porclndoll

Today is the first day with my new fill. I am filled up to 2.5 cc's now in my 4.0 band. Im scared of this fill. Dr Kwon was sorta iffy about doing it....but I have been on a plateau now for three months~ Which is good...I didn't gain thru the holidays and I didn't gain thru the most stressful time in my life....but now its time to get back on the wagon.......even after the freekin thing rolled over me, several times. Todays diet is kiling me!!! My body is in shock. I have a headache...im more bitchy than usual....could be pms as well...but I wanna eat dammit.Im back to liquids three times a day for two days....then liquids two times a day and a pureed meal, for two days....then two shakes and a regular meal. im dying for the regular meal. i wll be okay....just need to go to bed

Okay guys, calling all EVIL minds...mine can't be the only one out there!! I need to get some serious serious serious revenge on someone and i need some suggestions. This can't be like fish line trip wire....This can't be like a pile of fake dog poo...this has got to be A #1 prime evil stuff!! The guy I need to practical joke is a MASTER!!!! There is NO getting anything over on him.....I have some ideas but they would require access to his bedroom and the one person I could trust as an ally is his mother!! Blood is thicker than water....(it really is, thats not just a saying muahahaha) I would rather act alone on this one cause I have a feeling if One other person knows, then my chances of GETTING HIM are gone!! I have known him for a few good years and every year he gets me worse and worse and worse and I vow revenge on him...I leave him notes on his car about how I know where he sleeps... I tell him sleep with one eye open...blah blah blah...nows the time to act! I gotta get him. He got me soooo good tonight I almost peed my pants~~ Anyone out there ever pull off AMAZING practical jokes? Any suggestions will be considered...and plotted....and carried out if within my limits...Knowing him, he has found every message board I belong to and hes reading this right now....I wouldn't put it past him....he is a Master!!!!!! But I love him sooo I dont wanna kill him....just come close...he is a dear friend....but not safe from revenge MUAHAHAHAHAH

Hey guys...Well its the night before a follow up with my surgeon~ And I always get a little tweeky before seeing him.....Thoughts of gainning weight, not being the perfect banster, having to admit to all my wrong doings ( well if the dr asks that is). This is almost as if I were going to confession the day after the Prom!!! I usually make out good.....(for those of you who have seen my posts before the dr visit and after the dr visit can testify to!) Im pretty sure this time in I am getting a fill and Im nervous about that...then again, I thought the same thing last month. However this time, I feel like I need it. I am hungry, I can eat a lot in one sitting...but I am getting stuck...and why is that?? Cause of this habit that I CAN NOT BREAK of big bites and chewing till my face falls off~~ Okay, thats enough....thanks for listening guys! :eek

hey guys...back from the dr..i did get the fill. now im up to 2.5. i gotta do one shake for each meal for two days...then two shakes a one pureed meal for two days then two shakes and a regular meal....this is all to get my stomach use to my new fill. i also have to up the exercise which is nooo big surprize, but im a little ascared of this fill!!! gotta baby it i supose......i have been plateaued at 215 for a few months...the weight on my signature isn't right cause my scale is a big ol liar!!! I will adjust it to match my weigh ins with my drs office. I have desided not to weigh in at home any more because 1) my scale is a big ol liar, and 2) im not gonna stress out over the numbers. I gotta go back to some basics here.....and putting myself first is one of them! Life has been screwy over these few months plus the holidays so i came out victorious over those two situations...I didn't gain anything!!!! but now its crunch time...literally!!!! :confused: okay guys, thanks for listening! talk to you soon~

Ya know what, my taste buds havent changed much l... but the way I look at food has changed and the way other people look while they are eatting really turns me off. Like I cant watch my mom eat dinner because of her portions. I know I could NEVER eat like that again, but just knowing I did and knowing portion sizes now I can't watch other people eat! Very werid~ I think that my mind and my band are in synch sometimes, at least in this area they are.

Typically this one is me:Banane20: The big banana with the big boobs. The hair sorta looks like mine too~Short and spikey~ My brother says my hair looks like the "Heat Miesters" hair from one of them old claymation Christmas Stories...............hes right...shhh dont let him know I said that.

