Chaparra

Had my 3 month appointment on 05/17/13. My doctor says I'm losing weight a little faster than expected, averaging about 3 1/2 pounds a week. I thought WTF? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with that, but I thought it was a little slower than a lot of people. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard not to wonder why others are losing so much more than I am.
 
I went shopping over the weekend because I'm just tired of wearing clothes that don't fit right. What a frustrating experience. I'm still in the plus size section, but just can't seem to find anything that isn't ugly, to my at least. Of course, I'm shopping at stores that the clothes cost a little less because I know I won't be in them long and don't want to spend a lot of money on something that I will grow out of fast.
 
The other issues I'm having is although I look at myself in clothes and can't believe how skinny I look in them, when I take pictures, I still see that "bigger" woman that I was last year. It's hard to get those thoughts out of my mind.
 
I did go dancing on Saturday night, which I hadn't done in about 2 or 3 years and it felt so good to be able to dance through 3 or 4 songs without my ankles hurting or getting tired.

I've been feeling really good about my progress lately, not just the weight loss, but also my physical abilities and what i can now accomplish. I had taken the day off from work yesterday and decided to reward myself. I went to the movies and saw GI Joe 2. I know I shouldn't have bought the popcorn, but I did and just got the smallest size. The sales girl tried to get me to buy the size bigger (she was just doing her job) and although I would have loved it, I refused because I knew I couldn't eat that much and didn't want to take it home with me only to finish it off later. Then she asked the bigger question, do you want butter on that? I said yes (even though I know how bad it is), but I didn't ask her to put some in the middle as I would have before surgery. Ohhhhh....how yummy it was. Half way through the movie and I had only eaten half the bag. I put it down to stop myself from getting sick. I later picked it back up and ate a little more. I had to put it back down again because it was making me feel sick. The movie was almost over and I had the urge to use the bathroom. So glad I was able to finish the movie before rushing out, although I could have waited for this movie to come out on DVD. Not worth the money, even though I did see it in 3D.
 
On my way home, I decided that I was going to make this a "cheat" day for myself. I stopped at my favorite Teriyaki place and got some spicy chicken teriyaki. I also stopped at the local produce stand and got some fruits for the week and vegitables for the soup I planned to make for the weekend. By the time I got home, I was hungry, so I started eating some of the chicken. I didn't touch the rice because I know I shouldn't be eating it, even though this is my cheat day. I probably ate about 4 or 5 pieces of the chicken and had to stop. That chicken ended up being 3 meals for me. Yes, I did eat it again for dinner and the rest of it this morning for breakfast.
 
So, what I'm finding that even though I want to try to eat some of the things that I used to before surgery, I'm still applying some of the teachings my nutritionist taught me, by habit and not from guilt of what I'm eating. I also weighed myself this morning and I'm down 3 pounds, which made me not feel so bad about eating things that aren't so good for me yesterday. I did realize that even though the popcorn tasted amazing, I probably will try it without the butter next time I go to the movies (I don't do it very often). I also realized that the teriyaki that I used to love doesn't taste as good now. Lastly, I know that it's okay to treat myself once in a while and knowing that I still can apply what I've learned to my choices, I still can do it without feeling guilty providing that it's on a rare occasion.
 
Today, I am back on my schedule of making good choices (minus the teriyaki breakfast). By the way, I did eat my normal breakfast for lunch. I'm feeling good, possitive and happy and can't wait to see/feel the changes that will happen through out the next year. =)

Had my 3 month appointment on 05/17/13. My doctor says I'm losing weight a little faster than expected, averaging about 3 1/2 pounds a week. I thought WTF? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with that, but I thought it was a little slower than a lot of people. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard not to wonder why others are losing so much more than I am.
 
I went shopping over the weekend because I'm just tired of wearing clothes that don't fit right. What a frustrating experience. I'm still in the plus size section, but just can't seem to find anything that isn't ugly, to my at least. Of course, I'm shopping at stores that the clothes cost a little less because I know I won't be in them long and don't want to spend a lot of money on something that I will grow out of fast.
 
The other issues I'm having is although I look at myself in clothes and can't believe how skinny I look in them, when I take pictures, I still see that "bigger" woman that I was last year. It's hard to get those thoughts out of my mind.
 
