smjuroska

I am pre-op but I don't think you are done losing and you should be HAPPY! All my slimmier friends are always 10-20 pounds from their ideal weight, be it their personal or bmi chart goal. It has been ingrained in us since birth. The perfect number on the scale! I have a close friend who had this surgery and her last 20 pounds took 8 months to come off. Her first 120 came off the first 8 months. She beat herself up and finally just let it go and kept on living a healthy life. It came off. During that time her skin tightened up inches came off and she started to look like a naturally thin person. She looked great but after her body caught up she looks better than she has ever looked. She had lost so much weight so fast her body needed time. I can't give you any advice as I am not post-op but I think you look great and those damn pesky 12lbs will come off! Just enjoy the success keep on working to be healthy, that elusive number is just a number! I know easier said than done!

So I just got my surgery date! Well it is tenative...the hospital has to confirm they have the OR available that day. Ofcourse in true Shannon fashion...the scheduler is out today and you know doctors arent going to do the scheduler's job and make that call! But it is JUNE 27th! That is like not even a full 2 weeks away! CRAZY! She had me worried I wouldn't be getting my surgery for months. She said, "Well how soon are you looking to have the surgery?" I said lets go right NOW! She then said, "Well my schedule is so full right now. We have opened up July and August books". I am thinking, oh great I will have to wait until August or longer. She then said, "Well if you want first available I have the 27th open but not sure OR is available". I said, "August or July 27th?" She said, "No no no this month". I nearly fell off the table. She said, "If OR doesnt have a room she should be able to get me in first week or 2 in July no problem". YAY! So excited and freaking scared! I already have been measured, weighed, my before pic taken and have my scripts for zofran and liquid pain meds for when I get home! This is happening! She also informed me to not start the liver shrinking diet until the OR is booked for sure. I said what if it is not a full two weeks when I find out. She said no problem that she more worried about that in patients who have high liver levels, or are over 50 BMI. She seems confident that my liver will be just fine and a full week to be safe will be enough. I am so excited and scared to freaking death all rolled up in one! But I think I will be fine I heard my feel good song today on the radio as I was leaving the Dr. office (Three Little Birds...has a special meaning for me and lets me know I am where I need to be) which is random b/c 1 I NEVER listen to the radio hardly ever but my ipod was dead and 2 radio here in good ole TX hardly ever plays Bob Marley, even the cool hipster Austin stations. Funny and kinda childish but that was my sign, "that every little thing goin be alright"! Happy Friday Y'all!

Thanks everyone I am literally waiting by the phone to confirm my date! Hoping the OR is not booked up! Fingers crossed!

How are you doing NeverBe?

My good news this Friday is I am done with all my pre-op appointments and it is a long weekend! What a crazy ride this has been! Hoping my surgery and recovery will be a little less stressful! I had the last meeting for the psy eval yesterday. I ofcourse was approved or "passed"! All those crazy questions I had to answers determined I was highly intelligent and a controlling ! HA! I could have told them that without taking a test! Whatever, it is behind me now. I am still not able to schedule my last appointment with my surgeon...waiting for all my labs to come in! Really how hard is it to fax results to one place to another! I do all the time, it takes like, 2 seconds! That is the appointment I get my offical surgery date. I have alot of things on hold waiting for that date! When to get a flight for my mom, when Bailey my daughter will be going back with my mom to NC to visit for the summer, day care arrangments, our annual summer get-away and the list goes on! I hate having things unresolved! I guess that's my inpatience and inability to control taking over! I should become a psycologist! HAHAHA! Time to get this show on the road! Happy Friday! What is your something good?

Hang in there! In a few months this will all be a distant memory. Side note... Did your surgeon write YES across your tummy?

a congrats to you ditrautman1! 25 pounds to goal is awesome! Diana yay for you and good luck!

