Carlene

Have you given birth? Not one shred of dignity left after that. Not only are you spread-eagled in the stirrups, but when you "push" it isn't at all unusual to poop at the same time - right there on the table. And two of my kids were born at a teaching hospital, which means interns and residents all lined up at the end of the table - looking REALLY young. Like just out of high school young. Very disconcerting.

I have read that women who BREASTFEED have a lower incidence of breast cancer, but did not realize it extended to all women who have given birth. The only woman in my family to have breast cancer was a great aunt who never had children. Might be something to it.

I conditioned my boys early. I made them go to the store and buy tampons for their younger sister. Now, thanks to my early training, they have absolutely no problem going out for tampons/pads for their wives. My daughters-in-law appreciate that. I also "taught" my husband to buy the right ones for me, when I still used them (I had a hysterectomy at 33).

This is true. Furthermore, the earlier a girl becomes sexually active, the greater her chances of developing cervical cancer.

I think Atheists don't "fear the loss of heaven and the pains of hell" (a quote from the old school Act of Contrition) for the same reason that I don't fear being abducted by aliens - they don't believe God exists - or heaven, or hell.

You are so right, Ron. The last words my late husband heard were mine. The nurses had been telling me that I needed to give him permission to "go". They urged me to talk to him. They said hearing is the last sense we lose before death. So I told him, "You don't have to stay for me. I'll be alright. I love you and I will see you again." He took one long breath and let it out, like a sigh of relief, and then he was gone.

I didn't say that's WHY I believe, just that the consequences of not believing are potentially much worse.

What's that expression again? Oh, yeah..... WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trust me, I try. When DH brings it up, I make the vaguest of responses. Or I just look at him - with a blank stare. The pictures in my e-mail's Inbox set me off, though. I have to admit that I RAVED about that one. It was, to me, a HUGE intrusion.

Lisa....I understand what you're saying, but WHY would I care whether he's happy or not? An affair often makes the guilty parties "happy". Otherwise, I doubt they'd do it. Does that make it okay? DH mentioned that to me several times ("Mr P is HAPPY"..."All I want is for Mr P to be HAPPY; he's my friend")I pointed out to him that maybe he (DH)should have been less hostile when he found out his ex was cheating, since screwing the youth director at church evidently made her "happy". He said it wasn't the same thing, but he hasn't told me again how "happy" Mr. P is, either.

Thank you....a fact I pointed out to my DH, and that's what started the latest argument. He said to "leave it alone". I said I WAS leaving it alone....I have not had any e-mail correspondence with Mr. P since the day after he sent his wife away and he wrote, in part," I have L****** in my life now". If I were true to my gut instinct, I would write this jerk back and say, "What in the name of God makes you think I would want to see pictures of you snuggling up to your mistress? Throw your nasty affair in someone else's face and leave me the hell alone." Unfortunately, this would cause major domestic problems for me. When Mr P e-mails my DH, he signs the messages "your asshole buddy", or "your friend the asshole". I truly think he is trying to goad DH into taking some kind of stand. Not only does misery love company, but evidently infidelity craves validation.

Has anyone wondered why I even know about these things? I have a friend who is a Martha Stewart clone. She even had a brief but illustrious second career as a caterer. And she actually owns one of the machines that uses Whippits (your local Starbucks has them, too). My friend's niece, now an assistant DA in the Texas Hill Country, clued us into the dark side of Whippits. I asked her if she was speaking from professional or personal experience, but she just gave me one of those looks - like "how rude of you to ask".

Virtually every state in the US does require vaccinations in order for a child to attend public school. You can opt out only if you request a special form from the state, fill it out, have it notarized, and return it to the school. It's good for two years, then you have to do it all over again. Our state requires DPT, Polio, MMR (Measels, Mumps, Rubella), Hepatitis A and B, and Varicella (Chickenpox).

Uhhhhh....it wasn't the barfing kind of tight that I was referring to.

Stress makes my band tighten up worse than a virgin on Prom night.

At the end of the day, it still boils down to this... the Atheists are betting that there is no God, no heaven, and no hell. The rest of us are hedging our bets, at worst. If the Atheists are right, nothing bad happens. If we're right, all you non-believers are gonna be asking us for ice water.

