Caaattt

I'm learning my way, so I apologize in advance for the repition. This was posted yesterday
 
I've been struggling with my weight since I was a child...Always gaining and never losing.
 
Excercising, watching what I ate. Green Juicing & organic eating. Cutting back the salt, decreasing the sugar, omiting the bread, bagels & donuts. Stoping the fast food quick trips, increasing the steamed veggies, and loving fish & fowl.
 
Drinking water, carrying water. Drowning in water. I have water in my car, my desk drawer, a bottle in my purse...It became my newest accessory.
 
I've done Nutri System, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and starving. I've used videos, joined classes at the gym, water aerobics, kick boxing, walking & jumping rope around the track. With minimal results, I started crying, lost hope & then binge eating.
 
I have high blood pressure, sore knee joints, an achy back, & a sad spirit. Yet I continue to smile on the outside, because fluffy people are supposed to be happy & jovial.
 
I'm a 49 y/o female that needed help.
 
I started my journey January 2013 by attending a Bariatric Center of Excellence Seminar in the area. It motivated me & I realized this was the help I needed. I immediately signed up and went to my 1st appointment in Feb 2013.
 
I followed the instructions of my insurance carrier, jumped through all of their hoops, crossed my T's, dotted my I's and was still declined the sleeve in May 2013. I questioned, how can that be when I'm in such bad shape?
 
The Bariatric Center of Excellence filed an appeal on my behalf June 2013.
 
I received a call yesterday.
My appeal was approved, YAY!
Anxiously awaiting 2mrrw to schedule my Sleeve Day. I'm grinning from the inside out!!
 
Please be my support.... Thank you for allowing me to share.

I just wanted to post about my experience last week. We decided to take my 2 year old daughter to the water park that is near my house. I have never been there because I have been extremely overweight for the past 4 years of my life. I always worried about climbing and things falling out and just being totally uncomfortable.
 
Over the past 5 months I have lost 80 pounds and boy has it made a difference. I don't think it is just the weight loss, but my strength training as well. I lift weights 4x a week at a bare minimum and I really think that it has made a world of difference.
 
I had it planned in my head that I could only make it for 3 hours because I would be tired and I ended up staying there for 6 hours!!! I had no problem with stairs, slides, swimming, climbing, and I even carried this massive tube up the mountain!
 
All of this really hit me when I went down the lazy river. I hopped up on the tube and laid down in it and put my daughter on my belly. I didn't even give it a second thought...I just did it. As we started flowing down the river, I noticed this very large man behind me trying to climb in the tube like I did. Well, he tried over and over and over again. He didn't make it and eventually tried to stick his body in the donut hole part of the tube, but his body was too large. It made me sad that he was struggling. He eventually gave up and just walked the tube and himself down the river until the end. It was at that point that I realized that would have been me struggling, probably feeling embarrassed. I was very appreciative of my progress.
 
I am very proud of my 80 pound loss! I even more proud of myself that I go to the gym 6 days a week and can do 90 minutes of straight intense cardio. I used to think to myself, "why is everyone losing faster? Why are those people who don't exercise losing faster than me? or those who are older or weigh less than me losing faster?"
 
Now, I am truly at peace with my pace of loss. The scale does not reflect the muscle I have built. The scale does not show how much strength I have gained. The scale does not measure my progress.
 
The scale is an instrument affected by so many factors! It is affected by the slant of the floor, my sodium intake, my time of month, inflammation, water intake, water loss, female hormones. I think it is funny that I depend on an instrument that is so unreliable.

I was sitting around today thinking about my surgery and those that have been supportive and those that have not or would not be.
 
A year ago when I began thinking about undergoing the surgery I approached a friend. I began asking his opinion about the surgery. when he said you don't need it you just need to diet and keep at it. I sat looking at him as if he had lost his mind, he is over six feet tall and grossly over weight. He has a bad habit of eating food from the plate of his son when he does not finish his meal. But he knows my diet habits?
 
I let the subject drop and have not said word about it since. I went to my information session to decide if this was the choice for me and was encouraged that it was.
 