Ok this week has been a doozy. I have been so busy with life and then on top of that trying to get all this pre-op appointments behind me. I had to cancel my last f/u with my psy to go to a NUT appt. I couldn't do both so I had to make a choice. Damn work! Anyway it is how it goes sometimes. So now I am rescheduled on June 5th! Really that feels like a lifetime away. I will never get a surgery date! I have had hurdle after hurdle to get this surgery and it has me questioning my choice again. I know this is right but then there is this little voice saying maybe all this is a sign. (Damn little voice...bet it's my stomach! I have been depriving it of junk and refined sugar!) Plus at my psy computer test the Dr. said, "You arent that big. I can't believe you are considering surgery. Yes on paper you are obese but you carry it well."(thanks I guess but I don't feel that way and my joints and lungs don't like it either) Then again yesterday the NUT said, "Are you sure you can't lose the weight without surgery you don't have too much to lose. Surgery is a lifetime change. Most of our patients are 350+. " Um hello people my BMI is 41 I need to lose a little over 100 pounds to be within a normal BMI. Plus if I keep on my track I will be one of those patients in 10 years! I thought after being apporved by insurance the hurdles would stop. But they don't. So I thought I made peace with this little voice. Then today my PCP office called and informed me their lab no longer accepts Quest and I would have to pay 350.00 up front or go get the blood work done at Quest. The nearest Quest is 45 minutes away. Really?! If I was just honest with my employer I could get my labs and EKG done here. So I am making this so much harder on myself and the voice is back. I really don't want to have to go to my boss and admit that while my gallbladder is being removed so is 80% of my stomach and that is why I am having so many appts. I work at a drs office so I am sure they are on to me. Gallbladder surgery doesn't require all I have gone through. I feel like I am being pushed to my limit. I have had atleast 1 appt every week for over a month now and I feel like they are all saying the same thing. Madness! Plus the co-pays and PTO! On the bright side I have surprisingly not "cheated" on my low-carb diet. I have had to talk myself out of eating a candy bar a few times! One was last night I had it unwrapped and everything. I threw it away then looked at it in the trash (almost a Senfield moment). But I conquered! woohoo! Anyway...I am not the only one who is going through this and I have to remember that. It will all be ok...right? So how did y'all deal with the stress leading up to surgery? How did you handle the appts. and work with your boss? TGIfreakingF!

I am so sorry for you! I haven't been shot down this way (yet) but I been through alot of red tape with the clinic and insurance. I have been doing their jobs for them for a year! I can somewhat relate to your frustration and disappointment! Hang in there take the time you need and when you are ready to come back we will all be here supporting you! You are worth it! Have a good rest of the week and enjoy the long holiday weekend!

first I love my gummi vitamins...but my NUT so no go after surgery. His reason was that gummies do not have all the vitamins we need. He said one in particular was thaimin and that chewables were better and contained more of the vitamins we need. My friend's NUT told her that gummies aren't absorded well in sleeve patients. So not sure which is true but I guess I will be gummi free after sleeve.

your feelings and emotions are spot on to how I feel. I get this! Our journeys are different but the core reasons for the weight gain and surgery are the same (plus the snacking and extras. I too eat pretty healthy meals but those dang extras get me everytime!) Good for you and good luck on your journey!

Neat I said hang in there twice. Dingbat!

I agree with everyone. I know your frustration. A little over a year ago after researching the sleeve and picking the brain of a friend of mine who had it, I decided I needed this surgery too and I needed it NOW. Then I contacted my insurance and got the same news you recieved. I could have spit bullets that day! lol I ended up taking a whole year. I took 6 months longer than I needed to make this decision. Hang in there and if you really want this you will get through these insurance hoops and get it done! Hang in there and vent here anytime you need to. Somebody if not most of us have or are going through the same struggles.

Ok so I am nearly done with my pre-op stuff. I hate that my surgeon will not schedule until all things have been done. Oh well. I was getting so worked up over all this stuff I nearly quit so many times ( I mean I have been on this journey for over a year). You can see my frustration in past blogs. Well this random quote came across and I love it and needed to hear it. "Stress makes you believe that everything has to happen now! ( that is me, me, me, to a T) Faith reassures you that everything will happen in God's time." It is so true. I am not a super Christian by any means but my faith has always been with God. Everything always works out the way it should for good or bad and I need to let go of things that I cannot control. Funny how one little saying can snap us back to reality and clear things up! By this time next week I will be waiting (well if that crazy psy doc doesn't derail me. hehehe...but for real he is one egg short of sanity) for my very last appointment with my surgeon to schedule my surgery. After all this and I get my date I am sure the reality that I am about get my guts ripped out for the sake of weight loss will hit me. I still can't believe that I am really going to do this! I mean that mostly in a excited good way! One last random thought...I think I may break out the kiddie pool and get some sun this weekend. It is going to be in the 90s! Perfect pool weather. Tan fat looks better than white fat. Well atleast mine does!

I know can relate. I am going through the same thing. It is scary yet freeing at the same time. A good cry never hurt anyone. It helps to get it all out and unclog those emotional pipes!

