TES

Ok, I was saving two pair of jeans because they were like new, they used to be so tight I couldn't wear them. I was looking forward to be able to put them on. I got them out yesterday to try to see if they would fit, and horrors of horrors, they are too big!!! I couldn't even get them to stay up comfortably with a belt. I'm crushed because now they have to go to the good will and I didn't even get to wear them!!! Oh well, I suppose that is a good thing. People have finally noticed that I'm losing weight, one at church and one saleslady at work. I told them thank you and yes it is hard work. I've lost 45lbs and I know I should be proud of that but somehow doesn't feel like enough. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others but sometimes it's hard not to get weight loss envy. I was sort of complaining the other day and my son said to me that even though I'm losing weight I still look good and healthy unlike two of his co-workers that had the bypass procedure, he says they've lost a lot of weight but look like they've been sick. So i guess that losing slowly isn't so bad as long as I look healthy. I'm off all BP meds now, and have reduced my diabetes meds in half, Doc says probably will be off all soon. I am waiting to go back for another sleep study to see if I can go off my CPAP, I can't wait to get rid of it. I have 4 lbs to go before I hit one-derland, I can wait I'm so close.... but probably another 2-3 weeks. Oh well, slow and steady....

HEY there!
 
i am 3 weeks and 4 days out from surgery... and on a stall! i know to be positive and everything, but i just want to be like SERIOUSLY!!!!! i can see it in the tummy that its going down, i know the inches are because i put 3 pairs of jeans in the cant wear bag that needs to goto the donate pile...
 
i joined a slowpitch softball team that plays on sundays and this last sunday was the first game... wow its been 12 years since HS and i sure can tell... i needed a roll cart with air for sure!!!! i have been going to the gym.... DAMN
 
i was so excited to start tho... i get up to bat and totally nerves set in like **** what did i get myself into... i am going to kill myself, but licky me i have insurance lol... well its slow pitch so the ball is no faster than a third grader playing... YEAHHHH!!!! i slam the ball out in the left feild (or i think that is what it was i have forgotten how sad) i was like HELL YEAH the guy dropped it! haha sucker, so i hall off to 1st... as i am running, i start having the running farts like i seriously was farting going to first!!!!!! PRAYING no one heard me lol... pants are able to fall down i was just so excited to get to first! i made it!!!! but then got out at 2nd the next batter...
 
hahah hope you have had a good laugh now!!!!
 
but i am stalling scale has not moved in a week but that is okay... i keep plugging away and going to the gym... i wanted to cheat and not go yesterday but made myself go and was so glad i did!

I did something I didn't think I'd EVER be able to do Saturday night: I attended a bachelorette party for a good friend, jumped on a party bus with 11 other ladies and didn't touch a DROP of alcohol the entire night. Well, ok, there was ONE sip at a comedy club after my friend sent her margarita back twice claiming it had soda in it so I just had to see for myself how truly hideous it was. And it WAS. But that was it! We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. My FAV food in the world. Not a chip passed my lips. No beans. No rice. Just some grilled chicken with a bit of salsa on it and a few black beans. The moral? If I can spend 7 hours on a bus full of crazy drunk people, pass on Mexican, (oh and did I mention there was cake?), pass on cake (I shall leave the "shape" of cake to your imagination) - I CAN DO THIS. Just how tough was this? Oh so hard. Normally I'm the life of the party, and at my current height/weight I can put it away. Bottom line - WILL POWER. One week until surgery. I've turned down fruit, beer (gulp), chips, etc. My size 0, 19 year old daughter left a 1/3 eaten Snickers bar on the counter the other day (who DOES that?!) and I wrapped it up and stuck it away for her later. I wasn't even tempted to finish it as I would have been a month ago. I want to be healthy more than I want the 2 second gratification of tasting chocolate. The other thing I'm learning is that food is for FUEL, not for emotions. Old me: "Hey! It's sunny! I need a bowl of cereal! Oh crap, it's raining, I should probably make a pot of pasta and have 3 huge bowls. Look at that, I'm sad - better grab some chips and dip" (you get the idea). Now I'm listening to my tummy for cues that it needs fuel. Let me close this post by saying - to know me is to know how hard this has been and will be for me. BUT I'm doing it and so can you. Stay positive - eye on the prize.

