Hi there, I have been reading all the stories on this site for some time now & after getting some great advice on here, I feel it's time to tell my story.
We were do I start! I am 35 years, weigh about 93kg & live in Australia. Up to around 8 or 9 years of age I lived a very healthy lifestyle of Water skiing on weekends with my family. I don't remember having any over eating problem however I do remember being told I didn't eat enough. At around 9 my parents separated & that's where the over eating began.
I have suffered with weight problem ever since. Although I know how my problem started & accept that, how does one break life long habits when they can never avoid the drug (food). I have been anorexic, bulimic, binger & now just over eating sloth. I smoked when i was younger & had no problem cold turkey to give up. I don't have any other strong holds in my life so "why can't I beat this".
Well I have tried every diet (as most of us on this site have) and I have had success loosing up to 25kg only to regain the weight again & again. I think I'm a strong person & I put everything in to what every project I'm doing but I just feel like such a failure when it comes to weight loss. Why is it so hard to stay slim! Last time I lost weight I said that's it never again!! I threw out all my fat clothes ( really regretting that now I have nothing to wear lol)
I even went as far as to enroll myself in a fitness course. I spent 1 year full time studying fitness & nutrition once again I lost weight about 10kg & got a job as a fitness instructor (to my amazement) I was teaching les mills classes at around 85kg the weight was too much on my back & I was still eating more & more the stress became to much & I stopped. Since then I have gone back into a downwards spiral I'm still working in a gym but as a receptionist and i know everyone is noticing the weight gain. The more I'm there the worse I feel with the continued feelings of failure.
Well that's where I am now. I feel I can't be on this merry-go-round any longer. Ive stopped solialising, caring for myself & I'm just a shell. I remember one small time in my life where I loved myself I was slim wore pretty clothes & loved the way it felt "I was slim"!
My super has been released & I now have to take the big leap to book the surgery. I hope this tool will help me towards releasing my from my life long battle.
Thanks for reading & would love to hear back from you.
Your friend and colleague in the battle of the bulge