timetogetreal

I have been lurking and learning lots on this forum for the past few months and for the first time feel the need to post. (Sorry it's such a long first post) I started my pre-op journey and clearances 6 months ago and had EVERYTHING completed and cleared until I went this past week for my psychological clearance. I hit a major road block that was totally unexpected. The only reason I saved this for last is because I had to pay $360 out of my pocket; since I have to see the one my surgeon requires and that's the only one they accept. Spent an hour and a half filling out lots of questionaires and tests and when I finally met with the psychologist she referenced my notations about having a stressful and not very happy childhood. I DID tear up because I have always been a very emotional person and wear my emotions on my sleeves. I get teary when I hear sad stories on the news, etc. By the end of this 30 minute interview with this psychologist she had determined that I must be depressed and was going to hold up my clearance until I either get some depression meds OR go see a psychologist and set up some counselling sessions. #1 I am NOT depressed. My family members were all outraged when I told them what the outcome of this was since they all said........depressed you have never been. Have I ever been sad or felt a little low???? Of course, but I dare say not too many of us come out of this life without having those occasional feelings. Just amazes me that someone can come up with this requirement when it is not anything that applies to me. I did try to find a psychologist that was covered by my Wellcare Advantage and the only one I could find had no openings for 6 weeks. I can get into see my Primary Care Phys in two weeks and he DOES prescribe meds for deppression but I am afraid if I go into him and tell him the truth that I don't need or want to take those meds but I NEED a prescription to get a clearance then he will refuse to give me the RX. I would prefer to be honest with him and tell him what I am feeling, but, if he then says no, I will be in trouble time wise. I was counting on an April surgery date since I won't be able to get work leave after April till mid summer. And, by that time some of my 6 month clearances will have expired. I'm just really dismayed that this is what is holding me up. Shoot, lots of us have not had picture perfect past experiences, but, it doesn't always mean we are all suffering from depression. Thanks for any thoughts or advise. (ps......it was stressed on all the forms I filled out for this psych visit to be totally honest.....I'm thinking now that was my biggest mistake) lol But, I do know that I answered honestly that I love my life now (not the being fat part) and my family and can't wait to have this surgery to improve my life and allow me to live longer.

Wow, that's a great example of over reacting......BUT, not on your part. Can you imagine living with a psych and having every little emotion or action analyzed and judged. To me, in order to label someone you definitely have to be able to look at a much bigger picture than what you are seeing in a brief meeting with someone. Now that might call for some heavy meds!!

Sounds like you had the kind of appointment I was expecting. At the end of the visit I was totally caught off-guard. So much so that I didn't even say too much. It was on my drive home that I realized, OMG, she just denied my clearance. Yikes!!!! I'm going to call the surgeon's office on Monday and ask about any 2nd opinions, however, I do know that they specify that their patients can't get a clearance from ANY other psych except this one. I even asked about that early in my 6 month start since the charge is $360 and she doesn't take very many insurance policies. And, I had another friend who went to her own psych covered by Aetna and just paid the $25 co-pay. But when surgeon's office got the clearance they said they wouldn't accept it and she HAD to go to their psych. (and of course pay that money) So, unfortunately, I doubt if that is going to be much of an option. I think it comes down to either I get the Rx from my pcp and don't take them, or I will have to wait the long wait for an appointment with someone to set up counselling and then end up not being able to get surg till mid to late summer due to my job schedule. Then it worries me that I will loose some of my clearances. I had to get a cardiology, oncology and urology clearance and of course they made me do some additional procedures. Man, if I just hadn't thought I was being so smart and saved the psych clearance to the end. My so called smart thinking was that if I ran into any problems with clearances from my other specialists then I wouldn't have wasted the $360 out of pocket expense. If I only knew then what I know now )

Thanks and I do have to remember to keep my impatience at this point in check. And definitely I wouldn't take any of the meds now (if he gives me a Rx) since I'm not depressed. Shoot I can't wait to get this surg to get off of meds. Just started taking Metaforim and drug for cholesterol. Have been on blood pressure meds for a couple yrs. Lord I just want to try to undo all the damage I've stupidly done to my body by weighing 100 lbs too much. Probably COULD use that counselling to find out "why" I have been so stupid. In my own head I think it's because I use food more to Celebrate and to add to happy times. If I'm feeling sad or anxious about something then I don't want to eat. But give me occasions with family and friends and it can be non-stop. That DEFINITELY isn't right. Especially since I eat pretty healthy during the work week but then on the weekend it all gets blown. It's like in my head it's time to celebrate, relax and have fun and why I need to celebrate with food is for sure a problem with my head. I just need to fix myself and I really want to use the tool of that much smaller tummy. I really feel that given that chance I am going to fight like hell to do what I am supposed to do, follow the rules and stop being so stupid.