Waking up at 2am and trying to get out of bed is painful as hell.
 
I don't have a normal bed with a frame that's all purdy. It's a bed and box spring. No headboard or nothing.
 
I kinda miss the remote for the bed, it would help me stretch and move the gas around. Now i have 6 pillows propping me up, lol. One of those pillows is used as a cat guard. They've been trying to lay on me.
 
 

I'm 2 and 1/2 months out of surgery and 62 lbs down. I went shopping for the first time a couple of weeks ago and bought size 16's! Last time I went 22's were tight! It made me so happy that one of my big goals is within reach - shopping in 'regular' stores.
 
I'm jogging 3 miles now and really finding it rewarding and a wonderful excuse to have some "ME" time away from Dear Husband and my 4 boys.
 
I survived the Iowa State Fair today just fine. I took a bite or two from my favorite things then DH ate the rest. I didn't even feel the desire to eat like I used to - shocked me!
 
School starts this week, so I'm a bit nervous about seeing everyone again. I've decided to stop explaining my weight loss in terms of 'since surgery' and 'total loss' - I'm just going with total because those first 20 lbs. before the surgery are just as real.
 
Now what to wear the first day back - hmmm . . . maybe I'll post that pic when I finally decide.

My husband & I were talking, and I got a bit emotional about this journey and so thankful for his support.....the poor man, he is my sole support......well, that and VST!
 
He's never asked how much I weighed, but knew I was over 200 pounds. I was 250 in January.....forget about getting to a healthy weight....I was feeling overwhelmed at the possibility at just getting below 200 and feeling I would never reach that goal.
 
Today I weighted in at 217 and got teary eyed when I realized getting under 200 is possible, and it's in sight.....don't know how long it'll take to get there, but am giving it my all.
 
My husband is hurt that I don't wear my wedding band/engagement ring. I already had them sized 5 years after we married...back in 1989....and I refused to have them sized again--unless it's smaller.....felt if I got them sized again to a bigger size it was acknowledging I'll never get to a healthy weight.....and I wasn't going down w/o a fight.
 
He has no clue, but I can now wear my wedding rings......our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks....I plan on surprising him by wearing them....I'm so excited, I want to wear them now....but I don't want to ruin the surprise.....wish me luck!

So...today I am starting my liquid diet. According to surgeon's orders, I am supposed to start 1 week from surgery (i.e., surgery on Aug. 22, start liquids on Aug. 15). I'm starting now because I'm so exhausted by all my food drama. I have been eating like I'm preparing for a frickin' electric chair. Literally eating into a food coma some days. It feels horrible. I know that discipline is going to be part of this new, healthier life so I might as well start this week. If nothing else, it will allow me to break this carb-bender/crazy maker. Also, this is the week of making some pre-surgery changes. I wish I would have done all of this a lot sooner, but I didn't..... So - Monday starts liquid diet. Thursday is my stop smoking date (2 weeks pre-surgery). I CAN DO THIS!
 
God help me.

So heres the thing, I have been a "big boned girl" my whole life. Im 6'1 so people always said " you're not fat you're big boned" My answer was always "Thanks, but bones don't jiggle" So now I've decided its time to do something about it. Lord knows I've tried before and failed so I did my research and came upon the sleeve. I zipped trought the pre cert quickly Tolerated the fluid diet for 2 weeks (minus 1 weak moment when I would've sold my kidney for a cheeseburger) and had the surgery 4 days ago. Doing well Spent 1 day in hospital. Have my 5 little glued incisions on my belly Am a little bruised here and there but all and all doing well. Worse thing that happened so far is the gas. But a little chewable Simithecone and I've burped and farted my way to a happier me. Fingers crossed only good things to follow Have my first follow up with my doctor Tuesday. Curious for the weight in. Friends tell me I've lost weight, I haven't noticed. Fat girl brain!