Want to hear my circumcision story? I have 3 sons, all circumcised, as was their father. So once they were past the newborn stage and the insult to their little baby willies was all healed, I never thought much about it. Until one Sunday evening. My younger sons (about 10 and 12 years old) were watching a movie on cable and part of the story included a Jewish circumcision ceremony. Son #3 came into the kitchen, where I was cooking dinner, all wide-eyed and said, "Mom, you won't believe what just happened in this movie. A priest cut the end of a baby's penis off with a sword!" I knew immediately, of course, what he was talking about, and I explained that it was part of the Jewish faith and it wasn't a priest - they are called Rabbis - and he didn't cut off part of the baby's penis - just some skin that covers the end of a newborn boy's member. "There's something else you should know," I admitted. "It isn't only Jewish people who circumcise their little boys. Christian people do it, too. Only it's done in the hospital, by the doctor." "Do Catholics do it?" asked Kelly, suddenly suspicious. "Yes, they do" I told him, "You were circumcised the day you were born, and so were your brothers." Without a word, the kid ran back into the den shouting, "Patrick, guess what? That priest was a Jewish guy and he just cut off the skin on the end of that baby's penis and the doctor cut mine off and yours and Tommy's, too." His brother literally rolled on the floor, laughing. "Boy," he said, "You are such an idiot. Mom was joking and you fell for it." I could hear him all the way in the kitchen. "Patrick," I yelled, "come here. There's something I need to tell you." I could not believe that it had never occurred to me to talk to them about circumcision. We had talked about everything else, but somehow that one slipped by under the radar. So if you have boys, you might want to mention it real casually sometime.

I agree with your DH. Those things are HUGE. The average person could use them as shelter.

Almost positive??? You can bet money on it. Think back....did YOU tell your parents "everything"? My kids are all grownups now (thank God) and have Enlightened me a LOT as to just how much stuff I didn't know at the time. I was amazed! I knew there had to be some things I didn't know about, but I had NO IDEA there was so much! And I had a very open relationship with my kids. I was the cool mom....the mom everyone wished they had. My DH is over 60 and there are STILL things his mom doesn't know about! His brother's wife was pregnant when they got married 30+ years ago and my MIL just found it out last year. Hard to believe, but in all that time, she had never bothered to do the math.

BOH....you are too funny. I vote for sex first, then the nap. PS....how do you know when you've gone thru menopause, if you had your uterus removed years ago? I've never had hot flashes....are there other symptoms? Do you just assume, once you reach a certain age, that you are post-menopausal?

You and me both, Leatha. The first time I spent the night in my mother's house as a married woman - in my virginal baby blue bedroom, no less - my husband wanted to have sex and I recoiled as if he had suggested we copulate on the courthouse lawn at high noon. Flash forward about 12 years....same scenario (same childhood home), different husband. My bed - the bed we were sleeping in - had a bookcase headboard. And little sliding doors....with brass, kind of horseshoe-shaped doo-dads that served as handles to open and close the doors. I had slept in that bed for YEARS without realizing that any significant amount of movement would cause those little brass doo-dads to bang sharply against the headboard. My husband was not one to give up easily. He somehow managed to hold both doo-dads still for....well, however long it took. Any time after that, whenever we spent the night at my mom's, it was either no sex or figure out some way to shut those damn doo-dads up. We tried tying washcloths around them, sticking them in place with masking tape - we even took them completely off once and put them back on the next morning. But we forgot and left the pliers in the bedroom, which led to an uncomfortable question and answer session with my mother. Years later, after my mother died, we were moving that same bed from her house to my guest room. As we carried the headboard upstairs, my husband mumbled, "I hate this bed." "What's wrong with it?" asked one of the two sons helping us. I laughed so hard, I almost fell down the stairs.

Puddin... Virginity and virtue are not the same thing. You may have lost the one, but as long as you live a virtuous life, you will still have the other. And the man who is someday lucky enough to marry you will not care about one youthful mistake. This was just one of those frogs you have to kiss on the way to finding your prince.

You're right! I met my husband in a church singles group for over 40 people!

Even science, with its "logical" approach to so-called facts, is sometimes wrong. After all these years, we were informed recently that Pluto isn't a planet, after all. Imagine that! Even when something has been scientifically "proven", it's still subject to being unproven at a later date. So much for the reliability of science.

And the mere fact that you don't believe in it doesn't mean it can't exist. Neither does the fact that it can't be proven to your satisfaction. For centuries, no one could prove that the world wasn't flat, thus most everyone believed it was. Not only that, but it WAS a logical concept. After all, it LOOKS flat.