As the year has gone by he has seen me and is always in my cabinets. He is quick to notice there is not any junk food or bad snacks. He noticed the various protein drinks and asked what I was doing with them. I told him i was experimenting with favors and staying my course on my diet.
 
All of this to say is that I am keeping secrets from those that are friends. I don't want to be judged by them even when I feel I have been judged.
 
One of my own sisters thinks I should just keep dieting and that the surgery is extreme. My feeling is that of course she would she's never been obese.
 
To be fair I have told five people and they have been most supportive and from this I am happy. My overall happiness is my responsibility and I'm very happy with my decision to a better way of living.
 
I do worry that once I start dropping weight that the cat will be out of the bag. But until that time I will be keeping my secret.
 
 
 

So tomorrow's the big day. Started the liquid diet yesterday and surprisingly it's not too hard. Bet it will be more difficult in three weeks. Still nervous, but becoming more resigned to the fact everything is going to change. I have read and planned as much as humanly possible. Now it's time to walk the walk. Praying I will be strong enough to make this a life long change. Can be scary sometimes when my support group is full of people who have gained weight back from bypass and lapband. I've been thinking about seeing a counselor to deal with some of the emotional aspects of WLS. I just really want this so bad. Now that some family and friends know I'm going to this extreme, what if I screw this up. What if I miss having birthday cake or my mom's famous fried chicken or my sister's potato salad. I know I sound like an idiot or at least like an addict, but sometimes it's so scary to think I won't have my favorite foods again. OMG, I'm such an addict. Maybe these thoughts are why I need surgery .

My post-op week one update. It was a very hard week. I may have down played it in this video. One curse word.
 
http://youtu.be/T3bzDGZniVM

Good morning....
 
Day six found me feeling fine physically. I drove. I grocery shopped. I took the kids to McDonald's.
 
Being in the kitchen is hard for me. I have children that must be fed. While preparing plates of burgers and chips for my two youngest kids, I dropped a chip on the counter. I reflectively reached down and popped it in my mouth. Of course I immediately spit it out. However, the incident left me wondering.....
 
This morning I woke with an epiphany!
 
What I am going through each day post-surgery is the major reason that patients must go through "training" for surgery. All of the nutrition training was to help with the actual - in your face - reality that I cannot, under any condition, pop chips or anything else in my mouth without thinking. Nutrition training was to help train my mind to tune out the billions of food commercials as I watch TV during my recovery. Nutrition training was giving me a foundation or a home base to turn to when I feel that I must have something to eat or I will die. Nutrition training was to give me something to think about and cling to when my mind is going crazy and I panic because today's stress cannot be fixed by food.
 
Had I not had the time before surgery hearing about and thinking about what I must do after surgery, I would be a big fat failure. I would have been one of the people who cheats themselves by eating what shouldn't be eaten and stretched my stomach right back out to hold my dear and faithful friend, Food. I am not one of those and refuse to succumb to the overwhelming temptation to do so. I will hold on to my goal and let my goal be my friend. (My goal is to be healthy and active.)
 
I will survive. I am woman. Hear me roar! (You have to be over 50 to get this.)

I almost finished my first one without stopping, it was so good. The chocolate shakes deserve 2 thumbs up in a Z formation!
 
Very good taste, no grittiness. I like them better than the EAS chocolate carb control shakes. Although I do wish both brands were a little thicker.
 
I've tried Muscle Milk, EAS, Pure Soy and Premier Protein chocolate shakes and Premier Protein has been the best for flavor and smoothness. Very yummy, almost as good as chocolate milk.
 
Price wise, they are a little more expensive than EAS. EAS are 4 for $5 at Walmart. Premier Protien was 12 for $19 at Sam's Club (my Walmart didn't carry Premier).
 
But as good as Premier tastes, I will won't mind paying a little more. I only wish Sam's had the Premier Protein bars as well - but they were sold out. Maybe next trip.
 

How many ups and downs are there on this "ride" put on by our insurance companies? I knew there were going to be hoops to jump thru, but how was I to know the hoops would change along the way!!! Let's see here is how my journey began, almost 6 months ago....
 
