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smjuroska reacted to MWilliams42 for a blog entry, Thoughts for Today
So I woke up this morning, SUPER glad that yesterday is DONE! I was looking at the calendar and I saw the date, I then began to think. As of this past Sunday I am 2 months out, 8 weeks people, from my surgery date and I have lost almost 30 pounds! Amazing, right? Well...yes it is, but then I thought, "Woman, you need to zip your lips the next time you think of complaining the scale isn't moving!". RIGHT?!!!
In those very thoughts I thought of how amazing it is to even be able to vocalize that I have LOST, not gained, almost 30 pounds!!! It seems like a lifetime ago that I was able to say I even lost 5 pounds, or even 10! Now look at that number!!! I then thought that I have no right to gripe when the scale doesn't move as fast as I think it should, or say what I have been waiting for it to say. Our minds, well my mind anyway, can be a dangerous place and that is why I HAVE to talk positively to myself every minute of the day! Who thought I would ever be able to say in 8 weeks I have LOST almost 30 pounds!!!
I guess it's in the moments of reflection that you begin to realize that at times we can become so complacent, so ungrateful for even the smallest victories. I cannot speak for everyone, just for me, and I am a very thankful person, and when I realized that I was getting to the point of not being satisfied with my victories, that is a sad day for me. I read someone else's blog this morning on almost the same exact topic and it just made me think.
I'm working on my mind, daily, and this is such a touchy subject with me. But I have to wake up everyday and KNOW that I am not yet where I want to be but I am so much better than the day before.
In the person's blog that I read she recounted the obstacles she has overcome, and how she, too, is frustrated with that stupid scale as she is so close to her goal and it is just taunting her. When will we, I, be completely satisfied??? When did I overlook where I came from and open my eyes to now see the real reflection of ME? I'm almost completely off my insulin and I am completely off my oral meds for diabetes, that is a HUGE Victory and if nothing else changes, I am so thankful for that.
I've worked hard in my life to really like who I see in my reflection, and at times I haven't even wanted to look. My husband tells me how good I look, I shake my head no, he tells me I'm beautiful and I struggle to say thank you...but I'm getting better. I can like who I see in the mirror, why? Because she has a beautiful heart, she is a strong woman and because she has come through so much in her life, and to get to this wonderful place, I just couldn't be more thankful. I don't want to take one since solitary moment for granted, and seem like I'm ungrateful. I'm blessed beyond measure to be able to have come this far.
Have a GREAT day!!!
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, 2 months already!
Well I am just shy of 2 months! I have made it to my first mini goal! Yay! So excited! I am and proud that I actually made it! I still am struggling to get in exercise! I know I need to but time is not my friend right now. I literally am so busy right now with everything else. My husband is going through some sort of something right now and I am picking up his slack. ALL the house chores and cooking is falling on me. Not to mention soccer pratice, homework, and giving the kids baths ect. You parents know the deal. It's like I am a single parent right now! He is not happy about his weight and I think seeing me losing and becoming more postive and happy has him in the dumps. He isn't being ugly to me or making me feel guilty but he seems a little checked out. I have mentioned to him about the slacking off but I am trying to let him work through this funk. I am however feeling a little stretched and I am going to snap soon! He is complaining about his weight all the time. It's like he is becoming me before surgery! Hopefully I can inspire him to change his lifestyle and this is just a phase before he snaps out of it and starts to. Well enough of that! It is just something I never thought would happen when I started this. I didn't think it would affect him this way. Well back to me! lol
So my next mini goal is 199! That's right ONEDERLAND! Oh to see those numbers on my scale! What a happy day! So hopefully in the next couple of months I am going to make that happen! I want to make it there or under by Christmas! It is my Christmas present to myself! So my stats so far are...
Pre-Op -7lbs Size 20 pant 1-2x tops
1 Month -26lbs Size 18/16 XL
2 Month -12lbs Size 16/14 regular L no PLUS SIZE! And 45 lbs lighter!
Can't wait to see what next month loss will be! Happy Friday Y'all!
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, 2 months already!
Well I am just shy of 2 months! I have made it to my first mini goal! Yay! So excited! I am and proud that I actually made it! I still am struggling to get in exercise! I know I need to but time is not my friend right now. I literally am so busy right now with everything else. My husband is going through some sort of something right now and I am picking up his slack. ALL the house chores and cooking is falling on me. Not to mention soccer pratice, homework, and giving the kids baths ect. You parents know the deal. It's like I am a single parent right now! He is not happy about his weight and I think seeing me losing and becoming more postive and happy has him in the dumps. He isn't being ugly to me or making me feel guilty but he seems a little checked out. I have mentioned to him about the slacking off but I am trying to let him work through this funk. I am however feeling a little stretched and I am going to snap soon! He is complaining about his weight all the time. It's like he is becoming me before surgery! Hopefully I can inspire him to change his lifestyle and this is just a phase before he snaps out of it and starts to. Well enough of that! It is just something I never thought would happen when I started this. I didn't think it would affect him this way. Well back to me! lol
So my next mini goal is 199! That's right ONEDERLAND! Oh to see those numbers on my scale! What a happy day! So hopefully in the next couple of months I am going to make that happen! I want to make it there or under by Christmas! It is my Christmas present to myself! So my stats so far are...
Pre-Op -7lbs Size 20 pant 1-2x tops
1 Month -26lbs Size 18/16 XL
2 Month -12lbs Size 16/14 regular L no PLUS SIZE! And 45 lbs lighter!
Can't wait to see what next month loss will be! Happy Friday Y'all!
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, 2 months already!
Well I am just shy of 2 months! I have made it to my first mini goal! Yay! So excited! I am and proud that I actually made it! I still am struggling to get in exercise! I know I need to but time is not my friend right now. I literally am so busy right now with everything else. My husband is going through some sort of something right now and I am picking up his slack. ALL the house chores and cooking is falling on me. Not to mention soccer pratice, homework, and giving the kids baths ect. You parents know the deal. It's like I am a single parent right now! He is not happy about his weight and I think seeing me losing and becoming more postive and happy has him in the dumps. He isn't being ugly to me or making me feel guilty but he seems a little checked out. I have mentioned to him about the slacking off but I am trying to let him work through this funk. I am however feeling a little stretched and I am going to snap soon! He is complaining about his weight all the time. It's like he is becoming me before surgery! Hopefully I can inspire him to change his lifestyle and this is just a phase before he snaps out of it and starts to. Well enough of that! It is just something I never thought would happen when I started this. I didn't think it would affect him this way. Well back to me! lol
So my next mini goal is 199! That's right ONEDERLAND! Oh to see those numbers on my scale! What a happy day! So hopefully in the next couple of months I am going to make that happen! I want to make it there or under by Christmas! It is my Christmas present to myself! So my stats so far are...
