Lawrence Washington

word.. powerful convo... and look.. where there is some truth to what tlah has said... or at least its what I was saying to myself when i ate that half a small corn muffin today on day 2 of my pre op/// the truth is.. we cant truly be expected to go from eating regularly, and really i notice from these 2 days that I eat far more regularly than normal by watching the cravings i been having... but we cant be expected to just stop eating totally... Now, with that said i will not say that I wont cheat at all... But will I have a meal, NO!... may I take a bite or a spoonful of something i feed my kids from time to time.. PROBABLY!!!! It is what it is!!!!

Sitting here at work, getting off at midnight and I just realized that Im obsessing.... Im obsessing about my last appointment which is my pre-admission surgical testing... Ive come so far... Im one of those guys who is terrified of doctors and appointments and over the past 6 to 7 months I have been in and out of doctors offices and i have had many test and i have been afraid and i moved through the fear and I did it anyway... And every time i did i felt stronger, until the next visit, next test... But Im here now... My last one... then my life changes and I get to change the lives of the people around me... I get to release a whole lifetime of fear... knowing that im healthy... Its such a refreshing feeling to have come this far and I cant wait until May 6th pre admission testing so i can have one thing on my mind... May 17th... My surgery date... Im sooo blessed and it will be alright!!! I think today is the day that my emotions are starting to kick in.. Its feeling sooo real... It is... OK>.. i just vented!!! LOL

Nervous... Not nervous about the surgery yet... Just dont want to be told that there is something wrong and cannot get the surgery... 2 years ago i told my doctor I wanted to get a full heart work up because of my anxiety and panic attacks i was having... I was happy to find out that there were no issues.... Now I have to do a ekg and a chest xray... I have no idea what they are looking for... I hope all is well... I feel good.... I looked at a ekg my primary did in February which he told me was fine... no problems but i see it sayd possible left atrial enlargement WTF? Non specific T wave abnormailty WTF? Prolonged QT WTF? and Abnormal ECG... WTF!!! why would he say it was fine... and all.. if it says all of that... Im just tripping myself out... Ive felt great since my last appointments and my approval... Im just ready to do it... Im hoping all this abnormalty is simply because of my anxiety... OMG... I gotta pull it together!!

yeah... Im worried about the pain also, especially since everytime i see a post like this it is never responded to by men... Its always women... so i wonder do men have pain??? Im sure they do, u know women are way stronger when it comes to this... but hey... I wont dwell on the pain because im gonna be so happy to be done so it wont matter.. also.. I have 9 year old triplets and a 5 year old who i take to school and pick up every day.....

May 17th here... 332 llbs now... will probably be about 320 on surgery date and hope to get to 180... Excited and yes its right around the corner... I start my liquid diet on the 3rd... so, im having food funerals... YUP!

my surgery is the 17th and i start my liquid diet on the 3rd..... Im soo excited also... ready!!!! We went through a lot to get here... I dont know about you but my entire journey from the 1st visit has been an anxiety riden adventure... After being wheeled into what looked like an operating room at the hospital for my egd i woke up and realized that I had been given a chance to see what it would be like (minus the pain)... I remember the song that was playing when i was wheeled into the room... It was "Let it be,Let it be, let it be... let it be... whistful words of wisdom let it be... and I decided from that moment to let go and just let it be... we are blessed and I will see you all on the other side.. I will try to come back to this post and post something after my surgery - 3 days before you all... GB

im sooo glad i saw this here and not on my stomach during my surgery which is coming up... Now if i do get this... I will know.. thanks!

Just got a call from my insurance company.... I just got APPROVED.... May 17th here i come....

congrats... me too.... they called me today... Surgery date May 17th

OK May Family, My paperwork has been submitted to my insurance with a May 17th date... Im super excited and i wont say im not nervous because my last 2 weeks of anxiety tells me different... But I am READY!!! Highest weight: 344 current weight: 338 Goal: no highblood pressure/no cholesterol/no diabetes/ xl shirt, LOL!

My surgeons office just submitted my paperwork for May 17th... what a coincidence... I just came on here to post the news that I was just submitted and am now just waiting for approval.... Congrats to you... Hopefully I will be going in on the same day...

i am having my egd tomorrow... and i am nervous... did you have any symptoms of this????

i suspect that this will be me also... However, I want someone to tell me to stop... I want someone to tell me that I did this... I made this happen... Ive taken this ride to complete this... I want someone to ask me "What are you getting out of being scared right now?" I want someone to say "No matter what I say right now, it wont make you feel better because you are choosing to not feel better" What I want to say to you is this... Choose to feel better and know that you have gotten where you are on purpose and its up to you to choose Life from here on... as we continue through this journey we are choosing life... because we matter and we know it... we have chosen the opposite for a long time... and finally we got it... so, go get it!!!! Your there... I cant wait for someone to tell me all of this... and then I cant wait to do it despite the fear of the day before...