First met with my primary care doc, who once again said I might want to "think" about losing weight. Really, he said this like I have no idea that I am overweight, no wait obese, morbidly obese and he is introducing a new idea to me. I have (like everyone here) attempted, succeeded and regained, failed and basically had no success. But in a way he had, I had been looking into wls for several months and I came to the decision before ever entering his office that day that I was going to have to have wls to stay healthy. This "come to jesus" meeting about my weight was in the beginning of February. My insurance told me that I needed to have three visits no more than 2 months apart for the "supervised" diet to be considered supervised. So I planned my next visit in April, well within 2 months.
 
Then I am told that no I have to see the dr monthly for six months, this came from my surgeon, I called the insurance company and confirmed no not every month only three months.
 
So I continue and now I am told by my insurance that it is 3 visits in 6 months no more than 4 months apart. Oh for the love of it all.....if I didn't have a grasp on the requirements I would go insane and never meet their requirements. But I took a deep breath called again and cleared up the visit requirements a final time, and then started talking money.
 
This opened another can of worms as I have a maximum out of pocket of 1500.00 per year and this surgery will well exceed that (hospital stay alone) so the surgeon, anesthesiologist, etc will be paid 100%. Well my surgeon was wanting $900 before he would do the surgery and the hospital was wanting 1500.00 and the gas man wanted 500.00. What part of MAXIMUM OUT OF POCKET do these people not get. I have the money to pay but I will not be worried about getting refunds on top of my recovery diet and exercise. I found out that if I pay the hospital on the day of admission they will give me a 25% discount on my portion/responsibility!! Well of course, I will pay so this left the surgeon....hmmmm how do I explain this to them. I told them why I was going to pay the hospital instead of him, his office was very understanding, I was surprised it was easy, I mean really easy they agreed that I would not owe them the 900! The first thing that went my way, yeehaw. I actually did the happy dance.
 
So come July 9, my paperwork will be submitted I will be waiting on the utilization review department to give the thumbs up, waiting on the beginning of the rest of my life. Let's hope it is the first week of August

Ok, the good news. I graduated from walking indoors to walking outdoors. Now the bad news. Monarch butterflies are bullies!
 
I've finally gotten enough endurance and stamina to start walking outdoors. I still don't like exercising, but I do like the effects. And I just can't make myself use either my recumbent bike or treadmill - they're just too boring. And besides, the computer is just 10 feet away the whole time, pouting from lack of attention. Did I mention that my Dell is an attention wh*re?
 
So I have to get outside to walk. I have a state park just a few miles away and there are some nice nature trails that are about 1 mile in length.
 
I've only been out there with my best friend. That way, if we run into a bear or wolf, I don't have to outrun the critter, I only have to outrun my friend!
 
But this week, my friend is out of state, visiting his sister in Ohio. So it was questionable if I was going to motivate myself to get out and walk today at the park. But I mustered up the energy and drove out to the park.
 
So here we go. I got my bright yellow shirt, the $5 forest green cap that I picked up in Alaska (is says, "If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes!") and shades. Oh goodie, I look like a guy cruising the park looking for other guys - that has been known to happen at this park.
 
Luckily for me the park was almost deserted and even better, no one was on the trails. So I started my normal route. Around the lake, skirt the canal and head back to the car through the flat areas.
 
There are some ups and down areas that I think help strengthen my legs and ankles, but not so steep as to cause me pain, or worse, hurtle down hill out of control! Going uphill is no problem. I just don't do down's very well. I'm not good at getting down, boogieing down or going down hill.
 
Anyway, back to my story. I was minding my own business, walking the trail, hugging the shade, and lost in my own thoughts when suddenly a black shape swoops out of the woods. Mere inches from my left arm.
 
And I did what any manly man would do. I flinched and started windmilling my arms (oops, I meant to say, "used my master karate skills"), to swat away whatever that deadly critter was - to keep it's venomous fangs away from my throat!
 
A lifetime later (or about 3 seconds in real time), I realized it was just a huge Monarch butterfly fluttering by. He casually fluttered across the trail and back into the woods. But I swear, this was no ordinary butterfly. I think it was a Pimp butterfly, cause he fluttered with a limp and was very colorful, like a pimp, and had an attitude. I swear I heard him say, "Punk ass bit*h!" as he fluttered back into the woods.
 