Source: Sweets, Snacks, Sneaks And Lies
 
This isn't my blog entry.....but it's so wonderfully written and inspiring, I am adding it to my blog so I know where to find it again.....Thank you WriterGirl!

I am on day 2 of my pre op liquid diet. I have to do this for 2 weeks. My husband, who is having the sleeve done with me, only has to do 1 week. Our surgery is August 5th.
 
I wanted to cry today when I heard my stomach growl. But to be honest I cannot remember the last time I heard it growl. I am learning a lot about this body of mine. That is when the pity party started. I feel like crap. How could I have let myself go this far? How come I did not stop the overeating when I only had 50 pounds to lose?? I went through a list of how, why, when....you name it.
 
I then realized that I am being given an opportunity to get my life back. To enjoy things I have not been able to do. To go places I have been uncomfortable going. I am going to be new.....it is all going to be worth it. And the best part is I have my husband there for support. He will be my partner through this new stage of our lives. We will be a team.
 
So I decided to go wash some clothes. To give myself a change of scenery. To wash clothes I may not be able to wear again someday....

I bought organic produce today and added some new things to my protein shake. I put the following in the blender
 
1 scoop of Market Pantry's chocolate whey protein shake
3 heaping tablespoons of fatfree vanilla yogurt
1/3 of a raw beet sliced
1/2 of a raw cucumber sliced
2 large strawberries
1 handful of blueberries
ice
 
It is very good. I deem it a success!

I finally got moved off liquids and on to purees and soft foods after week 4. I have continued to have my espresso protein shake almost every morning, because it satisfies my coffee craving. I use 1 cup of skim milk, 1/2 cup of plain Greek yogurt, 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder (I use Syntrax Nectar), and about 1 tbsp of Cafe Bustelo instant espresso crystals dissolved in a little warm water. Stick everything in the blender bottle, shake & go. 250 cals, 45g protein, 18g carbs.
 
I have moved very gently into more solid foods like fine chicken salad and scrambled eggs. So many folks seem to have trouble with eggs at first, and I am so thankful that I haven't had any issues. I can definitely feel the restriction more with solid foods than with liquids. Everybody told me to expect that, but I was still worried that somehow I would be 'different' and be able to take in more than I was comfortable with.
 
On my 4th week anniversary on the 19th, I was down 40 lbs, including the 18 lost on the pre-op diet. That was 5 days ago & the scale hasn't really moved since then. It's been going up & down the same half pound or so, but I'm trying not to let that bother me. All my clothes are stretchy, so I was afraid I wouldn't be able to tell anything by the way my clothes fit, but again that proved to be wrong. I can wear dresses & tops that have been too snug for several years. I can pull off my denim capris without unzipping or unbuttoning them first. (I'm not sure when that might come in handy, but I can do it.) I have a party to go to next week & I pulled out a cute dress I haven't worn in 5 years. Not only does it fit perfectly, but it looks REALLY great. Another bonus...maybe because I'm not very far out, my "girls" are still holding their own. My waist & belly look and feel smaller, but up top is still an attractive feature. Best of all, though, I'm walking and moving much easier. I have been trying to walk at the mall every couple of days & I'm doing some light weights at home. About every 3rd time I exercise, I notice that I can either do just a little more, or the same amount is easier. I have started parking farther away from entrances & I think I may even stick my handicapped hang tag in the glove box.
 
I'm still on soft foods for another week or so, but I'm plenty satisfied with what I'm able to eat now. I haven't tried fish yet (other than canned tuna or sardines), but I plan to try some salmon this week. My next big milestone is to eat out in a restaurant, and I think fish will be a good thing to start with. Mostly I'm just happy to be feeling good & strong & on my way to a better me!

Oh my gosh, I went into the attic to take down my old clothes......I knew I probably had 2 sizes worth......I really wasn't ready for what I found up there......it looks like a hoarder got a hold of my hallway.....
 
I don't know how well you can see it, but these are most of the clothes that were in the attic....yes there are more (but not much)......the pile is about 7 feet long, and 2 feet high, and most of it is in those space age vacuum bags.....yikes!
 