This wed will be my final appointment before paperwork is submitted. Though i am worried about results of my egd (though i have no symptoms) i do have a sense of calm....

Im a may sleever.... Hopefully. My surgeon gave me a tentative date of may 10th. As long as my egd goes well im in. Fingers crossed. .. As of now ive been having the protein shakes for breakfast and lunch and then a sensible(sometimes) dinner..... Lol. Im also trying to implement some excersizing in....my excuse is i dont have the time.... my highest weight was 344. Now 330..... Goal is under 200.

Have my eval today at 1pm... Hope all goes well... Though, I know im not crazy, but human and nervous... LOL... anyway. Wish me luck... After this all I have left to do is my egd which is also freakin me out because though I have no symptoms of any problems in that area, me reading through all the forums here found some that ended up not being able to have surgery because of major issues in their EGD that had no symptoms... OMG!!!! freaking out... anyway... Im thinking positive... Wish me all the luck, as i do all of you>>>!!

Great. Easy...... She asked me about my diet... About my background.... growing up... any past with mental health. my medicines, health... I have had anxiety/panic attacks ... But that didn't seem like it was a negative being that my anxiety is about my health... I beleive that i will get an easy pass....

I am my own enemy in my mind when it comes to a lot of this... Now Im not at the point where i have a definite date yet because I still have to "get through" a psych eval today and a EGD next wed., and I say "get through" because though at this point i am not worried so much about the process of those 2 test, I am scared half to death of the result... especially the EGD... I just want all to be well so I can get a definite date... Then, I keep telling myself this... and you may not want to hear this part, but worst case scenario if I dont make it, I wont know!!!! i will only know before that I was doing something to change my life for the better... hope that helps...

yeah... Im trippin a little about that... i was doing the 6 month consecutive visits with my pcp and was told now that my insurance only requires 4 months now... so paperwork will be submitted early... I have my psych appointment on friday.. and my upper GI wed. next week,.... after that... paperwork will be going in... so i hope those go well... congrats to you though

With Blind faith and trepidation... I find myself, like many others im sure feeling a sense of trepidation (feelings of fear about something that may happen), but I also have Blind Faith(belief without full understanding) about it.... It's one of those situations that is similar to many of life's obstacles... Or as Randy Pausch would say about Brick Walls... "The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough" ... I find myself in front of a brick wall... and Im in the role of a lifetime as a master climber... I decided long ago that I was important and worthy and that I was going to live, but I had never decided that I needed help. I went on with a "One Day..." attitude... and each day became just that... "One Day..." I couldnt see the forest for the trees.... I was afixed on the problem, defeated, but beleiving I was trying, believing I was able to win -alone...... I am 4 months into the process of seeing my PCP for 6 months before surgery and I was recently told that I no longer need 6 months, 4 months is what my insurance now requires... So this week i have my psych evaluation scheduled, and next week i have my upper GI and final PCP appointment... Then i can send over the papers to my surgeon-get a surgery date-and then they will submit the paperwork to my insurance-and BOOM!!! I did it.. With Blind Faith and Trepidation... I started this process by saying "Im going to do it this time"... because i said I was going to do it before in the past.. and never did... But Im doing it now and Im right there... almost... I will be having my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy in May of 2013... Me, the guy who has never had a stitch in his entire life... The guy with anxiety and fear, the guy who didnt have faith in anything because he didnt have faith in himself..... My life is about to change drastically and I can feel it... I have already begun to choose differently. I am currently having GNC total lean shakes for Breakfast and lunch in an attempt to prepare myself for the 2 week pre op diet, and Im already seeing and feeling the results... My shirts feel better, my pants are looser... and I feel good about taking this step... OK guys and gals, Fellow pre-sleevers... Consider This as my introduction.... With Blind Faith and trepidation.

All That is supposed to happen will!!!! I have lived by this for quite some time... I Pray that all that should happen will for you!!!!

Thanks for the warm welcome... New details to come soon... Im looking at May 10th as my date. Just got that info from my surgeons office... If all goes well with My psych and my upper GI, Im there... Yayyyyy!!!!