I did go dancing on Saturday night, which I hadn't done in about 2 or 3 years and it felt so good to be able to dance through 3 or 4 songs without my ankles hurting or getting tired.

Thought I would share some pics of right after surgery and today.
 

Thought I would share some pics of right after surgery and today.
 

Met this guy online and we finally decided to go out the weekend before last. I told him about my surgery up front, so that he can understand what's going on with me. We met for coffee, but ended up going out to eat. He first said that we should go to the Mexican place next door, but then changed his mind and said there was a healthier place we can go eat at. I told him he didn't have to decide on a place that's healthier just because of me. Honestly, I really wanted Mexican food badly. LOL We ended up going to this pita sandwich place. It wasn't bad at all. The sandwich I got was under 300 calories. I opted to get the grilled chicken breast to make sure I got a good amount of protein out of it. I was only able to eat half of the sandwich. This sleeve is really hard to get used to, mentally that is.
 
This last weekend, he took me out for breakfast. I had a spinich and cheese omelet. I declinced the toast, but went ahead and let them give me the hashbrowns, but didn't eat them. I ate only half the omelet. Gave me bad stomach pains. I'm thinking I must not have chewed it well enough. The restaurant is owened by this older couple and the lady asked me if I wanted a to go box, but gave me a horrible look when she asked. I so wanted to tell her that the food was really good, I just couldn't eat very much, but I don't think she would have understood.
 
After breakfast, we went to a park and walked around. It was nice to be around someone who is so understanding and suggests that we do things that he knows is not only healthy for me, but also for himself.
 
I really wasn't sure if I was ready to start dating again, but that was mostly because I wasn't sure if men would understand my situation. I am glad that I did find someone who is being supportive and understanding. Can't wait to see where the next date goes....

Had my 3 month appointment on 05/17/13. My doctor says I'm losing weight a little faster than expected, averaging about 3 1/2 pounds a week. I thought WTF? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with that, but I thought it was a little slower than a lot of people. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard not to wonder why others are losing so much more than I am.
 
I went shopping over the weekend because I'm just tired of wearing clothes that don't fit right. What a frustrating experience. I'm still in the plus size section, but just can't seem to find anything that isn't ugly, to my at least. Of course, I'm shopping at stores that the clothes cost a little less because I know I won't be in them long and don't want to spend a lot of money on something that I will grow out of fast.
 
The other issues I'm having is although I look at myself in clothes and can't believe how skinny I look in them, when I take pictures, I still see that "bigger" woman that I was last year. It's hard to get those thoughts out of my mind.
 
I did go dancing on Saturday night, which I hadn't done in about 2 or 3 years and it felt so good to be able to dance through 3 or 4 songs without my ankles hurting or getting tired.

So, I constantly see shows on TV that are about people losing, or wanting, to lose weight. Shows about how the USA has the highest obesity rate ever. When I started thinking about having this surgery, I had many people that had possitive things to say about it and one person that said absolutely don't do it because of the risks. After doing all the research, I realized for me, that the risks outweigh the benefits, plus I believe that if you have a good surgeon, are open and honest with him, and follow all the rules, the risks are very minimal. So, I went to a seminar and decided that this was what I wanted to do. I also decided at that time, that I wasn't going to hide it from anyone that I work with (there are many obese people in my workplace). I wanted to show everyone that it is possible, no matter how many times they thought they couldn't do it or had failed at trying. In June 2012, I had my first nutritional visit. I have very nosey coworkers (that sometimes can be annoying), so after every visit, they wanted to know "how it went." I have explained many things to them and even talked about how using MyFitnessPal had shown me so much of what I was doing wrong and right. I've also said they should try using it to see if it helps them. No one was using it. I had my surgery on 02/11/13 and have had a coworker try to get me to make poor eating choices, my supervisor tell me (in a joking way) that I'm driving everyone crazy with how I look at the label of any snacks that are brought in and explain why I can't eat it, and I've also had coworkers that have been very encouraging and supportive in this life choice/change that I have made. In the last two weeks, I have found out that 3 of my coworkers have started using MyFitnessPal and it made me feel good to know that I've influenced that.