Thanks Lyndeeboo! I don't know why I get so so stressed about the small stuff I can't control! All I can do is let my work know I have appts. and if it is a problem they will let me know. I just work myself up sometimes! Don't we all?! Your encourgement brought me back to reality!

So I have been through all the emotions scared unsure happy sad calm etc. I am sure I still have some to go. I can only imagine the days or week leading to surgery. I can tend to be doom and gloom when facing the unknown! Then the dreaded pre-op liquid diet! I get snappy when I am hungry and I am sure my family will just love me those 2 weeks. I have been researching, picking brains, and trying to get me ready for this for over a year. I can see the end. Last week when I was approved I thought, "FINALLY" then some strange feeling of panic, and sadness. This was it, it went from I want to have this surgery to I am having this surgery. I mulled over this panic and sadness for a week. I realize that I am scared of changing me (never knew I kinda co depended on fat me until I was faced with finally get rid of her). I am scared/panicky ofcourse of complications and death. I have two young children. I am scared that I may fail. So I have been sitting with these feelings for a week. I woke up today and I know I am on the right path. I am sure those doubts will rear their ugly heads as I near my sleeve date but I know this is right. No ones opinion or advice can change my mind. I got this. Well today I do! What a crazy journey! I also decided to stop the chaos and focus on what is going in my big mouth. I pretty much eat healthy meals it's the in between when I am hungry that gets me. I need to make wiser snack choices. So I'm back on the wagon so to speak. I am even going to replace a meal and snack with a protein shake. So we will see how this goes. Ever since I put in my paperwork I admit I have been having food funerals. So that madness HAS TO STOP! Those funerals are just adding guilt on top of all the other emotions I am having. I am back in control! Happy Monday to us all!

I don't have a date yet. I have to finish my pre-op labs ekg (which only are good for 60 days) and nut appt. Then I meet with the dr. one last time to set my date. They said it usually is 2 wks from that appt. unless I want to schedule it out further. So most likely within the month or early June! I am trying to get my emotions under control. I love what you said melody2! I always try for perfection and beat myself if I don't meet my "perfect" standard! Glad to know I am not alone. I just got to keep calm and sleeve on!

I have so many appts. too! Drives me crazy. I hate going to drs. I spend 40+ hours a week in clinic/hospital setting last thing I want to do is spend my off time there too. Oh well all for the greater good! They aren't too bad and the barium is not too tasty but like the others said it not a very long exam.

You and me are soul sleeve sisters! I so feel this post! Very well written and I have taken the the same approach as you as I get closer to the day! I am a sugar addict and my food funerals has been making me feel the same way. I was so about to give in, read this and thought nope I can do this! Thanks for indirectly bringing back to reality! Have fun on your trips and good luck with surgery!

5/7/2013 Well a barium swallow (where I work atleast) is a modified shorter version of an Upper GI exam. A full exam is still about the same except you may have to drink a bit more barium, a thin and thick. Think milk and milkshake. It's not horrible but it's very heavy on your stomach. You may have to also start the exam with some "fizzies". It like nasty pop rocks. This will put air in your GI so things are easier to see. You will feel bloated and need to burp but need to hold it in until they say it's ok. You will be standing and lying on the table and may have to turn and roll a bit. Should not be to bad at all. Congrats on surgery date and good luck!

So this is my first blog ever. I am blogging like most to keep a journal of my journey and maybe help someone along the way but I am sure I will need alot of that myself. Like most people here I have always been above average in the weight department. I ALWAYS needed to lose 10 vanity lbs in high school. Then when I hit my 20's the weight crept up. I always hated my body! I developed at an early age and look like a grown woman when I was 13. I had the boobs butt hips. Looking back I realized that this is when my problems with food began. It was my comfort. So I got married at 24 and got pregnant a year later. As soon as I saw that postive test it was my ticket to eat whatever I wanted for 9 months. For the first time since I could remember I was not feeling guilty for eating. I packed a whopping 90lbs. on. I was out of control! I had my beautiful baby and then realized I was huge and my body was forever ruined! I exercerised ate low fat low carb and lost 50lbs. Go me! Then life happened and things got stressful and I gained/lost it back, had another beautiful baby, over the next 6 years. I have been on every diet weight watchers atkins all the crazy fads only to go right back to where I started. That yoyoing can really play games on your emotions! So here I am I have 2 beautiful kids, a husband who loves me no matter what, and I am fat and I love myself least of all. I can give all the excuses like I am too busy or this happened and that happened but it all boils down to I put myself last on my list and now I have got to the point that I need help to get me back. The main reason I am doing this surgery is my health. I have a strong family history of early heart disease and type 2 diabetes. I have high total cholesterol high trigs and borderline high insulin levels. I am headed up the same hill many other overweight family members have taken. All of them are in poor health in their 40s and 50s or didn't make much past 50. I cannot end up like them and slowly kill myself. I have lived with my mother for 6 years suffering from heart failure and I know my days are numbered with her. She is only 52 and has given up hope. She has accepted that this is her fate. I can't let me children go through what I am going through with her. I know none of us are promised tomorrow but all my mom's serious health problem are directly related to her poor lifestyle choices. So while I need to get my head right and my emotions in check before surgery I am so glad I have made the choice to have WLS and hopefully be a happy healthy mother and wife for many many many years to come.

