moonlitestarbrite

she is a very disturbed woman. you need to stop reading things she writes. you need to make a promise to yourself that you are letting her go 100%. that you will not look up things she writes online, you will not think about her, that you will move on so you can start a new life that is positive and healthy. walk away, move on, let her go. pursuing her will only bring you pain. you deserve better. cut her loose in your head and give yourself a loving break.

good for you! my cat of 22 years died about 3 weeks after my surgery and i wasnt prepared to deal with that without food. it was a rough time.

actually nutrients from food are absorbed in the small intestines. there are macro nutrients and micro nutrients. both are absorbed by the vili in the small intestines. the stomach's job is to start the digestion process... digestion breaks food down into the nutrients to be absorbed.

this mixes with the food in your stomach, causing it to liquify and empty out of your stomach much faster. leading to feeling full for a shorter length of time. if you want to maximize your feeling of fullness, wait 45 minutes after eating to drink. i have learned to drink before i eat. wait 15 minutes, then eat. your stomach should empty of liquid in 15 min. 11 months post op, its not a problem anymore, though i struggled a lot in the beginning.

i feel the same as lipsticklady. i had 3 friends who had bypass... a 50 something year old friend, a 29 year old friend with 4 kids and an old boyfriend who is in his late 40s (like me). they all have had excellence results and are very glad they had the surgery. so i asked myself... what risk was i willing to take? after working with my doc for 3 years, all i managed to do was gain 15 pounds and my blood pressure was dangerously high. my father died young from a heart attack (he was fat with high blood pressure). 3 years ago my 48 year old cousin dropped dead in front of me from a heart attack. i needed to do something. when i read about the vsg, i knew it was the choice for me. (2 of my friends have issues with anemia). bottom line, what did i have to look forward to with being fat and sick? was it a bigger or smaller risk than this surgery? i would not discuss this with family members or friends. i would talk with your doctor about it. my doctors were both very supportive and my surgeon was very upfront about possible complications, side effects and how my life would need to change after surgery. i felt fairly well prepared.

feel free to PM me! happy to support you. btw, at 11 months PO, i no longer miss food or stuffing myself. it was a huge adjustment, but i no longer feel sad.

try raw vegetables. lots of chewing there.

no, someone named "infected scab" submitted a screen shot of the blog post because its so ridiculous! did you read the comments?

i think you should consider a formal complaint against this doctor for misleading you. he did not follow informed consent laws. that is against the law and bad medicine. the hospital at least should know what he is doing because he is going to get sued, and them too. what he did was wrong and others should know what he is doing.

its scary, but scarier to remain obese (for me). i knew i was facing an early death if i didnt do something drastic very quickly. everyone here, who wants to be successful, has to change how he or she eats. very dramatically. those who are able to stick with the changes long term have success. those who dont regain and end up back where they started. its a choice. thats where the big girl panties come in. you get to make your mind up each day if you want to be successful at this or not. my H LOVED his processed carbs and sugar more than life itself. bagels, Cookies, pizza, Pasta, soda pop, candy, donuts, pop tarts, tortillas, burgers on buns... it was all he lived for! ... then after 10 years of doctor visits... specialists, meds, tests, allergy diets, etc... he finally made up his mind that yes, wheat was making him sick and he was going to stop eating it. its been a long struggle over the last year, but he's doing much better and doest miss everything as much as he thought he would. if he can do it, anyone can, cause i never saw anyone so devoted to certain foods... it was like they were his best friends he needed to visit every day! look on amazon, i bet there are some good books there on overcoming pickiness and making dietary changes.

one of the things i was told about Water and meals is... those of us who love to cram as much food in there as possible use liquids to make it possible to fit in more food. its like a shoehorn making more room for the food, and dulling our feeling of being full. the more water we drink, the more food we can shovel in. so the truth probably is, you wont really need water when you eat, since you wont be having any of these food parties. you will be eating much much smaller portions and wont need to shovel food in anymore. i am sorry you didnt realize you would have to give up drinking at meals. i had six months to practice not drinking with my meals before my surgery because its a huge adjustment.