Now, I have 45 minutes to find a home for it before DH comes home and has a cow (he is as neat as they come) LOL
 
The question is do I 1) quickly hide them; 2) fess up; or 3) throw them into the car and madly drive to Goodwill, drop them off and buy what I need as I lose weight? I'm kind of liking the last idea, except is in direct conflict with my typical frugal nature.....
 
I don't know what made me do it today, other than I have the energy to do it.....I suppose I should have vacuumed instead LOL It's hot as anything up there, and now I'm soaking....I have water droplets on my glasses..
 
So, here's the picture......blurry as it is

It's funny how things work out. One day, you go to the doctor for a sinus infection you can't shake, 7 days later you are scheduled for surgery.
 
Let me tell you how I got there. Just after my birthday last month I started feeling rotten. No matter what I took I was not getting better. I had ear and throat ache, headache, congestion, the whole bit. Then I got sick to my stomach too. The following Monday I decided to go to doctor to get checked out. The doctor gave me an antibiotic for my sinus, a medicine for the nausea and took some blood. A couple of days later his office asked me to come in to talk to me about my results. I thought, that can't be good. Normally if everything's good they just say that or mail you the results. So, I took time off work and went to my doctor. He told me he found a few things that needed to be addressed in my blood work. Here is what he brought up:
 
- Anemia - I started taking iron pills right away.
- Blood Sugar Elevated - He needs to do a more comprehensive test but believes I am in the beginning stages of diabetes. (I have a family history of it through my mom, grandma, etc.)
- Liver Enzymes are elevated
- Pancreatic Enzymes are elevated
 
The doctor sent me to get an ultrasound to check my gallbladder. Based on the results I was scheduled to see a surgeon named Dr. Urmil Shukla to schedule my gall bladder removal surgery. I nervously made my way to his office to hear the details of what was coming. He told me that I had many stones in my gall bladder and it needed to come out very soon. I have never had surgery so the thought of it made me so nervous. Then, while looking over my chart, he saw my already existing high blood pressure, the recent blood work results, my BMI of 42, my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, my constant tiredness and sleepiness and he presented an opportunity.
 
Dr. Shukla explained that while he removes my gall bladder he could also do a "Sleeve Gastrectomy". I gave him a puzzled look. He explained the purpose of the surgery and told me how much it could benefit me to have it done. He gave me some paperwork, told me to think about it and let him know what I decide.
 
I spent the next week researching the surgery, his credentials on this type of surgery, the cost and how I could make something like this happen. I have dieted before, even lost almost 50 pounds one time. But eventually I gained it all back. I am now a mother of two adopted daughters that I love so much and I want to be here for them. I want to be healthy. I want to keep up with them when we play. I want to be able to say "YES!" when they want to do something fun that requires a lot of energy. I want to have enough room on my lap for them to comfortably sit down. I want to desire to be in pictures with them not just take pictures of them.
 
After research and several conversations with my husband, we decided to move forward with both surgeries. In the midst of my research I read that having any kind of infection (including an abscessed tooth) will keep you from getting a surgery. I had a toothache for a while so went to the dentist and found out that I have two infected teeth that are beyond saving and need to be extracted. I was put on an antibiotic and two days later I went to get the two teeth removed. One tooth was easy, the other had to be surgically removed. The teeth are pretty much healed now.
 
Just two days after removing my teeth I went on a mission trip for one week. I just got back on Saturday night. It has been one crazy ride! Today I went to the doctor's office and the hospital to pay my portion of the surgeries. My surgeries are scheduled for this Friday, July 26, 2013. I am nervous and excited! I pray everything goes well and there are no complications. If you pray, please pray with me.
 
I am glad to have found this community of people who are changing their lives one day at a time. I have read many encouraging blogs so far, seen many wonderful before and after photos and found some funny videos too! I can't wait to see what else I can learn from this strong group of people!

Two days away and I will have crossed the finish line.
 
Today I have been eating SF Popsicles all day along with broth. I don't fell hungry. I just could not drink another Slimfast! I plan on having SF jello for tomorrow. I will be packing shortly. I'm so excited. I don't want to over pack. I have to drag that stuff three flights up once discharged. So light is the way to go.
 