Met this guy online and we finally decided to go out the weekend before last. I told him about my surgery up front, so that he can understand what's going on with me. We met for coffee, but ended up going out to eat. He first said that we should go to the Mexican place next door, but then changed his mind and said there was a healthier place we can go eat at. I told him he didn't have to decide on a place that's healthier just because of me. Honestly, I really wanted Mexican food badly. LOL We ended up going to this pita sandwich place. It wasn't bad at all. The sandwich I got was under 300 calories. I opted to get the grilled chicken breast to make sure I got a good amount of protein out of it. I was only able to eat half of the sandwich. This sleeve is really hard to get used to, mentally that is.
 
This last weekend, he took me out for breakfast. I had a spinich and cheese omelet. I declinced the toast, but went ahead and let them give me the hashbrowns, but didn't eat them. I ate only half the omelet. Gave me bad stomach pains. I'm thinking I must not have chewed it well enough. The restaurant is owened by this older couple and the lady asked me if I wanted a to go box, but gave me a horrible look when she asked. I so wanted to tell her that the food was really good, I just couldn't eat very much, but I don't think she would have understood.
 
After breakfast, we went to a park and walked around. It was nice to be around someone who is so understanding and suggests that we do things that he knows is not only healthy for me, but also for himself.
 
I really wasn't sure if I was ready to start dating again, but that was mostly because I wasn't sure if men would understand my situation. I am glad that I did find someone who is being supportive and understanding. Can't wait to see where the next date goes....

Met this guy online and we finally decided to go out the weekend before last. I told him about my surgery up front, so that he can understand what's going on with me. We met for coffee, but ended up going out to eat. He first said that we should go to the Mexican place next door, but then changed his mind and said there was a healthier place we can go eat at. I told him he didn't have to decide on a place that's healthier just because of me. Honestly, I really wanted Mexican food badly. LOL We ended up going to this pita sandwich place. It wasn't bad at all. The sandwich I got was under 300 calories. I opted to get the grilled chicken breast to make sure I got a good amount of protein out of it. I was only able to eat half of the sandwich. This sleeve is really hard to get used to, mentally that is.
 
This last weekend, he took me out for breakfast. I had a spinich and cheese omelet. I declinced the toast, but went ahead and let them give me the hashbrowns, but didn't eat them. I ate only half the omelet. Gave me bad stomach pains. I'm thinking I must not have chewed it well enough. The restaurant is owened by this older couple and the lady asked me if I wanted a to go box, but gave me a horrible look when she asked. I so wanted to tell her that the food was really good, I just couldn't eat very much, but I don't think she would have understood.
 
After breakfast, we went to a park and walked around. It was nice to be around someone who is so understanding and suggests that we do things that he knows is not only healthy for me, but also for himself.
 
I really wasn't sure if I was ready to start dating again, but that was mostly because I wasn't sure if men would understand my situation. I am glad that I did find someone who is being supportive and understanding. Can't wait to see where the next date goes....

Met this guy online and we finally decided to go out the weekend before last. I told him about my surgery up front, so that he can understand what's going on with me. We met for coffee, but ended up going out to eat. He first said that we should go to the Mexican place next door, but then changed his mind and said there was a healthier place we can go eat at. I told him he didn't have to decide on a place that's healthier just because of me. Honestly, I really wanted Mexican food badly. LOL We ended up going to this pita sandwich place. It wasn't bad at all. The sandwich I got was under 300 calories. I opted to get the grilled chicken breast to make sure I got a good amount of protein out of it. I was only able to eat half of the sandwich. This sleeve is really hard to get used to, mentally that is.
 
This last weekend, he took me out for breakfast. I had a spinich and cheese omelet. I declinced the toast, but went ahead and let them give me the hashbrowns, but didn't eat them. I ate only half the omelet. Gave me bad stomach pains. I'm thinking I must not have chewed it well enough. The restaurant is owened by this older couple and the lady asked me if I wanted a to go box, but gave me a horrible look when she asked. I so wanted to tell her that the food was really good, I just couldn't eat very much, but I don't think she would have understood.
 
After breakfast, we went to a park and walked around. It was nice to be around someone who is so understanding and suggests that we do things that he knows is not only healthy for me, but also for himself.
 
