moonlitestarbrite

i am glad you are having an endo. i hope you get some answers. give it a bit of time too. i had complications due to scar tissue in my belly. i was miserable. but after some tests and rehydration, the surgeon encouraged patience. and he was right! some people need extra time to heal.

its easy to focus on other people as a way to distract yourself from making your own required changes. my MIL spent years telling me she would clean up her diet after she retired. now that she is retired, she keeps telling me that she cant eat healthy because her boyfriend has to keep crap in the house. as long as she keeps focusing on things outside herself, she's never going to take responsibility for making her own changes. the fact is, there are always opportunities for me to make bad decisions regarding eating. ALWAYS. we had pizza in the house this weekend. when i choose to eat it, i had 2 small pieces and STOPPED eating when i started to feel full. i could have made a different decision. every time i put food in my mouth i am making a choice. as long as i plan ahead on HOW to make good decisions i will be okay. i am not perfect. but 90% of the time i do. i do this by thinking ahead and preplanning. and realizing, no one else needs to make certain choices in order for me to do this. just me.

which is why insurance companies require people jump through certain hoops before they have surgery.

unfortunately, i was told that lack of family support was the number one factor in regain. they suggest bring family members to the informational sessions and nutrition appts. however, you cant change anyone else, so i think its really important to come up with a written plan on how you will cope with triggers when there is crap in your home. on thing i noticed last fall, we had halloween candy in the house and my H and i got into a really intense fight and the first thing i did was go right for the candy... without thinking. so its good to learn to identify your triggers and come up with a way to cope with them without eating. its also good to come up with a written plan of action if you are a person who is tempted by having junky food around. if you plan ahead, you can cope. if you leave it up to chance, you will likely regret it at some point.

my H is a former soda addict. he discovered that he went back to soda drinking about 8-10 weeks after stopping each time. this time he toughed it out... resisted the craving, and after about 2-3 weeks the craving went away finally. now its been about 6 months. he still craves it when really tired, but doesnt want to start over again.

start googling ideas for soothing yourself without food. music, deep breathing, walks in nature, painting, dancing, making videos, reading, baths..... there are a million and one ways to soothe yourself, start looking for and practicing them. you might as well deal with it now, its even more dramatic after the surgery. i found a bunch of "binaural beats" (music that induces a relaxation state in the brain) apps on itunes. sleep stream 2 is my favorite so far. my 22 year old cat died less than 3 weeks after my surgery. i realized that night i had to learn to cope with my feelings with put food, it was a very intense few days. things are better in a year, but i still feel compelled to soothe myself with food, even though i cant. its all a process.

i cannot tolerate a lot of fruit. its too much sugar for me. but i didnt tolerate the Protein powders either. so i mixed milk and plain fage greek yogurt with a tablespoon honey or maple syrup... and sometimes cocoa powder. this gave me plenty of protein and i was able to tolerate just fine.

there is a thread with links to lots of post op diets. i know i wasnt given the handout for the next stage of eating until i was cleared to start it. but all my handouts are on my hospitals website.

i am amazed by the number of people to say they dont want to "bother" their doctor's office by calling. but really i think what is going on is a lot people dont follow through with what they are supposed to be doing, and so dont follow up, cause they dont want to admit they arent doing what they should be.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/mike/view/myfitnesspal-tip-customizing-your-nutrition-goals-559060

its different for everyone. you will need to decide for yourself what the best way is for you to stay on track.

i think most docs do a basic job of informing patients.. the more informed, the better the outcome. but not all docs track outcome. which is why some insurances require surgery in a center of excellence. ( where they track for at least 3 years) surgeons, as a group, are notoriously bad at relationships with patients. its really up to the patient. no matter what type of treatment you are getting. if you choose to be poorly informed, your outcome will not be as good as someone who is informed. its all about personal responsibility. maybe something a lot of us obese people arent to good at.

i am surprised that if you need bypass that the doc will let you get knee surgery first. usually they want you to lose weight first, then get the knee surgery. your recovery from knee surgery will be really tough without losing weight. best of luck to you.

i will attest that there are many people out there who receive lots of medical instruction and still claim that have no idea what they should be doing. i can tell you that lots of people never even look at the discharge paperwork they are given. there are lots of reasons for this. my MIL is one example of a person who has so much anxiety all the time, she doesnt really hear what other people tell her. esp doctors or medical people. then we have my FIL and my mom who hear, but dont care and disregard what the doctors tell them.... there are people who arent able to read their instructions, people who dont process verbal instructions, people who think doctors are full of shit, people who think they know better than doctors. i have a friend who gets rid of every doctor that doesnt agree with her. then takes her meds, not as prescribed, but as she thinks she should take them. i'm like, why do have a doctor? just order your meds from mexico! (she's a book keeper not in the medical field) there are some people who get little preparation, esp private pay people, but there is tons of info online, all you have to do is a little research, but some people need/want to be told what to do... and not take responsibility for themselves, ever. surgery isnt going to change that.

seems totally normal to me!

lizv, i am sorry you have such regrets. 6-7 years ago my mom ( who was almost 80 at the time) was ill advised to have a complete hysterectomy when she only needed one ovary removed for a cyst. she had tickets to go to europe with good friends and wanted to resolve the problems caused by the cyst and go on her trip. i suggested she rethink the surgery. i knew the recovery from the surgery was longer than her surgeon was telling her. she went ahead with it and seriously regretted it. she trusted the docs and they let her down. and really, she's never recovered 100% from the experience. she now has a fistula that can not be repaired, and is having other internal issues. it is scary and overwhelming to have doctors say one thing and have something else entirely happen. its hard to cope with knowing you made the wrong decision for your body. i know my mom kicks herself about it all the time. i try to tell her there was no way for her to know what might have happened. i hope things will get better for you! be gentle with yourself.

i would say it makes it *much* easier to be successful, since wls has about an 80% success rate at 3 years and diets have 2-3% (??) success rate long term. i'll take the 80% success rate thanks.

i am a foodie and i do personal cheffing. honestly, i am way less focused on food now a year post op. i still love to eat and feed other people, but i just dont care as much about food as i used to. when i spend time with people, i focus on them. i look for things other than eating to do as socializing now. i still like to have people over and feed them, but its just not as big a deal for me as it used to be with the food.

hang in there. take all the time you need to decide about a revision. just focus on trying to take care of yourself as best you can.

again i would say, its not the surgery per se that causes it, no one i have known who broke up after surgery had a good marriage/relationship to begin with.

i think it most likely has to do with multiple factors... people who dont follow post op plans, stomach emptying faster due to liquid in there and getting hungry faster, being able to fit more in the stomach due to the lubrication of the fluids and gradual stretching of the sleeve... i believe my nut was discussing what she has seen in people who have regained or returned to the hospital for help.

guessing not a lot research has been done, since you would need to do both pre and post testing. point is, its life changing surgery for most people, and that is always assoc. with divorce too. its not about the surgery, its about the relationship and how we change.

from what i have personally seen, many obese women settle for partners because they have such low self esteem. when they feel better about themselves, they want to find more suitable partners. i have one friend who left her critical, slovenly, socially inept H, and is now with an amazing guy who worships her. he had a crush on her before her surgery, but she was stuck with with her H.

if i knew what?

whole goods are the way to go, fake foods are not only full of crap your body cant digest, but the research suggests that fooling your body with sugar free and fat free foods actually lead to weight gain.