the best me

Annette, you are an inspiration. Don't beat yourself up for another minute! And you are gaining because muscle weighs more than fat, so hang on, the scale will show results, it WILL! I have been banded just shy of a year, and was really hoping to see a 50 pound loss, but settled for a 45 pound loss. I got on the scale this morning and gave up on that...maybe a 40 pound loss for the first year is all I get? Oh well. I have to remember that just 2 years ago I weighed in at 242 or so. That's a 55 pound loss overall. Nothing to sneeze at! Still, 35 pounds gone in a year with the band seems awfully slow to me! So I'm with ya on that! Kepp up the good work on your exercise. You are dong great! With the erosion risk, I'll be thrilled to still have my band working for me after 3 years!! You rock! :rockon:

Oh TommyO, quit making me cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks.

Okay, thanks for straightening me out. I didn't know Nick's brother was Drew! Helllooo! Stacy should have gotten first. I thought Drew did better than Jerry. I didn't see Lisa enough to know. The scores don't reflect the outcome, for sure! It's the voting that gets the winner. I liked that show. I wish I had seen it from the beginning.

Whoa, Nellie. Yes...all the time I have to garden my thoughts, because conclusions grow up in me like fungus, waaaay to easily. You know the thoughts, the negative self-talk, based on experiences, things said, things done, things that just happen. The fungus just mass-produces under those circumstances. I have spent the weekend fighting the fungus of conclusions. It started, TommyO, with our words and the posts of others about the ignore button (on that other thread, I think). The fungus grew up in me and I have been fighting it ever since. Things happen, not just LBT things, either, but all over my life. One little stupid comment from me blooms into more and more oppressing ugliness. I'm so sensitive to those things, it drives me crazy. THIS is a real area for needed growth and maturity for me. Leave it to Nietzche. Thanks for the quote TommyO.

I have been catching this show off and on. Is Stacy the leggy blonde? She's really really good, and she got 3rd place? Drew is the football player? He was really cute and sweet, but I kept thinking the Lachey boy was better...was he in the final 3? And where did Lisa Renna end up? She's just gorgeous, but I admit I only saw her dance in the clips. Which one is Jerry Rice?

Okay, flipping through Discovery Channel last nite they had a show on about a 750 pound man. Amazing. So this doc was discussing research about food addiction, and they did test studies on obese people, seeing how their brains reacted to foods. The MRI scans were eerily similar to the scans of those who are drug and alcohol addicted. What happens (if I'm remembering correctly and this doc is right) is the food causes dopamine levels to surge, and for some reason, obese folks do not have the receptors for the dopamine like "normals" in the world, so it takes lots and lots of food, in increasing amounts over the years, to get the dopamine levels to cause the addiction to be triggered properly...so you get the HIGH from your food. So, the more you eat, the more you NEED to eat to get your HIGH. Sigh. She also commented that exercise increases dopamine receptor sites, so not only is the exercise good for health and weight loss, it SHOULD cause the need for less food to get the same HIGH. I'm addicted to food, coffee, and ciggies. I'm going NOW to call my doc and change my Wellbutrin prescription so I can actually take it. I'm hoping it helps to get rid of the ciggies for good and helps me not to get so anxious about my food. Don't get me wrong, my band helps tremendously. I have been stuck fighting to stay below 190 for months now and it's getting old. I'm dong whatever it takes!

StrawartS, I have nominated your post for Best PB Episode Description on the following thread: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=14587 so go see! I did a copy/paste...hope you don't mind.