I really wasn't sure if I was ready to start dating again, but that was mostly because I wasn't sure if men would understand my situation. I am glad that I did find someone who is being supportive and understanding. Can't wait to see where the next date goes....

Met this guy online and we finally decided to go out the weekend before last. I told him about my surgery up front, so that he can understand what's going on with me. We met for coffee, but ended up going out to eat. He first said that we should go to the Mexican place next door, but then changed his mind and said there was a healthier place we can go eat at. I told him he didn't have to decide on a place that's healthier just because of me. Honestly, I really wanted Mexican food badly. LOL We ended up going to this pita sandwich place. It wasn't bad at all. The sandwich I got was under 300 calories. I opted to get the grilled chicken breast to make sure I got a good amount of protein out of it. I was only able to eat half of the sandwich. This sleeve is really hard to get used to, mentally that is.
 
This last weekend, he took me out for breakfast. I had a spinich and cheese omelet. I declinced the toast, but went ahead and let them give me the hashbrowns, but didn't eat them. I ate only half the omelet. Gave me bad stomach pains. I'm thinking I must not have chewed it well enough. The restaurant is owened by this older couple and the lady asked me if I wanted a to go box, but gave me a horrible look when she asked. I so wanted to tell her that the food was really good, I just couldn't eat very much, but I don't think she would have understood.
 
After breakfast, we went to a park and walked around. It was nice to be around someone who is so understanding and suggests that we do things that he knows is not only healthy for me, but also for himself.
 
I really wasn't sure if I was ready to start dating again, but that was mostly because I wasn't sure if men would understand my situation. I am glad that I did find someone who is being supportive and understanding. Can't wait to see where the next date goes....

Thought I would share some pics of right after surgery and today.
 

Thought I would share some pics of right after surgery and today.
 

PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY DO YOUR TASTE BUDS CHANGE AFTER SURGERY?????

I've been feeling really good about my progress lately, not just the weight loss, but also my physical abilities and what i can now accomplish. I had taken the day off from work yesterday and decided to reward myself. I went to the movies and saw GI Joe 2. I know I shouldn't have bought the popcorn, but I did and just got the smallest size. The sales girl tried to get me to buy the size bigger (she was just doing her job) and although I would have loved it, I refused because I knew I couldn't eat that much and didn't want to take it home with me only to finish it off later. Then she asked the bigger question, do you want butter on that? I said yes (even though I know how bad it is), but I didn't ask her to put some in the middle as I would have before surgery. Ohhhhh....how yummy it was. Half way through the movie and I had only eaten half the bag. I put it down to stop myself from getting sick. I later picked it back up and ate a little more. I had to put it back down again because it was making me feel sick. The movie was almost over and I had the urge to use the bathroom. So glad I was able to finish the movie before rushing out, although I could have waited for this movie to come out on DVD. Not worth the money, even though I did see it in 3D.
 
On my way home, I decided that I was going to make this a "cheat" day for myself. I stopped at my favorite Teriyaki place and got some spicy chicken teriyaki. I also stopped at the local produce stand and got some fruits for the week and vegitables for the soup I planned to make for the weekend. By the time I got home, I was hungry, so I started eating some of the chicken. I didn't touch the rice because I know I shouldn't be eating it, even though this is my cheat day. I probably ate about 4 or 5 pieces of the chicken and had to stop. That chicken ended up being 3 meals for me. Yes, I did eat it again for dinner and the rest of it this morning for breakfast.
 
So, what I'm finding that even though I want to try to eat some of the things that I used to before surgery, I'm still applying some of the teachings my nutritionist taught me, by habit and not from guilt of what I'm eating. I also weighed myself this morning and I'm down 3 pounds, which made me not feel so bad about eating things that aren't so good for me yesterday. I did realize that even though the popcorn tasted amazing, I probably will try it without the butter next time I go to the movies (I don't do it very often). I also realized that the teriyaki that I used to love doesn't taste as good now. Lastly, I know that it's okay to treat myself once in a while and knowing that I still can apply what I've learned to my choices, I still can do it without feeling guilty providing that it's on a rare occasion.
 