Okay, my song on my date of birth 11/7/72 was "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash........I can see clearly now the rain is gone...Its gonna be a bright~ bright~ sunshine day!! I always thought that song was really annoying. Now I sorta appreciate it.....My mom wasn't supose to have me. She lost a baby just before I was born, she was still born, and her doctors told my mom never ever ever get pregnt again. IF she did it could risk her life and my life. Well, she didn't listen and we both made it just fine. I was born on her birthday!!!! My sons song on his DOB 12/19/97 was "Something About the Way You Look Tonight/Candle In the Wind" by Elton John......aaaaawweeeeeeee First off I LOVE Sir Elton Secondly I love that song! I will sing that to him from now on...everynight...before he goes to sleep....aaaaawwwweee

OH MY MY MY LAPBAND FRIENDS ARE TWISTED AND EVIL~I knew I stayed here for a reason!!! JQ The phone thing is cool, but he doesn't have a land line and i wouldn't want his cell phone in the public paper...but nice one! I will keep it in the back of my mind.... Thanks Vines! He is a VERY SHY and VERY INTROVERTED individual. Anything that would cause public notice would just about send him flying back into his shell~~~ Gotta tread lightly here..... Paul ~ Some of your ideas got me excited and stuff!! I love the thought of covering his doors with drywall! I SOOO could not do the snake in a lunch bag thing. One of his issues is eatting in public....that would really do him in!!! But oh mamma would that be a sight to see!! To do anything to the inside of his house would require access. The only way I know how to get into his house is to have his mom let me in and I dont trust her completely as an alli....And lets face it hes a friend of mine so PORN doesn't bother him :confused: He would welcome the ads...:confused: we would even share and catagory them together~ Ehehehehehehe I am thinking though...He has an main office....Im thinking about turning it into a bathroom or something. That may be doable. Ya gotta understand something about this guy..he is everywhere and nowhere at the same time!! He sneeks up on ya ANYWHERE. He got me one day...I was sitting at a table assembling something for him and I was singing and singing my little heart out. I thought I was alone. All of a sudden his deep voice was RIGHT IN MY RIGHT EAR~~~ Scared the sh*t out of me!! He is a sneeky pete~Changing something in his main office would require a look out, and I did just form the unholy alliance with another friend...hummm this may be doable....The dark minds need a conference~ I just text messaged him.....perhaps over drinks...yeaaass sounds like a plan MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH THANKS GUYS FOR THE IDEAS, KEEP EM COMING!

See and my "FRIEND" is constantly doing things like this to me~ thats okay...he is soooooooo gonna get his. I may go speak to my unholy alliance tonight or next week to see where we are in the progress of our planning!!!! He does a lot of building for his business and I would soooo love to take the supports out of a building so he can see it crumble!!!! muhahahah that would be like the ultimate revenge just to see him standing there, with everything fine one minute and then the next minute, it just start to lean and come down~ I dont know if he would cry or pass out!! If I could make it happen, which I could, I would, but we are talking lots of money invested and this IS after all his business. I have thought about following him out some night when he is out on the town and taking all of the tires off his car and leaving a message on his car...and just leave the thing sitting on cynder blocks..... I have a cousin whos a cop I have thought about booting his car!!! Evil evil thoughts have been whipping in my head!!!! MYKIDSDAD~ I had the same reaction as you!! I think I broke the back of the chair!! I flew!!!

Heres the link for any of you saddists out there :mad: http://www.winterrowd.com/maze.swf

through my email of all things! sent me this link that is supose to be a maze to test hand eye cordination and your "steadyness"...soo i say cool im game. so im doing it, and i hit the wall, gotta start over....do it again...hit the wall, gotta start over...DAMMIT.....going good this time YES level two...going good going good, hit the wall DAMMIT....you get the idea...OVER AND OVER AND OVER...I was mezmorized!!! And of course in the beinning it says turn your speakers on the music will help....okay speakers are on, but im nt hearing anything..SO WHAT LEVEL THREE WAAAHOO I could be a surgeon with these hands. Level three is just barely wide enough for this little speck to send thru...but when you finally get it to a certain point THE EFFING COMPUTER SCREAMS AT YOU AND A PICTURE OF LINDA BLAIR POPS UP...AS THE POSSESSED LITTLE GIRL!!! By the time this happens you are sooo wrapped up in the maze you dont expect ANYTHING like this !!! I screamed soooo bad and jumped backwards I almost went off the chair and peed my pants! My mom was sooo paralyzed because what could be sooo bad that I PORCLNDOL WOULD BE SOO SCARED OVER...What ever it was hadda be bad, so she was stricken with fear too and she didnt see the face!!!! i spoke to a mutual friend tonight and we pinky shook we are in this revenge thing together!!! i dont think i could do it alone and this allie that i formed tonight is going to be a powerful thing!!! im surprized ya'll didnt feel the blast of heat coming up from the pits of hell as we entered this pack...but this is PURE EVIL!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

wow, i really am outta the loop on this one...sooo in general what chapps my ass ~ Old contact lenses that make your eye sting ~ that little chunk of bar soap that is left in the shower (on purpose I think) ~ not being able to jump in a mud puddle :mad: All you guys rock~~~~

