Chelenka

It's like we're sleeve twins! We ate our Easter dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant. I had a salad with lobster and crab. It was good but I really wanted some pasta, just knew I'd end up bringing most of it home where it would become a science experiment in the back of the fridge, unless the Hubs ate it. On the up side it laft me room for dessert, chocolate gelati! Yummy! Is it good or bad that ice cream is a slider? That's a rhetorical question. If I'd ordered the pasta dish I wouldn't have gotten the Gelati. Much as I enjoy a good salad, and this was supposed to be an appetizer not an entree, I did feel somewhat deprived as I watched the Hubs snarf down his amazing filet mignon in wine reduction sauce. (He gave me a bite and it was delicious!). However, the reality of the finality of this choice to forever limit my ability to pig out has indeed set in. It's what I want but it isn't always easy. Not complaining really but the never ending struggle, which is almost completely mental/emotional, is so old at this point. It has been my whole life.

Back up to 227 this morning. My body just seems to want to stay there. Oy! Anyway, have a very happy Easter, Bea and everyone! May your weigh-ins all be lower!

You are BEAUTIFUL! Own it! Enjoy it! Revel in it! Please stop torturing yourself over the BMI number! I will probably never reach a "normal" BMI number. I don't care as long as I'm healthy and feel good in my body. That being said we are both in the same maintenance boat together. Struggling to reach a certain number and take off the last few lbs. I also have bad knees but not ready for the knee replacement yet. Do you still have cartiledge? If so Synvisk injection really helped me and that was pre-weight loss.

@@Mitz You're looking great! Congratulations! I'll be 55 in October. I feel so much younger now without all that excess weight. It's so wonderful, freeing and amazing, isn't it? So happy for myself and all of us 50-somethings! Here's to the next 50 years of health and happiness!

Mornin Bea and everyone! 226.2 this morning Not a big loss but going the right direction so I'll take it! Happy Sunday and weigh-ins to all!

I am experiencing terrible anxiety that not only will I never reach my goal weight but that I will become an epic fail and regain all the weight I've lost. I am almost 14 months post-op and my hunger level feels out of control. Some of the problem is stress which is also out of control and I'm trying to re-engineer how I use my time. But I feel just like I always felt pre-sleeve, like I'm trapped, nothing works, i'm a complete failure and thus should just give up. I know from my highest weight ever back in 2002 I've lost almost 150 lbs but I feel emotionally as though nothing has changed when it comes to my issues with food. The desire and ability to overeat has returned. I am seeing my therapist tomorrow and also have my 1 year follow-up with my surgeon next week, which is probably playing into my emotional state. It's the old familiar vicious circle of eating cuz I'm upset and then being upset with myself for overeating which makes me want to eat more because I've never learned how to handle difficult emotions any other way. Plus I keep feeling so angry all the time and I haven't bern able to figure out why I'm so angry. Feels a bit psychopath to me like I'm gonna go postal or something. Why can't I just enjoy where I am and my new life? Is it because I must keep up this constant vigilance over what I'm eating and what I weigh? I weigh myself every day now and there are a lot of fluctuations. I was hoping that I would become less freaked out over the scale and just take it as information but that doesn't seem to be the case, perhaps because it's not moving in the right direction. The other issue is I'm not getting any exercise because of having bern sick with the flu and schedule issues interfering. I know exercise really helps me with stress and weight loss so I've got to make time for it. But just thinking about trying to make the time causes me more stess! Feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and the kicker is that I've unwittingly created this situation for myself all from good intentions (the road to hell!). Thanks for listening and any support is greatly appreciated!

I was 357 at my highest weight and 325 when I first met with my surgeon. 307 on my day of surgery 2/28/13. I'm a tall lady, 6'1" and my goal for myself is 220 and I've gotten as low as 225 but have been struggling lately with some emotional eating issues. The goal you set for yourself is personal and I admire your determination. I think the PA's concern was probably that the surgery alone won't get you there. I was told I could expect to lose 60% of my excess weight from the surgery and the rest was up to me. That last part is very true, at least for me it is. The closer I get to my goal the more illusive it becomes. Ironic, no? I am now one of those women I used to despise who fret over 5lbs! Kinda funny really.

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful replies, advice and support. I saw my therapist on Thursday and it was very helpful as well. She gave me some tools to use to help myself calm down and be more loving to myself and not so self-critical. I am feeling more at peace. I think though that there is a part of me that wants to fail. It's my angry inner little girl who feels unloved and wants to eat whatever she wants whenever she wants it. To her/me food=love. So until and unless I come to terms with my food=love inner self I will always be at risk of regaining the weight. I see that a path has been laid before me and I can choose how I walk on it. I have already decided really by choosing to have WLS. I think I knew I would come up against this wall eventually but the weight loss was so easy for the first 8 months or so that I just figured I'd cope with it when I got there. As usual I was knee deep in deNile. I hope that by coming to terms with my own emotionally driven eating behaviors that I can help others do the same. It is good to know that I am not alone in this struggle to reach my goal and maintain it. You are all inspirations to me. Big cuber hug ((()))!!!