Pre-Op -7lbs Size 20 pant 1-2x tops
1 Month -26lbs Size 18/16 XL
2 Month -12lbs Size 16/14 regular L no PLUS SIZE! And 45 lbs lighter!
Can't wait to see what next month loss will be! Happy Friday Y'all!
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, 2 months already!
Well I am just shy of 2 months! I have made it to my first mini goal! Yay! So excited! I am and proud that I actually made it! I still am struggling to get in exercise! I know I need to but time is not my friend right now. I literally am so busy right now with everything else. My husband is going through some sort of something right now and I am picking up his slack. ALL the house chores and cooking is falling on me. Not to mention soccer pratice, homework, and giving the kids baths ect. You parents know the deal. It's like I am a single parent right now! He is not happy about his weight and I think seeing me losing and becoming more postive and happy has him in the dumps. He isn't being ugly to me or making me feel guilty but he seems a little checked out. I have mentioned to him about the slacking off but I am trying to let him work through this funk. I am however feeling a little stretched and I am going to snap soon! He is complaining about his weight all the time. It's like he is becoming me before surgery! Hopefully I can inspire him to change his lifestyle and this is just a phase before he snaps out of it and starts to. Well enough of that! It is just something I never thought would happen when I started this. I didn't think it would affect him this way. Well back to me! lol
So my next mini goal is 199! That's right ONEDERLAND! Oh to see those numbers on my scale! What a happy day! So hopefully in the next couple of months I am going to make that happen! I want to make it there or under by Christmas! It is my Christmas present to myself! So my stats so far are...
Pre-Op -7lbs Size 20 pant 1-2x tops
1 Month -26lbs Size 18/16 XL
2 Month -12lbs Size 16/14 regular L no PLUS SIZE! And 45 lbs lighter!
Can't wait to see what next month loss will be! Happy Friday Y'all!
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, 2 months already!
Well I am just shy of 2 months! I have made it to my first mini goal! Yay! So excited! I am and proud that I actually made it! I still am struggling to get in exercise! I know I need to but time is not my friend right now. I literally am so busy right now with everything else. My husband is going through some sort of something right now and I am picking up his slack. ALL the house chores and cooking is falling on me. Not to mention soccer pratice, homework, and giving the kids baths ect. You parents know the deal. It's like I am a single parent right now! He is not happy about his weight and I think seeing me losing and becoming more postive and happy has him in the dumps. He isn't being ugly to me or making me feel guilty but he seems a little checked out. I have mentioned to him about the slacking off but I am trying to let him work through this funk. I am however feeling a little stretched and I am going to snap soon! He is complaining about his weight all the time. It's like he is becoming me before surgery! Hopefully I can inspire him to change his lifestyle and this is just a phase before he snaps out of it and starts to. Well enough of that! It is just something I never thought would happen when I started this. I didn't think it would affect him this way. Well back to me! lol
So my next mini goal is 199! That's right ONEDERLAND! Oh to see those numbers on my scale! What a happy day! So hopefully in the next couple of months I am going to make that happen! I want to make it there or under by Christmas! It is my Christmas present to myself! So my stats so far are...
Pre-Op -7lbs Size 20 pant 1-2x tops
1 Month -26lbs Size 18/16 XL
2 Month -12lbs Size 16/14 regular L no PLUS SIZE! And 45 lbs lighter!
Can't wait to see what next month loss will be! Happy Friday Y'all!
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smjuroska reacted to MWilliams42 for a blog entry, It MOVED!
Well...GOOD morning!!!! I took the advice I was given and ran with it! I am trying...trying...trying to up my calorie intake, that is very difficult, but I am managing!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO...as the title states, IT MOVED!!! The scale, it moved, it moved, it moved!!! And I got so excited, I told my hubs...he likes to joke around and he said, "well the scale does move when you get on!!" I just said, "HONEY!!" He laughed and I said my stall is gone for now, now that makes me HAPPY!!! It was stuck, on 208 forever! NOW...it reads 203.8!!! Yippee!!! I have to say, we are all on this journey and I am super thankful, daily, that I have the support that I have, and I will help be a support to anyone who needs it! This is for the rest of our lives and that is the really exciting part!!! We get to have energy, function without losing our breath, exercise and not still be jiggling even when we are done, live longer, have a healthy relationship with food, give our families the BEST of us...the list goes on and on! I'm just so excited to see and hear about everyone's progress, it just makes me smile!!!
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, Big losses, stalls, hunger, and self doubt...all in 6 weeks!
So it has been 6 weeks and 6 days since surgery! I have lost a total of 35 pounds since surgery! Pretty impressive and I am 3 pounds from my first mini goal of 220. It has been over 8 years since I have weighed that and I was 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. It was my first weigh in and pre natal Dr. appt. and I was SHOCKED I weighed that much! Now I am so excited to see that number! Talk about perspective! I remember crying the whole way home! Now those tears will be joy!
Well on to the NOW!
The things that I am dealing with as I am more healed and eating "normal"...
I am losing and I get to the point of feeling "normal" and dare I say comfortable. Then I get on here read something and get all paranoid and start 2nd guessing myself. I know that we are all different in how we lose weight, how we got to the point of choosing surgery, and how we will lose with surgery. The common thread here is we are all/were obese and we all had sleeve surgery. I have been not getting on this site and fining my own way. I want to continue to document my feelings but I am at the stage were I need to find a comfortable way to live and still lose the weight. Now, having said that this site has helped me so much! I kind of take the good and the bad and try to filter the crap out. I am not blaming this site for my doubt but ME for letting myself get caught up with this site and not listening to my body and my medical team. Since surgery I have NEVER been told by my NUT or Doctor to eat low carb high protein diet. Aim for 60-80 grams of protein and 64oz of water yes but no limit on carbs. I don't usually have room for more than a bite anyway. They said protein first, veggies/fruit, and then carb. Make good choices and eat a balanced diet. They never said restrict calories to such and such a day, do not eat over 1/4 or whatever cups of food. They said everyone is different and gave me a chart of what their average patient eats after surgery and at what stage. They did talk to me about sliders and how no one even people who haven't had surgery should avoid these foods. I am pretty smart and I know healthy meals from crap so I don't know why I think because I eat a piece of bread one day that I have sabatoged my weight loss and will FAIL!
