TrishS

I am feeling much better then my last post. I guess it is normal to go through feelings of depression and sadness once in a while. I also have realized that I cant put all the blame on my Dr. I dont think he sees me and says "I am going to mess up her life today" It is just a freak thing that happened. And if you really look at it, its not all really all that bad. I havent slipped or eroded to make me lose my band forever. I just have a leak and its getting replaced. I had an infection in the port and it got removed. That is what is suppose to be done. I went back and edited a lot of my posts on here so it doesnt read so dramatic. I am staying with my Dr. I have been with him a year and I am going to get him the chance to fix this mess. I knew that there could be possiable complications having this I am STILL willing to take that risk. I cant give up hope yet, I have to keep going. I need a better life for myself and if I am willing to go all the way with this... I know my Dr. is too. I started this thing to lose and by golly I AM GOING TO FINISH!!!!!!! Holes, Leaks and all!!!!

I am so down today, I am so sick of being in pain. And I just wish oh how I wish I could just be a normal bandster. I read all thoes wonderful threads about great news and I cant help but feel jealous and that is unlike me at all. I think I will stop reading so much on here and just write in my Journal. I talked to a lawyer, just to talk to see if there is anything I can do, not that i would really do anything I was just curious and wanted to see. But he thinks I dont have much, he said that the Lapband is a high complications rate so its all over looked because I should have known that. I guess poor patient care is part of that. Yeah I might not be totally damaged by this but still.... Oh well its okay I really just wanted to see any how. Gosh it just hurts so bad inside everytime I think of how much I want to be normal... a normal bandster.. to have posts like "I lost 100pounds" or "I went down 2 more sizes" UGH I hate this so much... I always think what if I just had called one other Dr. first. what if.... what if.... what if.... I cant live like this. :think I cant sleep, I have to take 2-3 pain pills before bed... my right side is starting to hurt so bad from sleeping on it so much. My wound burns all night like a sunburn that is being rubbed by a brilo pad. My husband had to stay home from work yesterday to clean the house because I cant. I cant take a normal shower, or a bath... I have to sit there making sure the water doesnt touch my stomach. Sometimes I think I wish I never got this band at all. :cry Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

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I am so down today, I am so sick of being in pain. And I just wish oh how I wish I could just be a normal bandster. I read all thoes wonderful threads about great news and I cant help but feel jealous and that is unlike me at all. I think I will stop reading so much on here and just write in my Journal. I talked to a lawyer, just to talk to see if there is anything I can do, not that i would really do anything I was just curious and wanted to see. But he thinks I dont have much, he said that the Lapband is a high complications rate so its all over looked because I should have known that. I guess poor patient care is part of that. Yeah I might not be totally damaged by this but still.... Oh well its okay I really just wanted to see any how. Gosh it just hurts so bad inside everytime I think of how much I want to be normal... a normal bandster.. to have posts like "I lost 100pounds" or "I went down 2 more sizes" UGH I hate this so much... I always think what if I just had called one other Dr. first. what if.... what if.... what if.... I cant live like this. :think I cant sleep, I have to take 2-3 pain pills before bed... my right side is starting to hurt so bad from sleeping on it so much. My wound burns all night like a sunburn that is being rubbed by a brilo pad. My husband had to stay home from work yesterday to clean the house because I cant. I cant take a normal shower, or a bath... I have to sit there making sure the water doesnt touch my stomach. Sometimes I think I wish I never got this band at all. :cry Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

WOW that is wonderful!!! Congratulations girl!!!!!!!

LOL, thats a good one... thanks for sharing

Happy Birthday Anne:present: :) :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :happybday:

Terri! its great to see you back! Sorry to hear about your mom and brother. They will be in my prayers. Take Care Hun!

Happy Birthday Kathy!!!! :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!! :happybday:

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Congratulations:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

You, your dad and sister will be in my thoughts and prayers today. I pray that the Lord will send his angels to be with you this day and that He will give peace to your and dad and sister. Take Care and God Bless! Let us know how everything goes. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) and Congrats on your new band!