Thinking of wearing a maxi dress or draw string shorts; Simple comfortable clothes. Hope it's not super hot when I'm discharged. I plan to walk the hall until my first post op visit. Then if all cleared I can do the stairs and I can walk the track.
 
I also wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts as well as the great advice and feedback to all the sleevers on this site. It has been a great help.
 
Continued success on this journey!
 
Karen

This summer has been so crazy that time has flown by! Now I am only a few days out. This all hit me this week and I began to panic. So I had a little pep talk with my friend who had the sleeve over 3 years ago. She made me feel so much better! I have been freaking out all week! I have strict orders to call her when I freak out the next few days. She has done great with it and lost tons of weight and says she feels better now than when she was in her 20s. She did mention that after about 18 months she started to slip with diet. She could eat whatever she wanted and more than ever before. She said she is still battling with sweets and sodas. She never had a craving after surgery until she had a moment of weakness 18 months out and let herself indulge. Since then candy and soda are her vice and she has to watch it. She is still skinny (5'6" 135) but said she put on a few pounds by backsliding. She said this is a TOOL, to me like 1000sX... she was starting to sound like my DR! I just love her! Anyway things are all a go and I have all my vitamins and protein ordered. Still gotta get a few things but I am ready!
Still hanging on with the pre-op diet. (I am lucky though only liquids day before)This pre-op diet has had its moments still (mostly my husband taunting me with all the bad foods) but I am doing it and weighed today and I have lost 9 pounds in not even 2 weeks! I have been following it but I am not tracking my calories or carbs. I have just been eating lean protein (nothing fried or battered) and approved veggies. Lots of cheeses no butter. I have not had ANY bread, pasta, or potatoes! That's a victory in it's self! I am allowed 30 grams of carbs so I use that with sugar free chocolates(my treats). I get 3 bite size pieces a day for a total of 21 carbs. I am sure I have a few extra carbs in my foods to equal 30. I also try to add in a protein drink most days to up the protein. Hope that what I am doing is good enough. I hate calculating everything I eat. I did that with WW and I am over it! I was worried I was not doing it correctly but after my weigh in I think I am right on track.
So now I just keep truckin on until surgery 5 DAYS FROM NOW!

In May I wore a skirt that was rather snug. Today I put on the same skirt and i can spin the waist band around without any problem. It looks wonderful!
 
The pounds are falling away and the dress sizes right along with them. What a great feeling. I can only imagine what it will be like after surgery.
 
The Salvation Army and Goodwill are going to receive tons of clothes from me soon. So excited. I can't wait to purge the closets. I have planned to start with my winter clothes. All 22/20 are going out the door.
 
I have a pair of jeans that I keep as motivation. I try them on once a month. I plan to try them on Sunday before surgery so I can see how far I've come to my goal.
 
Let them fall is what I say, let them fall!

I want to look fabulous when I hit the operating table in 4 days. It's a little vain, but is so rare that I am. I figured I would get a hair cut tomorrow, then once home dye my hair. I want to shave the legs and pits (doc said no shave two days before surgery), and have my feets loved on some.
 
Mind you, I will look like a freight train hit me or at least may feel like it once out of recovery, but when I do feel better these will be things done to the 3 weeks I am off I will be ok. The blood thinners should be finished by then as well and on my last day of recovery do it all again in order to return to work .
 
I want to find a nice dress my new body show-off. LOL
 
My excitement is just starting to build. My niece surprised me and is doing better and has opted to take a week off of work to stay with me. I could just cry I am so happy. I plan to do something really nice for her.
 
Well I'm off to a SF drink. This hot weather has me sucking up fluids.

I jogged for the first time today since last Sept. It felt SO good. It was immensely easier without the extra 50 lbs and I was hardly out of breathe. I feel so strong and powerful. I jogged 2 miles without stopping then walked the rest of the half mile home to cool down. Dear Husband bought the XBox work out program for me and it was fun to 'play' last night - especially with the boys cheering me on. I'm going to work on these flabby abs and arms and also try yoga to get more flexible. (Was a gymnast in another lifetime ions ago.) My legs are looking awesome and my husband is all about my 'new' body!
 