Today, I am back on my schedule of making good choices (minus the teriyaki breakfast). By the way, I did eat my normal breakfast for lunch. I'm feeling good, possitive and happy and can't wait to see/feel the changes that will happen through out the next year. =)

I've been feeling really good about my progress lately, not just the weight loss, but also my physical abilities and what i can now accomplish. I had taken the day off from work yesterday and decided to reward myself. I went to the movies and saw GI Joe 2. I know I shouldn't have bought the popcorn, but I did and just got the smallest size. The sales girl tried to get me to buy the size bigger (she was just doing her job) and although I would have loved it, I refused because I knew I couldn't eat that much and didn't want to take it home with me only to finish it off later. Then she asked the bigger question, do you want butter on that? I said yes (even though I know how bad it is), but I didn't ask her to put some in the middle as I would have before surgery. Ohhhhh....how yummy it was. Half way through the movie and I had only eaten half the bag. I put it down to stop myself from getting sick. I later picked it back up and ate a little more. I had to put it back down again because it was making me feel sick. The movie was almost over and I had the urge to use the bathroom. So glad I was able to finish the movie before rushing out, although I could have waited for this movie to come out on DVD. Not worth the money, even though I did see it in 3D.
 
On my way home, I decided that I was going to make this a "cheat" day for myself. I stopped at my favorite Teriyaki place and got some spicy chicken teriyaki. I also stopped at the local produce stand and got some fruits for the week and vegitables for the soup I planned to make for the weekend. By the time I got home, I was hungry, so I started eating some of the chicken. I didn't touch the rice because I know I shouldn't be eating it, even though this is my cheat day. I probably ate about 4 or 5 pieces of the chicken and had to stop. That chicken ended up being 3 meals for me. Yes, I did eat it again for dinner and the rest of it this morning for breakfast.
 
So, what I'm finding that even though I want to try to eat some of the things that I used to before surgery, I'm still applying some of the teachings my nutritionist taught me, by habit and not from guilt of what I'm eating. I also weighed myself this morning and I'm down 3 pounds, which made me not feel so bad about eating things that aren't so good for me yesterday. I did realize that even though the popcorn tasted amazing, I probably will try it without the butter next time I go to the movies (I don't do it very often). I also realized that the teriyaki that I used to love doesn't taste as good now. Lastly, I know that it's okay to treat myself once in a while and knowing that I still can apply what I've learned to my choices, I still can do it without feeling guilty providing that it's on a rare occasion.
 
Today, I am back on my schedule of making good choices (minus the teriyaki breakfast). By the way, I did eat my normal breakfast for lunch. I'm feeling good, possitive and happy and can't wait to see/feel the changes that will happen through out the next year. =)

So, today I went to the gym, and because I keep reading how so many people are walking 3 and 5 miles a day, I decided to do the elliptical rather than the treadmill. For some reason, I can't seem to do more than 30 minutes on the treadmill. I can't decide if I just get bored or I'm actually too tired to do more. Either way, I switched it up. Before surgery, I wouldn't be able to do more than 10 to 15 minutes on the elliptical. Today, I did 33 minutes! I did have to push myself to keep going though. Last time I did the elliptical, my calf started hurting after 10 minutes, so I had to stop. I'm so happy that I did this today and hope it continues to be this easy. =)

Well, after quite a stall, I am down 3 pounds since my doctor's appointment this last Friday and it has stayed off for 2 days now. I finally remembered to buy a measuring tape at the store and have started keeping track of my measurements. I sure wish I had remembered to buy one earlier, so that I could know where exactly I started at, but that's ok. I'm trying to stay possitive. I have found that there is more protein in a serving of chicken than there is in a protein drink, so I'm going to try to not drink those anymore, especially since I am now on regular foods again. I just hope that I don't get sick of eating chicken. I'm not a big fish fan, unless it's lobster and crab. LOL I found that I hate ground turkey. We'll see how many new recipes I can come up with to not get bored with this. =)

