moonlitestarbrite

anyone read either of these books by geneen roth and want to discuss or comment?

currently reading "radical acceptance" by tara brach. excellent book. perfect follow up to "women food and god." its much more specific and has a concrete outline of "what to do." (though spiritual in nature, not religious at all)

good for you! i am concerned when i see people in my FB support group who say they are out of control and gaining weight, but have no real plan for dealing with their stress. winging it doesnt really work, yk?

def call your doctor.

dont argue. dont respond. stand there smiling vaguely for a few moments then say "oh! i have to go to the bathroom!" or "omg! i forgot i have a very important phone call to make!" then run off. if you dont allow her to hook you, there wont be a charged exchange between the two of you. the more disinterested you appear, the faster she will go away. you can also call the NYS labor board and get their take on her being intrusive regarding medical treatment. they can guide you.

as a mom who had 2 homebirths, nursed my toddlers, co-slept with my kids (we didnt ever use a crib), and now homeschools... i am used to people being intrusive with me. in the homeschooling community we have what we call the "pass the bean dip" technique.... meaning when someone asks an inappropriate question or makes an out of line comment, you make a non-response... such as "hmmmm" or "interesting" or "thats a lot to think about," and then say, "pass the bean dip please (insert any distracting phrase)," then say nothing else. i have found that a bored smile, looking past the person's shoulder and then asking them something about themselves is a great technique. people LOVE to talk about themselves, its an awesome distraction! here's an example: pushy boss: you need another morning off for a doctor's appt???? what's going on with you?? why do you need to see the doctor again?? you: "the doctor ordered a test. that was when they scheduled it. its pretty standard." PB: what kind of test? why? you: the doctor ordered it. thanks for your concern. its pretty standard. PB: whats wrong with you? you: its a pretty standard test. *gentle smile* did you see sons of anarchy the other night? it's my favorite show! what's your guilty pleasure? do you want to go get coffee? did you see its going to be 80* this weekend? PB: uhhhhhh you have to be firm, non-responsive and patient. but it works wonders. if you are defensive and reactive, she will have the upper hand... which is what this is all about. so be calm, stand your ground and realize that you have the labor laws on your side.

intestinal flora can be greatly affected by surgery and/or diet changes... eat lots of yogurt, or take probiotics. you may want to consider a good digestive enzyme supplement too.

you should post this on the general weight loss forum. you will get more answers. only you can decide to have firm boundaries with this woman. you may want to place a call to the labor board. they can help you with what you are actually required by labor law to tell your boss. i believe the law in NY is that you are only required to say you have a medical appt. i dont believe you are required to provide any details. only you can find the strength you need to respond to your boss' bullying with simple phrases, gentle smiles and light hearted chuckles. many women are people pleasers. you may feel compelled to give into her demands by over sharing. but with practice you can choose to not get sucked into her intensity and disengage. just keep repeating that phrase over and over in your head when dealing with her... "disengage disengage disengage." she hounds you because you respond.

you can actually kill yourself. i read about a woman in the UK who has bypass and she continued to binge eat and the food began backing up into her esophagus. eventually she stretched the esophagus to the point where the excess food in there suffocated her. obviously, a very rare occurrence, but i cant imagine what that must have felt like... the inquest said it was over a period of months that she did this to herself.

there are people who are able to eat around their surgery. so it depends on what you binge on. obviously, the more you can deal with before the surgery the better. the surgery doesnt fix your emotions or your thought processes. its just one facet of a complicated situation. very few of us were fat for one single reason.

this is a pretty good article! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/14/cravings-mistakes-worse_n_5798002.html

omg! ignore my typo! lol

i have been helping a friend who is in the pipeline for this surgery. my suggestions for you are the same i gave her: log every single thing you put in your mouth, every single day, honestly and faithfully. no exceptions. learn to drink between meals, not with meals, eat slowly, take small bites, chew well. measure your food before you serve yourself. start researching and practicing ways to soothe yourself without food. start walking every day, 10 minutes. no exceptions. good luck!

low blood sugar can make you feel like this. take a few tablespoons of honey and see if this makes you feel better. i went through this as i had excessive swelling due to scar tissue removal and the difficulty keeping anything down lead to low blood sugar and lots of nausea. once i figured out how to get my blood sugar levels up to normal, i was able to get hydrated and started feeling much much better.

cheese sticks. or a spoon.

wondering if anyone has any insight into this post WLS? i get so sore several days after i exercise... 2, 3, sometimes even 4 days later... it's really making me miserable and curtailing my desire to workout. i have just pushed thought the soreness and gone and worked out again, but then i am doubly miserable later on. i have talked to my chiro, a good friend who a very experienced trainer and done research online, but i have not found any revelations about why this might be... i eat my Protein, drink my Water, take extra magnesium and glutamine... i warm up, stretch, follow all the suggestions. there have been some concerns in the past i might have fibromyalgia, but my "C reactive protein" markers in my blood were back down to normal before the surgery... maybe i need to have another blood test? anyone know anything about this being specific to WLS? or maybe this is just me and not connected at all.

storytotell, call your doctor, sounds like gall bladder.. this is not normal! unless you are eating too fast, or too much or both.

i can eat a small amount of everything except very sweet things. (which i didnt like before surgery either) you arent panicking about food. you are panicking about loosing the only coping mechanism you have. i dont miss food. i get to eat 3-5 times a day! i miss not being about to provide myself with comfort by stuffing myself full of food. try googling "soothe yourself without food." you will get some ideas of things to start practicing.

mine was skinny minnie.. cause up until i was 10, i was really scrawny and boney. my aunt started calling me that, cause she had 3 zaftig girls... my dad called me pussycat (1960s) and my mom called me matilda or sarah burnheart when i was being a drama queen. i try really hard not to call my kids nicknames that have anything to do with their physical appearance. it bothered me a lot that my aunt was always calling attention to my body. both my kids have been called captain chaos and dr dangerous as toddlers and preschoolers, but i try to keep it to a minimum.

TMI! lol

dr johnson at highland was very clear with me about everything. he did not sugarcoat anything. he was up front, direct and honest. he was also kind and caring, empathetic, responsive, listened to my concerns and was respectful of my knowledge about medicine and the body. its not required that someone be mean to get their point across. but having worked in chemical dependency treatment for more than 10 years, i understand how people get that way.

elephant journal is such a mixed bag! some great stuff and then lots of drivel too! lol kinda like real life.

a former boyfriend had him. i wont tell you the words he's used to describe him. but he was and is happy with his outcome.

you go out to eat at a BBQ restaurant and eat exactly 2 ribs!

yogurt, yogurt, yogurt.