BigDaddyJoe

Two days down on the pre-op diet, and MY GOD the headache I had last night! I went to bed at 9 because the pain was unbearable. It's still there a bit today. From what I've read, everyone seems to say that day 2 and 3 of the pre-op diet is the hardest.

So, my wife today again used the "S" word to describe me - Sickly. She says I'm getting too thin, and need to put on more weight. I don't know how to stop. I think I may be leveling off - I was 178 a few days ago, 180 yesterday, and 181 this morning. I don't want to start going in the wrong direction, but she doesn't understand that. I've told her several times that it hurts me when she says that, and that it isn't helpful, but she won't stop. Come to think of it, she's never really been very supportive of me, post-op. She had the surgery also, so you would think she would understand. But when I would be excited about the weight loss, or breaking a stall, I would get little or no reaction from her. I'm not quite sure what her issue is, but it is maddening to me. Maybe it's because I'm thinner than I've ever been in the 17 years we've known each other. Maybe it's because some of my clothes don't exactly fit me too well, and my neck looks tiny in the too-big neck holes of my tshirts. Who knows? Oh well, everyone else tells me I look great, and I feel great, so I'm going to try to not let it get to me.

She's done pretty well, down 55 lbs since April 19. She could do better, but she doesn't follow all "the rules". She doesn't always do the protein shakes, eats things like ice cream, and drinks these frapuccino things that she gets from Costco, even drinks soda occasionally. I don't dare say anything. She would get defensive, and tell me that I need to start eating those things. There could be something to the completion thing, I'm 15 lbs lighter than she's ever known me to be. I mentioned that to her, that she's never known me this thin, and just has to get used to it. Her reply? That she would have never dated me if I was this thin. SMH.

OK, here is a bit of a rant. Lately, it seems that everyone has the opinion that I have lost too much weight and need to stop. I currently weigh 186 lbs, just at the top of the 'normal' range for my height. I don't want to look sickly, and don't think that I do, but my image of myself is distorted, and I know that. My mind hasn't caught up with the rapid weight loss yet. It is starting to piss me off how everyone is insisting that I need to stop losing weight. I know that, and plan to, but don't even know how to at this point. I can't eat more than I do now. Yesterday, my family and I went to a 50th anniversary party. We saw my stepmother, who I haven't seen in about a month or so. She kept telling me I was done and needed to stop. I kind of snapped back at her, which is out of character for me, and I'm sure threw her off guard. I said that I wished people were this concerned for me when I weighed 274 (and growing) and had ACTUAL health issues because of it. Her reply was that I was more open to talking about it now, since I was so open to talking about the surgery. I guess that's a fair point, but still annoys me. When we got home, my wife told me that my stepmother told her that I looked like a little old man, and that the surgery made me look 15 years older. This REALLY hurt and upset me. I told my wife that I wished she hadn't told me that. She couldn't understand why it upset me. She said that my stepmom was just stating her opinion, and that she was concerned about me. I said that I was upset because I didn't go through all of this to look like a little old man. While I had the surgery for health reasons and not vanity reasons, I still wouldn't like to look older. I'm 42, and don't want to look like a little old man. My wife also said that it could have been what I was wearing. I had on a polo shirt that was kind of long and made me look taller and thinner than I really am. My wife agrees that I'm getting too thin, but doesn't agree with the little old man comment. My wife also had the surgery, and looks amazing. She is 40, and could pass for 25 now. She is not yet to goal, so who knows how she'll look if she also gets 'too skinny'. I told my wife I don't want to look like the old man dating the model. I'm not even rich! LOL I was really depressed by the whole thing last night. I'm a little better about it today. The whole process has been an emotional roller coaster. I really think they need to strengthen the psychological requirements for weight loss surgery, and have mandatory psych follow-ups AFTER surgery. This site is what has kept me sane, just knowing there are other people who have had similar thoughts/experiences as me. I've attached a before and after photo of myself to this blog post. I'd love opinions about whether I look 'too skinny' or 15 years older. Thanks.

I don't know what the issue is. She is usually very supportive. I don't know what to think anymore, my body image is so out of whack. What I see in the mirror is not what I see in photographs. But if she is jealous or feeling threatened, she should be doing the opposite, not what she's doing now.