So, I had my 1 month follow up appointment today with my doctor. It wasn't a good visit, in my opinion. He didn't understand why I haven't lost any weight since my last visit 3 weeks ago. I told him that I had the same concern. I explained that I had in fact gained weight and just lost that weight this last week. It was really a depressing visit and I just wanted to cry while talking to him. I know he didn't mean to, but he really made me feel like I'm failing at this. I'm trying my hardest. I still can't eat more than 600 to 700 calories a day, I don't snack more than once or twice a day, and I get most of my protein in. I try to get all my fluids in, but it's been hard. I have even given up coffee (which has been really hard for me) because I know that if I drink coffee, I won't drink water as I tend to sip my coffee most of the day. Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy the way I read every damn nutrition label making sure that I don't eat something that has too much of the wrong things in it and choose something that has all of the right things. He kept talking about liquid calories and I just wanted to yell and tell him to shut up about that because the only liquid I even drink is water. I miss juices and I can't stand adding those crystal light flavors to my water because of the after taste I get from them. I know he wasn't trying to be cruel, but after this visit, I just felt so defeated. I had to fight my own thoughts. I kept thinking about going out and buying the most unhealthy, greasy, fattening thing I could from a fast food restaurant on the way home, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Of course, the one thing I have always had my entire life is wheel power of not eating what I know I shouldn't be eating, so I didn't stop. I just went straight home and started working again. I'm just really worried that the weight won't come off.

I've been feeling really good about my progress lately, not just the weight loss, but also my physical abilities and what i can now accomplish. I had taken the day off from work yesterday and decided to reward myself. I went to the movies and saw GI Joe 2. I know I shouldn't have bought the popcorn, but I did and just got the smallest size. The sales girl tried to get me to buy the size bigger (she was just doing her job) and although I would have loved it, I refused because I knew I couldn't eat that much and didn't want to take it home with me only to finish it off later. Then she asked the bigger question, do you want butter on that? I said yes (even though I know how bad it is), but I didn't ask her to put some in the middle as I would have before surgery. Ohhhhh....how yummy it was. Half way through the movie and I had only eaten half the bag. I put it down to stop myself from getting sick. I later picked it back up and ate a little more. I had to put it back down again because it was making me feel sick. The movie was almost over and I had the urge to use the bathroom. So glad I was able to finish the movie before rushing out, although I could have waited for this movie to come out on DVD. Not worth the money, even though I did see it in 3D.
 
On my way home, I decided that I was going to make this a "cheat" day for myself. I stopped at my favorite Teriyaki place and got some spicy chicken teriyaki. I also stopped at the local produce stand and got some fruits for the week and vegitables for the soup I planned to make for the weekend. By the time I got home, I was hungry, so I started eating some of the chicken. I didn't touch the rice because I know I shouldn't be eating it, even though this is my cheat day. I probably ate about 4 or 5 pieces of the chicken and had to stop. That chicken ended up being 3 meals for me. Yes, I did eat it again for dinner and the rest of it this morning for breakfast.
 
So, what I'm finding that even though I want to try to eat some of the things that I used to before surgery, I'm still applying some of the teachings my nutritionist taught me, by habit and not from guilt of what I'm eating. I also weighed myself this morning and I'm down 3 pounds, which made me not feel so bad about eating things that aren't so good for me yesterday. I did realize that even though the popcorn tasted amazing, I probably will try it without the butter next time I go to the movies (I don't do it very often). I also realized that the teriyaki that I used to love doesn't taste as good now. Lastly, I know that it's okay to treat myself once in a while and knowing that I still can apply what I've learned to my choices, I still can do it without feeling guilty providing that it's on a rare occasion.
 
Today, I am back on my schedule of making good choices (minus the teriyaki breakfast). By the way, I did eat my normal breakfast for lunch. I'm feeling good, possitive and happy and can't wait to see/feel the changes that will happen through out the next year. =)

I've been feeling really good about my progress lately, not just the weight loss, but also my physical abilities and what i can now accomplish. I had taken the day off from work yesterday and decided to reward myself. I went to the movies and saw GI Joe 2. I know I shouldn't have bought the popcorn, but I did and just got the smallest size. The sales girl tried to get me to buy the size bigger (she was just doing her job) and although I would have loved it, I refused because I knew I couldn't eat that much and didn't want to take it home with me only to finish it off later. Then she asked the bigger question, do you want butter on that? I said yes (even though I know how bad it is), but I didn't ask her to put some in the middle as I would have before surgery. Ohhhhh....how yummy it was. Half way through the movie and I had only eaten half the bag. I put it down to stop myself from getting sick. I later picked it back up and ate a little more. I had to put it back down again because it was making me feel sick. The movie was almost over and I had the urge to use the bathroom. So glad I was able to finish the movie before rushing out, although I could have waited for this movie to come out on DVD. Not worth the money, even though I did see it in 3D.
 