I'm down 31 since surgery, 50 since heaviest, only 2 lbs away from a huge, exciting mile stone - 200! I can't wait to be less than that tormenting number. I can't remember the last time I was below 200.
 
Going to a get-together with work friends in two days. They haven't seen me yet, so a bit nervous/excited. Don't have a clue what I'll wear. I want to go shopping, but I'm afraid this flabby belly will keep in a huge size.
 
I feel so optimistic for my future. My diabetes is basically GONE! The MS is behaving. I'm enjoying exercising again and I'm dealing with the food monster just fine. I'm going to recreate my body into what it should have been all these years. Life is good.

It has been almos ten weeks since I was sleeved and I have been having frequent moments of thankfulness for this gift:
 
My husband can wrap his arms around me when we hug
My feet don't hurt anymore first thing in the morning so I don't hobble around
My brain isn't so foggy at work
I am gaining confidence
I can tie my gym shoes without losing my breath
I don't crave nor miss sweets
My ankles aren't swollen at the end of the day every day
So I bought some cute sandals and got a teal pedicure!
My eyes look bigger and not "hooded" anymore
So I bought new make up and feel beautiful (lovely husband says I have always been beautiful even - and especially - without make up. Love love love him!!!)
No more buffalo hump
No one has been negative
I don't snore anymore (that one never gets old!)
Not one migraine
I have more flexibility
I am more inclined to go to the gym
My husband said I get up from the couch or bed faster and no longer use my arms to brace or balance myself (I never even realized I did that before)
I feel younger
My friends and colleagues have been so supportive and complimentary, which feels good
My clothes are almost all too big, even the ones that were too small two months ago
 
I am just so lucky and thankful for getting through the surgery safely, the first part of recovery that was so scary in the week after, having no complications and getting to this point. If I never lose another ounce, I am so much better off than I was before surgery for so many years. I am now 197 lbs and the size 16 clothes that I have are too big (I plan to go shopping this weekend). When my husband married me nine years ago I was 206 so he has never known me any smaller or healthier. He always said he wanted us to go running together but I never thought that could happen. Now it seems possible. I just signed up for a 5K in January 2014 and have started training for it already. That is a huge deal for me.
 
I am not interested in perfection because that is unrealistic. I am happy to be healthier and to appreciate the mobility that I am gifting to my future golden years. I heard somewhere that thankfulness is essential for good mental health and happiness. So, I am truly grateful for my life and the second chance that I have been given to live it.
 
 
 

I must admit, I'm a "closet" sleever.
 
No family or friends know what I'm about to do because I choose not to share. i feel ashamed that i cannot lose the weight on my own. I've been trying for years only to regain the loss weight & then some.
 
My mother has been petite & tiny all of her life, so shes never understood my plight. If she knew, oh would I hear it... Yup, even at the age of 49, she still tries to be controlling. Our phone discussions are never about life events initially, the 2nd-4th question from her is, "HOW IS YOUR WEIGHT?". {I cringe at this question}
 
My friends are all shapes & sizes. My smaller friends call WLS a cop out. My overweight and obese friends say they're ok with their weight, but they're always on a "diet".
 
Instead of acceptance & encouragement, I'm sure I would receive critcism & hateration...{Hateration= a form of jealously and negative emotion about your situation or circumstance, b/c individual isn't able to obtain/acheive the same success}
 
The "excuse" I plan to use with all (including coworkers) is, I had my gallbladder removed & I'm now watching what I eat with a high protien & low carb diet with excercise incorporated within.
 
Yes....... this is my story & my truth. MY truth shall set me free.
Thanks for stopping by...I now feel a little lighter, less burdened.

I can cross my legs while sitting.
 
I stood up at church to pray, bowed my head and realized that all I could see was my boobs....no belly sticking out further than my boobs!
 
The steering wheel can be lowered while I drive.
 
I walked 3/4 of a mile today without panting and thinking I was having a heart attack.
 