So yes the last few weeks have been plagued with this self doubt! I am working through that!
I have had some pretty big losses! The first week I lost 14 pounds! This week I lost 5! But I also have had the dreaded stall! I lost nothing and even gained a pound around week 3 into 4! But it came off and ironically the next day after I ate the evil carb infested multi grain toast for breakfast! go figure.
Hunger has come back but it is different. The first month I don't think I was ever really hungry. had some head hunger but nothing more than that. The past couple of weeks I do get hungry but it's not that crazy hungry where I will want to eat a horse! It just a tiny little pang in my tummy and chest. If I don't heed the warning and eat a bite I get shaky and get very run down. These hunger pangs don't happen everyday. Some days I feel like not eating at all. I never get hungry and never really want food. I am making myself eat something on those days. Then some days I feel like my body needs the food and I eat more on those days. Food taste better on those days too! I followed this trend last week. On the days I felt hunger and felt I needed food I lost and days I didn't want food and didn't eat hardly anything I didn't lose. I only usually weigh once a week but it was an experiement last week! It was interesting and taught me what I already knew! My body knows best! So while I am not an expert on weight loss surgery or how to lose the most weight and fast I do know MY body. So this week I am going to listen to it and see how things go. Oh I still like my little piece of chocolate in the evening! I don't eat it every night but I will not ever let myself feel guilty when I do from here on out! This self doubt and guilt crap was before and I will not let it get the best of me now!
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smjuroska reacted to nygurl for a blog entry, ALMOST there
ALMOST there!! Hit the scale today at 175, that means a total loss of 80 pounds since my pre-op weight (65 post op). I'm comfortably in a size 8 (from a size 18/20)...and I'm loving my new life.
I was blessed with a recent change to meet my all-time FAVORITE band (Rascal Flatts) just this past month. I was so happy to be able to go and enjoy myself and take pictures and not worry about how I looked, or what people were thinking. It's amazing how much this life-change has really put my entire life in a new perspective. I didn't realize how lacking my confidence was...actually I always prided myself on being a confident woman, but I didn't see how much I was holding back until I lost the weight.
I had the joy of attending my daughter's Back-To-School Night last week, her 2nd grade teacher (from 2 years ago) didn't even recognize me.
For those of you that are struggling or are in the early stages of this change...keep the faith- you CAN do this, and I promise you it will be worth it's weight in gold when you are living your new life. For those of you debating on doing it...I cannot promise you an easy path, I can't say for certian you won't have complications or problems- but I can tell you- without any doubt, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself, for my children, for my family, and for my own happiness.
Ok, just wanted to drop a quick update on everyone- OFF TO WALK ON LUNCH!!!
XOXXOXOXO
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smjuroska reacted to MWilliams42 for a blog entry, Progress
Good morning world!! I am waking up feeling like a new person! I have not been on the scale since Friday, but continued my walking and exercise all weekend. I feel great! I promised myself that I wouldn't continuously take pics, but for someone who LOVES being the one TAKING the pics, this has really helped me put things in perspective. I have always been asked if I'm pregnant, I carry the majority of my weight in the dreaded gut. I attached a pic and it has helped me see that while the scale isn't moving, I am STILL making progress! The bottom right pic is me the day before my surgery, the middle one was 2 weeks ago, and the top left is me last week. It has helped me to actually SEE what is going on, and that helps to wrap my mind around what changes are taking place. I guess I just wanted to post this because I am as frustrated as the rest of those I see on this site with the stall that I am facing, head on, but I have to say...take some pics, compare them to the day you went in for surgery and I think you will be pleasantly surprised! So...in about an hour or so I will be getting on the scale, have a Dr.'s appointment...hope it is positive! Have a great DAY!!! -
smjuroska reacted to newmeIowa for a blog entry, Diabetes GONE!
The nurse just called to tell me my labs yesterday look great and my diabetes is GONE! My blood pressure is down to 102/62 - amazing and the MS is still at bay. I feel so good and I'm still 56 lbs from my goal.
I'm back at school and my colleagues have been wonderfully supportive and kind with their reactions to my deflated self. Had a few people not recognize me, so that's fun. The kids are so cute, they look at me with a bit of shock, but don't say anything, obviously struggling with what's appropriate in the situation. I love my job!
Shopping is getting easier too. I was so excited yesterday to be able to shop in the 'regular' sized area and get XL (instead of my usual 3X) tops. Freedom!
It's been blazing hot in Iowa for the last 10 days so I've been running on the treadmill, which I've named 'the evil one.' I LOVE my trail jogs in nature, but the evil one has pushed me to go faster and further, so that's something at least. Wondering if I should sign up for a 5K run in the area since I'm doing 3.5 miles easily now. I don't have a group that I'd be able to run with, so I'm leaning towards . . . not yet.
Dear husband has been so wonderful, making me feel desirable again and so powerful. I love that man. I couldn't have done any of this without him.
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smjuroska reacted to southernsoul for a blog entry, Judgment Day
Lately, I’ve been thinking about judgments & why people feel compelled to judge others. People post a lot here about feeling judged by friends and family members for deciding to have surgery, or feeling judged by skinny people for being fat in the first place. Personally, I have been fortunate that not one single negative word has been said to me with regards to having surgery. My family and friends have all been very supportive. Intellectually, I know I am (or have been) judged negatively by other people for my weight, but I honestly don’t usually notice those judgments. If I do happen to notice or feel judged by somebody, I don’t generally internalize the judgment and allow it to continue to affect me.
But it seems to me that there is also a fair amount of judgment happening among members of the WLS community. Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it quite overt, but it’s all judgmental bulls**t that says more about the person making the judgment than it does about the person being judged. Here are just a few judgments I have observed being made here and elsewhere among members of the WLS community. Some of these judgments have been directed at me, some I’ve observed in others, and one or two I am guilty of making.
