BigDaddyJoe

So, my wife today again used the "S" word to describe me - Sickly. She says I'm getting too thin, and need to put on more weight. I don't know how to stop. I think I may be leveling off - I was 178 a few days ago, 180 yesterday, and 181 this morning. I don't want to start going in the wrong direction, but she doesn't understand that. I've told her several times that it hurts me when she says that, and that it isn't helpful, but she won't stop. Come to think of it, she's never really been very supportive of me, post-op. She had the surgery also, so you would think she would understand. But when I would be excited about the weight loss, or breaking a stall, I would get little or no reaction from her. I'm not quite sure what her issue is, but it is maddening to me. Maybe it's because I'm thinner than I've ever been in the 17 years we've known each other. Maybe it's because some of my clothes don't exactly fit me too well, and my neck looks tiny in the too-big neck holes of my tshirts. Who knows? Oh well, everyone else tells me I look great, and I feel great, so I'm going to try to not let it get to me.

I had my 6 month follow-up appointment with my surgeon and nutritionist yesterday. It was basically a waste of time.
The receptionist and nurses were all shocked when they saw me, said they barely recognized me. That felt nice.
The scale said 189, so they have me as an 85 lb loss. I still go by my home scale, which puts me at an 88 lb loss. He said I was doing great. I mentioned that people were telling me that I was losing too much weight and needed to stop, and he told me 'tell people to shut up, you're doing great'.
I then went in to see the nutritionist. She is basically useless, I could do her job at this point. I asked her how I stop the weight loss. She said "I don't know, I hope it will just stop on its own". I pressed her further, and she said "You could try eating more". I told her I can't eat more than I do now. She said "You can try eating more often, more snacks". I said I could try, but that it was already hard to space my eating and drinking apart to get in enough liquids. She said "You can try adding in some more carbs, maybe some oatmeal or potatoes." I said sure, even though I know if I eat them, I won't be getting to my protein goals. Oh well, guess I'll have to figure it out on my own. She said that I should try to make it to one of the support group meetings they have once a month. Not that I need the support, but that I would be an inspiration to all the people who go to them. I will try to make the next one, but it's hard because it's at the same time as my son's drum lessons.
The best thing about the appointment was that I got my gold star. My surgeon gives you a keychain when you start your journey. When you lose 10% of your total weight, you get a bronze star. 20% gets you a silver star, and 30% a gold star. I've attached a pic of the keychain and stars here. It's kind of a cheesy idea, but gives a sense of accomplishment.

OK, here is a bit of a rant. Lately, it seems that everyone has the opinion that I have lost too much weight and need to stop. I currently weigh 186 lbs, just at the top of the 'normal' range for my height. I don't want to look sickly, and don't think that I do, but my image of myself is distorted, and I know that. My mind hasn't caught up with the rapid weight loss yet. It is starting to piss me off how everyone is insisting that I need to stop losing weight. I know that, and plan to, but don't even know how to at this point. I can't eat more than I do now.
Yesterday, my family and I went to a 50th anniversary party. We saw my stepmother, who I haven't seen in about a month or so. She kept telling me I was done and needed to stop. I kind of snapped back at her, which is out of character for me, and I'm sure threw her off guard. I said that I wished people were this concerned for me when I weighed 274 (and growing) and had ACTUAL health issues because of it. Her reply was that I was more open to talking about it now, since I was so open to talking about the surgery. I guess that's a fair point, but still annoys me.
When we got home, my wife told me that my stepmother told her that I looked like a little old man, and that the surgery made me look 15 years older. This REALLY hurt and upset me. I told my wife that I wished she hadn't told me that. She couldn't understand why it upset me. She said that my stepmom was just stating her opinion, and that she was concerned about me. I said that I was upset because I didn't go through all of this to look like a little old man. While I had the surgery for health reasons and not vanity reasons, I still wouldn't like to look older. I'm 42, and don't want to look like a little old man. My wife also said that it could have been what I was wearing. I had on a polo shirt that was kind of long and made me look taller and thinner than I really am. My wife agrees that I'm getting too thin, but doesn't agree with the little old man comment. My wife also had the surgery, and looks amazing. She is 40, and could pass for 25 now. She is not yet to goal, so who knows how she'll look if she also gets 'too skinny'. I told my wife I don't want to look like the old man dating the model. I'm not even rich! LOL
I was really depressed by the whole thing last night. I'm a little better about it today. The whole process has been an emotional roller coaster. I really think they need to strengthen the psychological requirements for weight loss surgery, and have mandatory psych follow-ups AFTER surgery. This site is what has kept me sane, just knowing there are other people who have had similar thoughts/experiences as me.
I've attached a before and after photo of myself to this blog post. I'd love opinions about whether I look 'too skinny' or 15 years older. Thanks.

