soccergirl88

I wanted to hear some stories and get advice about dating post op. Have you ladies had success? Have things not changed? My therapist convinced me to join eharmony as an experiment to work on my social skills..I listened to her and all I've gotten out of it is rejection. I figure it's because I'm still "obese" and I've found guys in my age range want the supermodel Barbie types and that's not what I am and I doubt I'll ever be one. My 111 pound weight loss helped my self esteem tremendously but this online dating debacle is starting to bring me down a bit.

So I have a question for all you ladies who've done the online dating thing. Do you wait for men to email you or do you send emails/winks? I went out with a girlfriend of mine this weekend and she said that I should never wink or email men because they are hunters, and part of the fun comes from pursing a woman. Personally I think that's a load of rubbish, it's 2013 and I should be able to initiate contact BUT it leaves me wondering if my lack of success thus far with online dating has to do with initiating contact instead of waiting for someone to get in touch with me. I also feel that emailing can sometimes be an overly complicated thing because you have to say the right thing to grab a man's attention, and I'm not a master in communicating with men, plus as a 25 year old it's hard to find a quality man, most people my age just think about sex, clubs, booze, and more sex.

Wow that's amazing! Congratulations :-) you look great!!

Maybe allow yourself a night snack before bed? If you have left over calories that is. Just make sure what you're eating is protein rich and low carb.

Just a little rant. I finally went on a date with someone I met online. We met up twice in one week just 3 days after we first started communicating online. I was a little apprehensive at first because he weighed like 50 pounds less than me and it made me insecure. But I decides to throw caution to the wind and be open minded. I felt like things were going well and if things stayed at a steady pace the perhaps something could develop from our friendship. But I was given a huge surprise this morning when he texted me that it wouldn't work out between the two of us because he claims I don't talk enough, and that he is looking for someone more active than me(he's the typical Southern California guy that does the hiking, surfing, kayaking thing)...I tried not to take that too personally but it did sting just a bit. And then he told me that we are two different people, that he doesn't like the fact that with my future career choice I'll be living abroad and he wants to stay where he is. I understand this was just my first real experience meeting someone through an online dating site but it was not an encouraging one ????

I think if you lay your cards on the table and let him know what your intentions/expectations are then he shouldn't come out hurt. As others have said before, dating is all about practice. Just don't compromise your standards and your expectations.

I would say it depends on what he's looking for but I don't see the harm in it..it's just a date right?

I have a question for the more seasoned online daters here. Is there a time limit between communicating via email and meeting in person?

Sorry to hear that butterfly_gal! I'm on the same boat as you. I get creepers and men that are 20-30 years older than me emailing and winking at me....it's bizarre isn't it?

I signed up for eharmony and match...match seems to be working better but I've yet to go on a first date :-( I agree it's all about practice! I'm still learning how writer a good first email lol.

Are there any single moms venturing into the world of dating post-op? I keep coming across men who initially like me and when I tell them I have a child, they start back tracking. One even told me he wanted children of his own, not someone else's child. I didn't realize how challenging it could be.

Thanks for the advice ladies! It's much appreciated :-)

Little Debbie Cloud Cake..I wanted to die after I ate one tonight, I got nauseous and sweaty. Never again!

Sleeved 1/11/13. Starting weight: 309. Day of surgery: 289. Current weight: 201. Just 56 pounds away from goal :-)

This is a bit of a TMI post so I apologize in advance! Last Monday I came down with either the stomach flu/food poisoning. I threw up yellow bitter stuff Monday and part of Tuesday then I felt better although a bit dehydrated. I stayed on the BRAT diet and took Zofran just in case and felt better but come on Thursday I once again felt queasy..however to prevent throwing up I took Zofran. Friday night I once again started stowing up so I took myself to Urgent Care and was given Zofran and told it wasn't serious. I awoke a little while ago and threw up yellow bitter stuff once again. So my question is what would you all do? Is this serious enough to run to the ER or should I should wait and call my PCP tomorrow morning?

Thanks for the reply! I had my gallbladder removed almost 4 years ago so I can't imagine what in the world is wrong with me. I've never heard of or experienced stomach flu/food poisoning that is on and off.

Congratulations! I agree on wishing to cut off the extra skin lol its a nuisance for me.

I waited 6 months. Just follow what ever your doctor says :-)

I've made it to the 6th month mark today and am down 73 pounds(plus the 20 I lost pre-op). I've gone from a size 22 to a size 14/16. While I am happy with my progress...it has not been an easy journey. Around the same time I started the pre-op process, I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my lower back that made walking, sitting, and standing a painful experience. I received an epidural injection and it helped tremendously, but I naively thought that was the end of my woes. Shortly after that, I began experiencing terrible upper back pain that made my day to day activities painful and after I was sleeved things only went downhill. I became chronically dehydrated because of my swollen tummy and became depressed which in turn caused me to drop most of my classes during spring semester. My upper back pain progressively got worse and it forced me to miss half the semester(miraculously I still passed). I finally got answers earlier this week after an MRI of the thoracic spine, they found 7 things wrong with me...7!! A complex surgery involving moving my lungs out of the way to fix my spine was suggested. I asked my chiropractor what caused all of this to happen to me, and she said what I've always known all along...my weight. Years of being obese and then morbidly obese caused wear and tear on my spine. I'm 24 years old and was told I had the spine of a 35 year old...that's a hard pill to swallow. It's sad to know that my bad choices and irresponsibility led to the painful nightmare I'm living right now. My biggest regret is not getting this surgery sooner but what's done is done and in time I hope things can get better. For those who are young like me and are considering surgery, just do it....the benefits outweigh the risks...a little extra weight may seem harmless but the truth is we don't know all the potential consequences of obesity until its too late.