I'm sure he told all his butterfly friends about how he - a 1 ounce butterfly - scared a 280 pound man and made him flinch. I guess I'm lucky he didn't give me two punches for flinching or have a smart phone to capture a video of whole thing. Otherwise, I might be on Youtube ring now, going viral.
 
P.S. The good news is: I managed to walk just over 2 miles AND, as a bonus, got in a killer arm workout. But I fear the psychological scars may never heal.
 
Keep Pimpin that Sleeve!

Prior to surgery I made a list of my non scale victories (NSV) on my iPhone but somehow erased them. So I decided to make a new list. I'll be adding to this as I come up with new ones.
 
 
Buy clothes from a non-plus size store
Purchase bra/panty from Victoria Secret
Get a makeover
Take boudior photos for my honey
Maybe wear a pair of heels
Ride a roller coaster
Walk/run in a marathon
Not be considered obese
Not be afraid to wear a bathing suit
Fit comfortably in a booth at a restaurant
Own and ride a bike (especially long distance)
Go zip-lining
Always use the stairs
Go cart racing
Dance in public
Sit at a regular desk (in school)
Finish my degree
Go to law school
Volunteer work
Plant a garden/landscape yard
Attend Zumba regularly
Incorporate clean eating in my new lifestyle
Stand on my feet longer than 30 minutes

Yesterday (5-14-13) they finally called and told me the insurance approved my WLS. WOO HOO!
 
We had to go back and forth with the clinic personnel and the insurance company reps over and over to get everyone on the same page. Unfortunately we were dealing with an insurance coordinator at the bariatric clinic that was inexperienced. We discovered she had entered and submitted the wrong code twice. Because of that and other mistakes they kept concluding the insurance wouldn't cover the surgery due to being a pre-existing condition. Talk about confusing!
 
I would call, or my husband would and feel like we got everything straight and our insurance company rep kept reassuring us it was covered and all was well. Then we wait again. I guess the people who were to follow up wouldn't read the complete file and were thinking I would have a long waiting period to be covered. They would just go silent until I got worried and called again and again and find out they are still thinking it's not covered. This has happened three times now.
 
Someone didn't read their notes very well. So after many frustrating phone calls with confusing conclusions, my wonderful husband would take them to task and got things done! Three conference calls with the insurance and clinic and my husband all together and now we got the right codes, the right person to understand and things are moving forward. He's my hero!
 
Now, I was supposed to get a call yesterday or today about the WHEN! and.... Oh good grief. I keep getting butterflies in my big 'ole tummy and waiting on the scheduling lady to call me and let me know the date.
 
I'm nervous and happy and worried she won't call and I'll wonder why. Please let it all get done fast and let me get on the final stretch of the waiting race. I want to get to the next phase of my journey to health.
 
On Mother's Day we went out to eat with my folks and two of our seven kids (daughters 23 and 13), and I decided I would have my husband take a picture of us (Me, Mom and my girls) after our meal. Mind you, I normally would NEVER suggest a picture to include me. Part of me wishes I hadn't this time because it literally HURTS to look at what I've let happen. But, I know it's a "Before" picture and I need this to motivate me and reassure me of this path toward a wonderful future I am on.
 
Come on scheduling lady, CALL ME MAYBE? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

I've finally broken my stall after almost 2 weeks, and have lost a lb. a day for the past 3 days! I knew it had to end eventually, and tried not to stress about it, but it was hard! I'm now 224, 50 lbs from my top weight of 274. So excited!

So here I am. I have decided to take a step towards the final frontier of my personal happiness. My health.
 
I have been through a hell of a ride on my journey to today. I have struggled through a dysfunctional marriage to an abusive alcoholic, stood witness to the attack on New York City first hand, narrowly escaped death from sepsis blood poisoning, fought a ten year fertility battle, and buried a friend/lover taken far too young from brain cancer.
 
Life as a human being is hard enough, no wonder I was unable to keep my weight under control – there was too much else to focus on.
 
