southernsoul

Thank you so much for the website suggestion. I had not heard of it, so I will definitely check it out. I hate the word "widow". I don't even know what that's supposed to be or feel like. It's an awful thing to have to come to terms with, so maybe engaging with other women who are facing the same thing will help. Engaging with everybody here for several months before my surgery was definitely helpful to me, so it stands to reason that finding online support for this will be helpful, too. And thank you for saying I look young. I'll be 50 in May, so that made me feel pretty good.

I don't like cottage cheese either, but I find that it I run it through the mini food processor or blender until it's smooth, I like it a lot better. I mix it with applesauce & apple pie spice or some pureed pumpkin & pumpkin pie spice. I also like it with roasted red pepper or pesto.

Thank you all so much for the kind words, prayers, and healing thoughts. Live in gratitude for the blessings in your life, and never take them for granted. Life is far too short to waste a lot of precious energy focusing on what we don't have. Hold the ones you love closely, today and every day.

I am actually in my second year of a masters degree in clinical mental health counseling. Several of my friends are clinicians, as well. Reaching out to a therapist to help me through this was one of the first things I did. For me, being able to have that safe and non-judgmental space in which to process all the elements of this tragedy is absolutely crucial. Right now, I'm in the tunnel & I can't see the end...but I know I'm not alone in the dark & that helps a lot.

I say go with knee length & sparkly or beaded all over. Classy, but very dressy.

Generally, I try to maintain a 40/30/30 split...40% of cals in Protein, and 30% each for carbs & healthy fats. I aim for 1000 cals a day, so that works out to about 100g protein, 75 g carbs, & 33 g fat.

So, I'm down about 73 lbs & I've started checking out those full body shapers. I ordered one that lets you wear your own bra, so the front doesn't cover the girls. It has extended legs, too. When it arrived, I realized it is also crotchless. OK...a little weird, but could be helpful, right? I tried it on to see if it fit & I didn't bother with a bra. Well, it squeezed me in all over & made me look like this smooth, featureless, beige mannequin woman. With the crotchless-ness going on, I ended up feeling like some kind of creepy blow up doll!!! I felt like I should walk around with my lips pursed open, too. Ick...not sure I can wear that again.

OMG, I'm totally watching this on TLC right now. Go, Gregg!

Pamper yourself a bit before surgery. Have a mani or a pedi, buy a cute new nightgown or robe to wear in the hospital & at home the first few days, give yourself a little home spa day the day before surgery, etc. Being in the hospital & those first few days at home can be rough, so treat yourself extra special right before. Good luck!

Wow, you look wonderful!! You've done a great job!

I really want to to respond to this, but I also hesitate because my husband & I have just decided to split up. However, our breakup really doesn't have anything to do with my point, which is that attractiveness is often more about self-confidence and your general attitude than it is about the number on the scale. My hubs & I met via online dating when I was around 270 or 280 lbs. I have always had pretty healthy self-esteem & I didn't worry about the men who would not be attracted to me because of my weight. I know that I don't personally find every guy attractive (including some who are physically good looking but just don't rev my engine), so to me it seemed perfectly reasonable to accept that not every man would find me attractive. I met about 10-12 men online, had one date only with about 6 of them & had multiple dates with about 5 & married the last one. One thing he always told me was that my confidence and my attitude were very sexy to him. I am now smaller than he's ever seen me, and he still thinks I am beautiful. Our separation does not seem (on the surface) to be connected to my surgery, but it's very, very new & I'm still figuring it all out. But for what it's worth, don't sell yourself short. Get out there & let yourself shine!

When I tried online dating after I got divorced I enjoyed dating several men at once. It's true that decisions have to made about who you will sleep with and when, but just because you're dating more than one man doesn't always mean that you're sleeping with more than one. It's a balance, and you have to figure out what feels right to you. Good luck!

Hi, all! Does anyone have recommendations for useful cookbooks after surgery? I love to cook, and love to "chef" it up with interesting ingredients. I found one on Amazon called Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery, but I'd love to hear about any other good ones.

I was sleeved in June the day after the final exam for my 1st summer class & 5 days before my 2nd summer class started. That 2nd class was thankfully one of the few online classes in my grad program, so I knew I wouldn't have to worry about actually driving to school & getting around campus. Sometimes my focus was a little hard to maintain, but since the class was online I could read & study & write when I was feeling up to it. I went back to regular classes when the fall semester started about 8 weeks after surgery.

I'm not sure how staying in a hotel & meeting a man near his home (or in his town vs your town) makes the issue of sex more sticky than if you were meeting a man near your home. If you're staying in a hotel & visiting your son & meeting this man for dates, are you thinking that he will expect to come back to the hotel room for sex? To me that's not much different than if you were in in your own town & he wanted to come back to your house for sex. Seems like it would be handled the same way...yes or no, depending on whether you want that or not, and the geography of hotel vs house wouldn't really matter. Or am I missing something?

Man, I love it when I'm right!! Glad it's all working out so well.

Almost every month, I lose during 2 of the weeks & then don't really lose anything the other 2 weeks. Sometimes it's 2 straight weeks of loss, followed by 2 weeks of a pause, and sometimes it's lose, pause, lose, pause. Just recently, I stalled for a full month & just kept fluctuating between the same 2 pounds. This week, I suddenly dropped 7 lbs. It's weird how it works & everybody is a little different. Don't sweat the short view, just focus on the long term.

I get called skinny sometimes & I personally just hate that word. To me, skinny is frail & unhealthy & weak. I am not now, nor do I EVER desire to be, skinny. Healthy? Yes. Strong? Yes. Curvy? You know it. Skinny? No way, Jose.

Can you be more specific about the discomfort? Is it like gas? Or like pressure on your diaphragm? Throat closing? Stomach cramps? I'm sorry you're struggling. It could be any number of things. At 8 weeks, I think I could eat fairly comfortably, although I did (& still do!) have to be very mindful of not eating too fast or taking too big of bites. Have you talked to your surgeon about this?

I made mashed sweet potatoes with unflavored Protein powder. I would suggest adding Protein Powder to anything like mashed potatoes, which have no protein naturally. I pureed meat a couple of times with some beef or chicken broth, which worked fine. I also ate Greek yogurt & made pudding with protein powder added to it.

I totally agree with GG. In the first 2-4 weeks postop, the body is still recovering from the trauma of surgery & is in healing mode. The 3 week "pause" (I don't like the word stall) is very, very normal & nothing to worry about.

Congratulations!!! That's a wonderful goal to achieve!

I haven't made a weight related New Year's resolution in probably 20 years, but this year is different. My goals for 2014 include being under 200 lbs by my birthday in early May & hitting my initial preliminary goal weight of 180 before my anniversary in September. I'm at 232 right now, and I'm 6 months out so I expect my loss rate to start slowing down somewhat. I think losing 32/33 lbs by May is doable, as is another 20 beyond that by September. Great thread, Rib!

Funny you should post this...just the other day I realized that a woman I know actually believes in creationism. I was so surprised! This is the first person I've ever known (that I realized, anyway) who believes in the concept of creationism. She & her family left their former church because the belief was not embraced by the church or the congregation & they found a church that embraces the concept. Maybe it shouldn't have shocked me, but it did.