JDoe10108

I am pre-op and just completed all of my testing. I am currently waiting for insurance approval. Since I began this process, my wife has been very supportive. She told me she stood behind me 100%. I gave her a list of all my Dr. visits and told her she was welcome to join. But I also said she didn't have to as I didn't want to bog her down with Dr. appts. I kept her informed as things progressed letting her know how the Dr. visits went. Things were fine until this week when I completed all my testing and received all my clearances. Now she is very upset. She said she feels very out of the loop on what is going on and that I have been secretive about the process. Of course I feel the total opposite as I continually discussed this with her. She also said how upset I was that I did not consider the impact on her. Of course my first thought was I have to change, you don't. She said that she read divorce rates are 65% for bypass patients. She also told me she was jealous that I could get surgery and she can't. This went on and on and she was very angry with me. My jaw totally hit the floor. The whole time she said nothing, and now all of a sudden my decision on surgery was a huge issue. Has anyone else experienced this? Any suggestions on how to handle? I've gone from being very excited about this surgery, to very melancholy.

Congrats on your success! Looks like your doing great!!!

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope you find this site as helpful as I have. Best of luck in your decision!!

patiscuba: That is a very good point. That is my outlook on this entire process. When I looked at surgery, I felt the benefits outweighed the risks. All of my grandparents dies from cancer, and diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure all run in my family. I felt that this would reduce my risks so signifigantly, it was the right thing to do.

laura-ven: she tells me surgery is not something she wants to consider. She was enrolled in a program for weight loss, but due to the BMI requirement. The Dr. actually suggested she gain a few pounds so she couldget approved for surgery. However, after she researched it, she felt the surgery wasn't for her and I respect that. Perhaps maybe because she doesn't think its the right route for her, she assumes its not the right path for me either.

ramirelek - sounds like your situation was very similar. Glad to hear he finally came around. I'm trying to make her understand my only motivators for this surgery is my health, and to be around a long time for her and my daughter. That being the case, it really burst my bubble when I heard her comments. Curvy - thanks for your post. That's a great perspective. I'll do my best to have her join me in making changes as well. Not only will that be easier for me in the end, but it will help her increase her health as well. I appreciate your response. Nicolanz - thanks for your response. Great to hear things worked out in the end!

laura-ven thank you so much for your post. It's good to hear you had a positive experience. I don't even see divorce on the horizon or having anything to do with this...but that's me. She can't have the surgery because her BMI is too low and the insurance will not cover it. I think the thought of me losing weight so quickly does make her feel like she is being left behind. shannon crotts - thank you. It sounds like you had a good experience too. I haven't really heard of anyone I knew getting the surgery getting divorced afterward. Cocopuff88 - thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I am very close and the timing of this hit me hard. Takingcontrol - I think we would become more closer too. I think I will need a lot of help from her on a daily basis as I recover, and also for her to be kind of a coach to keep me on track. As I mentioned, she doesn't have a BMI high enough for surgery. Kelsa - Thanks. I figured she is scared - after all you generally here more horror stories about surgery than you do the successes. I have been trying to re-assure her this shouldn't have an effect on our relationship.

Wow!!! What a huge transformation. Congratulations on all of your success. You look great!

Those progress pics are amazing! You look beautiful! Keep up the good work and thank you for posting. Stories like yours are so inspiring to me!

Wow, what progress you have made. Congratulations on all of your success and thank you for sharing with the rest of us.

Awesome....so happy for you! Congrats!

Hi there! Over the past few weeks I have decided to go ahead and move forward with the sleeve. I have considered weight loss surgery in the past, but due to insurance issues and my general dislike of the risks associated with an RNY, I did not proceed. I am happy to say I feel the sleeve is the perfect tool for me. I have done a lot of research and read about the good and the bad. I have chosen a surgeon, starting working on insurance approval, and working through my pre-op. I know this process is going to be a challenge and I am so grateful that this website exists, and is full of people willing to help! As I progress through this process, I wanted to find a sleeve buddy. I'd prefer to find someone around my age. If you read this and think your interested let me know!!! Thanks!