Nate74

I agree with you and find myself forgiving daily. I pray for my ex that she finds peace and god. I have since discovered from my original post the affairs have been going on since before i was engaged but i still forgive and just trying to move on with my life for me and my two daughters. I have attended divorce care twice through my church and going through my second time of single and parenting. I know only through god's grace that allows me to forgive her even if I'll never understand. I believe the one thing that helped me get past it all was recently when i told her how i felt about it all knowing it went on deaf ears but it was for my peace of mind to get it out. Thank you all for your words of wisdom.

I'm starting to think god is preparing me to lose my wife. It doesn't make sense but i just keep giving it to god. I know my wife has no respect for me nor desire and i'm not even sure if she has that much love for me anymore but i keep praying about it. It doesn't make any sense to me but i try not to hold on to my understanding. I keep trying to live by my vows better or worse but how do you hold on to someone who rejects you all the time and makes you feel like you betrayed them?

I hate to put it this way but you have already cheated. if you have crossed the line but stopped short of bumping uglies as you put it that's cheating. If your Man said the same would you not consider it cheating? If you want to give into the temptation have enough respect to just leave. My wife gave into that temptation and it it feels like it is killing me and it all started cause she started to cross the line but stopped short but eventually crossed that line. I would have had more respect for her if she left. no one deserves that kind of betrayal no matter what if your not happy leave don't disrespect someone when you wouldn't be ok with the same disrespect.

i just find the double standard intereesting in my opinion. you always hear about women who say men are dogs and they cheat but women are the best at it and lie so easily like it's nothing but would be the first to be angry if it happened to them

henderson here as well near college and 95

belive it mine after 14 years had multiple affairs since plastics i didn't find out about till recently and we did our journey together. The thing you never prepare yourself for is the attention you start receiving from other people. You can tell yourself i know they only do that for the way you look after you lose the weight but it can change a person. i'm not saying everyone will do this and i know some will say if their were problems before but we would always say the same thing we couldn't understyand how somone could do that. But here i am asking myself as i have always said if i ever feel that strongly to cheat then the relationship is over and i never cheated once. I

I hear what your saying and i struggle with this everyday. I continue to pray about it and ask for strength i belive i have truly forgiven but i'm struggling to forget. I try to force the thoughts out to not feel the pain and sometimes i find i am at peace with it but i find i'll see something or hear something that brings the feelings back. I try to do the opposite of what i'm feeling and it helps but i wonder if i'll be able to truly forget. I don't think there is an easy way to do this but i thought maybe i'd ask your opinion on how you handle forgetting. I'm sure it will take time as my pain is very recent but i just keep trying. I'm also very scared that as i find myself changing within myself i kee having stronger feelings for this person and it scares me that i will get hurt 10 times worse. I know it's wrong to feel that way and i try to give it to god and believe that it is for a purpose but i have to admit it really scares me.

@MyBariatricLife like you i feel like i have similar struggles. mine was recently and even though i have forgiven as hard as that was to say at the time i wasn't sure i belived it fully when i said it. I found that even though i wasn't sure i started to find peace. even when i found out more information recently that just brought a lot of the pain back i still forgave. I keep praying about it and i find myself changing and i like the changes within myself. Everytime i find myself thinking negative thoughts i will give a hug or do something unselfish for her. The more i do i find myself changing for the better. I know its not exactly deserving but i feel god has put it in my heart to do this and i continue to pray for strength. I too sometime question if i have truly forgiven as i have thoughts of getting even or pulling away but again i pray and work through it. I feel that the response to it is not there and i feel like i'm being punished for a choice i didn't make but i just keep trying as a quote i put on my desktop recently that states to be christian means to forgive the inexcusble because god has forgiven the inexcusable in you. I keep trying but i find myself sometimes having anger, pain, revenge feelings return. How do you deal with the feelings? i just keep trying to pray and give as much love as i possibly can even though it scares me to do so.

sometimes i feel if i was a little more controlling and not so trusting my wife of 14 years wouldn't have had multiple affairs. i fully trusted her and i was repayed with being lied to and she fully admits had i not found some information on my own she wouldn't have told me but is upset on how i found out. Even with all of this i was willing to work things out but i'm starting to realize it is one sided which tells me it will happen again. i'm not perfect but i was totally supportive as we did it together. Even when people said how can you be ok with her going out with friends i didn't want to be that controlling person and i trusted her and this is what happened i ask what do you say to that?

I was open about it with everyone from the start. Of course some people were ohh you don't need it you should just go on a diet and excersice. But i was open about it for a few reasons. one i'm the type of person that i don't really care what other people think as i did this for me and my family. My wife had her sleeve a week after me. Second there are many people out there that don't know much about the process and maybe have only heard from people that haven't experienced the process and might be steered away from doing it for themselves. I know my wife and i have inspired a few people to start their own journey by being open about everything. We went to an event for our surgergeons office and met acouple that decided to start their journey based on our story on the surgeons web page. for us this is why were open about our journeys. If we can help anyone start their new life and journey it is worth all the ignorant comments and stupid stereotypes we hear. which is not very many really anymore as were both over 2 years out and some people have never known us bigger. i understand why keeping it secret though don't misunderstand we have a friend that still doesn't tel many people but i find usually it is harder for women as they tend to be judged harsher by other women and then some tend to get jealous when they become smaller than their friends. my wife has lost a few friends that way.