Okay...out of bounds...anything sexual....Dont wanna cross any lines with my friend...all though....Muahaha~ The one real effort that I made was years ago. He hates snakes...we BOTH hate snakes and nine times outta ten thats how he gets me...with fake snakes...I made him a tin of home made peanut butter cookies, and i glued the snake to the lid so when he opened it the snake was lookin at him...all coiled up. Didnt phase him in the least....and he hates anything bodily related ~ bodily functions, blood, so i was gonna fake a complication with my band and involve some fake blood...havent had the chance yet .. that will require some serious acting and timing on my part~ i can do it though okay....up for suggestions~

DeLarla, Thanks for watching out for me! I know which ones are Water proof, I know which ones have beads in em, I know which ones have "ticklers" on em, I know which ones are compact, I know which ones are shaped like lipsticks for "convenienct and dissrete portablity"...but dammit, never heard of a quiet one. Maybe we could get together and invent one...we will need a model ~ one willing to be casted muahahahahah CrEePy ChIcK at it again~ muahahahahahah Go ahead, post it publically...I have no shame~ Just dont getchyo self thrown off LBT~ hehehehehehehe Okay Im going to sleep now. My mother has used a whole tube (it seems) of Ben Gay and its killing me!!! Its giving me a head ache!!!! That stuff is rank~~ EWL We should use it in the haunted house!!! G'nite all, and have FUN at those parties this weekend girl... I AM ANXIOUSLY AWAITING ANY SUGGESTIONS!!:eyebrows:

Vera, They say everything happens for a reason. I have lived my whole life believing that and I have searched for answers to things that happen in my life. But when you hear of a horriable story like like this it really makes you second guess a lot of things. I am so sorry for your loss and while you may never know the reasons why may you find comfort in her memory~ ~With Sympothy~

Awe Lou, Im sorry for your pain. I am going thru a divorce/seperation blah blah blah situation where he wants to get back together and I dont. I just gotta stand my ground and keep telling him that we will always be friends and I do love him, I just can't be married to him any more. I have thought of the one more time, or the sweet good bye and thats just not fair to either one of us....not in my opinion its not......I would much rather just stick to my guns and be has firm as you can be, but you can do that and stay sympothetic to his feelings. You dont need to be mean, but just be stern...this is what I want, this is why I want it and Im sorry if that hurts you because I do love you and care for you..... Just my two cents...I hope everything works out for you two~

OOOO Mahgod, I hear the air raid sirens going off in my head...Axe huh??? Eweeee which one? Phoenix? Dont even tell me Phoenix....lucky your in another state boy~ Hummm wheres my map?????

Okay, heres my opinion....If you tell a lie/fib to get you out of a situation like stealing or hurting someone then thats a problem. If you lie/fib to protect your personal business, then its okay.... I told every one I worked with that I was having Gallbladder surgery. It was all good till someone ACTUALLY had to have gallbladder surgery!! She came to me for advise and suggestions...so I had to drag her to the side and say look, the advise I gave you infront of everyone was bogus...I told her that I had the surgery. Now I am finding it easier to open up to people about...in the beginning I was very closed off about it. Dont sweat the "fib/lie" ~ your not doing it to hurt anyone....

~Lisa~ Its been a while since I got your catelog, and an even longer time since I got my regular catelog....since I moved out of the house actually....and well, certain things have been put off even longer....so I am in need of a new ummm ~~ hummm wouldn't really call it a Toy...Cause I dont intend on playing with IT......Maybe a Tool would be a better term......Yes a new tool for my Tool Box....BUT here the clincher. I need one that is absolutely silent!!! The tool itself needs to be whisper silent....me on the other hand CAN'T PROMISE ANYTHING. See, Im living with my mother and she is the hear all see all of the block!!!! So I need to be as discreat as I can be. Or else this poor cute 21 year old at work isn't going to make it back from lunch one day~ muahahahahahahah I haven't been close enough to sniff him, but if he smells good, can't promise he would make it back from the 10:00 morning break!!!! I do loves a good smellin man~ Hey Paul~Whatcha wearing??? Axe? Tommy? Eeeewe Drakarr??

Hey guys. I am having a very bad night and I need to admit to my night and go on with life tomorrow I guess. I went to my nephews 18th birthday party today. And I ate way way way tooooo much. Then after the party I went to the bar with my cousin and drank WAY TOO MUCH ~ So I walked home a little three sheets to the wind. Thankfully the bar is within walking distance to my house...well I guess that could be a bad thing too...Then I came home and had some ice cream!! I have fallen off the wagon and the effing thing rolled over me!!! My front hurts, pain in my chest which I would assume is my band trying to climb out and choke me........or could be gas....My back hurts, for what ever ungodly reason I dunno...probably from sitting on the bar stool...who the hell knows at this point....but i really over did today and I am soooo paying for it now. My chest is killing me...must be a packed pouch. Its right in the middle of my chest...could be gas too....I had meatballs and chicken at the party and chips and cake, iey iey iey I am feeling SOOO GUILTY which sucks ontop of the physical pains that I am feeling. I am just going to go to bed. I have been having a bad day since I woke up!!! C R A N K Y!! I swear by everything that is holy I am only drinking protein shakes tomorrow and I am going to get on my gazelle for one straight hour. Let us not forget shoveling...damn blizzard thats coming our way....Its been snowing now for a few hours....and the floor is covered NOT A GOOD DAY AND IM DISCUSTED IN MYSELF. Okay, thanks for listening. Im sorry im not around much but with everything thats going on in life right now and getting back to work full time, I dont have much time for anything~ I miss you guys~ Later