On my way home, I decided that I was going to make this a "cheat" day for myself. I stopped at my favorite Teriyaki place and got some spicy chicken teriyaki. I also stopped at the local produce stand and got some fruits for the week and vegitables for the soup I planned to make for the weekend. By the time I got home, I was hungry, so I started eating some of the chicken. I didn't touch the rice because I know I shouldn't be eating it, even though this is my cheat day. I probably ate about 4 or 5 pieces of the chicken and had to stop. That chicken ended up being 3 meals for me. Yes, I did eat it again for dinner and the rest of it this morning for breakfast.
 
So, what I'm finding that even though I want to try to eat some of the things that I used to before surgery, I'm still applying some of the teachings my nutritionist taught me, by habit and not from guilt of what I'm eating. I also weighed myself this morning and I'm down 3 pounds, which made me not feel so bad about eating things that aren't so good for me yesterday. I did realize that even though the popcorn tasted amazing, I probably will try it without the butter next time I go to the movies (I don't do it very often). I also realized that the teriyaki that I used to love doesn't taste as good now. Lastly, I know that it's okay to treat myself once in a while and knowing that I still can apply what I've learned to my choices, I still can do it without feeling guilty providing that it's on a rare occasion.
 
Today, I am back on my schedule of making good choices (minus the teriyaki breakfast). By the way, I did eat my normal breakfast for lunch. I'm feeling good, possitive and happy and can't wait to see/feel the changes that will happen through out the next year. =)

Well, after quite a stall, I am down 3 pounds since my doctor's appointment this last Friday and it has stayed off for 2 days now. I finally remembered to buy a measuring tape at the store and have started keeping track of my measurements. I sure wish I had remembered to buy one earlier, so that I could know where exactly I started at, but that's ok. I'm trying to stay possitive. I have found that there is more protein in a serving of chicken than there is in a protein drink, so I'm going to try to not drink those anymore, especially since I am now on regular foods again. I just hope that I don't get sick of eating chicken. I'm not a big fish fan, unless it's lobster and crab. LOL I found that I hate ground turkey. We'll see how many new recipes I can come up with to not get bored with this. =)

So, I had my 1 month follow up appointment today with my doctor. It wasn't a good visit, in my opinion. He didn't understand why I haven't lost any weight since my last visit 3 weeks ago. I told him that I had the same concern. I explained that I had in fact gained weight and just lost that weight this last week. It was really a depressing visit and I just wanted to cry while talking to him. I know he didn't mean to, but he really made me feel like I'm failing at this. I'm trying my hardest. I still can't eat more than 600 to 700 calories a day, I don't snack more than once or twice a day, and I get most of my protein in. I try to get all my fluids in, but it's been hard. I have even given up coffee (which has been really hard for me) because I know that if I drink coffee, I won't drink water as I tend to sip my coffee most of the day. Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy the way I read every damn nutrition label making sure that I don't eat something that has too much of the wrong things in it and choose something that has all of the right things. He kept talking about liquid calories and I just wanted to yell and tell him to shut up about that because the only liquid I even drink is water. I miss juices and I can't stand adding those crystal light flavors to my water because of the after taste I get from them. I know he wasn't trying to be cruel, but after this visit, I just felt so defeated. I had to fight my own thoughts. I kept thinking about going out and buying the most unhealthy, greasy, fattening thing I could from a fast food restaurant on the way home, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Of course, the one thing I have always had my entire life is wheel power of not eating what I know I shouldn't be eating, so I didn't stop. I just went straight home and started working again. I'm just really worried that the weight won't come off.

I'm sure other people are feeling this way, but I'm so tired of not feeling good after eating. This morning, I scrambled one egg, couldn't eat anything else afterwards. For lunch, I had egg salad (1 egg and 1 tbsp light mayo), a cheese stick, and 2 crackers. I just feel so bad after eating that it takes away from the satisfaction of enjoying my foods. This has been going on for about a week now. I have a check up appointment with my doctor on Friday, but sure wish that this feeling would go away so I can get to feeling normal again.