vinesqueen

OH MY GODDESS!!!! They have sexy bras in G cups! No more granny bras for me! Oh if only I wasn't a starving student!

We always had a few chickens when I was a kid. I do have the best chicken & ducktape story ever though. It is nearly as impressive as Mike the Headless Chicken in fact. But that's just my humble opionion. .... so maybe we were actaully a circus family in fact, but we just didn't tour.... hmmmm

See, the way I hint there are no confusions. "Mike, you need to fix the power mower Spud can mow the yard." Or, "No, the spots right THERE!" It is my experience that most men need to be told specifics, not hints. And never ever, "if you loved me you would know what's wrong." Mamma don't play those games.

I'm still just about 250 pounds and I wear pants anywhere in the size 22 down to a size 18, depending on the cut... I'm 5'5" so I'm average height... I was talking with my therapist and she wanted to know why I wanted to lose weight. I pointed out that I"m morbidly obese and she doesn't believe me. Weird weird weird. She could obviously see that I'm a large woman, but she just couldn't see me as obese or even MO. Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. Keep that in mind Zoe and Maru! And when you describe yourself as having purple (or now magenta) hair, you never ever have to mention size. (well, almost never...)

All i can offer is my sympathy and support. I'm sorry you are having such a rough go of it!

Thanks Rene! Petition signed!

Hi Saffy, please join us on the support forum under Slow Losers--Unite! thread. You need some extra care and help figuring out your situation. http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=10174&page=1&pp=15

Of course, it all depends on what your definition of "normal" is, right? The normal I had grown accustomed to was not a good place to be physically, emotionally or mentaly. Before being banded, I was slowly dieing from resperatory failure. A slow lingering death, instead of my prefered "death by misadventure :D" My normal life was one filled with fear and dozens of asthma inhalers and nebulizers and so many trips to the ER I was starting to be on first name contact with the nurses and doctors. That was my normal. This is my normal: I have one inhaler burried somewhere in my bookbag. I have one in my purse, I think. My nebulizer is on a shelf in my closet, gathering dust and I don't even have any duo-neb in my fridge. I take the stairs, unless I need to go up more than 3 flights at once. I am not afraid I'm going to die gasping like a fish. I'm a slow loser. Some days I'm content with my list of non-scale victories (NSVs) some days I'm not. But I'm not dead.

Tuesday was really hard for me. I've been beating myself up because I'm not losing weight. I mean, I'm seriously obsessing over this. I obsessively count calories trying to stay near the 1200 calorie mark, but I allow myself +/- 100 calories before I wig out. I know that doesn't make sense, none of this does. I feel like a failure. All around us we se so many people "6 months out and I've lot 70 pounds!" People that started with very close to my BMI & height/weight. I see posts from newbies "help! I'm two months out and have only lost 50 pound, how can I lose more?!" and I want to scream, I want to throw things at my monitor. I want to rant and rail at them, tell them to shut the hell up. I'm very happy for the rabbits amongst us. I cellabrate their rappid victories, their fame and glory, but at the same time, I rant and rail. I am envious and jellous, which is know isn't good for my soul, but I cannot help the emotions. I would never want to see any of them the frustrations I feel; I never wish them ill, I only wish some of their success was mine. On the other board I'm on, I don't get any real support there, I only feel like I get beaten up there... I had a serious PB with Peanut Butter on toast... The only feed back I got was "oh I never eat peanut butter, bla bla bla" Well, you got your band with a BMI of 32, so SHUT THE HELL UP! I've been seeing a therapist about my trouble. She has some experience with eating disorders, this being a college campus and all, but no experience with anyone with WLS. *sigh* But she and I decided that I should just forget this band thing. I'm not able to function at school.. I mean I'm seriously obsessing over this and driving myself into deperession. Not a healthy place. She said that I should probably stop going to the on-line support groups that I currently use, and find a group for folks that are not successful with the band. I thought that was probably a good idea. That I should find people who were struggling with the same lack of success I find myself facing. She also said that I need to stop counting calories. That I need to just back away from the whole weight loss thing right now, since it has taken over my life, and not in a healthy way either. Not being able to study or do my school work is bad bad bad for a college student, especially one on a scholarship with academic requirements... Well, that was Tuesday afternoon. When I got home from work, there was your "Slow Loosers Unite!" thread. I broke down and cried really hard when I saw it. I didn't have to go find the slow loosers, they were there waiting for me with their squishy hugs and soft arms. Not to judge me as harshly as I judge myself, but to accept me and to celabrate me like I cannot. And so, I sit here with tears streaming down my cheeks, salty pain yet salty hope as well.