I got on the scale this morning, and I am now 190 lbs, my surgeon's goal! I had gone camping for a week with my son's Boy Scout troop, and did pretty much EVERYTHING wrong. I tried my best, but it was hard. I didn't get nearly enough protein, water, ate too fast, and ate not the right things. I got home and was down a lb. But then, the next day I was down 2 more. And the next day (today), down another. I have lost 84 lbs from my top weight. My wife and a few other people are telling me I am starting to look too skinny. I don't agree, I'd like to lose another 10 or so lbs. I'm still not even considered in the 'normal' range yet, 189 is the upper end of the normal range for 6'1".

My wife was going to Walmart yesterday, and texted me at work to ask if I needed anything. I said 'new clothes and sneakers'. I wasn't expecting her to actually buy me anything, but she asked what size pants I was wearing now. I had to close my office door so that I could check the size of the jeans I'm currently wearing. I told her they are a 36 and would fall down without a belt. I never even realized that I was wearing a 36 until I checked yesterday. These are old jeans I still had in my drawer from years ago, and are the only ones that aren't ridiculously big on me now. She asked me what size I was wearing when I was at my biggest. I said that I never really knew my 'true' size. I was wearing 42 or 44, but was wearing them under the belly, not at the belly like you're supposed to, so was probably bigger. She picked me up 4 pairs of shorts, in 34. I thought 'no way are these going to fit'. Well, guess what - they did! I haven't been a 34 in probably 17 years, I'm guessing. Can't believe I've come this far in only 4 months! This is the best thing I've ever done for myself (besides marrying my wife).

My wife was going to Walmart yesterday, and texted me at work to ask if I needed anything. I said 'new clothes and sneakers'. I wasn't expecting her to actually buy me anything, but she asked what size pants I was wearing now. I had to close my office door so that I could check the size of the jeans I'm currently wearing. I told her they are a 36 and would fall down without a belt. I never even realized that I was wearing a 36 until I checked yesterday. These are old jeans I still had in my drawer from years ago, and are the only ones that aren't ridiculously big on me now. She asked me what size I was wearing when I was at my biggest. I said that I never really knew my 'true' size. I was wearing 42 or 44, but was wearing them under the belly, not at the belly like you're supposed to, so was probably bigger. She picked me up 4 pairs of shorts, in 34. I thought 'no way are these going to fit'. Well, guess what - they did! I haven't been a 34 in probably 17 years, I'm guessing. Can't believe I've come this far in only 4 months! This is the best thing I've ever done for myself (besides marrying my wife).

It has been a while since I posted anything. I guess that is because there hasn't been too much to report. I just looked at my last post, and it was May 31, and I weighed 214. As of this morning, I weigh 199! I haven't been under 200 in at least 15 years. I'm only 9 lbs away from my doctor's goal of 190, and 19 lbs away from my goal of 180. I've lost a total of 75 lbs now. I thought I was losing quickly, but now that I think about it, 15 lbs in a month and a half isn't that quick. I want to be at or below my doctor's goal by my 6 month follow up. Guess I need to step it up!

It has been a while since I posted anything. I guess that is because there hasn't been too much to report. I just looked at my last post, and it was May 31, and I weighed 214. As of this morning, I weigh 199! I haven't been under 200 in at least 15 years. I'm only 9 lbs away from my doctor's goal of 190, and 19 lbs away from my goal of 180. I've lost a total of 75 lbs now. I thought I was losing quickly, but now that I think about it, 15 lbs in a month and a half isn't that quick. I want to be at or below my doctor's goal by my 6 month follow up. Guess I need to step it up!