Not really... my intro was written a few months ago and realized I had not published it. Yeah I am one smart cookie...which is funny I say that! So I have been lurking in the shadows of this site for over a year. Looking through all the forums, blogs, and my favorite before and after pics! While doing research aka lurking on this site I have been over the past year going to appt after freaking appt to meet my insurnance requirements for approval for sugery. I finally finished the 6 pcp visits in March and was approved for my surgery the last week of April! YAY right...well yeah so I thought! My surgeron has her own set of requirments which includes a psy eval. No biggie that's pretty standard. I schedule the appt. I am ready to get the show in the road and get my surgery scheduled. Well I go thinking okay this will be a breeze. Yeah not so much I have PMS which basically means I am one lifetime movie away from a good ugly cry and I am tired bloated and trying not to eat any chocolate. I need to reschedule but that will hold everything up. I find out in the first 5 minutes this is the first of 3 appts. Ok so I have to come back here and pay a co pay and miss more time off work. I say is there anyway we can make it all one big appt? No avail! So we procced. It starts out okay... standard questions do you eat when you are sad happy yada yada. Then he ask what is the saddest time in your life and were you ever depressed. I say when my brother died unexpectedly in July of 2011. (Side story we were on family vaca and he got sick and passed away 3 days later...I also had just found out I was pregnant. it was a crazy horrible time in my life) I was really close to him and plus being pregnant made my grief ten fold. I was honestly depressed for a few months but that is to be expected I was grieving. Well he keeps probbing about that and I begin to cry and cry and cry. Gotta love PMS! I get myself together and we move on. Then he ask have you ever done drugs or have you ever got drunk? Yeah I was a wild teenager I did both alot! Dammit Shannon you are falling for his tricks! More questions. Makes me think I am an addict. Which I am not! I haven't touch an illegal substance since I was 22 years old. I am 32 now. Did this guy ever here of experimenting sowing wild oats? I barely can finish off a glass of wine now. My patience with this guy is getting thin. He then ask have you ever been sexually/physically abused. I don't answer. I start to cry again...damn PMS! I really don't want to go there I said. It was a long time ago. He keeps on and on. I go into a little detail and he said I should talk to someone maybe a female psy dr about this. Ok whatever you think... moving on. (I am thinking he thinks I am nuts! ) Surely he has heard worse. I am emotionally mentally done! He then ask remember these words in this order. (insert 3 words) I am repeating them in my head. He then ask the date...I answer. Then who was the president of the US during the Civil War? What I don't know am I in history class now. (If I answer wrong will you not approve me for surgery?) Then what is the capital of Italy? I give him a look. I say why?...I don't know why are you asking me these things? He says just answer the questions. Rome. Yes he says now count backwards from 100 and minus 7 each time. I give a even more nasty look with an eye roll. 100....um 93 ummm 86 no thats not right. Look I am not good at math in my head. I cant do that I need a calculator. He then says I give you an easier one...count back from 30 minus 3 each time. Ok I am offically pissed now I feel like a emotional unstable, addict, who is dumb! Plus I have to meet with him after my computer test to go over his results. I swear if this quack does not approve me I will show him crazy for real! Well probalby not but I will be mad.

Interesting...makes sense it is just silly to draw it out to 3 visits because i am eating up my PTO with these dang visits. I think I am fine mentally but I was not expecting all these visit and I swear I been asked the same 8 questions atleast 400 different ways. That is enough to make somebody crazy! Hehehe

I'm new too. No date yet I am trying to get through 3 psy appts (I would pick the one super psy doc who's requirements way above the average!). and a nut appt before I get my final appt to schedule my surgery. Surgery for you is like next week! Exciting