I had my 6 month follow-up appointment with my surgeon and nutritionist yesterday. It was basically a waste of time. The receptionist and nurses were all shocked when they saw me, said they barely recognized me. That felt nice. The scale said 189, so they have me as an 85 lb loss. I still go by my home scale, which puts me at an 88 lb loss. He said I was doing great. I mentioned that people were telling me that I was losing too much weight and needed to stop, and he told me 'tell people to shut up, you're doing great'. I then went in to see the nutritionist. She is basically useless, I could do her job at this point. I asked her how I stop the weight loss. She said "I don't know, I hope it will just stop on its own". I pressed her further, and she said "You could try eating more". I told her I can't eat more than I do now. She said "You can try eating more often, more snacks". I said I could try, but that it was already hard to space my eating and drinking apart to get in enough liquids. She said "You can try adding in some more carbs, maybe some oatmeal or potatoes." I said sure, even though I know if I eat them, I won't be getting to my protein goals. Oh well, guess I'll have to figure it out on my own. She said that I should try to make it to one of the support group meetings they have once a month. Not that I need the support, but that I would be an inspiration to all the people who go to them. I will try to make the next one, but it's hard because it's at the same time as my son's drum lessons. The best thing about the appointment was that I got my gold star. My surgeon gives you a keychain when you start your journey. When you lose 10% of your total weight, you get a bronze star. 20% gets you a silver star, and 30% a gold star. I've attached a pic of the keychain and stars here. It's kind of a cheesy idea, but gives a sense of accomplishment.

Good luck to him!

Ok people. I've just read this entire thread, and came to the following conclusion: spending pages attacking someone's comments you deem to be judgmental is JUST as judgmental as you think those comments may be. If people would just give their own advice, and not comment on someone else's, no matter how you feel about it, it wouldn't turn into a flame war. Just my 2 cents.

Will, you've lost in record time. Why do you keep thinking you're going to fail? Probably because you have so many times in the past. Make this time different. Use this tool that is the sleeve to get the most out of it. Don't set yourself up for failure. Don't stress about the future, live in the present. Deal with what you have control over. None of us knows what the future holds. Hell, the entire US economy could crash at any time, and the paper in our pockets could be as worthless as Monopoly money, and we'd ALL be jobless. Focus on what you can control, and take it by the reins, and you can get through anything.

Great idea, Tap. I would have people PM the names to you though. You don't want someone stealing a good one.

The answer for me was - no.

Great job! I'm also a March sleever - was sleeved on March 8. My stats: Starting weight - 274 lbs Current weight - 180 lbs I am 10 lbs below my surgeon's goal, and trying to stop losing with varying degrees of success. I'm attaching my before and after picture here. The after shot was from about a month ago, I'm actually 10 lbs less than that now. Are you a member of the March Sleevers Facebook group? I created the group for a bunch of us March sleevers that were talking in a thread on here a while back. There are currently 117 members, and it's great to see people's progress who are in a similar point in their journey. It is a 'secret' group, meaning you have to be invited, and none of your friends can see your posts or even that you're a member. If you're not a member, message me your email address and I'll get an invite out to you.

Well, the sleeve is just a tool, it doesn't address your mental issues, and why you eat when you aren't hungry, etc.. That being said, I find I no longer really care about food, so it is much easier to concentrate on eating the right things. It has become very routine for me at this point (6 months out). I pretty much eat by the clock, 3 small meals a day, with some snacks (cheese sticks, nuts, etc) in between the meals.

I understand fearing the unknown, but in this case, embrace it! I was sleeved 6 months ago yesterday, and I can't tell you all the positive changes this has made in my life. I am actually about 10 lbs under my doctor's goal right now. I am off blood pressure medication. I have no more GERD. I have no more sleep apnea. I no longer get winded going up a flight of stairs. I can keep up with my kids. And, I look better. I didn't tell many people about the surgery beforehand, out of fear of what they would say. I wasn't going to tell people afterwards either. However, a few days after surgery, and I woke up at 5 am and it weighed heavily on my mind. I didn't feel comfortable lying to people. I decided to come clean. Write then, at 5 am, I started writing a long letter that I posted as a note on Facebook. I explained what I had done, what the surgery is, what it isn't, why I did it, how I was feeling. I ended the letter with a warning to people who would possibly be thinking of saying something negative or cracks jokes, not to do it, it wouldn't be taken lightly. I've had nothing but positive reactions from people, saying they were proud of me for taking responsibility for my health. I get questions, because people are curious about things, and I don't mind answering them. This has been one of the best decisions I've ever made, and I have absolutely no regrets. If you're interested in reading the letter I wrote, it is in my blog on this site, one of the earlier postings. Good luck to you!

I haven't held on to any of my fat clothes, got rid of 3 garbage bags full of clothes a couple months ago, and have been accumulating a pile of get rid of clothes as I pull them out of the closet and try them on and decide they look ridiculous. I had some skinnier clothes in the attic that I'm glad I had saved. I do still have my kilt from my bagpipe band, that could count as my fat clothes. I am going to need to have it altered, so I won't have it as a reminder after that.

I'm 6 months out and still get it sometimes. It really depends on how low your carb intake is.

I couldn't have yogurt until the puréed stage, after 1 week.

Most insurances require BMI of 40 and above, or 35 and above PLUS 2 comorbidities. Are they recommending that you gain weight to qualify for surgery? That sounds dangerous to me.

i agree - why???Are you already failing, or expecting to fail?