Today, I am the proud mother of a beautiful two year old boy, I am fulfilled in my 10+ year career with a fantastic company who value my efforts, I own my own home, have a functional car, and am in a relationship with a man whom I have known almost all my life in some capacity… its new… its fresh, but its good. He is kind, and patient and wonderful with my son.
 
The song Good Mother by Jan Arden goes through my head on a daily basis these days – if you don’t know it, check it out on YouTube. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to truly believe that I am finally happy and at peace. There is only one concern left… and that is my weight and my health.
 
I have tried over the years to lose weight and on a couple of occasions have been somewhat successful, most notably loosing 70ish lbs in 2001 on the Dr. Bernstein Diet. But, being predisposed to easily gain, it keeps coming back.
 
Last year I topped my scales (having left my husband 3x in the same year my child was born) at 296! I knew I had to do something and quick.
 
I started an exercise regiment and eating well, and managed to lose 26 lbs in about 4 months. 270 felt pretty good and I started to gain back some confidence in myself and hope for my future.
 
Then suddenly, my guy (who was not my guy at the time) broke up with his girlfriend and landed on my couch!! We were not an item but decided to try and live as roommates until he either found something more permanent or the arrangement was too awkward.
 
Riiiiiiiight. That clearly didn’t and wasn’t going to work. He came with a WHOLE lot of baggage and there were some serious growing pains – the to point where I threw him out of my house in January. That’s what we needed I guess to determine that our friendship (and the stuff that blossomed along with it) was in fact a love neither of us were looking for. But, all that confusion and activity made me put my weight loss on the back burner, yet again.
 
So here I go again, at the start of this year, new diet, new exercise regiment –this is going to be it! I rejoined Weight Watchers (probably for the 18-20th time) and bought myself a treadmill.
 
Starting the year off at 278 I went gang busters being perfectly well behaved with my eating and working out on my treadmill approx 5 times a week at 40 minutes a pop. I was on the move again and dropped to 265.
 
Then suddenly I started suffering from sciatica. So, thinking that the exercise would sort it out, I pushed harder – increasing my efforts to every day and included some workouts on my vibration platform. By the end of February I could no longer sleep or stand for long periods of time without pain.
 
Turns out I have something called Piriformis Syndrome. Apparently what is happening is a muscle that attaches somewhere in my butt and hip is clenching up when I exercise and pinching my sciatic nerve. Are you KIDDING ME?

 
So through acupuncture, deep massage therapy and chiropractic, they are still trying to make the muscle ease up… and I have not been able to work out.
 
I continued my diet plan for a while but then threw my hands in the air out of frustration and so here I am - and back up to 277.8. So much effort to lose it, so easily regained.
 
What I do I know is that I have the will and determination to make this work… all I need is the rewarding results for my efforts. One thing that my fella said to me shortly after we started to cohabitate was, "I dont understand with all that you do, and how you eat, how you weight more than 98 pounds!"
 
That sort of outside review is the justification I needed! :wub:
 
This is a big step... and a bit scary... but I am worth this effort, and there is simply put, nothing I wouldn't do for my boy. He deserves a healthy mommy who will be with him a long long time.
 
Let’s do this thing.
 
 
May 10, 2013. Dr. Rodrigues at Star Medica in Juarez.
 
I’m ready.

Good afternoon. As of today April 9, 2013, I have been cleared for surgery. I'm waiting now for my doctor to call with my surgery date. I have to do 2 weeks of Optifast before my surgery but I'm ready for it. I'll keep you posted on the actual date. Anyone else have band to sleeve revision? I see a lot of virgin sleeves, but I want to know what it's like to have the band removed and sleeved at the same time. DEB

I have an appointment tomorrow with my new bariatric surgeon. I have visited my physician and obtained a letter in support of revision surgery. I am also down 4lbs. I know it is not much but at this point I will take whatever I can. I am hoping that I do not have to go through another pysch eval. I am also hoping that my insurance company will take into consideration all of my success and then failure caused by my broken lapband. I am a little nervous and very excited. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I proceed quickly through this revision process.

I got my surgery on the 18th and I did not follow my pre-op diet religiously so this seems drastic to me. i'm excited even though i know a lot is water weight.
Started @ 327 now 301