i'm guessing every DR is different as i stopped taking mine 3 weeks after surgery as it put me in hospital as i was on highest dose of all my meds including cholestorol which i found out they didn't even prescribe that high anymore. i just stopped taking without any issues right after surgery when i tried taking it put me in hospital with low blood pressure. Congratulations Though it is a good feeling to get off all the meds

based on your ticker you had little compared to some to loose believe it or not the initial weight loss is the greatest but our bodies adjust even though we aren't loosing weight on the scale your body is changing it will go down just not as fast as you would like the more you have to loose the faster it is in the beginning. i was loosing 2 1/2 pounds a day in the beginning but not towards the end. take a picture and put it side by side a week later you will notice a difference. Just remeber we didn't gain the weight overnight and we won't loose it that fast either. btw i'm not saying becasue you have little to loose that it is a bad thing.

Tikvah i can answer that i was prescribed the machine and i tried using it or a long time the problem was it kept waking me up when it smashed on my face when i would move. I kept trying though eventually i was told even if i wore it for half the night while i tried was better than nothing. Besides mine was covered by insurance but not all are and there not exxpensive but not cheap either. I no longer need to use it anymore after surgery but i also understand why the surgeon wants the sleep study done cause depending on the severity it can cause complications while on Operating table

I didn't think i would miss bread but i do i still have it just in small amounts i will say it will be a while before you can handle a decent amount. I'm 13 months out and i can have about half to a whole piece of toast. My wife can eat about a whole to sometimes a piece and a half everyone is diff. The thing i miss that i didn't think i would was bread on a cheesburger or a sandwich if i do that it's more like 2 bites and i'm done

First off congrats on the 136 lbs down that's a big accomplishment don't forget that. that being said your body needs time to adjust to the loss. at about six months i sat at the same eight for about 1-1/2 months . then started loosing again even though i didn't want to. I wouldn't gp by the BMI charts as there inaccurate as it currentlly says i'm 20 which is wrong as i'm 6'3 170 and at 205 out of bootcamp was 16 so i wouldn't put too much faith in charts. even when the scale doesn't show it ur body is still changing. try this take a pic of urself andthen in week or two take another and compare i bet you will see a difference even if scale stays the same. we are always our own worse critics and we don't see it but take a pic and you can see. Good luck on your journey and like i said congrats on the big accomplishment 136lbs down in 7 months is really good i know ppl that are 1 and a half years out at 80lbs so don't be down on urself everyone looses diff. btw my wife was sleeved a week after me and she was all about the bmi number as well so i understand she just now reached the 25% and she is all excited according to the chart even though i've been teling her for months that their wrong

Carson's mom it's up to you what you what you tell them if you want tell them your eating healthier and working out which would also be telling the truth. i will say i am a little over a year post op but have never stepped in a gym i don't have time with my schedule but i do workouts at home but it worked for me as i'm 230lbs down. There will be people that will ask a lot of questions about what you can eat and things like that if you tell them but there will also be people that say you didn't need it or you took the easy way out. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and just understand that their opinion does not matter as your doing this for you, your health, and to feel better about yourself. I get people that ask me all the time what can i eat things like that but i've been pretty open about it and they usuall ask questions about it and seem pretty interested. I would like to say congratulations to you on the start of your journey and look forward to seeing updates of your progress as you continue on your path to a happier healthier you.

I will say the protein is always a strruggle as i figured i didn't even get the amount of protein in they say i need before surgery. i found these Protein shakes at the grocery store that have 55g of protein per 15oz can but there 3.50 a piece. but 2 a day would be close to what you need depending on height and the shakes are low in carbs. Fish will be your best friend as it is high in protein and you can have a little more than beef or other types. I recommend getting fresh caught if your in an area that has it as farm raised is hard to stomach after surgery in my opinion. You can't have beef for a little while but what i did to get over that craving for burgers is beef broth and once i chewed on a piece of pot roast to taste the flavor but spit the peice out afterwards. it really helped just to get that taste without swallowing it. i now prefer turkey burgers over beef now as well as turkey bacon.

I have a question did you have a hernia fixed during surgery? They had to pull my stomach out of my diaphram and stitch my diaphram during surgery and i had a similar problem for two months. I couldn't get anything in other than water and blended fruit in water i felt like i was going to die too. i had an upper gi scan and they said it was slow moving through my system and that was the problem. when my stomach finally fully healed it was ok but until then it was hell. I wonder if other people that have similar problems had the hernia fix during surgery?

I understand but be proud that you made the decision to change the before. I don't have a smart phone but if you look at my profile you can see my before and after photo

Congrats your gonna love it. We recently just we took the girls to the beach a few weeks ago for the first time since b4 surgery and we had a great time and we weren't self conscious about being in bathing suits. (My wife had the sleeve a week after me)

I understand about not wanting to post pics. I haven't wanted to post any on Facebook for fear of judgement not because i care all that much i just didn't want to see some of the negative comments. I understand it's different here as were all in this together but i just recently posted pics for the first time in a private weight loss group i joined on Facebook. I try to tell myself i'm not self conscious or at least that i was but i'm starting to realize maybe i was more than i wanted to admit.

This is normal and it probably will happen again unfortunately but it will start again. My wife stalled for 3 weeks but then went and got a vitamin b12 shot and lost 8 pounds over that next week after stalling for 3.

Congratulations it really is a great feeling. And it will only get better.