Everyone who needs/wants WLS has a food addiction or depression or very low self-esteem. If you say you don’t, then you are either lying or in denial.
People who go to Mexico for surgery are less prepared mentally and emotionally than those who have surgery in the US.
My surgeon does things the “right” way. If your surgeon tells you something different, he/she is wrong and I am justified in telling you to ignore your surgeon’s instructions.
People who slip up on the preop diet are not ready for surgery and will likely fail.
People who do not follow instructions to the letter in the first couple of months post-op are not committed to the process and will likely fail.
People who do not commit wholeheartedly to an exercise plan postop are not committed to the process and will likely fail.
People who drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or smoke weed postop are not committed to the process and will likely fail.
People who come here posting questions without first searching for the answer are dumb or lazy.
People who credit their faith with helping them get through this process are annoying and should not talk about their faith in relation to WLS.
People who are atheist or agnostic are missing the most important part of life and should be pitied.
People who have plastics after WLS are vain.
People who struggle to put their own needs ahead of others aren't trying hard enough or valuing themselves enough.
I’m sure other folks can think of more, and there is also a whole raft of judgments that we frequently make against ourselves. The point is that none of these judgments are true and none of these judgments are supportive or helpful in any way. We all have our own path to travel, and I believe we each generally do the best we can at any given time. At various times, my “best” will be better than some and not nearly as good as others, and that’s true for everybody. I don’t know if judging others is a way to feel better about ourselves, or just a bad habit we fall into, but it certainly does seem to come naturally to us. In my opinion, reaching out for support is a healthy, intelligent, and wise thing to do. Let’s try to respect the courage it takes to be here, and check our judgments at the door.
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smjuroska got a reaction from meamo for a blog entry, One Month already?!
I can't believe my surgery was a month ago! Everything is going super speed here! I am feeling pretty good and at a very good place mentally. I think being prepared for all the ups and downs and having wonderful support has kept me sane. So my offical stats are 33 pounds lost total. I started at 258(my offical start weight with my surgeon) had a down slide blew up to 265 (my weigh-in the day I started my pre-op). I think that is super awesome! I have also lost 18.75 inches (from the parts I measure). I know I will not lose another 26 pounds this coming month but hey as long as that scale is moving down I am happy. 33 pounds in 6 weeks is quite a bit of weight and a great starting point. Hopefully next month I can have another 10+ pounds off. Things that I am thankful for are:
My internal stitch popped last Sunday! I had lots of pain Saturday from that darn little thing and Sunday instant relief!
My sleeve! It has really made this alot easier for me. I am human and still want to eat but my sleeve keeps me from over doing it. Still in shock by the amount I can eat. Before that would have a been a nibble before I actually sat down and ate.
My family, and job. They won't allow me to whine and complain and they keep my life "normal". Both keep me moving and active. The world didn't stop because I had surgery. Although the first few days I felt it should have!
That constant hunger and craving bad foods is gone for the most part. Yeah I will get a whiff of something and think that smells good but it ends there. I don't walk around the grocery store craving the fresh baked whatever and end up buying it and eating half on the way home. I simply don't really want it.
Some things that I need to to work on (I am not near a perfect human nor WLS patient but, who the heck is?)
I HAVE to start toning up my flabby butt! For real!
I HAVE to find the time in my jam packed schedule to do some cardio
I need to keeping trying "new" foods to see how I can handle them. I want my fuel to come from food not shakes and bars. I am so against living off protein shakes and bars! They are fake nasty tasting junk, to me anyway! But I am not able to meet my protein without them for now... So I still use them.
This surgery was a lifestyle change for me not a "diet". So far it is working but I know that I have to keep up with a healthy lifestyle to be healthy and keep the weight off. So cheers to Fridays! I am going to go and enjoy my hot TX summer weekend (the last weekend of summer for us, school starts Monday)!
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smjuroska got a reaction from gamergirl for a blog entry, 3 weeks...what?
So I am 3 weeks out from surgery! Can I get a woo hoo! I am starting to feel more like me and not a weight loss patient. As I see it this feeling can only improve as I progress. I can actually sit down with my family and have meals. Albeit I can't eat exactly what they are eating but I can eat with them and have my own plate of food (I am offically on soft foods for a week or so)! Been loving my fish soft veggies and chicken salad! I notice too I can tolerate a whole 1/4 sometimes even 1/2 of cup of food! I ate nearly a whole tomato (a very small tomato from my garden like gold ball size) and 1/2 cup of chicken salad yesterday. I freaked out! I actually called myself a pig to my hubby! WHAT?! My hubby looked at me and said are you kidding our 18 month old eats more than that?! Yeah he is right, I was just having a OMG moment. I get them sometimes even this early out! I had to get rid of some clothes this week. I had some things that were baggy and needed to go. I am not going to be one of those people who are going to wear saggy sad clothes. I like my clothes to fit, saggy butt is not cute! I have always looked nice no matter what size. It ain't changing! But as I was getting rid of things I thought really Shannon you might needs these again! Where the hell did this negative girl come from? I ofcourse pushed on and thought shut up negative nelly these clothes are outta here. What a feeling of accomplishment! The scale has tempted me this week! I hopped on today after swearing I was going to only weigh in on Fridays! I had lost but I don't want the scale to determine my success. I knew I had lost because my clothes were getting loose. That stupid number is just a number! But it still has power over me and I was glad it went down! This is something I am working on! Stalls WILL HAPPEN and I need toprepare myself for that. Previous diet attempts this is usually were I would give up and go on a binge so to speak! Not this time thanks to my sidekick sleevey! We are going to get through stalls like nobody's business! (I hope I don't became a blubbering mess!) Anyway, I am thankful so far for my surgery and feel I have a realistic mindset and postive attitude through the very short sleeved experience. Hope I can keep this sunny outlook! Things that are working for me are...