i dont want to be rude regarding your husband.... but how the heck does he have any idea what a therapist would say to you?? what a silly thing for him to tell you. my husband says these kinds of ridiculous things too. he has a bad cut on his leg from the woods.. it looks infected to me. i tell him to call the doctor. "why? what would she do?" finally he has red streaks going up and down his leg... he calls the doc. she waits late at her office for him. nearly sends him to the hospital. asks him why he didnt call when it first started hurting. he says, "i dont know." thats the honest answer!! he didnt know what to do, but somehow that translated to "she cant help me." a lot of people think that about therapy. they have no idea what a therapist might say. not a clue. but somehow that gets turned around to "he/she cant help me." and the fact is, no one knows if therapy will help unless they actually go! and since people take more time choosing clothes than a therapist, it sometimes takes a few tries before you find a good fit. good luck! it does sound like you could use some help adjusting to your new life. finding new ways to cope with life without food isnt easy. but you dont have much choice at this point. you've had the surgery, now you have to figure out how to deal in a whole new way. its all worth it in the long run... but its not an easy road. btw, a lot of people swear by this book, since you have to wait a month to see someone, you might want to pick this up. The Emotional First + Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery.

just like a pregnant woman who is surrounded by people who tell nothing but horror stories to her about birth, you need to kick negative people out of your life and tell them very clearly... "sorry, i will only agree to be around you unless you can be supportive and positive 100% of the time." and then you need to stick to your word. you need positive people around you both pre and post op and you arent anyones doormat. you deserve support and kindness, not judgement and bullsh*t.

. google it.

i would try online meetings before sending a food addict to AA. just speaking from my experience as a former CD counselor. there is a huge recovery community online.

do you have a therapist?

actually my friend told me the other night that my "steadfast support" of her in her journey has meant the world to her and she isn't sure she would have made it as far as she has without it. her last 2 attempts at wls were secret with no support and she feels like that is why she failed. substitute food with alcohol or drugs. would we all be singing the same song? why is it good to express concern, intervene and not enable when it's alcohol or drugs, but not food? one is surely as deadly as the other. maybe more. we know when an addict or alcoholic doesn't get outside help, they will eventually die. the same is true for morbid obesity. knowing this, i wonder why so many of us say we should never ever say anything to anyone about it, ever. is our resistance to outside concern/intervention about privacy? or a desire to continue in our addiction to food? do any of us, deep down, truly want to suffer alone anymore? unflinching self honestly is usually required for true recovery.

my father died very young from being overweight and having high blood pressure and heart disease. if it was someone in my life i loved very much and would be devastated of they died, i would have a serious heart to heart with them . i did this with a friend who my kids love very much and consider their auntie. they would be destroyed if she dropped dead. she is now in the pipeline for wls (this is her 3rd try. the first 2 times she just couldnt do it). i give her as much support as possible, and confront her gently when i see her drifting off course (like drinking with dinner last night). as a former chemical dependency counselor, i believe that all information is acceptable depending on how its presented. but a lot of times, we just dont know how to present it. even though i struggled with my weight my whole life since age 10, it wasnt a serious problem until 1.) i was getting married to a very unhealthy man that i should have been running away from as fast as possible. (i lost the weight after i left him) and 2.) after my son was born and my whole life changed and i was seriously depressed. so for me, its always been a symptom of something really bad going on in my life. in neither of these cases did anyone come to me and tell me they were concerned about me. if they had, it might have made a difference in my life. i dont know. i think it would have depended on what they said. if they focused on my weight, i might not have been open. if they focused on their concern for my wellbeing, i might have been more receptive. having suggestions for something concrete i could do would have been helpful too. not just concern. for me, food and weight has always been a symptom. a very visible symptom. but i havent always had someone in my life that recognized that. and i havent always had anyone in my life that cared enough to risk my possible upset. and for me, thats probably a piece of the larger problem with me and food.

there are a lot of people here who have very disordered relationships with their bodies. surgery doesnt magically change that. surgery can sometimes even make it worse. instead of eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle, many people become obsessed with the scale the same way they were obsessed with food. its very complicated. i have one friend who is getting close to having wls. we were talking the other night and she just wants to have the surgery, lose the weight and never think about it again. being healthy doesnt work like that. but sometimes its just way easier to distract ourselves from mindful living by focusing on other things.

i take konjac root daily (its a type of fiber supplement that doesnt need excess water to work correctly), and i eat oatmeal (usually baked) several times a week. this usually takes care of things.

anyone in (or near) rochester, contact me if you are interested in a support group. (women only, sorry)

are you feeling any better?

you have to put your big girl panties on and eat what you need to to stay to your eating plan. if my husband can learn to live without wheat, just about anyone can learn a new way of eating.

its so great to see all of those who re doing awesome!

my kids and i were sick with a cold starting about 10 days ago. my son was better pretty quick. my daughter was more sick, and it took her longer to feel better... and she complained of stomach pain for at least a week. after i had been sick for about 5 days i started having stomach issues too... queasy, upset stomach when i ate, just feeling icky. i am much better, but am still feeling very tired, headaches and a very touchy stomach. has anyone else experienced this? does having a sleeve instead of a stomach effect the course of a virus? i wish i knew what was going on, its very annoying.