LipstickLady

That's the package your employer chose.

Fat shaming? I realize I might be one of the only ones, but that's truly a phrase I despise. I have had random people make rude remarks about my size when I was at my biggest, but it was rare. I didn't consider it "fat shaming" any more than I call bullying every time someone says something to me I dislike. Like I said, it's just me, but that phrase is like nails on a chalkboard to me. That said, insurance companies don't choose to cover or not cover WLS, your EMPLOYER does. It's truly a bum rap that insurance companies take when people take their ire out on them because they can't get the medical procedures they want. ***IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT*** No, I do NOT work in the insurance industry, nor does anyone in my family. I don't have stock or any other investment in insurance and I don't benefit in any way for sticking up for them. It's simply not true. BCBS VA covered mine 100%. BCBS VA denied my bestie because her company chose a different package. Our old insurance Aetna would only cover 75% five years ago. When our renewal came up, they covered 90%. For some people they cover 100%, for county and state employees in my area they do not cover it at all. Companies pick insurance packages based on the cost to them. If they choose not to cover WLS, that's on them. Your insurance company will cover anything the package covers. No fat shaming involved.

I'd much more recommend soliciting/listening to medical advice given on the internet.

You're fighting back the tears? WOW!!

I understand how some people might think it's the "easy" way, especially if you've not gone through the preop and post op diets, and you've not experienced the issues that go along with effects of the surgery. I am **NOT** asking about EASY. I know it's not. I'm curious about those who think it's the WRONG way or a BAD way to lose weight. Why? I'm truly curious about that side of the argument. I'm sure I'm asking in the wrong forum as this is a WLS support board but your thoughts? What you've heard? Serious replies requested.

I have to disagree with all these lovely folk talking about explaining WLS to him, challenging his knowledge, educating him on your journey, etc. WHO CARES? HE'S NOT WORTH IT. F 'EM IF THEY ARE SO CLOSE MINDED THAT THEY MAKE JUDGMENTAL STATEMENTS ABOUT ***YOUR*** HEALTH DECISIONS. I'm still going with a friendly smile, a thank you for your (dumbass) opinion, a possible swift kick in the junk (joking!!) and walking away with the knowledge that you will be healthy and fit this time next year. And you STILL won't be the dumbass he is.

My answer to something like this? "Cool!" and walk away. or if you really want to poke 'em... "You know, as I consulted my doctor, my therapist, my NP, the surgeon, my nutritionist, something was nagging at me and I finally figured out what it was... YOUR opinion. That's exactly what I was waiting for. So thank you." Or kick 'em in the junk. Your choice.

Honestly? It sounds like reflux. The sensation of reflux mimics hunger. Are you taking your PPI?

This sounds reeeeeeeally familiar.

I've not told everyone and I don't lie. This is not the easy way, trust me.

Again, no judgement. I just know when I've hit the top of my 5 pound bounce range, I give up all chocolate/desserts, any breads, rice or pasta, and I don't consider myself "deprived". I am simply FINALLY in control of what I eat, it's no longer in control of me.

Why tempt yourself with chocolate? Wasn't the chocolate in your bedside table part of your downfall? Why not low carb? That's what this new lifeplan is prescribed to be by most doctors. Carbs aren't the devil, but they are certainly a key component in hunger, cravings, weight gain and weight loss. Why not go back to square one and start following your doctor's orders to the T instead of making up your own plan? No judgement, just wondering.

So here's my question. How the heck is this world so over-populated? I've seen some pretty unattractive pregnant people. I've seen plenty of fatties pregnant. Women with crooked teeth (missing teeth!!), saggy boobs, bad haircuts, birth marks, missing limbs, missing boobs... Hell's bells! I've even seen women with (gasp) more than one child! I know for a fact that my first child wrecked my body. Stretch marks on my hips, thighs, my boobs got longer, my geenie got looser, the baby fat never went away, my skin got greasier as did my hair, I was a hot mess. I got knocked up. BY A MAN. How the hell did THAT happen if men won't stick it to anyone who isn't perfect? I even know many women with multiple "baby daddies". Seems to me more than one man out there will have sexy time with women who are less than perfect. But I could be wrong.