I have a nomination for Best PB Episode Description. Pretty dramatic and well-written. Grab the tissues and close the office door to stifle the laughter! And, here's the link to the entire thread: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=15400 This is written by StrawartS: Oh my god. I had gone almost 3 months post-banding without what you people so lovingly call a "PB," and let me tell you, those two little words do not do the deed any justice. I kept reading about people throwing up and I wondered what the hell was wrong with you all. I would almost rather die than vomit, as I have a very sensitive gag reflex, and once I get started, I can't stop. I thought you had to be crazy to eat so much or so wrong that it came back up. Oh, little did I know. Now, I've had the golfball. I get the golfball, in varying intensities, several times a week. I figured it was just first bite syndrome, and it would always pass by walking around or trying to wash it down. Until last night. I was on the San Antonio River Walk with some friends, and we were having some appetizers and margaritas. All of a sudden, I got the worst golfball ever. No warning. I went to the bathroom to try to walk it off. I paced the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and my mouth was filling up with slime. And then I threw up. It was mostly slime, and only a tiny amount of food. The most impressive part to me was that the slime came out in a 9 inch diameter BUBBLE! Like when you're using that string and wand thing and blowing bubbles! Crazy. If I didn't feel like such total shit I would have examined it more closely. I thought I was better, and someone was trying to come into the bathroom, so I returned to my seat. I still had pressure in my chest, but nothing too bad. A few minutes later, the excrutiating golfball returned. We got up to leave, and I thought the walk back to the hotel would clear it. But no. The more I walked, the more painful it became, and my mouth continued to fill with slime. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and I ran into the nearest restaurant to use the bathroom. Or, what I thought was a restaurant. It was actually some sort of bar that was checking IDs. I tried to hurry past the guying yelling "Ma'am!" until he manhandled me. I was at once flattered that I looked younger than 21 and terrified that I might vomit on this lovely young man. I turned to him and urgently whispered "I'm going to vomit. Please let me use your bathroom." If I have learned anything about men, it is that they are most afraid of a crazy bitch...especially a crazy bitch about to throw up. I found the bathroom and immediately began vomiting. Another HUGE bubble. (Could I make money off this talent?) It is this vomiting session that I now consider the OFFICIAL WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. It was so painful, both in my chest and my pouch, and not at all PRODUCTIVE, like vomiting before the band was. Little chunks of food were coming up and getting stuck on the back of my tongue, making me gag and heave more. Eventually, everything that was going to come up did, and I was left sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. And trying to rinse foot long slimes out of my mouth for the next five minutes. Ok, so if you're still reading, a few observations: 1. Are you fucking kidding me? This has happened to you people more than once? My mom was banded a month before me, and I know that she has had this kind of episode on MANY occassions. I do not comprehend. Last night's situation has scared the pants off of me, and I have been eating VERY carefully today. I can honestly say that I would rather die than go through that again. 2. Are you telling me that I PAID for this? I should start another thread about the GIANT SCAM that is the lapband, but I'll be brief here. This was NOT in the power point presentation. The golfball was NOT ever mentioned to me. The imaginary feeling of fullness that doesn't register with your head was NOT ever acknowledged pre-banding. 3. Productive Burp? How about Excrutiatingly Painful Gagging Sliming Heaving Feels Like You're About to Die Vomitation? (EPGSHFLYADV) Seriously, the acronym is EXCEPTIONALLY deceiving. I had no idea what I was in for. And, no, I'm not too tight. I've had this fill for a month, and have eaten much worse than I did last night. In fact, I ate half a pizza last week with no problems. Please don't judge me and tell me to eat Protein. So, basically, I'm pissed, and I'm getting more pissed as I write this. I'm terrified of ever going through that again, and I'm angry that I was misled. I am convinced that this procedure is entirely experimental and will be contraindicated in about 10 years. And physiologically, it makes no sense. How can my pouch hold half a pizza one day and just a few bites another? I need a scientific explanation beyond "the band is finicky." I know this isn't the right forum for I Hate My Band discussions, but maybe there are a few others like me lurking. Anybody? TaaDaaaaa! Well done Strawart! Remember to click the link to reply to her thread. I thought this was just priceless, what with the 9 inch bubbles and foot long slimes.

Paulax, keep ONE item just so you can see how far you have come. You will need that inspiration one day, and it will be hanging there in your closet. The rest, let it go!

I have seen folks complain about having big time trouble with mushrooms, and another with Mozz sticks, similar, I'd say, to your Jap poppers. The wings were probably okay (goop is good!) if you chewed well. So, yeah, it's probably what you ate, especially while talking and socializing. If I were out on the town, I wouldn't pass up much of that menu either! My bet is that what you ate (before your EPGSHFLYADV) is MUCH less than what you would have eaten pre-band, so one night out isn't gonna send your diet over the edge. Noone's gonna give you a hard time about a splurge on food. Unless, of course, you show up whining "I can't understand why I'm not losing!!!" and this is your menu most of the time. Okay, time to get on track with your food choices. You'll just lose better that way. Plus, when you are banded and filled properly, it's soooo much easier to ignore the evil foods and choose the yummy healthy ones. You can do this!!!! I agree, this PB description should win an award for sure. I'll giggle till bedtime about this one! Geez. That's a goodie!

Yours was a particularly difficult PB. Not all PBs are that painful and long lasting and dramatic. Please tell us what you were eating and drinking? And I like that thought that, especially after a fill, you really have to be careful because it changes all the rules of eating! And it IS very personal.

OMGosh, I don't know whether to die laughing or cry with you! I know, I know, I know!!! No, I'm not going to give you the "it's your fault" speech, or the "it's just that the bad is fickle" speech, just think here for a sec about the mechanics of the band. Funnel. Some days the funnel is tighter than other days. Bread is easy for me if it's well chewed. So I can see a 1/2 Totinos or the like pizza going down fine. I have 2cc in a 4cc band. I'm not too tight either. So you put food in that funnel and it flows slowly through. The heavier to food the slower it drains. Plus (and I have seen this on flouro) the upper part of the stomach still squeezes to get food down past the band. It doesn't just sit there idle waiting for your band to drain. It's important to keep that in mind as you are chewing. You can get a piece of food stuck in the funnel and stuff drains around it for a little while but it causes the golfball and if the area swells from irritation at all, you are in for more of what you had. I'm really sorry. The nine inch bubbles and the foot long slimes make me laugh, but it's very scary. I don't wish is on anyone! I read about all this stuff for months before my banding so my fisrt PB was scary, but Iknew what was happening. You do know to go to liquids only for 24 hours after such a bad PB (or EPGSHFLYADV, as you say!), right? You are most certainly swollen and irritated and need to rest that band. As for you weight loss, you really need to do some reading up around here to get some ideas about how to handle that. Frankly, I'm a little scared of you!! So if you have a question, ask, but I won't offer more than to say that when I allow more than 1 slice of pizza into my diet, I don't lose either. (ducking now to avoid the shoe, and then the other one). Good luck. I know you will get some wonderful replies and I can't wait to read them!