I don't track my food calories or carbs. Nor will I ever do that again! I eat a healthy balanced diet. I try to keep a rough count of protein and make sure I get my water for the day (all in my head). I go by how I feel. I know what 64oz of water is. I know what dehydration feels like and the signals that I need more. I didn't get this surgery to became obsessed with every bit of food that passes my lips! Which honestly is not very much! I did that before and I am not living like that again! It didn't work and caused eating to be a form of punishment and when I failed (i.e. ate a cupcake) I would beat myself up. Plus I have two girls and I don't want to pass on those negative traits to them. I remember my mom always being on a diet growing up and it affected how I was! I thought my self worth was based on my weight and clothes size. Right now while I am healing I have to change things up but my girls know mommy's tummy is healing. I am not dieting! If I have moments of weakness I don't let them see it. (like calling my self fat or pig!) I am not perfect but I am trying not to pass this to them!
I love food and different flavors and still do! So I experiement with different spices and mix it up. I always ate healthy foods before and enjoyed them but let my weak moments sabatoge all the good I put in.
I am following my guidelines but also listening to my body. For instance I was not suppose to start pureed for 2 weeks but at 1 week 5 days I needed a little more fuel to fill me up and moved to pureeds. I am not advocating this but I am very in tuned to my body and it worked for me. I am active and needed more than I was getting! Next week I may not be ready for "real" foods and may hang on soft foods longer. We will see!
I take my measurements every week! I have lost 14 inches from my thighs waist hips arms and bust! Lets me see how my body is shrinking! That is more exciting than weighing and will get me through those stalls!
I don't talk alot to others about my weight loss or surgery. If they mention it I say yeah I am feeling great and I am doing well and that is it. If they mention my weight loss I say Thank you! I am Shannon not a SLEEVE. I happened to have surgery but people who had gallbladder surgery don't constantly talk about it! This is my outlet for that not my real day to day life. I had the surgery to get healthy and prevent future health problems. Not for it to become who I am!
I do not do fat free sugar free. I eat real foods! I can't wait to not need the protein drinks and shakes! As soon as I can consume enough protein from foods they are going out with the trash! I believe real whole foods are best for my body!
I eat a piece of chocolate everyday (started back when I went to soft foods)! I buy the good stuff and have a square every night! It give me sweet dreams! Plus a small piece of dark chocolate has health benefits! Moderation is key here!
Well that is what is on my mind today! Go out and enjoy life and have a great day!
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smjuroska got a reaction from gamergirl for a blog entry, 3 weeks...what?
So I am 3 weeks out from surgery! Can I get a woo hoo! I am starting to feel more like me and not a weight loss patient. As I see it this feeling can only improve as I progress. I can actually sit down with my family and have meals. Albeit I can't eat exactly what they are eating but I can eat with them and have my own plate of food (I am offically on soft foods for a week or so)! Been loving my fish soft veggies and chicken salad! I notice too I can tolerate a whole 1/4 sometimes even 1/2 of cup of food! I ate nearly a whole tomato (a very small tomato from my garden like gold ball size) and 1/2 cup of chicken salad yesterday. I freaked out! I actually called myself a pig to my hubby! WHAT?! My hubby looked at me and said are you kidding our 18 month old eats more than that?! Yeah he is right, I was just having a OMG moment. I get them sometimes even this early out! I had to get rid of some clothes this week. I had some things that were baggy and needed to go. I am not going to be one of those people who are going to wear saggy sad clothes. I like my clothes to fit, saggy butt is not cute! I have always looked nice no matter what size. It ain't changing! But as I was getting rid of things I thought really Shannon you might needs these again! Where the hell did this negative girl come from? I ofcourse pushed on and thought shut up negative nelly these clothes are outta here. What a feeling of accomplishment! The scale has tempted me this week! I hopped on today after swearing I was going to only weigh in on Fridays! I had lost but I don't want the scale to determine my success. I knew I had lost because my clothes were getting loose. That stupid number is just a number! But it still has power over me and I was glad it went down! This is something I am working on! Stalls WILL HAPPEN and I need toprepare myself for that. Previous diet attempts this is usually were I would give up and go on a binge so to speak! Not this time thanks to my sidekick sleevey! We are going to get through stalls like nobody's business! (I hope I don't became a blubbering mess!) Anyway, I am thankful so far for my surgery and feel I have a realistic mindset and postive attitude through the very short sleeved experience. Hope I can keep this sunny outlook! Things that are working for me are...
I don't track my food calories or carbs. Nor will I ever do that again! I eat a healthy balanced diet. I try to keep a rough count of protein and make sure I get my water for the day (all in my head). I go by how I feel. I know what 64oz of water is. I know what dehydration feels like and the signals that I need more. I didn't get this surgery to became obsessed with every bit of food that passes my lips! Which honestly is not very much! I did that before and I am not living like that again! It didn't work and caused eating to be a form of punishment and when I failed (i.e. ate a cupcake) I would beat myself up. Plus I have two girls and I don't want to pass on those negative traits to them. I remember my mom always being on a diet growing up and it affected how I was! I thought my self worth was based on my weight and clothes size. Right now while I am healing I have to change things up but my girls know mommy's tummy is healing. I am not dieting! If I have moments of weakness I don't let them see it. (like calling my self fat or pig!) I am not perfect but I am trying not to pass this to them!
I love food and different flavors and still do! So I experiement with different spices and mix it up. I always ate healthy foods before and enjoyed them but let my weak moments sabatoge all the good I put in.
I am following my guidelines but also listening to my body. For instance I was not suppose to start pureed for 2 weeks but at 1 week 5 days I needed a little more fuel to fill me up and moved to pureeds. I am not advocating this but I am very in tuned to my body and it worked for me. I am active and needed more than I was getting! Next week I may not be ready for "real" foods and may hang on soft foods longer. We will see!
I take my measurements every week! I have lost 14 inches from my thighs waist hips arms and bust! Lets me see how my body is shrinking! That is more exciting than weighing and will get me through those stalls!
I don't talk alot to others about my weight loss or surgery. If they mention it I say yeah I am feeling great and I am doing well and that is it. If they mention my weight loss I say Thank you! I am Shannon not a SLEEVE. I happened to have surgery but people who had gallbladder surgery don't constantly talk about it! This is my outlet for that not my real day to day life. I had the surgery to get healthy and prevent future health problems. Not for it to become who I am!
I do not do fat free sugar free. I eat real foods! I can't wait to not need the protein drinks and shakes! As soon as I can consume enough protein from foods they are going out with the trash! I believe real whole foods are best for my body!