@@lindawollock joined this site at 11:31 yesterday. Somehow, in 6 minutes, "she" found this thread, made THREE outrageous posts about how men won't stick it to a woman who hasn't been photo-shopped into physical perfection and posted no where else. I am not one to call troll often, but damn...

OH MY GAWD!!!!! What kind of men do you have in your life!?!?!? Girl, you need to move. You need to run far far away from where you are. I have never heard something so crazy in my life. I can assure you that you weren't perfect when he married you, you won't be perfect in your old age even if you had never been fat or had surgery and he's not perfect either. Supermodels aren't perfect, porn stars aren't perfect, actresses aren't perfect. You don't know anyone who has been married into their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond? Cuz let me tell you, wrinkles happen, fat happens, blemishes happen. If he's not having sex with you because of something so HUMAN, then he's got some mental issues that he needs serious help with. Hell, my husband would have sex with me if I was a greasy, gassy, lumpy, frumpy, hot mess if I gave him the nod. Happened last night, in fact. No, really, Are we being trolled!?!??!!

Wait, what? The sweeping generalizations about men in this thread have made me a bit pissy so I've kept my mouth shut so as not to say something ugly. This one, however takes the cake. Men don't like scars. Really? And once you have one, your life as a sexual woman is over? Huh. Must have missed that one in the rulebook. So have most of my friend's husbands as did mine. I won't say that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, but it's close. I am sad for you. Find yourself a counselor that will help you find some self worth. There is no mark on your body that should take away your soul.

Mmmmmm.... I disagree. My husband is attracted to me because he loves ME -- my personality, my spirit, my attitude, who I am. His initial attraction was physical but he fell in love with who I am on the inside, not what I look like on the outside. I am NOT saying the OP's husband does not love her, I am simply saying that in a strong relationship, attraction doesn't just "go away" because of something superficial. If it does go away for "something on the surface", I'd bet money there's a lot more going on than something superficial.

Thanks! I was at my heaviest (obviously) in the left picture at a size 20W. That was about a month before I started my pre-op. The middle picture was my 6 month photo at a size 12 and the picture on the right was a size 8 at my one year mark. My body loves the 152-157 range and I barely have to think about it to maintain. I could probably lose 10 - 15 more but I am happy.

I guess I am the goal weight fatty here! I am 5' 2 1/2" and weight about 152. I am a size 8 and happy.

Good news, it only sucked for about an hour. Totally worth it.

I wish someone had warned me how horrific the leak test would be. The liquid made me so nauseated I threw it up the first time in the machine and had to redo it. The doctor was NOT pleased at all.

So.... You had surgery less than a month ago and you are already eating popcorn (with hulls) and cheetos? Full bags, too! You aren't exercising either? You're upset with the surgeon. Really? And you think he's the problem with your slower rate of weight loss because of how much stomach you think he cut out. Interesting. I honestly don't think there is anything that anyone here can tell you until you decide to really think about your own behaviors and how they are affecting your weight loss journey. It's glaringly apparent to me what's going on here and I daresay I can guess how much you are (or are not) going to lose unless you take some accountability for yourself. That's just me, though.

You can lose as much as you want to lose.

For the record, my incision scars are almost unable to be seen and the drain was removed before I left the hospital. Tell your husband to thank his lucky stars he didn't marry me. My husband witnessed me poop on the birthing table every time I pushed while I was in labor with my first. He also got to see my brain drain that was taped to my face for four days after brain surgery. I still have a headband scar from ear to ear from that fiasco. Oh! And after that surgery, he had to pluck out the ingrown hairs that occurred as my hair grew back in around that incision. He's very squeamish. It almost killed him.

I'd seriously consider taking a long hard look at my relationship if I were in your shoes. To me, it sounds as if you two could use a long talk and some couples counseling. What if you had been in a serious car accident that required reconstructive surgery? What if you had appendicitis or a tumor that required surgery? What if you needed a stint or a transplant? Would he find you unattractive for any of those reasons? My husband loves me fat, thin, with scars, without, hairy legs, overgrown eyebrows, roots showing, gassy, greasy haired, in sweats, with zits.... He's in for the long haul. If something came up cosmetically that he changed his mind, I am fairly certain the change of heart would be more than skin deep.