I make still look like Shamu but I am feeling like Flipper!

I'm into week 3 and I'm 21 lbs down since surgery 40 since my heaviest. Eating less than 1/4 of a cup of food at meals, which doesn't amount to many calories, so still struggling with fatigue. BUT - I am walking a mile now in my 30 minutes of required daily walking. (PITIFUL, I know, since I used to jog 3 miles in 45 minutes.)
 
So I called the nurse to ask when I can swallow pills again and found out I have 3 more weeks of the nasty liquid/chewable crap. She shared with me that I really HAVE to get the 60 grams of protein in a day OR ELSE my hair will start falling out. So now I'm serious. Back to the gross protein drinks.
 
Thinking about going to Goodwill to find some shorts since mine are about to fall off. HOORAY!
 
My belly STILL looks like a train wreck, but oh well, I'll not be wearing a bikini anytime soon.
 
And I think I might have found a shoulder under all my vanishing fat!
 
Looking forward to finding a WAIST eventually.

It' will be close to a year in a few weeks. I've not had the weight loss results as most have reported here. I'm seeing >100 lbs being reported by a lot of my peers. I' not even close to 100 lbs, but on the healthcare front I've remained off my insulin, no longer sleep with my CPAP and have managed to stay relatively free of bing eating.
 
I'm very disappointed in that I've not maintained an excercise regimen that would be considered a "Life Style Change." I did have some good starts and stops and right now I'm decidedly at STOP. I just don't have the motivation stay on an exercise regimen. I always end up hurting myself in some way, then that give me clearance to give up.
 
In Oct 2012 I was in the hospital with stroke like symptoms, literally paralyzed on my left side. They r/o a stroke and after 2 days of tests, released me to neurologist for f/up care with dx of hemiplegic migraine. Code word for I don't know WTH is wrong, but she has had migraines in the past, so let's roll with it. I was on restrictions for about 2 month while they tried to figure out what's wrong. All my feeling returned before discharge, but I had total numbness in the last 3 fingers on my left hand. After testing for everything from carpal tunnel syndrome to pinched nerves in my arm and shoulder, the prize-winner neurologist came back with I can give you some cream that may work, I can send you to therapy with sometimes helps, or it may just fix itself on it's on........BUT I see you've not had a sleep study in a while and your plan will bay for it, so let me set you up for a new one. OK. Dr. Neuro's office begins calling me weekly to setup this darn sleep study....I finally told them to NEVER call me again. I still have trouble typeing and my left hand it still giving me problem.
 
I'm hoping I'm not a stroke risk, but the PCP says get going with the excecise again. In February I start back walking. Doing good. Sporadic, but I'm getting it in at least 2-3 times a week. Weight going down, have to finally buy some new clothes because my black leggings are falling off an my colorful fat girl "pop of color" tops are looking like flour sacks on me 'cause they're too big. I have a chronic pain in my left foot and ask for an x-ray, my PCP says there's nothing remarkable but I may have small bone spurs that will just be a chronic issue for me. SUX.
 
I start feeling a little soreness in my left leg, it evolves into a limp, but I'm thinking it's just me getting back on the track and I ben-gay it up and bear down. I'm down to 1-2 times a week, but I'm keeping it moving. Garage sale Saturday, I'm digging for treasures and a radiating pain hits my left leg. I can't walk. I yell. The ppl help me to my car and my mom starts freaking me out telling me it's probably a blood clot and I'm going to die if I don't get to an ER soon (She has a flare for the dramatic).
 
I go to the ER and they r/o a blood clot, discharge to my PCP for follow-up the next day. PCP rotates my leg and refers me to an Ortho Surgeon the next day stating he thinks I'm going to need surgery. Now I"m on crutches. Ortho assesses and no surgery. Just 1 week of total bed rest. I have a grade 2 calf muscle strain!
 
 
I'm off my feet for a week and come back, it's healing, but still not out of the weeds for abt 6 weeks so take it easy but do what you can.....To me that translates into DO NOTHING, and I've been faithful to that regimen for about 2 months now. WTH? Really Elle? You going to cop out like that? Why YES I AM. Disappointed in myself, but yes. I did that.
 