I eat a piece of chocolate everyday (started back when I went to soft foods)! I buy the good stuff and have a square every night! It give me sweet dreams! Plus a small piece of dark chocolate has health benefits! Moderation is key here!
Well that is what is on my mind today! Go out and enjoy life and have a great day!
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smjuroska got a reaction from MzO for a blog entry, 16 days post-op and back at work....Guess hubby didn't win the lotto last night! Dang it!
So today is 16 days post-op. I am back at work and seem to be fairing well. I had to stay an hour and then some over yesterday and was running all day. I was completely wiped when I got home. I was a little sore too. But I am still healing so that is to be expected. Talk about a welcome back! Anyway today is a new day.
My weight is now down to 240.4 offically this AM. I was going to weigh every Friday but I felt lighter this morning so I hopped on. So now I am down 25 pounds since the 2 week diet and 18 since surgery. CRAZY! I am so not even going to complain or compare my weight loss with others (which I thought I would be obsessed with this, its a control thing). I am not a slow or fast loser in my book. I am just losing! I remember being so happy on WW and hitting the 25 pound mark! It took me about 2 months and I thought that was quick! I lost that in little less than a month with my new tummy! I am still worried about a leak or something going wrong. This while not easy has been a prettty uneventful and my tummy has responed well to everything I have put in it. I guess I am waiting for the bottom to fall. Don't know what that is about.
Some of the issues I am dealing with...
Fatigue. I feel normal but then BAM it hits me and I am down for the count. This happens when I am busy and not taking steady sips of water. (like yesterday afternoon at work hauling a portable x-ray unit around and having to walk up and down 2 flight of stairs about 6 times in an hour)
Bathroom issues. I have always been regular, now I go days and NOTHING. I am taking extra fiber and milk or mag (twice now). I don't feel bloated but I guess I am not taking in much so much doesnt need to come out. I know gross but true.
The damn main insicion. I am ready for it to heal and the internal stitch to pop disslove whatever it does.
Heat I am ready for fall so I can get out and excercise. I am not a treadmill kinda girl. Even listening to music or watching a show I get ansty and bored after 15 mintues. Thinking about joining a gym so I can switch it up when I get bored. But I am not walking/jogging in 105 heat!
My period I have not had a period since end of May beginning of June. NOT NORMAL for me. You can set your clock by my cycle. First I thought nerves and stress now I don't know. I know I am not pregnant. My surgeon know about this and my PCP told me to let my body heal before getting concerned. But it worries me.
H.Pylorus My surgeon got the report back from pathology and my stomach was very inflammed and tested postive for this. So now I have to have a strong 2 week dose of antibiotics to resolve this. Have to wait unitl I am eating regular because they will wreck havoc if I am not eating. Apparently lots of people have this but never know unless it causes problems. Which I was having prior to surgery.
So those are my issues which are all minor! I thank the Lord for watching over me and hope I continue this journey with only positive results. I want to post pics but I am waiting for the 1 month mark! My face is where I see it the most. No more chin(S)! I now have ONE just ONE chin! My nose is smaller too! Not so WIDE. Weird never thought noses got fat until I compared it with my "skinny" pics back in the day. Now it getting back to "normal" lol. Well that is all folks until next time!
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smjuroska got a reaction from aTXtumbleweed for a blog entry, 2 days post-op
So I am on the sleeved side! I am doing ok...sore but ok. Surgery was uneventful and the first evening and night I just walked and pushed my happy button and slept. The next day is when the GAS hit. I was FULL of IT! Walking is helping but it is still there but much less. Until I could fart I was very uncomfortable. Now I am ok. I havent felt sick and I am handling all the fluids I have tried pretty well. I have had ISoPure power Zero with protein added decaf coffee and stevia broth jello and tea. Coughing hurts like hell burping can be uncomfortable. So day two the worst is I am just SORE. I have cleaned up a little and helped get the kids to camp and sitter and I am pooped. I have no desire to eat at all which is good since my family still has to eat. The smells don't make me sick either. Nothing too eventful and I hope it stays that way. Each day seemd to get eaiser. I havent even weighed myself. I am focusing on healing not the scale right now. Well I need a nap!
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smjuroska got a reaction from MzO for a blog entry, 16 days post-op and back at work....Guess hubby didn't win the lotto last night! Dang it!
So today is 16 days post-op. I am back at work and seem to be fairing well. I had to stay an hour and then some over yesterday and was running all day. I was completely wiped when I got home. I was a little sore too. But I am still healing so that is to be expected. Talk about a welcome back! Anyway today is a new day.
My weight is now down to 240.4 offically this AM. I was going to weigh every Friday but I felt lighter this morning so I hopped on. So now I am down 25 pounds since the 2 week diet and 18 since surgery. CRAZY! I am so not even going to complain or compare my weight loss with others (which I thought I would be obsessed with this, its a control thing). I am not a slow or fast loser in my book. I am just losing! I remember being so happy on WW and hitting the 25 pound mark! It took me about 2 months and I thought that was quick! I lost that in little less than a month with my new tummy! I am still worried about a leak or something going wrong. This while not easy has been a prettty uneventful and my tummy has responed well to everything I have put in it. I guess I am waiting for the bottom to fall. Don't know what that is about.
Some of the issues I am dealing with...
Fatigue. I feel normal but then BAM it hits me and I am down for the count. This happens when I am busy and not taking steady sips of water. (like yesterday afternoon at work hauling a portable x-ray unit around and having to walk up and down 2 flight of stairs about 6 times in an hour)
Bathroom issues. I have always been regular, now I go days and NOTHING. I am taking extra fiber and milk or mag (twice now). I don't feel bloated but I guess I am not taking in much so much doesnt need to come out. I know gross but true.
The damn main insicion. I am ready for it to heal and the internal stitch to pop disslove whatever it does.
Heat I am ready for fall so I can get out and excercise. I am not a treadmill kinda girl. Even listening to music or watching a show I get ansty and bored after 15 mintues. Thinking about joining a gym so I can switch it up when I get bored. But I am not walking/jogging in 105 heat!
My period I have not had a period since end of May beginning of June. NOT NORMAL for me. You can set your clock by my cycle. First I thought nerves and stress now I don't know. I know I am not pregnant. My surgeon know about this and my PCP told me to let my body heal before getting concerned. But it worries me.