Today I am feeling a little better. I do have a constant pain but maybe a 3-4 level and not a 6-7 level like it has been. So the packing today went good too. There is still a little bit of pus but not as much there is more blood instead. This is good because it shows that there are new cells there. I cant wait to get this heal and so I can find a new band Dr. and get going on my new band and my new life. I will then put all this past me and move on to losing weight! I cant wait for that day. I take showers still but I cover the area really really good, it doent even get wet at all. So now I smell good and keeping my wound safe. I know everything is going to work out. But sometimes it is so hard to see that light. I just think it will be forever and I am already so sick of have to lay there and get my wound packed. I was even doing it 2 times a day there for a while. Lets see if my band Dr. now or the nurse calls me this week to see how I am doing. I doubt they will. Anyway thats all I really have to say today.

Today I am feeling a little better. I do have a constant pain but maybe a 3-4 level and not a 6-7 level like it has been. So the packing today went good too. There is still a little bit of pus but not as much there is more blood instead. This is good because it shows that there are new cells there. I cant wait to get this heal and so I can find a new band Dr. and get going on my new band and my new life. I will then put all this past me and move on to losing weight! I cant wait for that day. I take showers still but I cover the area really really good, it doent even get wet at all. So now I smell good and keeping my wound safe. I know everything is going to work out. But sometimes it is so hard to see that light. I just think it will be forever and I am already so sick of have to lay there and get my wound packed. I was even doing it 2 times a day there for a while. Lets see if my band Dr. now or the nurse calls me this week to see how I am doing. I doubt they will. Anyway thats all I really have to say today.

Sorry for bring up my problems again. But I just remebered something that really urks me. You know how your port is stitched into place with the muscle. Well I had my stitched 4 times. Normally I would think one would cut the stitch and pull it out that way. Not with me, my Dr. cut round the stitch and took the meat with the stitches..... so a small piece of meat was hanging off the stitch he took off... 4 times!!!!! ugh This bothers me. Okay thanks for letting me vent..... again......

Just my band was removed. I am suppose to go May 25th to get a new band. I still have the band in now with no port. But I think with the healing process I will have to wait much long then May 25th to get a new band. Plus I want to find another Dr. Thank you for reading my story. I know It was long :biggrin:

The continued story... May 2, 2006 ~ I went in to see my Primary Dr. He felt so bad with what has happened to me. I told him the story and as I started to cry I told him " Dr. Allen, please, I dont want to see that Dr. again I am so scared" He told me that I didnt have to. That he just wants to get my wound all healed up and HE will find me another band Dr. WOW I felt so good about all that. He also wanted me to see a wound specialist once a week until everything heals up. I really didnt want to but he was really conserned so I agreed. He also gave me more pain meds to help me deal with this pain. May 4, 2006 ~ I went to see Dr. Driscoll a wound specialist. He was really nice, and I had to go through the whole story with him too. He looked at my wound and said that it looks like it is healing nicely but he wanted me in there once a week. So I made an appointment to see his partner next Thursday. ***Thats My Story*** Today, Me and my Hubby went to my moms house to vist. As I was sitting on the chair I would get these bad sharp pains where my wound is, like my muscles were spasaming it was very pain full. But when John (my husband) was packing my wound today I noticed a lot more blood then pus. This excites me because that is a good sign of healing... nice new cells building up in there. I guess I have to take each day one at a time Its hard but I know I can do it. I still cant wait to get a new band. Boy can I eat! last week I was so depressed I ate 2 bags of candy in 2 days :kiss I should NOT have done that. I need to start really watching what I am eating. I dont want to gain the 50 pounds I already lost. One more thing before I go..... NOT one time this whole week did my Band Dr. call or the nurse just to see how I was doing... Nothing! how mean!!!! well fine then because I am NOT going back there again! Time for me to enjoy a nice weekend with John! :clap2:

The continued story... May 2, 2006 ~ I went in to see my Primary Dr. He felt so bad with what has happened to me. I told him the story and as I started to cry I told him " Dr. Allen, please, I dont want to see that Dr. again I am so scared" He told me that I didnt have to. That he just wants to get my wound all healed up and HE will find me another band Dr. WOW I felt so good about all that. He also wanted me to see a wound specialist once a week until everything heals up. I really didnt want to but he was really conserned so I agreed. He also gave me more pain meds to help me deal with this pain. May 4, 2006 ~ I went to see Dr. Driscoll a wound specialist. He was really nice, and I had to go through the whole story with him too. He looked at my wound and said that it looks like it is healing nicely but he wanted me in there once a week. So I made an appointment to see his partner next Thursday. ***Thats My Story*** Today, Me and my Hubby went to my moms house to vist. As I was sitting on the chair I would get these bad sharp pains where my wound is, like my muscles were spasaming it was very pain full. But when John (my husband) was packing my wound today I noticed a lot more blood then pus. This excites me because that is a good sign of healing... nice new cells building up in there. I guess I have to take each day one at a time Its hard but I know I can do it. I still cant wait to get a new band. Boy can I eat! last week I was so depressed I ate 2 bags of candy in 2 days :kiss I should NOT have done that. I need to start really watching what I am eating. I dont want to gain the 50 pounds I already lost. One more thing before I go..... NOT one time this whole week did my Band Dr. call or the nurse just to see how I was doing... Nothing! how mean!!!! well fine then because I am NOT going back there again! Time for me to enjoy a nice weekend with John! :clap2:

The continued story.... March 10, 2006 ~ 3 months later from my port replacement, I went back to my Dr. for a fill (6th fill). He was very excited to tell me that they use something to numb the area now. Dang that needle hurt worse then the fill needle. Well he added saline (I dont know how much) I felt it, I drank water and poof it was gone. Again he added more saline, I felt it, I drank water and poof gone. He unscrewed the needle applicator and added more saline. Filled me up all the way I felt it really tight, I drank water and poof gone!... He put his head down. Boy I have seen this look before, as tears started forming in my eyes I heard what no bandster wants to hear. He said I have a leak in my band. OMG!!!! :Banane59: I just had the dang port replaced because of a leak. Okay so I get a new band, that can't be to hard can it? I wanted to have surgery on April 27, 2006 one day before my 1 year. My neice was getting married the 29th so that was not going to happen, so I changed it to May 25, 2006. After this last fill that area got really red and puffy, and it bruised. I wasnt to worried about it, but it got worse. After a week it formed a scab. after 2 weeks the scab came off and it was yellowish pus looking. 3 weeks it was only getting more red. I finally went to my Primary Dr. (thanks to my LBT family that pushed me into going) He put me on Antibiotics oral and cream. After 8 days there was no change. My port was pretty sore and I was getting sharp burning pains. So I made an appointment. April 21, 2006 ~ I went in at 12:30pm and my Band Dr. looked at the infection. And in one week he would stitch it back up. My port came out in his office at 5:00pm He numbed the area really good, I didn't feel a thing. He packed my wound. I started having bad chest pain, right were my band