moonlitestarbrite

i had something similar ( but not as bad) after my surgery. I know how totally horrible you feel. so sorry you are going through this. mine got better. i hope yours does too. def go to a regional medical center. sending you good thoughts.

i wish this had a bigger sample size.

sounds like you need to find a more experienced surgeon.

i am guessing you are talking about yourself, right? since there isnt anyway for you to know what anyone else's life is like just from seeing how fat they are. so i assume you must mean yourself.

the stats my center gave at the orientation was 20% at 3 years post op will have regained or not lost more than 65% of their excess weight. keeping 65% of your excess weight off for 3 years is considered a success. they claim a 80% success rate.

if normal means you dont think about it, that isnt going to happen. if by normal you mean not using it as drug to medicate your feelings and stressors, that can happen. you might want to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. i do not have constant nagging in my head wanting to eat or thinking of food. unless i have a ton of stress. if you have it all the time... you probably need to investigate new ways of coping with stress or anxiety. again a therapist can help.

my center says 20% of people regain after this surgery. thats an 80% success rate at 3 years post op. (i dont think they track beyond that, idk) two things; thats a heck of a lot better then the like 2% success rates of diets long term. almost everyone who loses weight on a diet, and that includes large weight loss, gain it back. and, the people on this site are more likely to be regainers... as those who are struggling or need support long term come here and post for help. those who are doing well and dont need support have moved on and dont post here. (for the most part) so dont let the number of people who post here about regain discourage you, if you are compliant with your diet and exercise, you will be successful.

my old doc (who closed her practice in feb and is moving to canada with her family) was totally psyched for me. she was my cheerleader. she told me how awesome i was for taking control of my health and helped me through the really rough first 6 weeks after my surgery. (my surgeon was awesome too) she cheered all of my weight loss, even if it was just 5 pounds. we are still friends on FB and she always gives me kudos for doing what i needed to do to get healthy. but this doc. ugh. where i live is short on family practice doctors. finding someone who was taking patients was hard. i might still look for someone else. but i have a feeling i was totally spoiled.

i dont know what that posted all weird like that... but it's *supposed* to say: this is a great book! LOL The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Brene Brown (Author)

Yea that's a big reason. I'm an emo eater from way back lol And I'm done with that so yea time to put me first for a change.

thank the gods i never had a child with my first husband. **shudder**

good call roo! i agree. i was married to a sociopath for 9 years (i am not using hyperbole here). narcissism and borderline personality disorder are closely related personality disorders. i can spot their manipulations, projections and self focus a mile away. but most people don't understand the whole personality disorder thing. so i usually dont bring it up. but yes, i thought that from the very first paragraph. this website focuses on romantic relationships with sociopaths, but the principals in this little article apply here too. http://www.lovefraud.com/are-you-a-target/leaving-a-sociopath/no-contact/

omg! i hate when that happens! argh. just an aside, that might be one of the big reasons you got fat. eating our feelings is very common for obese people. you need to change that now.

i dont know that that matters much. it is what it is. she will know what is going on after she has a contrast dye test. maybe it was botched, maybe it was stretched. maybe both. hopefully her new surgeon can see her previous records and will understand what happened.

first of all you need to find something you love and do it! then you need to schedule it into your week. block off the time to do it. dont just "hope" it happens. third, rehearse in your minds eye going to work out several times a day. see yourself getting ready to workout, see yourself doing it and then see yourself feeling happy and satisfied afterwards. and remember it takes 6-8 weeks to form a new habit. sometimes more.

expecting you to cook because you are a woman is chauvinistic. expecting you to cook when you just had surgery is both unrealistic and lacking in empathy. all the more reason to insist he come to an appt with you. having expectations of people without really planning out in advance what will actually happen is a prescription for serious disappointment. you need to have a serious conversation with him where you put everything out on the table and tell him very specifically what you need him to do. this surgery is too important for you to just hope he doesnt sabotage you.

thats how you know its a projection. thats why its all about her. thats how you can tell she's a very messed up person the OP should run, not walk, away from as fast as possible!

greensleeves, your ex sounds pretty crazy too!

it is. its illegal to not have a patient sign informed consent forms fully informing the patient about all aspects of the surgery.

since you never lost much weight, there is a chance your sleeve wasnt done right. this is a good time for you to look at what you might get better at, since you will need to do pretty much the same stuff after rny surgery. good for you for going to see another doc, too many people dont try to get help from their doctor.

whats happening with you? do you see a therapist? have you gone to see your doctor? what do you really need right now? did you ever exercise? work with a trainer? have you thought about trying something like a juice fast or the whole30 plan to get back on track?

yeah, put your foot down. no junk food in the house, no cooking dinner. i am sorry you guys didnt figure this out before surgery, but please ask him to come with you to your next appt. either the doc or the nut. if you dont have an appt coming up soon, make one. insist he come with you. discuss these issues at the appt. I asked every single person i talked with in my doctor's office what the number one reason was for long term failure was and everyone of them said "lack of family support."

. i would not engage her. obviously she craves and lives on attention. the OP needs to move past this and the best way to do that is to walk away. pretend this woman doesnt exist anymore. engaging her further will just give her more fodder for her "blog." and prolong her pain over this woman's horrible behavior.

potato chips and pepsi are vegan. so is pasta, bread, rice, french fries and all kinds of high calorie crap. i have a friend who is very obese and vegan. she eats lots and lots of crap. she cooks these huge dinners for her family with 2-3 main dishes, 2-3 side dishes and 1-3 desserts. she claims she is healthy and happy and PCOS is the only reason she is fat. i am like, honey, you are fat cause of all the food you eat and you have PCOS cause you are fat. but she is another one into fat acceptance (which is not a bad thing in and of itself, but should not be a reason for refusing to get healthy), and says she is fine with weighing 300 pounds. its sad really.

draw a firm line. ask your friend to not speak to you about her. period. no matter what she writes or says. i had a friend walk away from me a number of years ago. she would never speak to me about what she was upset about, but she stayed friends with my housemate. eventually i needed to ask my housemate to not speak to me about her anymore and please not speak to her about me (which i only had her word about, but that was okay for me). be firm. tell your friend its just too painful for you, you need her to please spare your feelings (doesnt matter, whatever works to get her to shut up). you have to take care of yourself now. this is a good start to a new life.