LipstickLady

Girl. Excuse my need to get real, and I am saying this with all due respect but many of us do seem to surround ourselves with like minded folk. You seem to be very focused on your weight and appearance -- at least here on these forums. That's not a knock, it's simply MY perception. I'm guessing that your tendency to focus on your personal appearance guides the attention of the men you are dating to do the same. Join groups that focus on biking, hiking, knitting, whatever it is YOU enjoy doing and like minded people will be there to be met. You turned around my post about men being obsessed with my weight and looks and made it my fault. It's ME that's obsessed with my weight and so therefore I attract men who are. That's just nuts. I'm online dating. I go out with a wide variety of men- different types and different backgrounds. It's a fairly random selection. I was doing the online dating thing at 160 pounds not that long ago. And no one mentioned my weight or looks, what I ate (I ate even less then) and I feel I got a lot more men interested in who I am than what I look like. I'm not wearing a flag that says "skinny obsessed men here" and I NEVER bring up weight on a date!! I have a rule never to discuss exes, weight, or health problems on a first date. It's the men. They look at me like I'm some rare type of zoo creature escaped that they've won the lottery to be out with. I just sit there eating my dinner while they go on and on about weight!! If I have to hear one more thin guy tell me about how he needs to lose 20 pounds!! Maybe I need to get better at shutting down the subject when it comes up. I need to come up with some lines that stop them from discussing it. I am not feeling much sympathy for what I'm going through. I've just lost 125 pounds and I find myself in a body that is totally foreign to me. I never expected to look like this. And men are treating me different because of it. I am not obsessed with my weight- I'm going through a huge adjustment and this forum is where I post on that subject. So yeah! I talk about my feelings regarding weight a lot!! What am I supposed to talk about? The price of rice in China?? I am very self confident- I love myself and I carry my head high. I am finding out that men, especially white men, in California, are super attracted to very thin women. And some of them are fixated on it to an unhealthy degree. I literally get the 10nth degree from these guys or they just can't stop commenting on my looks and it's so uncomfortable. They launch into complaining about their weight and then I just feel so awkward. It's not something that is my fault. It just is. I look like a model (well, an old one!) and I'm getting the attention of men obsessed with looks. It makes sense. It's new for me. It's weird. I don't like it. But it's a reality I'm dealing with. Their comments about other people weight and shortcomings piss me off!!! I'm also meeting men who care about more than that. Thank goodness. I'm looking for support on here and telling me I post too much on any one subject hurts my feelings. You don't have to read my posts if you don't want to hear what I have to say. You don't always have to agree with me or sympathize but at least don't make me feel I can't open up about things in a place where we all should be able to talk openly. Nope. Nope. Nope. I never said fault. I simply pointed out what I think *might* be the issue from your history of posts on this board. Sorry if my words made you feel uncomfortable. Open is good. Open is awesome. I can only respond based on what I "know" about you. If I am wrong, I am wrong.

Non scale Victory.

I call it "doing his duty." Happy wife = happy life.

in turn, if you don't like the answer you get, ignore it. Not every answer is going to meet every need. Take what you want, leave the rest. That's how the internet works.

Girl. Excuse my need to get real, and I am saying this with all due respect but many of us do seem to surround ourselves with like minded folk. You seem to be very focused on your weight and appearance -- at least here on these forums. That's not a knock, it's simply MY perception. I'm guessing that your tendency to focus on your personal appearance guides the attention of the men you are dating to do the same. Join groups that focus on biking, hiking, knitting, whatever it is YOU enjoy doing and like minded people will be there to be met.

So you are a grown up who is opposed to words such as duckface and urinal? Geez! You'd pass out within minutes in a middle school.

Those wraps are a scam. Basically they dehydrate your flesh and the "inches" you "lose" are Water. A few days and a few cups of water later and you refind the weight.

Not one second has gone by pre or post op where I have regretted my decision. Not one moment, not one glancing thought, not one fleeting wish... The complaints I listed are absolutely nothing compared to the list of complaints I could have made while I was obese. I got my life back, and I gave my family the gift of being the absolute best possible me I could be. I am abso-freaking-lutely thrilled every moment of every day.

I'd rather have loose skin, look hot in skinny jeans and OK nekky than have fat filled flesh, be unhealthy, look/feel uncomfortable in my clothes and look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy nekky. Just sayin!

That is workplace bullying and harassment and I NEVER use those words lightly. You need to go above your supervisor and to your HR department with this. That's grounds for dismissal.

Uh-oh, if it is weird, language failed me. I was aiming for straightforward.I'm just a host here, but I'm fairly certain that threats are a direct violation of our rules and regulations. I'd rethink that behavior if I were you.

Only if you're wearing shoes appropriate to the occasion. "Walk this way, la la la......" Thanks, I'll pass.

It wasn't.

That's what she said.

Wait, huh??? Is that some weird threat??

Disobedience? Did I walk into some sort of dominatrix thing?

I give out candy and the candy I give out is the good stuff! I am not a sweets eater, so a piece or so a day is more than plenty. I prefer to waste my candy calories on something I love rather than something I don't, so I get what I like.

It's asked that men not post in female only topics (they are for women only) and females are not to post in male only topics. There have been sensitive bunnies (cough cough men)in the past unfortunately, so that's the way it is! We do have a forum for both men and women to share more delicate topics here: http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/1183-where-venus-and-mars-collide-new/

Just because you might not like someone's answer to your question does NOT mean they are being mean/bullying/being hurtful/etc. I truly wish people would post that they want happy, warm cuddly responses that are 100% in agreement with them so I could skip those posts.

Yes. That was the part that tickled me. She was shown bias against due to her obesity by her bariatric surgeon. Uhm....

Millennials. I vote they are millennials. And before everyone jumps on me about that comment, I have 2. I know the attitudes well. Just sayin'. I don't think it's age, I think it's entitlement. And emotional intelligence. Venting is fine, whining is OK. But at the end of it all, one must take accountability and OWNERSHIP for the part they play in their own destiny. Not happy with how thing are going? Cry, moan and fix. Period.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

I love it when people post their issues, other people don't give them the validation then want and they erase it. JEEEZUS.

I wrote letters to my kids, my family and my besties when I had brain surgery. I write letters to my kids when I travel on business. I wrote letters to my kids when I had this surgery, even though it was outpatient. The letter read as follows: Please walk the dog, give her fresh Water and clean the guinea pig cage. If there are any dishes in the sink, underwear on the floor, or shoes in the hallway when I get home, I will beat you senseless. I love you and will call you tonight. Mommy

Life isn't fair. Those responding aren't being "hard" on YOU, just as the receptionist isn't being "hard" on YOU. Policy is policy. The doctor has a right to make his/her policy and it's your job to follow it. I KNOW it's frustrating, just as it's frustrating for those who had to take time off work to schedule appointments because the more convenient times were taken, those who had to get a babysitter, because they couldn't get an appointment slot when the kids were in school. Nope. It's NOT "fair". It's business.