is it was hurting so bad, the nurse ran out to catch my Dr. before he walked out the door. He just told me that he might have tugged on the tubing a bit and shifted the band but I am fine. Then I COULDNT BREATHE! omg I was so scared I was gasping crying hitting my husband on the shoulder looking at him in desperation... I was scared I started seeing stars and gasping as much as I can. The nurse ran out to catch the Dr. again, he came back layed me down and I cried (no sound) and kicking still gasping for air. He said they might have let some air in to my diaphram and that would make me feel that way. finally I calmed down and was able to breathe with a little bit of pain still. I was shocked! I just wanted to go home. Instead we were stuck in a hotel, until the next day. April 22, 2006 ~ I went in that Saturday morning for my Dr. to pack my wound for the first time. My husband watch carefully. :cry I was not put on Antibiotics, I was told that I would heal better without them. Packing it has been a challenge and lots of pain. My husbands mom owns a hospice and sent one of her nurses over to help with the packing and supplied us with tons of packing material. What a blessing. April 27, 2006 ~ My Dr. told me I could take a shower with the wound unpacked and let the water run inside even soap running inside would be ok. I did this and it burned very bad. but I smelled really good LOL. by the evening I was not feeling well so I went to take a nap, I woke up shivering as though it was below freezing. (hmmm i wonder what this ment ha) I sat in a bath with hot hot water ( the water was not touching my bandages) I took my temp and it was 101.4 :sick thats scarey. I got out dried off and my husband did my packing. As he pulled out the packing it was yellow slimy and just plain gross. It was full of pus. I was scared I tried calling the hospital where my band Dr. is and they would not page him for me. But lucky me he had gave me his pager number. So I called to page him myself. I heard *beep, this pager is out of order* Oh cute. I was ready to pack and head out to CO (remember he was going to stitch me up that next day anyway so I already had an appointment) I had to lay down for a bit first I couldnt hold my eyes open. My mom called and I told her what was going on, she cried asking me to just go to ER, I told her I was fine and we will be leaving to CO soon. next thing I knew my sister called begging me to go to ER so okay I went. Emergency Room ~ 6 hours Ugh what a night. I got on IV drip of antibiotics and took oral antibiotics too. my fever came down and he gave me antibiotics to take for 10 days. I told him that my band Dr. wanted to stitch me up that friday. He said that werid you cant stitch up a hole of that size. And he was also in shock that I wasnt already on antibiotics. Hmmmmm Well we were there until 3:00am April 28, 2006 ~ My 1 year Band Anniversary. I should be happy right... well I couldnt be more sad. I called to my band Dr. office and the nurse was not in yet so I left her a message, that I was in ER and I wont be going to see my Dr. today. I waited for her to call me back but she never did I finally called her back. she said "I hear you were in the ER last night what happened?" I told her I got a bad infection. She said "Yeah thats why we took out your port, because of an infection" NO!!!!! I her told I was sickand had a temp of 101.4 and that there was so much pus. I started to cry. She said "oh okay did you want to resedule your appointment?" What is she joking??? Not a how are you doing now? is everything okay? UGH!!!! I told her sure 3 weeks! put me down. Well glad that was all over. I still have more. So until next time!

