itstheamarie

(3 weeks Pre-op) I confess that I'm deathly afraid of complications, even though I am low risk. I confess that I am attempting to give up carbonated drinks and caffeine before surgery, but I haven't been able to kick sugar yet. My caffeine withdrawls have been exhausting! I confess that I am afraid of resorting back to my old ways, and I can't imagine myself being able to resist sweets. I confess that I actually enjoy working out, but I hate that my body limits me. I can't wait to be able to run and dance without feeling like my knees are going to break and my is going heart explode. I confess that I am ready to kick this weight's a$$ so that I can do all the things 25 year olds should be doing!

I have been overweight my entire life, but I had accepted that I am a "big girl." I have lost and maintained for a while, then eventually gained over and over. Luckily every time I diet, I pick up a good habit. At this point, I don't drink any sugar and exercise 3-4 times per week. That has been enough to maintain but not really lose. Lately, my knee has been getting the best of me while I jog or do Zumba, to the point where I have to back down. Then, at Christmas dinner, as my diabetic aunt and grandpa were checking their blood sugar, I took a good look at my aunt, who everyone has always compared me to physically. She is about a size 24/26, and has had numerous surgeries for her obesity related health problems. I asked here what size she was at my age (25)- turns out she was exactly my size (18/20). At that moment, I felt like I was looking into a mirror of my future. I had to decide if wanted to live like that or if I wanted to change my fate. Scheduled surgery 2/7/2013.