sharonintx

@@dwil I don't know that conquer is the right word but I did mostly come to terms with this new life. My children started asking me why I was mad all the time and why did I just watch TV now. So I figured I'd better try to make some changes. The changes came slowly but they did come and in the process I learned that my sanity and self worth was there all along - I had just lost my way and couldn't find it. I didn't go to a Dr or any other professional but looking back it wouldn't have hurt to do so. Your husband will have to see for himself that he's in control of his happiness. It's a hard thing to do. But he can do it and live to tell the story of how miserable he once was. I'm so sorry that you are having to go thru this. I know it sucks. If your husband thinks a professional may help him then by all means do it. Life is too short to fight a ridiculous weight battle and it's sure too short to be depressed and unhappy. Do what you need to do to get past the misery. The sun will keep coming out tomorrow and none of us need to waste a beautiful day. Keep us posted and I'd be happy to talk about all this stuff anytime you want.

From my viewpoint, the onset of depression is normal after the reality sets in that you've just changed your life and habits forever and that you will never eat normally again. We use food as a means to Celebrate, to comfort ourselves, as a social event, and it has been an important part of our lives. Then we have WLS and bang! It's over. Now we have to learn to comfort ourselves and celebrate in other ways because the eating thing is no more. It sucks, we all adjust in our own time and ways, and the inability to use food like we always have causes our deep-set issues to rise to the top. At this point it's sink or swim. You learn to recognize your issues and deal with them or you sink into major depression. Personally, I was depressed, then angry, then realized I better pull it together or I would live the rest of my life as a miserable person. We may never completely conquer our demons but we will learn to see them for what they are. It's hard, it's a long road, and it really bites - but we can do it. And when we emerge from the darkness guess what - we come out as better, happier people.

It took a good while but at this point I can drink certain things very well. Sweet tea, snapple, juice etc. I'm an oddball in that Water just doesn't sit well. Something about changing it to tea or something like that makes it easier to swallow. Don't worry about it too much. As with every other major adjustment, the ability to drink will get easier and level off eventually. Your new way of eating and drinking will become your new normal.

2 years into this thing and I cannot manage carbonation. I few sips is all. I can drink a Coke Slurpee from time to time but it's slow going. The bubbles make me feel too full

Good luck James and don't worry. You'll be just fine:)

I went to a 30 year high school reunion last October. I looked forward to seeing most of the people but my real motivation was to see the 'mean girls'. The ones in jr high and high school that belittled me, called me fat or ugly, and made a point to exclude me from anything that was happening. I had seen their pictures etc on Facebook and I knew that the years had not been kind to them. I figured I would go and we would see what kind of comments they felt like making now. Kind of like a How Do You Like Me Now type of thing. So i get there, the mean girls are there and I find myself talking with them. As much as I wanted to rub it in their faces i just couldn't. They had frumpy hair, were mostly pretty hefty ladies at this point, some had terrible teeth, and they all had a look of defeat in their eyes when they saw me. I couldn't do it. I felt sorry for them because the cute popular girls they used to be had been replaced with old and frumpy. So instead of getting my long anticipated revenge i ended up being the most gracious, friendly, caring person you've ever met. Can you believe it?? All you want is a little satisfaction but no...instead you cannot bring yourself to treat others as they once treated you. Go figure!

Yes I agree that you are a candidate but be sure and take the advice posted on this thread about doing your research. WLS works great and is certainly a method of at least partially winning the weight battle. But it's permanent, it's hard, and the ability to keep your weight down isn't the only concern. Never underestimate the mental and emotional changes associated with any kind of bariatric procedure. It's serious stuff. You can probably win in the weight dept. but you will also have to win the psychological battle. If you choose to have surgery that's great. Study up on the entire process and prepare yourself for ALL the changes you will be dealing with. You can do it and you can win as long as you fully understand and go in with your eyes wide open.

Congratulations! I hope you have an easy surgery and wish you all the success in the world. Keep us updated,

Thanks for sharing that. I enjoyed reading it

Haha! Great post. Sometimes I read through the posts on this site and am amazed at the carrying on, judgmental replies, and "answers" to questions from those who really should just keep quiet. I have never seen more holier than thou attitudes anywhere that are worse than a select few at bariatricpal.com. Personally I think they should lighten up and quit preaching. Get a sense of humor and perhaps not project your misery onto others so often. PS: Really what I wanted to say was Yeah - how about zipping it you know it all mf-ers. But I decided to be halfway polite and post the above response.