Okay, my jaw dropped like Penni's did when I didn't know mine. I remember this song from 6th grade, maybe? That'd be around 1976...is that how old you are, Wheetsin? It's a good one..."just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. Don't need ta be coy, Roy, just listen to me..." everybody sing!!!!

It will all be a distant memory, promise! Congrats! Welcome to Bandland!

Well done dawg! I agree, those aren't small, they are GREAT!!! I bought 2 Size Large sweaters in the regular dept, not the Plus sizes! And I keep getting compliments! They actually fit, rather than swallowing me whole like my old 3X sweaters made to hide beneath. Yay!

Dody, you got super advice, and I hear ya, loud and clear! You have spoken well, and above the din, and made yourself heard with a very well-written post, and I promise to do a better job, and I promise when you show up somewhere, I WILL know who you are. :scared: I'm really sorry the Blossom picture with no info bothered you. I understand totally. I did post the link to her thread and hope that was helpful. Hang on for dear life. The LBT ride can be long and hard some days, but it's worth it. And if I haven't said it yet, welcome to LBT!

This is the Mass where you get the Ash cross on your forehead? Sorry to sound so dumb. I really should know this. Okay, Wed March 1st I'm praying more, logging on less. God help me!!!!

When were you banded? Have you had any fills? That's helpful info...sometimes if you put those things in your signature, it's easier for folks to look and get some ideas about your problem. I have a few ideas, other than getting an unfill. Suck on a Tums every once in a while to eliminate excess acid. Do a search on "Esophogitis" or "Esophagitis". If you need help doing a search, holler. Sip slower, in smaller amounts at a time. Hang on, you will get to the bottom of this. Hand over some more info, though, and we'll toss around some ideas.

Excellent ideas all. Thanks for the prayer, Jen. Somedays leaning on God is all I got, when I really should be leaning on Him first!

Dianne, did you doc replace and move your port? I know you said you had some type of allergic reaction in the hospital, is this the same rash? Keep a close eye on it and be ready to call your doc. You do NOT want a port infection. When's you next follow up appointment?

I'm not Catholic, just call me a clueless Protestant, but when I read THIS I gasped! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! I'm so convicted!!!! I should substitute LBT time with prayer and I'd be prayed up for me, my hubby, my kids, my entire church and neighborhood, and still have plenty of time left to pray for my wonderful LBT friends! Ah geez. Fine, fine. When does Lent start? Think God minds if I'm not Catholic? haha

ROTFL!!!!! Damn Dog!!!!!!!!! I just love you guys, all of you!

Phentermine is a prescription appetite suppressant/diet pill/SPEED! I guess. It's the Phen of Phen/Fen I think. I got it from my doc and still have them hanging around. They kill the appetite and speed up your metabolism for the day. I notice when I take them I urinate frequently during the day, so I guess it speeds everything up. They do cause the jitters, though. I don't particulaly like them, and can't take them every day because of the jitters, but they do give a boost in the right direction. Hope that helps.

Nothing magical happend overnight. I was 187.2 this morning...not even my lowest. I don't get it? But I'll keep chopping away at it and one of these days...it will show on the scale. Have fun going out tonight! Romance...wahoooo!!!! Kim, the lower you get the harder it gets. You will be below 200 in no time. You are doing so great!!!!

Dody, I have been thinking alot about your post, and I know exactly what you mean. I have been on LBT for over a year now, and even have my fair share of posts (lots and lots of them) and I still don't know just where I fit in here. Then I got to thinking about High School where I was a cheerleader (ohhhh soooo loooong and many pounds ago) and I had similar feelings then. Friends with everyone, but not REALLY friends with anyone, save a few. It left me feeling a bit lost, but safe to have some kind of title or identity, even if it wasn't but a corner showing of the real me. Noone wanted to see the rest of what wasn't sticking out. Most days that was okay, but somedays it hit hard and left me feeling lost. So I'm doing the dishes this morning, and realize that I'm comparing my High School angst with the culture of LBT. I'm 40 years old. I just don't know what to think about that. You know, I still do and say stupid stuff. THAT bends my nose. DonnaB, I'm adding my height to my sig. I agree, it's helpful info. And I used to go back and edit my spelling errors, now I just leave them. But glaring grammar errors? I make an attempt. There was a word I realized I was spelling wrong, er, in error, for years and years. It was a contraction...what was it? "Theyr'e" I think. Isn't it supposed to be "They're"? Oh well. If anyone sees a grammar error in any of my posts, feel free correct me. In an attempt to be friends with everyone, I wouldn't want anyone to read my grammar errors and get bent out of shape on my account. LOL