BuriedBombshell

Well, as one of the earliest people to have joined this forum on this thread, I'm guessing I am lumped into being one of the "vets" attacking the "newbies", and you would be correct. I will take ownership of that.
Sorry ... it is just my opinion that some newbies just post some of the most remarkable things. This thread being a perfect example.
That is not true. She straight out says if you do not tell people you had the surgery, then you are a liar. I really take exception to that.
I don't think people should be bullied into doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. Most morbidly obese people have been bullied in their lives and to be told they are handling their personal lives incorrectly is just wrong.
Here is one of my greatest fears when people post something like this. Someone who has been researching WLS reads a thread like this. They have been shamed by their obesity their entire life. They have circumstances in their life which make them feel uncomfortable sharing this decision with others and now they are being shamed for not telling people. This all compounds to the point where they decide they would rather live with the shame of being overweight than live with the shame this thread implies by having WLS.
I just find threads like this very irresponsible. I would think the last place I would be shamed about my WLS is a WLS support forum. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I would love to see this whole thread deleted. What would the new person researching WLS think ...

I will never understand why people are so concerned with who other people are telling about this surgery. I mean, who gives a hoot? If you want to tell people, great! If you don't, who cares?!? Why are they being called a liar? If you had surgery to fix your hemorrhoids, would you tell everyone? Good for you!

No and I'm sorry you read it as if we're being harsh, but like I said, she plainly stated she doesn't understand why some choose not to tell others. (well, ok.. She actually called us liars) but ... oh well. So we told her why, but she apparently doesn't like our answer so we try to keep explaining so that perhaps she can comprehend the reason some of us, (including her "friend"), prefer to keep our WLS to our selves.
It's quite simple

You are such a good friend that you tell her she is lying (as how most of us spell it) and you want her to do it your way when clearly she wants to keep it private? Wow. Just wow.
If that's what you crazy kids are calling it these days.

They may think it but they don't know for sure. Unless someone tells them. But really, why do you care one single bit about these people? Sounds like they just want to "get the dirt" so they can say they are right. Why give that kind of gossip the time of day?
Just wondering.

I don't know how I'm gonna handle this as I'm only 12 days out. I really REALLY don't want my in laws knowing and thy know a lot of people so of I tell anyone it's gonna get back to them. Basically I'm not a big small talker and I don't feel like answering a billion and one questions about it umpteen times to people I dont even know.

We need a separate forum just for this topic, also 3 week stall ( or any stall ) and if I put a big Mac in the blender is that purée food questions. I am amazed that it's gone 50+ posts and nobody has been called a nazi yet, when did it get so ok to toss that term around ? Anyway sorry to interrupt, please continue "supporting" one another !

Some of us have really ugly, judgmental people in our lives.
This topic has been sort of rehashed to death and I have explained this before but I don't mind telling it again because there may be new people trying to decide what to do and this is the thread they find first.
I had a lapband back when they were all the rage before it came out that lap band patients do no better statistically than weight watchers people. It was great at first, lost about 45 pounds and got down to about a size 14ish. Then all the struggles came. Later on I found out that I had suffered a slip, but they did not discover that for years. I lived with throwing up constantly, eating to make up for it, eating all the things WLS patients shouldn't have because they were the only things that wouldn't make me PUKE. Long story short, gained all the weight back, plus a little for good measure.
Most people didn't see the sickness, they just saw the weight creeping back. It was aweful, I was in so much pain and people are cruel. It's easy to say you don't give a flying youknowwhat when everything is going great because the weight loss is its own reward but when the stuff hits the fan, and you NEED support and people are talking about you when your not in the room.... It's not so easy anymore, and unfortunately, thats when it really matters.
I don't try to talk people out of telling people, because its a personal thing, but being a bariatric patient of 6 years.... my perspective is different. If you have nothing but smooth sailing its one thing, but if you don't and you have told everyone, hang onto your hats because you'll be in for a lesson in how people REALLY are.

If you start out heavy enough you can easily lose 30 pounds in a month just by dieting. I lost 35 in the first month of my six month pre-op diet. I started out at 484 pounds. After six months of sensible eating (no sweets, very liitle carbs) I lost 112 pounds. The first month I was losing a pound a day, the second and third month five pounds a week, then four, then three pounds a week by month six. Then I went on my two-week peo-op liquid diet and lost a pound a day again Two weeks out of surgery, I am currently losing at the rate of six pounds a week. I'm down to 340 - 144 pounds lost so far!

So ... you are concerned about what another person says and thinks about someone who has had a surgery and has chosen to keep the details private?
And even though they divulged they have changed their diet and exercise more, you are still calling them a lier ... right?
I hope one day you can find it in your heart to be more supportive of your fellow WLS folks. You traveled your journey and they have traveled theirs. I have been judged my entire life regarding my weight and my ability/inability to control it. Now that I have done something about it, I am still being judged.
Talk about the definition of not winning for losing ... I can't even do that right ...
Is that what you are saying? Thanks for the support, BTW ...
How about you keep your side of the street clean and I'll worry about mine?
Deal?

And people.. Please stop insinuating that we are embarrassed, selfish, ashamed or worse.. We don't have close friends!?! Seriously? ... Really?!?
My WLS does not dominate my daily life. I am (we) are not LYING about anything and not telling others is not selfish, fact, (sorry if i step on toes or egos) I think it's more self centered to think everyone wants to know all about you and your WLS.
I agree, PdxMan.. the topic is well covered.

Wow ... this topic ... again ...
Outside of the 3rd week stall thread, this has to be one of the most oft discussed thing here. HERE is the last one if anyone cares to read some history.
I don't understand why people, both sleeved and those not sleeved, can't understand why this is a personal decision and if I choose to keep it personal, that is my choice.
Please respect that.
I don't directly lie to people about it, telling people I do Water aerobics or something, but for the most part, I tell them I have decreased my portion sizes and exercise more. All of which is true. I started out having a similar attitude as the OP, but after being knocked down a couple times, I was like, "What business is it of theirs anyway?"
If I noticed a woman's bust line being different, would I ask them if they had a reduction or enhancement?
Why am I obligated to divulge my life?
As I have posted on this topic numerous times, I will copy and paste my theory on this:

It's like we are supposed to have some obligation to society about our lives. As I explained in another thread along this very topic, I:
Didn't tell anyone I was having a vasectomy to help me control my family size


Didn't tell anyone I had lasik surgery to help me control my eyesight


Didn't tell anyone I had hemorrhoidectomy to help my ... well, ya know ...


Why do I have to tell them my life story? This is my life, gosh darn it!

I don't tell because I don't feel it's any of their business to know anything about my personal life. I think most people around me only want to know things about "how you're feeling" or "what the kids are up to" just to have something to talk about or gossip about later.
However, if I hear someone talking about getting WLS and I think my experience will help them, privately, I pull them aside and let them know I've had it and that they can ask me anything that will help them decide if it's right for them.

My Ninja works REALLY well, and was a fraction of the price.

Can't wait not having to think "Am I going to be able to fit on this ride" while standing in line to get on a rollercoaster. Torture...LOL