H.Pylorus My surgeon got the report back from pathology and my stomach was very inflammed and tested postive for this. So now I have to have a strong 2 week dose of antibiotics to resolve this. Have to wait unitl I am eating regular because they will wreck havoc if I am not eating. Apparently lots of people have this but never know unless it causes problems. Which I was having prior to surgery.
So those are my issues which are all minor! I thank the Lord for watching over me and hope I continue this journey with only positive results. I want to post pics but I am waiting for the 1 month mark! My face is where I see it the most. No more chin(S)! I now have ONE just ONE chin! My nose is smaller too! Not so WIDE. Weird never thought noses got fat until I compared it with my "skinny" pics back in the day. Now it getting back to "normal" lol. Well that is all folks until next time!
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smjuroska got a reaction from Madam Reverie for a blog entry, Post-Op Day 5
So I am off the pain meds. Hope this blog makes more sense than day 2. I am doing well I guess. I am only sore where the main incision is. The only reason I know of the others are they are starting to itch. Everything I have put in my tummy is going down pretty well. No issues. (thank you good Lord!) Hope as I progress this continues. I love variety in my diet and hope that I can still do that post-op. I am pretty much drinking the 64oz. and getting 50-60 grams of protein a day. It is an ALL day chore however. I am having some bathroom issues. But with what I'm putting in my body I think this is just trying to adjust, not to mention I just had surgery. I am ready to put some texture in my mouth. I am tired already of liquids but I am not hungry at all. I have to remind my self to sip something other than flavored water. I get tired very easy! I am a go go go person and I just can't do it. That has been the worst part. I want to do things but my body just won't let me yet. I worry about going back to work. I hope I don't still have zero energy then. But that still a week and few days off. I am getting better each day and by then I may feel somewhat normal. I can't wait to feel like myself again! One month from now I am sure I will be screaming from the rooftops! I have lost 18 lbs since starting my pre-op diet, 8 since surgery. That is crazy to me! I can already see a change in my body. Well I am off to walk and drink and drink and drink!
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smjuroska got a reaction from aTXtumbleweed for a blog entry, 2 days post-op
So I am on the sleeved side! I am doing ok...sore but ok. Surgery was uneventful and the first evening and night I just walked and pushed my happy button and slept. The next day is when the GAS hit. I was FULL of IT! Walking is helping but it is still there but much less. Until I could fart I was very uncomfortable. Now I am ok. I havent felt sick and I am handling all the fluids I have tried pretty well. I have had ISoPure power Zero with protein added decaf coffee and stevia broth jello and tea. Coughing hurts like hell burping can be uncomfortable. So day two the worst is I am just SORE. I have cleaned up a little and helped get the kids to camp and sitter and I am pooped. I have no desire to eat at all which is good since my family still has to eat. The smells don't make me sick either. Nothing too eventful and I hope it stays that way. Each day seemd to get eaiser. I havent even weighed myself. I am focusing on healing not the scale right now. Well I need a nap!
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smjuroska reacted to spiritedcowgirl63 for a blog entry, Monday will be my new beginning!
After 2 months of all the appointments and requirements, I am going in for my sleeve!
I have started at 223# and have lost 18# on the preop changes I have always been overweight so this journey of bringing the outside to what the inside feels will be so welcoming. I turned 50 in February and want to feel better and get off the blood pressure medicine and cholesteral. Yah for a new day!!!
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smjuroska got a reaction from MemphisChik for a blog entry, Am I seriously removing 80% of my stomach in 5 days...yep!
This summer has been so crazy that time has flown by! Now I am only a few days out. This all hit me this week and I began to panic. So I had a little pep talk with my friend who had the sleeve over 3 years ago. She made me feel so much better! I have been freaking out all week! I have strict orders to call her when I freak out the next few days. She has done great with it and lost tons of weight and says she feels better now than when she was in her 20s. She did mention that after about 18 months she started to slip with diet. She could eat whatever she wanted and more than ever before. She said she is still battling with sweets and sodas. She never had a craving after surgery until she had a moment of weakness 18 months out and let herself indulge. Since then candy and soda are her vice and she has to watch it. She is still skinny (5'6" 135) but said she put on a few pounds by backsliding. She said this is a TOOL, to me like 1000sX... she was starting to sound like my DR! I just love her! Anyway things are all a go and I have all my vitamins and protein ordered. Still gotta get a few things but I am ready!
Still hanging on with the pre-op diet. (I am lucky though only liquids day before)This pre-op diet has had its moments still (mostly my husband taunting me with all the bad foods) but I am doing it and weighed today and I have lost 9 pounds in not even 2 weeks! I have been following it but I am not tracking my calories or carbs. I have just been eating lean protein (nothing fried or battered) and approved veggies. Lots of cheeses no butter. I have not had ANY bread, pasta, or potatoes! That's a victory in it's self! I am allowed 30 grams of carbs so I use that with sugar free chocolates(my treats). I get 3 bite size pieces a day for a total of 21 carbs. I am sure I have a few extra carbs in my foods to equal 30. I also try to add in a protein drink most days to up the protein. Hope that what I am doing is good enough. I hate calculating everything I eat. I did that with WW and I am over it! I was worried I was not doing it correctly but after my weigh in I think I am right on track.
So now I just keep truckin on until surgery 5 DAYS FROM NOW!
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smjuroska got a reaction from MemphisChik for a blog entry, Am I seriously removing 80% of my stomach in 5 days...yep!
This summer has been so crazy that time has flown by! Now I am only a few days out. This all hit me this week and I began to panic. So I had a little pep talk with my friend who had the sleeve over 3 years ago. She made me feel so much better! I have been freaking out all week! I have strict orders to call her when I freak out the next few days. She has done great with it and lost tons of weight and says she feels better now than when she was in her 20s. She did mention that after about 18 months she started to slip with diet. She could eat whatever she wanted and more than ever before. She said she is still battling with sweets and sodas. She never had a craving after surgery until she had a moment of weakness 18 months out and let herself indulge. Since then candy and soda are her vice and she has to watch it. She is still skinny (5'6" 135) but said she put on a few pounds by backsliding. She said this is a TOOL, to me like 1000sX... she was starting to sound like my DR! I just love her! Anyway things are all a go and I have all my vitamins and protein ordered. Still gotta get a few things but I am ready!