It has been a while since I posted anything. I guess that is because there hasn't been too much to report. I just looked at my last post, and it was May 31, and I weighed 214. As of this morning, I weigh 199! I haven't been under 200 in at least 15 years. I'm only 9 lbs away from my doctor's goal of 190, and 19 lbs away from my goal of 180. I've lost a total of 75 lbs now. I thought I was losing quickly, but now that I think about it, 15 lbs in a month and a half isn't that quick. I want to be at or below my doctor's goal by my 6 month follow up. Guess I need to step it up!

I am celebrating 2 things today. First, I weighed in this morning and am now down 60 lbs! I weighed 214, down from 274. In not even 3 months! I can't believe it. Second, my doctor took me off of my blood pressure medication yesterday! This is huge! He had cut my dose in half a few weeks ago, and this visit was a follow-up to see how I was doing on the half dose. They took my blood pressure when I first got in, and it was 120/70. He was happy with that and was willing to keep me going on the half dose for now, until I mentioned that I've been getting light-headed when playing the trumpet while standing up. He had me stand up to take my blood pressure, and it was 108/70. So he told me to go ahead and stop taking it. He wants to see me again in another 3 weeks to see how I'm doing off of it.

I am celebrating 2 things today. First, I weighed in this morning and am now down 60 lbs! I weighed 214, down from 274. In not even 3 months! I can't believe it. Second, my doctor took me off of my blood pressure medication yesterday! This is huge! He had cut my dose in half a few weeks ago, and this visit was a follow-up to see how I was doing on the half dose. They took my blood pressure when I first got in, and it was 120/70. He was happy with that and was willing to keep me going on the half dose for now, until I mentioned that I've been getting light-headed when playing the trumpet while standing up. He had me stand up to take my blood pressure, and it was 108/70. So he told me to go ahead and stop taking it. He wants to see me again in another 3 weeks to see how I'm doing off of it.

I am celebrating 2 things today. First, I weighed in this morning and am now down 60 lbs! I weighed 214, down from 274. In not even 3 months! I can't believe it. Second, my doctor took me off of my blood pressure medication yesterday! This is huge! He had cut my dose in half a few weeks ago, and this visit was a follow-up to see how I was doing on the half dose. They took my blood pressure when I first got in, and it was 120/70. He was happy with that and was willing to keep me going on the half dose for now, until I mentioned that I've been getting light-headed when playing the trumpet while standing up. He had me stand up to take my blood pressure, and it was 108/70. So he told me to go ahead and stop taking it. He wants to see me again in another 3 weeks to see how I'm doing off of it.

I am celebrating 2 things today. First, I weighed in this morning and am now down 60 lbs! I weighed 214, down from 274. In not even 3 months! I can't believe it. Second, my doctor took me off of my blood pressure medication yesterday! This is huge! He had cut my dose in half a few weeks ago, and this visit was a follow-up to see how I was doing on the half dose. They took my blood pressure when I first got in, and it was 120/70. He was happy with that and was willing to keep me going on the half dose for now, until I mentioned that I've been getting light-headed when playing the trumpet while standing up. He had me stand up to take my blood pressure, and it was 108/70. So he told me to go ahead and stop taking it. He wants to see me again in another 3 weeks to see how I'm doing off of it.

I've finally broken my stall after almost 2 weeks, and have lost a lb. a day for the past 3 days! I knew it had to end eventually, and tried not to stress about it, but it was hard! I'm now 224, 50 lbs from my top weight of 274. So excited!

I've finally broken my stall after almost 2 weeks, and have lost a lb. a day for the past 3 days! I knew it had to end eventually, and tried not to stress about it, but it was hard! I'm now 224, 50 lbs from my top weight of 274. So excited!

I've finally broken my stall after almost 2 weeks, and have lost a lb. a day for the past 3 days! I knew it had to end eventually, and tried not to stress about it, but it was hard! I'm now 224, 50 lbs from my top weight of 274. So excited!

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese!
I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days.
In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.

Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese!
I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days.
In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.

Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese!
I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days.
In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.

Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese!
I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days.
In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.