Congrats on your weightloss. Looks like you have done really good. Its nice to see the new YOU! and do everything you dreamed of doing. I am happy with you!!!

How cute!!!!!! Happy Cinco de Mayo!!! No Margaritas for me just hand me the bottle of Tequllia, maybe some salt and lime to go with it.

OMG its summer... I am so going to miss out. No swimming for me. My birthday is in June... maybe my wound hole will be healed by then. Right now thats would be the best birthday gift.. That and a NEW band! hehe Have a Happy Summer!!!!!

The continued story.... March 10, 2006 ~ 3 months later from my port replacement, I went back to my Dr. for a fill (6th fill). He was very excited to tell me that they use something to numb the area now. Dang that needle hurt worse then the fill needle. Well he added saline (I dont know how much) I felt it, I drank water and poof it was gone. Again he added more saline, I felt it, I drank water and poof gone. He unscrewed the needle applicator and added more saline. Filled me up all the way I felt it really tight, I drank water and poof gone!... He put his head down. Boy I have seen this look before, as tears started forming in my eyes I heard what no bandster wants to hear. He said I have a leak in my band. OMG!!!! :confused: I just had the dang port replaced because of a leak. Okay so I get a new band, that can't be to hard can it? I wanted to have surgery on April 27, 2006 one day before my 1 year. My neice was getting married the 29th so that was not going to happen, so I changed it to May 25, 2006. After this last fill that area got really red and puffy, and it bruised. I wasnt to worried about it, but it got worse. After a week it formed a scab. after 2 weeks the scab came off and it was yellowish pus looking. 3 weeks it was only getting more red. I finally went to my Primary Dr. (thanks to my LBT family that pushed me into going) He put me on Antibiotics oral and cream. After 8 days there was no change. My port was pretty sore and I was getting sharp burning pains. So I made an appointment. April 21, 2006 ~ I went in at 12:30pm and my Band Dr. looked at the infection. And in one week he would stitch it back up. My port came out in his office at 5:00pm He numbed the area really good, I didn't feel a thing. He packed my wound. I started having bad chest pain, right were my band is it was hurting so bad, the nurse ran out to catch my Dr. before he walked out the door. He just told me that he might have tugged on the tubing a bit and shifted the band but I am fine. Then I COULDNT BREATHE! omg I was so scared I was gasping crying hitting my husband on the shoulder looking at him in desperation... I was scared I started seeing stars and gasping as much as I can. The nurse ran out to catch the Dr. again, he came back layed me down and I cried (no sound) and kicking still gasping for air. He said they might have let some air in to my diaphram and that would make me feel that way. finally I calmed down and was able to breathe with a little bit of pain still. I was shocked! I just wanted to go home. Instead we were stuck in a hotel, until the next day. April 22, 2006 ~ I went in that Saturday morning for my Dr. to pack my wound for the first time. My husband watch carefully. :cry I was not put on Antibiotics, I was told that I would heal better without them. Packing it has been a challenge and lots of pain. My husbands mom owns a hospice and sent one of her nurses over to help with the packing and supplied us with tons of packing material. What a blessing. April 27, 2006 ~ My Dr. told me I could take a shower with the wound unpacked and let the water run inside even soap running inside would be ok. I did this and it burned very bad. but I smelled really good LOL. by the evening I was not feeling well so I went to take a nap, I woke up shivering as though it was below freezing. (hmmm i wonder what this ment ha) I sat in a bath with hot hot water ( the water was not touching my bandages) I took my temp and it was 101.4 :sick thats scarey. I got out dried off and my husband did my packing. As he pulled out the packing it was yellow slimy and just plain gross. It was full of pus. I was scared I tried calling the hospital where my band Dr. is and they would not page him for me. But lucky me he had gave me his pager number. So I called to page him myself. I heard *beep, this pager is out of order* Oh cute. I was ready to pack and head out to CO (remember he was going to stitch me up that next day anyway so I already had an appointment) I had to lay down for a bit first I couldnt hold my eyes open. My mom called and I told her what was going on, she cried asking me to just go to ER, I told her I was fine and we will be leaving to CO soon. next thing I knew my sister called begging me to go to ER so okay I went. Emergency Room ~ 6 hours Ugh what a night. I got on IV drip of antibiotics and took oral antibiotics too. my fever came down and he gave me antibiotics to take for 10 days. I told him that my band Dr. wanted to stitch me up that friday. He said that werid you cant stitch up a hole of that size. And he was also in shock that I wasnt already on antibiotics. Hmmmmm Well we were there until 3:00am April 28, 2006 ~ My 1 year Band Anniversary. I should be happy right... well I couldnt be more sad. I called to my band Dr. office and the nurse was not in yet so I left her a message, that I was in ER and I wont be going to see my Dr. today. I waited for her to call me back but she never did I finally called her back. she said "I hear you were in the ER last night what happened?" I told her I got a bad infection. She said "Yeah thats why we took out your port, because of an infection" NO!!!!! I her told I was sickand had a temp of 101.4 and that there was so much pus. I started to cry. She said "oh okay did you want to resedule your appointment?" What is she joking??? Not a how are you doing now? is everything okay? UGH!!!! I told her sure 3 weeks! put me down. Well glad that was all over. I still have more. So until next time!

Kellie, He should not have been so rude with you. It hard enough trying to eat right and follow all the rules. Im sorry you went thourgh that. But maybe you do need a unfill, just for a while. Then you can go back and get a fill once your heart burn is better. But to loose the Band now thats crazy!!!! You can cry on my shoulder anytime... I will even cry with you :eek: Hang in there girl... you have done such a wonderful job so far... and You will continue to do a wonderful job! Maybe your Dr. was constipated that day! LOL

Wow you have been one busy chica. We did miss ya here though! Sorry to hear about your mom. And I hope your arm gets better... Infections suck man!!!!! I know!! lol Girl hang in there... rest your body, and mind! You need it. Your in my thoughts (((((((((((hugs)))))))))

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Way To Go:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Congratulations!!!!!!!!!