Vines, Your right....soo right. I shouldnt feel guilty and your right, nights like last night dont happen often enough. I think I felt guilty because I am sorta stuck at not loosing anything and not really exercising much...I have 40 pounds to go to goal, and I wanna hit goal by my bandaversary. I just dont wanna screw this up. My father has given me sooo much encouragement and I really wanna do well with this for him and my self... I was drinking toasted almonds...NOT made with skim milk....geeezzz. Your right....guilt is a useless emotion..And as far as the food was concerned at the birthday party, I thought about it today, I really didnt do too much damage there. I had meat balls, chicken piccada, and potato chips ... I ate like six sweedish style meatballs in tomato sause with a roll......a chicken fillet...and a lot of chips. they go down so easy. Nothing got stuck. I didn't PB anything back up...I didn't drink with my meals....I didn't have any veggies, but so what....A small slice of birthday cake.....like three inches by three inches, but it had cannoli filling in the middle of it and whip cream icing.....Then when I got to the bar, I had four drinks I think.....I just started adding things up and thats what made me feel guilty....Well, I had to shovel out today so I guess that burned up the excess calories... I didnt do too bad today. I really havnt been in the mood to eat today. I drank a protein shake for breakfast, hadda yogurt for lunch...and some coffee...Im planning on having another shake here soon. That damn stress seems to find me no matter where I try and hide Tomorrow will be better....I will be back into my routine....and then Thursday life will be back to normal. We go to court for custody on Wednesday. I dont have any doubt as to what the outcome is going to be, Im just not looking forward to being in court. Its what I have to do though. Okay...Thanks for listening to me babble....I do appreciate all the support I get here. Have a great night everyone~

I dont know why it happens, but it happens to me with every diet/weight loss program/exercise program I have ever been on. I am all sorts of gung ho about things, and I get amazing results then once I hit the same mark with a weight loss of 50 pounds or more, I fizzle out...the enthusisim and ambition that I started out with is gone....And this holds true still. I had surgery, was very fortunate to get it.....I was making awesome progress, keeping on tract with everything and sticking to the letter. I lost 55 pounds and now....ththththththup...(thats me giving a raspberry) I get very passay about my diet, I dont exercise...I dont know if I just figure AHH I lost enough....or AHHH I dont have to do this any more....or what the deal is....but I am at one of them fizzled out spots, and I still have a way to go till I meet my goal. I am just soooo not into a food jouranl, and exercising and water.....its passed its glory with me....and I dont know how to get that enthusism back....I can say Im tired, or I have been thru sooo much that I am overwhelmed...blah blah blah....but I am my first priority and I just dont know how to rediscover that committment once its gone. Anyone else feel that way? I use to be faithful with my weigh ins...I was soo proud of my accomplishments....I would call my father every Sunday with the weigh in, now ~ Not so much.....I find myself sneeking more and more of the things I can't/shouldn't have~~~ I have just lost it. Wheres my spark?

I dont know if Im in the same boat or not. I was on the pill for the longest time and experienced mild side effects....nothing that a good ummmm how do you say it delicately......ummm a tad of um KY wouldnt help. Okay there, enuff said about that. But since I have been off the pill...HOLY TOLEDO..I dont know if its because I haven't been with a man since I left my husband....or if its because of going off the pill, or if its because I am now 33 ("they" say women peek in their 30's)...But holy hell, the drive is unreal!!! I feel sooo sorry in some ways for the next guy Im with cause I am gonna tear him up!!!!!!! I can sooo see that old Billy Idol video Craddle of Love with tha sexy chick terrorizing that geeky guy who was hiding from her in the kitchen...thats gonna be me....

Im in DeLarla ~ Thanks for the support everyone...now I must sleep off the alcohol....muahahah gotta admit, I havent felt like this in a while ~~~ Tomorrow, one meal at a time Thanks guys

hey congrats on your surgery date! where are you getting surgery? whos your surgeon? which part of NY are you from? im sorry if you posted this somewhere else and i didn't see it. nervous is normal, but im sure things will be fine~ enjoy the thoughts of your new healthier, thinner future!!!