Still hanging on with the pre-op diet. (I am lucky though only liquids day before)This pre-op diet has had its moments still (mostly my husband taunting me with all the bad foods) but I am doing it and weighed today and I have lost 9 pounds in not even 2 weeks! I have been following it but I am not tracking my calories or carbs. I have just been eating lean protein (nothing fried or battered) and approved veggies. Lots of cheeses no butter. I have not had ANY bread, pasta, or potatoes! That's a victory in it's self! I am allowed 30 grams of carbs so I use that with sugar free chocolates(my treats). I get 3 bite size pieces a day for a total of 21 carbs. I am sure I have a few extra carbs in my foods to equal 30. I also try to add in a protein drink most days to up the protein. Hope that what I am doing is good enough. I hate calculating everything I eat. I did that with WW and I am over it! I was worried I was not doing it correctly but after my weigh in I think I am right on track.
So now I just keep truckin on until surgery 5 DAYS FROM NOW!
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smjuroska got a reaction from MemphisChik for a blog entry, Am I seriously removing 80% of my stomach in 5 days...yep!
This summer has been so crazy that time has flown by! Now I am only a few days out. This all hit me this week and I began to panic. So I had a little pep talk with my friend who had the sleeve over 3 years ago. She made me feel so much better! I have been freaking out all week! I have strict orders to call her when I freak out the next few days. She has done great with it and lost tons of weight and says she feels better now than when she was in her 20s. She did mention that after about 18 months she started to slip with diet. She could eat whatever she wanted and more than ever before. She said she is still battling with sweets and sodas. She never had a craving after surgery until she had a moment of weakness 18 months out and let herself indulge. Since then candy and soda are her vice and she has to watch it. She is still skinny (5'6" 135) but said she put on a few pounds by backsliding. She said this is a TOOL, to me like 1000sX... she was starting to sound like my DR! I just love her! Anyway things are all a go and I have all my vitamins and protein ordered. Still gotta get a few things but I am ready!
Still hanging on with the pre-op diet. (I am lucky though only liquids day before)This pre-op diet has had its moments still (mostly my husband taunting me with all the bad foods) but I am doing it and weighed today and I have lost 9 pounds in not even 2 weeks! I have been following it but I am not tracking my calories or carbs. I have just been eating lean protein (nothing fried or battered) and approved veggies. Lots of cheeses no butter. I have not had ANY bread, pasta, or potatoes! That's a victory in it's self! I am allowed 30 grams of carbs so I use that with sugar free chocolates(my treats). I get 3 bite size pieces a day for a total of 21 carbs. I am sure I have a few extra carbs in my foods to equal 30. I also try to add in a protein drink most days to up the protein. Hope that what I am doing is good enough. I hate calculating everything I eat. I did that with WW and I am over it! I was worried I was not doing it correctly but after my weigh in I think I am right on track.
So now I just keep truckin on until surgery 5 DAYS FROM NOW!
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smjuroska reacted to Flutterby for a blog entry, Five Days In - I'm ready for changes...
Beginning weight 296. Surgery weight 286 (lost 10 lbs on pre-op diet), 3 days post op weight 273. (13 lbs since surgery - total 23 lbs lost)
Recovery and healing is going good. Liquids...liquids... and more clear liquids. I can actually take regular size drinks now instead of baby sips. I don't gulp and do take one or two swallows at a time.. but it's feeling wonderful. I'm having less and less pain at my incision sites and can walk around and do light (very light) housework for 10 to 15 minute stretches at a time.
I'm able to get in 50g of protein (unsweetened and unflavored powder in 12 oz. water each time). I'm drinking 80 oz of water, around 30 oz. of beef, chicken or vegetable broth, 100% juice jello, gelled broth, and an occasional zero vitamin water.
I'm not a fan of sweet protein shakes. I don't mind them, and I'll drink one occasionally and they taste great, it's just that I'd rather have something not sweet. I like fruit and fruit juice okay, but prefer savory, salty, creamy, sour and sometimes spicy tastes. Anyway, that's why I got the plain protein powder to mix in water. I found it on Amazon - Now Sports brand of Whey Protein Isolate.
I'm glad I only have two days left of clear liquids. I'm craving something more "full". I look forward to fruit smoothies, creamed cottage cheese, yogurt, and creamed soups. I can use my protein powder in any and all of my "full liquids" so I'll be sure to get my 80 grams per day goal met that way.
I'm keeping my food journal and going to make it a habit. I'm still feeling very optimistic and positive and happy every day. I'm so glad I did this!!!
When it comes time in my sleeve diet progression that I can add all of the ingredients, I plan to use my morning smoothies to get a great nutritional boost every day. I may have one for a snack each afternoon too. I have a magic bullet so I can make a small powerful blast of nutrition. I'll put in fresh frozen spinach cubes (using fresh spinach blended with a small amt of water then put into ice cube trays to freeze), with a couple frozen strawberries or blueberries, banana chunks, peaches, pineapple, etc. (usually I pick two fruits, sometimes three) Then I'll add barley grass powder and veggie/fruit concentrate powder, chia seeds, protein powder and epa oil. Occasionally I may put in a tbsp of fresh peanut butter, almond butter, avacado, coconut oil, or cocoa powder. Yum.. I can't wait.
I've got several soups frozen in individual serving size all ready for when I start my pureed stage... plus frozen cooked chicken left from when I made all my broth... and I'm going to get my crock pot going when it's time to make more mushy veggies and things to puree.
Awww.. now just to be patient with myself as I walk day by day in the moment and do what I need to do to get to each new goal. That's the hard part.
I love the planning, list making, preparing, etc. The fulfilling part of reaching goals is so motivating. Every time I get to mark something off my "to-do" list, or write down a goal accomplished or realize I need to begin working on the next phase - I just smile and remind myself that YES, I can do this... I AM doing this...and I am going to keep moving forward.
The challenges, set-backs, revising, unexpected interruptions, changes and knock downs are there to make me stronger. I usually don't see it that way in the midst of the "problem" or "issue" or "failure" and can get downright depressed and feel sorry for myself. But that's only temporary. Failure is NOT final. Success is mine because I keep getting back up and shaking off the bad stuff - I'm stronger and more focused than ever.