It has caused no problem. No uncontrollable munchies.

2 years out, can eat maybe 3/4 cup per meal,about 6 oz. at a time, can drink 20 ounces in 2 hours or so, and I've been tracing calorie intake for a few weeks now and it's usually between 900-1100 calories a day with an occasional 1300. There's no way I could eat 1300 calories everyday. I just can't hold it. In fact I think my sleeve has gotten smaller and I've wondered if anyone else has experienced it.

I can assure you that it isn't the easy way out. Your fiance takes the easy way out by not supporting you any way he can and instead he is dismissive of the effort you are trying to make. You should continue on without any concern for what he has to say and instead you can hope he grows a set.

Perhaps the husband is a big part of the unnecessary weight you are dragging around? No one deserves to be spoken to in that manner. Go ahead and have the surgery. You'll discover that the issues your husband repeatedly brings to your attention will diminish - specifically your weight. And with every pound you continue to lose you'll find that he comes up with new ones to complain about. You don't need to listen to a rude, uncaring hypocrite. My vote is lose both of your issues. The weight AND the husband.

I would just get another kids meal from McDonalds and eat it while I'm reading whatever the rude comments might be.

Beautiful!

I worried it wouldn't work. But don't worry. It works. It'll work for you too.

You may find that you start feeling like a balloon after a few sips. There's no way I could drink very much carbonation at once. I used to love soda but now I given up the idea. Not even worth the effort to try to drink it. Sometimes a Coke Slurpee is pretty good but again, even a small one is too much. But for those few sips I can hold - delicious.

I haven't been here in a good while. I see some familiar names and lots of names that are new. Right before surgery and for several months after this forum was very helpful to me. I freely admit that I did not follow the recommended path after my gastric sleeve. I got some stern commentary from a few members here and I probably deserved it. Overall the members here have good intentions and the advice they give is sound. There will be a few here that remember me - to you I say Hola! Nice to see you all are still around. For the ones that I haven't had the pleasure of seeing before - Hey there. I'm Sharon, I'm in Mesquite TX, and I went to Tijuana in March of 2013. Dr Almanza did my surgery. I have nothing but good things to say about my experience with him and the staff. I've lost 50 pounds. For the past year I have been maintaining that. I didn't really have a goal weight when I started this thing. I was tired of fighting the fat battle and I found a way to make the battle stop. I could lose more weight if I put my mind to it but I'm really pretty happy where I am. I went from a size 18 or 20 to a size 12. In an effort to be brief I'm going to list my main thoughts below and maybe a few of them will be helpful to someone else. Do not underestimate the need for counseling before this type of surgery. In going to Mexico I bypassed all of the preparation that you get in the US. I figured I didn't need it. Haha! It didn't happen that way. I was completely unprepared for the emotional changes. It took over a year for me to start to get a grip on my feelings. It was hard, it sucked, and I wouldn't advise going it alone. I'm doing ok now and I will say that being forced to deal with the issues that made me a fat girl in the first place have made me a stronger person. Like...a lot stronger. I know myself better than I ever did before and truthfully I like me better now after having to fight thru the emotions. But seriously - get the pre-surgery counseling - all of it and take it to heart. Don't be like me and think you don't need it. You do. Would I do it again? I don't know. Probably so. Some days I would give anything to eat a whole hamburger. After you spend your life relating to food in one way then it changes abruptly - well it can be quite frustrating. But you learn to live with it. I do like my results and I like the size of my clothes. I eat anything I want and I don't gain weight. People talk of the sleeve stretching and gaining weight back. This hasn't happened to me. This thing is unforgiving and it doesn't budge. I can actually eat less now than a year ago. I must say that Dr Almanza did a bang up job. The sleeve he gave me is quite sturdy and dependable. When it comes to eating, the sleeve wins every time. Yes the sleeve gave me everything I wanted from it. I asked for it and I got it. I got the results I wanted and my appearance changed permanently. But this is the thing - when you are fatter you are kind of invisible. Lose a lot of weight and suddenly you aren't invisible anymore. Once again I got what I asked for. Well - it makes me very uncomfortable. Sometimes I just want to be invisible again. Not all the time but for the most part I just don't need the extra attention. Just another case of be careful what you ask for. I'm not meaning to be negative. Just saying that a lot of times what we think we want isn't necessarily going to make us happy. Happiness can only come from inside yourself. A lower number on the scales and a slimmer physique will not equate to happiness. Change yourself from the inside first if you want to be happy. These are the most pleasant things you gain from the sleeve from my perspective: I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do it and I'm more proud of myself for making the emotional journey. There will always be those who think weight loss surgery is the easy way out. WRONG. Its the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Self confidence. That elusive thing that we all want more of. Well guess what? I got it. I have confidence in my appearance and somewhere along the way I started to carry myself with confidence. If I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window I am still surprised at the way I look walking along. Sometimes I can't believe that's me. But it is and I like it. Here's the thing: Yes, some of the confidence comes from my outward appearance. But the most of the confidence comes from having emerged alive after the emotional issues were ( mostly) conquered. So see, the confidence was in there the whole time. I just didn't know how to find it. Yours is in there too! Being thinner won't allow it to come out. Only you can do that. I have learned so much about myself. I am a different person than before. Once again, on the inside. I don't care anymore if I'm fat or thin. I always thought that's what defined me as a person. How I looked. What a silly girl I was. My self worth is no longer defined by a number on a scale or by a size on a pair of pants. So there it is. Thanks to those of you that read this. I do hope someone finds something useful in what I've said. But mostly I said it because I needed to for me. 2 years ago I would have never opened up like this. Now I can and I'm not afraid of how I feel. That's what the sleeve did for me. I hope it does something good for you too.

