to support him. You aren't married. That's a whole notha' topic, not one that is any of MY business. It's also one I can tell you that I wouldn't give you any positive feedback if you were my friend or sister.

Doesn't bother me a bit. I'm the smug skinny chick that will never daydream about those things working for me ever again.

Why does he need to? This is about YOU, not him.

It was a Rugged Maniac. So much fun! That was the worst obstacle. It was a long azzz tunnel that we had to belly crawl through and I am claustrophobic. The guy in front of me got stuck and we were in there forever. I wanted to DIE.

Why bother? You aren't doing this for him, you are doing this for you. You aren't married so really, you owe him nothing. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Hell, I've been married for 20 years HAPPILY and never once did I give more than a passing rip about my husband's concerns. It's my opinion (and you know what they say about those) that you (general, not YOU) will not fail unless you give up. Well, I figured I was either going to die of an eventual heart attack or diabetes if I didn't lose the weight (no co-morbidities when I had surgery) or I was going to FIGHT my weight WITH surgery. Not having it *****FOR ME****** was giving up. I spent too many years yo yo dieting which is horrible on your heart. I spent too much money on WWs and diet books and pills and exercise equipment. I spent too much time hating myself for getting so DAMN fat. I hated clothes, I hated shopping, I hated running into people I knew way back when. Life is too short to be the way I was when there was a solution I knew I could win with. That's just me, though.

Just coming up for a quick snack!

Eating "clean" is a common phrase, it's certainly not an insult or dig.

<head scratcher> I must have missed something.

Twenty months out, at goal for the last eight or so, no expert on anyone but me. I saw my NUT twice because it was required by insurance. She was nice, but she was a twit who tried to sell me her MLM Vitamins. I did my time and then I noped it right outta there. My NP gave me a list of yes foods and no foods and told me to go from there. I adjusted that list by what made me feel good and what did not. Every visit (monthly) for the first 6 months, we discussed my food diary and what I liked/didn't and what she liked/didn't. I adjusted, she adjusted. I won't do fat free and rarely do SF except pudding cuz I love it. I eat real mayo, butter, sour cream but I like light dressing and yogurt. Not a dietary choice but because I LIKE it. I eat meat first, veggies second, complex carbs last. I can rarely manage the complex carbs. It's not "on purpose", it's because I don't have room and I feel lethargic after carbs. When I want something sweet, I eat it. A few kisses, a cookie, a brownie. Probably half a serving size. If I don't eat what I want, I will think about it until I do, so I may as well. Before, I would just eat my way through a lot of sh/t until I gave in but I don't have space now. Per my NP, I don't drink enough Water and she hates my Coke Zero, but she goes with it but only because she loves my Protein and my low carbs. She loves that I treat myself daily but in a controlled manner. My CZ is my only vice and she is willing to accept it. We are a team. Period.

I live in southern VA, love to be in the sun, and I'm still extremely D deficient. My doctor put me on some regiment rigmarole that helps your body absorb the vitD pills more efficiently. I had surgery despite my pretty major issue and small doing great 20 months out. Still deficient, but much much better than before.

I'm happy to meet in Richmond.

Google how to make your own it works wraps at home. Just sayin!