Now I'm at the year mark and reflecting. I want to hit the century mark. I'm wanting a 1XX versus a 2XX at my weigh in. I hope to reach the 100s in about 6-8 months. Kick-off date is July 1,2013. Please pray for me that I can keep this new goal in sight.
 
 
I do have concerns that I may have a hernia or something because I feel I am able to eat more than I should in one sitting. As long as I don't drink anything while eating I'm fine. I've drank alcohol sparingly w/o any trouble. I don't do well with chicken or ground beef.
 
Bread and butter is my weakness, but I can only eat a little bit of it at a setting. I have been bad and do drink from straws on occasion.
 
My new guilty pleasure is McCafe Hazlenut Lattes and Caramel Frappes. I also enjoy the egg white delight breakfast combo. I can eat the hashbrown and mcmuffin in one sitting (I just throw away one of egg mcmuffin slices).
 
I can honestly say the term "use VSG as a tool" not a solution is a great message. You will not drop an insane amount of weight just from having this procedure. You have to work at it and change. My health is better and I will praise this procedure to the mountain tops, but you must be willing to put in the work to get the pounds off. My mother recently had the procedure and is doing well. She was not nearly as obese as me, so I'm excited to see if a little competiton will help boost me on the walking track.
 
Her start weight is my current weight! So we're even in getting out of the gate. My mom had a lot more stuff broken in her health wise so I"m elated that she finally did the procedure.
 
My marriage is struggling at the moment. Not heading for divorce or anything, just facing some challenges with a blended family. We're working through it, but I'm feeling my old urges and our lack of intimacy isn't helping things at all. I hate being mad all the time.
 
Work is sucking as well. I don't know if I should move on or stay with them. My company has great benefits but I'm working 16-20 hour days and not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. It's shockingly overwhelming.
 
Any way in closing. 1 year has been faced with several set-backs, but I'm optimistic that I can refocus and get back on track. Besides my husband and kids, the VSG decision remains one of the best decisions I've made in life. I think I bought myself more years on this earth by just choosing to not die of morbid obesity complications.
 
This board has been most helpful in letting me know I'm not alone and others are in the struggle with me and offering support.
 
Thank you all

So this week has been pretty hard, but yesterday I realized some of my pain is already gone, and that's amazing! For a couple of months I had been getting bad, all-day-all-night pain in both hips/thighs, almost like a constant muscle soreness except minus the exercise that usually causes that sort of thing. When I was making my list of NSVs for the first time, I put that one up top. It was so bad some days I felt hobbled, and I'm 26. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it gone.
 
Yesterday I stood up to walk around and realized that I had just stood up with no. Pain. Not only that, but I had BEEN standing up with no pain all day, and my relatively pain-free state has thus far continued. HELL YES. As hard as this first week is, I have this little victory to hang on to.
 
My other little victories/goals, scale and non-scale, in the rough order in which I hope to achieve them:
Get below 250. I've been above 250 for a year.
Start a series of every-morning pictures when I go back to work.
Fit into my favorite pants again (the size 18s that had started to hurt when I wore them)
Get below 230. I've been over 230 for a year and a half.
Find an exercise I like!
Get below 220. I've been over 220 for three years.
Buy NEW favorite pants ;]
Review my series of every-day pictures: six-month mark
Have my ankles and knees not ache every 8 hour standing shift I do at work.
Get below 210, which I haven't been under since I started college in 2005.
Donate most of my too-big clothes. (keeping some for comparison!)
Feel -- not even see, just feel! -- my hip bones again. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE GUYS.
Get below 200. I've been over 200 lbs since 17.
Fit into a pair of size 14 pants.
Get below 190. My lowest weight ever in my adult life was 187 at 16 years old, and I looked good. It's a shame I didn't know how good I looked, actually, but that's what you get when you're a slightly body-dysmorphic teenager. Sure, I was still pudgy, but I was awesome pudgy and I should have flaunted.
CELEBRATE THAT ****.
Get below 180 -- uncharted territory!
GOAL: 175-170