I've struggled with telling people from the start of this journey. Mostly because I dread the negative reactions and rude comments. Another issue that I have is a direct result from a traumatic event that happened a few years ago. People focused on that constantly, for a couple of years....and it gets old---you try to heal, move on, live a normal life, and they can't help but ask about it, comment about it, and it can be a downer (even if their intentions are good). I don't want people to focus on this (I do enough of it on my own )
This morning I've figured at some point I may tell the truth when asked, but I won't put out a banner announcing it......and gmanbat's post below couldn't have come at a better time. THANK YOU GMANBAT!
I've just had my one year post op check up appointment this morning and I feel very positive after receiving wonderful feedback from my provider. Although my losses have slowed dramatically these last two months, Adam told me that I am 100% successful and ahead of the curve in terms of my success with the surgery.
My husband and I have really been focusing on getting more activity and my daily calories are in the range of 800-1200 a day - with protein first as always. I met with a trainer last week who has set up a program of simple strength training and cardio to help me get to my goal, which is a healthy BMI <25 - at 5'3" that is 140.
Hubby, who also had a VSG two weeks prior to my own, is essentially at goal and is focused on building muscle. I am statistically right where Adam projected me to be (175) though the number has been back and forth between 175- 178 these past weeks. Just about all of my co-morbidities are resolved - though osteo-arthritis does not have a resolution but rather is managed, my pain and mobility is astronomically better than it used to be.
Adam said that even if I do not lose another pound I am absolutely healthy - and that I have completely turned my health around from what it was 3 years ago. It feels great to know that I have made such great strides - finally, I am getting this monster under control. I showed him the alternate height/weight chart that factors in age and he said that absolutely as we get older it is fine if those numbers are a bit higher - it is still considered healthy.
I have a tendency to rip myself to shreds and to look upon myself as a failure, a history of depression, anxiety, and disordered thinking can tend to do that and I had started to do the same thing with my weight loss progress, beating myself up mentally because I had not yet achieved my ultimate goal - feeling like a failure and forgetting to celebrate the magnificent successes I have achieved. Feeling down because of all of the excess skin, the terrible toll so many years of carrying so many excess lbs. does to one's body - feeling guilt that I had done this to myself, defeated.
Feeling that I would never have ultimate success - it was a bit of a reboot to know that I am already a success in the eyes of this medical practitioner who was with me every step of the way with my surgery, the hematocrit levels that dropped to 19, the internal bleeding that followed, the multiple blood transfusions, the incisions that opened up at home when they finally let me return home from the hospital after a week - and sent me back to the ER. I was miserable for about 8 weeks after my surgery - it certainly took me a bit to recover.
I feel wonderful now, and am close to goal. I need to cherish the journey and recognize the incredible positive changes that my family and I have made over the past few years. It certainly takes a bit of practice to treat oneself well - just like this ongoing physical metamorphosis, it is a process, and there is no finish line. I will get to that goal eventually