Tha's funny because I can cry at Hallmark commercials and Publix (grocery store here in Fl) but I have always been that way. Just always seems like sad or sweet things really do get to me. I'm not really thrilled about being like that and that is one of the things that the psych said indicated I was depressed. I just know that if I was really depressed I would know that myself. Sensitive and emotional I know I am; but, that doesn't always prove definite depression. And, it's really not the fact that she has put that label on me because that isn't something that alarms or worries me. It's really just that it's possibly going to delay my surgery by a few more months and I will admit that I was excited to be finished with all the many requirements and got a disappointment that I wasn't expecting. Ahhhh, the curse of impatience. Like that old saying goes......we make plans and God laughs. Take care

Thank you Melissa for your thougts and support. I googled this Dr and saw a couple other reviews from people who said she ruined their chance for surgery due to making them go for needless additional counselling. Those people she actually DID make them go for like 6 months. So, I guess she concluded I was only depressed enough to pop a couple of pills. Very weird! thanks again and I will update after I see my pcp

Thanks and that's pretty much my plan now. Just hoping I don't have to wait the 5 weeks and really prolong my surgery. Before I posted here I was just going to go into my pcp and tell him that it's nuts that she is making me get medication that I don't feel I need; but, now I am thinking that I will just tell him while I hadn't really considered that I was depressed that maybe she was right and I should have just a low dose (like some of you guys suggested.) Sooooo stupid and Ill save the pills for after the surg in case some of that depression really does set in.

What I like is that she is a psychologist telling you that you need a psychologist to prescribe meds...if she felt that strongly about it, why didn't SHE prescribe them...at least your initial dose. Maybe your primary can overrule her since your primary may know you better. My primary is pretty upfront and I can go in and ask for stupid things like a note for a "mental health day" and get it if I need it. Maybe start with your primary and see where to go from there...you primary will have to clear you for surgery so maybe they will write you a note saying if signs and symptoms of depression occur, they will prescribe you something but for now, you have no signs or symptoms. Well one thing I learned in the last day is that I think only a psychiatrist can write Rx. And my primary dr I think is going to be ticked off about this requirement and likely would try to oppose it. What worries me is I don't really think he would b able to override her decision with the surgeon. And then if I don't get that RX from him on march 1st THEN I would have to wait for appointment with the psychology group. Maybe I better make that 5 week out appt on Monday as a back up, but, then my April surgery date is out the window. Grrrrrrrrrr. Total frustration!!!

I didn't mean to hit send yet..... It has been such a long and grueling 6 1/2 months and I was soooooo looking forward to this appt finishing up all my requirements. I guess she felt I needed some more hoops. And the really strange thing is if she REALLY felt I was not a good candidate mentally then she should have made sure I did some actal time getting help and proving it to her. The way she set it up was..... Either get a rx for meds or just see a psych and set up some counseling sessions. And just have tha verification faxed to her. Which means I can get a RX and throw them away or wait 5 weeks to just go see a psych once, set up appointments and cancel them after I have the surg. Not a very good safety net for someone who REALLY was depressed and needed help. Just a big headache and waste of time for me at this point. She did ask me if I ever have had any counselling and I told her yrs ago I went to OA and I liked that. (course it obviously didn't help me much). But, I'm not opposed to anything that would help me mentally figure out why I have over eaten, but, right now it's just making me frustrated. It was funny cuz one thing she asked me was....what do u think would happen IF u weren't approved for the surgery. I said, I think it would probably kill me. And she jumped on me and said, you mean u would commit suicide and I said Noooooooooo never that. I mean that I had kidney cancer in 2006 and had a kidney removed and then last august was diagnosed with diabetes. One kidney and diabetes could kill me and that I truly believe. I want that surgery really really bad. I want that little bitty tummy so I can stop shoveling an unreasonable amount of food into my body.

Yes, she definitely does deal with All the bariatric patients for this surgeon; you just totally hit the nail on the head when u said it's bs that someone who meets with u for a short time could label that on you. If I ever felt like I was really a depressed person I would be the first to admit I needed help with that and reached out for that help. And so true that most of us who overeat and allow ourselves to become addicted to way too much food aren't what I would call a "normal" person. We obviously each have our own issues. But, that doesn't make everyone a candidate for meds Some sadness and low times are just part of life.

Yes, unfortunately I think she used every psychology 101 fact on me. I think if I don't feeI have a depression issue then the biggest truth would come from your close family members. My mom WAS truly depressed and in later life diagnosed as bi polar. As a child growing up, kids just don't understand that but when I became an adult I realized how sad her problems and life really was. Makes me sad and teary for her and I would have thought a psych would have understood that. One thing I do know and recognize is real depression and this psych totally did a quickie mis-diagnosis. Unfortunately we have to jump through all these hoops and requirements to get to the better side. Just gotta keep on trying here and I guess I should feel grateful that she didn't require me to go to months of counseling b4 she finally approves me. If I can just get that one little valuable rx I will be good to go. THEN I can get healthy AND go buy some pretty clothes. I just won't be asking her to go lunch and shop with me )

I Called a friend who is also going to same place for the surgery and warned her what NOT to do when seeing the shrink. I told her she better be all happy, happy happy when she walks in the door. (Not that that is very realistic, however) I think back now too how she asked me what I was looking forward to most after the surg and I told her first was helping to improve my health and live a longer and better life. AND, also to finally be able to go shopping for clothes and not dread it. She then proceeded to lecture me on turning my food addiction into a shopping addiction. I said, I know how that does happen, BUT, I just want to buy some nice, pretty clothes finally. Sheesh......I just wasn't winning with her at all lol

Thanks for your thoughts and that is a good idea just asking my primary for a low dose of something. I could tell him that of course I feel not happy about my weights and give credit to the psych for that point. Then he might agree to that. As far as finding another surgeon.......I was totally convinced and happy with my choice until a couple days ago. Just unexpected out of all the clearances I have been through and then to hit this roadblock. And, yes, I'm afraid too that if I tell my PCP that I'm not going to take the meds then he won't give me the RX. So, I'll just tell him maybe she is right and I should try just a low dose. Thanks