Sounds like no matter if you would have included her or not she would still have feelings of fear and jealousy. Maybe she didn't bring them up right away because she didn't want to burst your bubble. My husband has said the same thing about the divorce rate. Even my mother brought it up and suggested we go to a psychiatrist together. Even if you can't do that, I always say honesty first even if it hurts a little. In the long run it will be better for everyone. I also told my husband I would do whatever I could to save money for his surgery, as his insurance does not cover it, and I mean it. Just basically trying to show support during something that really will impact him too. Good luck with everything! You're so close, don't lose sight now!