I'm so glad you posted this. I remember vividly thinking that head hunger was ridiculous and that I was in fact starving. People on this forum told me that I wasn't really hungry and I figured they were crazy and how would they know if I were hungry or not. Once again the joke was on me. It was most definitely head hunger. The fact is that I haven't felt hunger in 2 years now. Even when I start thinking its time for me to eat it isn't due to hunger. Its still my head telling me to eat. I would probably jump out of my skin if my stomach were to growl in hunger at this point. The mind is a powerful thing. You are doing great by suspecting that your hunger isn't really what it seems. Hang in there! You'll make it through this just fine.

I was able to do those things within a couple of days although I was tired a lot and kind of slow for a while. But still more than able to do daily chores etc.

I can completely understand. I am 2 years out on this thing and the emotional changes were no fun at all. In fact, I find that there are lots of things I just don't care about anymore. I go to work everyday and do my job but to say I really give a rip deep down would be untrue. This applies to many areas in my life. I won't bore you with the entire list but situations that used to cause me a lot of stress and worry just don't matter anymore. I've had to learn to let it go as a means of self preservation. I just don't have the room emotionally to take on a lot of problems or deal with other people's issues. While I used to try to save the world, now I take care of me and my immediate responsibilities and let the rest go. It's not necessarily a bad thing in some ways. I kind of discovered that I had been taking on too much from outside sources and honestly I'm happier now in not doing so. Yes - of course these issues should have been dealt with pre-surgery. But if they weren't and you are dealing with them now then so be it. As long as you recognize the issue and are aware that you must deal with it then you are halfway through the battle. You got this. Just stay the course.

I can eat rice without a problem. Not a whole lot of it but several bites here and there is fine. Vegetables no issue either. For some reason salad doesn't sit as well as cooked vegetables. Since getting the sleeve I've developed a taste for things I never really liked before. Asparagus is now my favorite. Brussel sprouts etc. I love em. Corn tends to be too filling so I only have a couple of bites. The only thing that ever really expands inside my stomach is soft bread.

I went to Almanza in March 2013. He did a great job. I had no issues. The staff there was great to me and I felt safe the entire time. Don't expect a lot of frills. I like Almanza very much and would not hesitate to recommend him. In fact, he gave me a sleeve of steel. It doesn't leak, it never stretches, and it still works like brand new. Good luck to you!

2 years out I have lost no hair. I kept waiting for it but it never happened. I've seen some others say they didn't lose hair either. I have no clue why.