jsrmanatee

OMG...they FIT, they FIT, they FIT!!!!
 
The JEANS, that I have had in my closet forever...FIT!!! Skinny, yet curvy(curvy is GOOD people!!)
 
SO...I was in the closet, I decided today was the day I was going to try them on AGAIN...thinking to myself, "oh these didn't fit 3 weeks ago, they will fit in about a month from now". WELL...I put them on, because I always love denim, and I buttoned them, smile began to surface...zipped them, BIG cheesy grin by this time, AND...I AM STILL BREATHING!!! So you better believe I did NOT take these suckers off!!!!
 
I've been doing a little jig, with a little song that just makes the big cheesy grin, not so cheesy...they fit, uh-huh, they fit...oh yea!!!!
 
It's the little successes that are HUGE!!! Just made my day!!!
 
Have a blessed day!!! Keep up the good work everyone and remember to be FABULOUS today!!!

I swore to myself I wouldn't be one of those posters who whines about ONLY losing ______ pounds. "I lost 52 pounds the first two months, but only 12 this month. I was really hoping to weigh less than my cat by now. "
 
Well, I'm whining. It's a week after surgery and I've lost 2 pounds. While I'm sure this is not uncommon, I can't seem to find any supporting evidence to that end. Stalls seem to make their first appearance, for the most part, in the second and third weeks after surgery. Also, I'm full of gas. More gas than I had two days after surgery. I can't seem to take a sip of anything without swallowing three times as much air. And it won't come out. If I tied a basket to my feet, I could probably give balloon rides over the breathtaking Oregon coast (note to self: possible future career?).
 
I'm just crabby. Nothing's working the way it should and everyone else is to blame. I keep having these practice confrontations with make-believe opponents in which I am angrily defending myself in imaginary scenarios. These things that haven't happened are making me very upset. And my mom moved my $h!t around while I was in Mexico. And did my laundry (which was a very nice thing to do, but also implies my incompetence, right?). And bought the wrong kind of yogurt.
 
And I don't want to take Anatomy and Physiology from that @$$ho!e who won't let me change lab times, even though my schedule only permits me to take the online class but not the online class's lab. Oh, it's my responsibility to free my schedule up so you don't have to deal with the grading "nightmare", as you put it, of dealing with students in labs they aren't registered for? I suppose I should apologize for being the ONE student at Southwestern Oregon Community College who's ever gone for her second Master's? (statistic not confirmed) Really, Mr. "I don't even have a Master's! Just a Bachelor's in Biology and a f**king chiropractic certificate"!!! SERIOUSLY???? Maybe I just won't become a nurse practitioner. That'll show him.
 
And this website won't even let me curse. I have to use fµck¡n8 §Ymb@[$!!! First Amendment, anyone?
 
And my dog is stinky.

Guinness World Records called me today. It was out of the blue and I thought it was my shameful little secret. But apparently being startled by a squirrel can help you become a Guinness record breaker.
 
I was in the kitchen messing around and heard some scratches in the utility room. Upon opening the door, I was confronted by a dastardly squirrel. Being a normal (sort of) person, I figured if I stepped towards him, he'd head for the hills. But no, he charged me!
 
Squirrels aren't supposed to charge! They're supposed to hang upside down on the sides of trees and play funny games of tag with each other.
 
It's in the Squirrel Manual. Chapter 1 - Squirrels are supposed to look cute, chase each other, and RUN whenever confronted by things that outweigh them by 300 lbs.
 
This squirrel, obviously, was a dropout. He's the kinda punk squirrel that skips squirrel school, hangs around the pool hall, and smokes. I would add that he's a heroine addict, but I didn't have time to check his little squirrel arm for tracks - I was too busy trying to release the squirrel back into his natural habitat. By that, I mean that I screamed like a girl and slammed the door.
 
That's where Guinness comes in.
 
I thought my shameful little secret was my own, until I got the phone call. Apparently Guinness heard the scream and the door slam at their headquarters and tracked it back to me. I wondered how they tracked it back to me, until I saw the fault line (apparently caused by my slamming the door) snaking across my property and down the street.
 
I now have two Guinness records - one for Loudest Girly Scream from a Man and Hardest Door Slam Without Knocking the Door Off the Hinges.
 
P.S. The Man Club heard about it as well. I tried to explain that I was employing my catlike Ninja skills and the scream was my way of focusing my Chakras - but they weren't buying it.
 
They said they had already given me a break on the whole Monarch Butterfly incident, but they couldn't give me a pass on this one. I now have 2 points on my Man Card. One more point and I have to take a refresher class. :-(
 
P.P.S Does setting the world record for screaming like a girl count as an aerobic workout??????

I wasn't expecting to write any type of entry for week two, but this week has a big impact on my thought process.
 
Losing 22lbs in week 1 was amazing. I felt great! On top of the world! Ready to jump-start my new life! ...And then, it stopped. On day #7 the scale stopped moving. Now, I've researched this surgery soooo much and knew this was very likely. It seems many people have a stall around week 2-3. I thought I was prepared for this strange phenomena... But I was wrong. I had so many doubts this week. Would I ever lose the weight? Am I doing everything I'm supposed to do? Did I just have surgery to lose 22lbs? It was a terrible week.
And then I realized... This is completely normal. Not only not losing weight is normal, but also all these feeling are normal as well. It's easy to get discouraged when things don't go your way. It's easy to get angry or sad... But that's what this journey is about- it's about a fight to a better you. A physically better you AND an emotionally better you. It's about strength, determination, and learning.
To all you who are discouraged and down this week, pick up the pieces and keep on keeping on. This is all part of your story- the ups AND the downs. There are many times we will feel this way, down and depressed, but we just have to pick ourselves up, dust off, sip some water, and walk it off.
 

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

I've had the past four days off of work to go back to my hometown for my mom and grandpa's joint birthday party. It was awesome as I haven't seen some of my family members in 6 months and they were all shocked at how I look. Okay, so here is my deep, dark secret. I've always kinda envied those women who are small and delicate looking (yet a total steel magnolia underneath!) but at 5'5 and within spitting distance of 300 pounds THAT wasn't a term applied to me. The best I could hope for was that I had a pretty face, or nice eyes or hair. Underwhelming since I always knew they were tacking on the "too bad you're so big". *rolls eyes*. Yet I had soooo many people tell me how tiny and dainty I looked. My uncle even picked me up when he hugged me and spun me around! I still have about 30 pounds I want to lose...but what a great feeling! I'm at a stage where you can actually notice 5 or 10 lb weight loss and I LOVE LOVE LOVE what I'm starting to look like. I adore my kickboxing, zumba and yoga classes and if I don't run several times a week I feel weird. Whats even better is that my amazingly supportive grandparents (so funny now as my grandma was not 100% on board when I told her about my surgery a year ago!) have said that when I run my first 10K this summer that they'll be there at the finish line. That's amazing considering they want to travel to ME and at their age (late 80s) the 3.5 hour trip is hard for them. Wow. Just...wow! This entire long weekend has been great motivation to continue my 'Battle of the Bulge' until I get to my goal!!