Thank you both for your kindness, wisdom and support. Just getting it out in writing helped me feel calmer. I started daily weigh-ins because so many veterans say thats what keeps them on the straight and narrow. But maybe I'll give it a break til sunday as I'm taking part in the Easter weight loss challenge. So far I'm sucking at it as I've gained, not lost. Oy! I need to change things up because my way of doing things and of eating isn't working for me and if I want different results I have to try a different path. After all the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

The surgeon didn't operate on my brain! That's the problem! Stress is a big issue for me right now and I know it not only makes me want to eat more but also causes your body to hold on to everything. I swear sometimes I can feel my thighs storing fat! LOL! I need to restructure how I use my time so that I can focus on what truly matters to me not only in terms of my weight loss but also how I want to live my life. I have a lot more choices but also feel overwhelmed and that stresses me out too! Feel like I can't win.

For me it's both. Plus it's the eternal struggle with emotional eating and sugar addiction. I don't want to say I'll never eat a sweet treat again because I know it would be a lie. I seem to have a fine line when it comes to sugar.

I don't think there's a specific amount of time but I would say for most of us it the first 6-8 months, after which in my case, I started to be able to eat more and my hunger returned. I still continued to lose but at a much slower rate with a lot of ups and downs. I have to work at it now in order to reach my goal (just 7 lbs to go). It's not as much of a struggle as it was pre-sleeve though.

227 this morning. Up 2 lbs. i knew it was too good to be true last week. Sigh.

P.s. Love Seattle. Great city!

Great thread Cowgirl. I agree that regular exercise helps with mood regulation. I think it has been well-documented by the mental health field at this point. I too suffer from what I consider to be symptoms of depression including deep sadness for short periods of time and also irritability and anger over minor issues that I wouldn't have reacted to pre-sleeve. I also sometimes have trouble sleeping and use an OTC sleep aid if necessary. I also lost my brother in 2009 with whom I was very close and sometimes I am still overcome with periods of grief. I think there are probably hormonal factors involved but I feel, for myself, that food is my drug of choice, my best friend, lover and the devil I know (almost in the biblical sense since it has certainly f-d with my head! LOL). But I digress. What I'm ineptly trying to say is that without the self-medication of food I am having to cope with my feelings, good and bad. Their intensity takes me by surprise! I was always numb in my carb-induced stupor before. Now I also get frightened by how differently (better and nicer) I am treated by other people now and I get overwhelmed sometimes. It is a huge transformation in every sense and yet I am still me, struggling with my food addiction and sometimes filled with self-loathing for giving in to it. I too really have a good and happy, comfortable life so I can't complain and have no immediate reason to feel sad. Maybe it's just the season changing or my age/hormonal state or this 21st Century world we live in with all the stress it brings. I wish I could go horseback riding! I love horses!

I remember being really excited about cream of wheat my 2nd week post-op. LOL! I made it too thick and it got stuck. I was miserable for a couple of hours til it finally started to break down. You can't always feel when you are full the first month or so as you are still healing. It's a good idea to measure your portions, eat slowly and chew thoroughly.

Welcome KajunGumbo! That first week post-op is a tough one but you made it through!

I'm with you! I find that I'm really struggling against my old eating patterns. Not only do I feel hunger more I also can eat more. It really scares me. I keep fighting with the same 3 lbs. better than fighting with 25 lbs but I feel very discouraged, fearful and ashamed over my lack of self-control. But then my self-control has never been very strong when it comes to food. I am trying to incorporate a protein shake as a meal replacement. Not every day but at least twice a week. It seems like the more I eat the more I CAN eat and in order to feel the sleeve's restriction I have to stop eating solid food for a while.

It's probably a dehydration symptom. Getting enough water is nearly impossible in the early post-op phase cuz you can't drink it fast like before. Always have a bottle of water with you and keep sipping all day. Also the surgery is a shock to your body so yes, talk to you Dr but give your body some time to recover too.

Hi Bea: weighing in this morning at 225! Yea me! I've been sick with the flu so my appetite has been down. So the challenge will be to keep it going when my appetite returns.

Glad to hear you are doing well and back to work but I gotta spank you about not getting enough water. It's critical not just for your weight loss but for your well-being. Take two or three big water bottles with you to work and wherever you go. Dehydration is a danger always for us sleevers but especially in the early stage of healing.

It may be an arthritic immune response in reaction to the surgery. Try a warm compress and see if it helps it relax. Also I use a topical pain reliever called Sombra or the Salon Pas pain patches. A cortisone shot could help but you'll need to see an orthopedist for that, I think. Hope this helps.

Relax honey! You are just in a stall which is totally normal and usually hits around 3-4 weeks post-op. Just keep doing what you ate supposed to do and the weight will come off. Have patience with your body. You are still healing.

I agree with Lipstick but I totally understand where you are coming from. My sweet hubby also is overweight but he at least acknowledges he needs to change his ways. He doesn't do it but he acknowledges the issue. It sounds like your husband may be going thru some emotional-eating issues but also a full physical to rule out any underlying hormonal or medical issues isn't a bad idea IMO. You can't force him to change, he has to want to. However, you can have a heart-to-heart with him about your concern for his well-being. Hang in there!

AWESOME JOB! Enjoy that road bike! I want a new bike too!