Heck yeah Megan! We need all the wisdom we can get! I feel like I'm just treading Water. I know things are happening, I wouldn't be having so many NSVs, but I don't know how to deal with the frustration. I just had another fill yesterday, an additional .5 cc, so that puts me over 2ccs. I didn't feel any different yesterday, but I know that it takes a while for fills to kick in. *sigh* It's difficult to wrap my miind around the concept of a successful weight loss surgery without dramatic weight loss. Does that make sense? Kim, I think the inches lost thread is a great idea! That's part of Nana~'s Holiday challenge, and I love it. More realistic for some of us than just a staight pounds lost.

may the cities in your wake burn like candles on your cake!!!!~

I don't know about that, but I've been using the bubble bath as a shower gell, and I can attest that it shrunck my ass, hips and thighs to the point I can take a bath without becoming The Crystal Dam!

oh CRAP! I'd completely forgotten about her being down there! Thanks for starting this Letha! you-hoo, Paula! Paaaala!

I think we need to get Burnsun to do the flowergirl dresses... Someone queue Jenna's booty shanking dance, if ever it was a time for that it's now! Quick! Its a celebration emergency!

Nothing really different to report. Yesterday during our warm-ups we did abs.... I did something like 85 crunches of various flavors, plus some yoga & pilaties. Then I belly danced for 40 minutes or so....

does it matter if it is a troll or not? We know someone died on that day, someone somewhere died. I think the important thing is that we feel compassion and are compassionate. Someone somewhere is in grief and mourning. I think that by the simple act of caring enough to send an anonomous condolence card into the void of the net adds to the cosmic net balance of good. Someone somewhere gets to reap the benifit of that extra positive energy. We all get the benifit of humanity.

Oh! how you carry yourself, how you project yourself to others is critiical! People usually think I'm about two inches taller than I actually am. Oh to be 5'7".... I'm usually very confident, and people generally respond positively to that.

Broken hearts seem to hurt more than broken bones. Hugs, you will get through this. Please give yourself plenty of grief time, mourning relationships is everybit as important as morning other deaths. Please listen to Donali, she is so right.

Michelle, I don't think you qualify. I don't your awesomely skinny little butt has 5 pounds to spare! I firmly believe you are well within the 25-35% body fat that is suggested for women our age. In fact, after having met you, I don't believe you were ever fat to begin with! (You or Jenna! So there! Hah!) Yea! Letha's in, especially since you need support to maintian. Okay, here's our very own Holiday challenge. One new NSV per week until Thanksgiving. These can be as simple as taking the stairs for the first time, reducing medication (as needed of course), to something complex like being able to look at your self naked, or letting your SO see you naked without you freaking out. My NSV this week is that you can see muscle definition in my forearms and calves. Today I did 85 crunches of various flavors.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I pray that all our LBT friends who are soon to be banded are kept safe. Goddess Bless.

I accept the nomination for Leader of the Slow Loosers. I actually started to cry when I read this thread. At the rate I'm going, I will lose 2 more pounds by Christmas. Fill or no fill. Well, Kathy, You qualify. You were banded 4/8/05 and initally lost 16 pounds, followed by a 13 pound loss since then, right? If I give you 6 weeks to lose the 16 inital pounds, that means you've lost 13 pounds since 5/27; 18 weeks. Sorry. I really wanted to not let you in, really wanted you to be a rabbit.... As your leader, I want everyone to start making their list of NSVs, and create your own thread. Trust me when I say that your NSV list is vitally important to keeping your head held high, to keep yourself on track, to give yourself some recognition. Let me repeat that last part, "to give yourself recognition."

Y'all are way too funny! I've only written depressing and dark haiku

Then I guess I don't PB. I vomit, dry heaves and everything. Days like this I just hate my band. I just going to be fat forever.

MALE VETERINARIAN NAMED AS ACTING HEAD OF FDA OFFICE OF WOMEN'S HEALTH (September 16): Dr. Norris Alderson, currently the Associate Commissioner for Science, was appointed as the acting director of the FDA's Office of Women's Health, following the departure of Susan Wood, who resigned in late August in protest over the FDA's actions related to Plan B. The majority of Dr. Norris's FDA career has been in the Center for Veterinary Medicine. What does this mean that the current administration thinks about women? Are their medication/medical needs taught in Veterinary Schools?

My husband's visiting me for the weekend, so we went out to eat since the last think on my mind is cooking..... I thought I would share what it's like when we go out to eat. DH has been banded for 20 months, and I've been banded for 6 months. He has lost almost 200 pounds with at least 100 150 to go. I've not done spectaularly (someone had me a tissue to dry my tears... ) Friday we went to dinner at a national chain, Applebee's. I had a drink and ordered two different appetizer plates. The big sampler and and order of BBQ ribblets. We realized too late that we should have only ordered on of the appetizers for the both of us, but we had the left overs for Breakfast and lunch. Last night, he took me to one of the nicer restaurants here in Pocatello. We had drinks, and ordered the baked garlic and brie appetizer with small pieces of toasted french bread, house salads (I'll go there just for their house salad!), and we split a steak, a rib eye. There was also a small loaf of bread with dipping oil (olive oil, fresh parmisan and basil) This is what we managed to eat: Appetizer: we each had two pieces of toast with roasted garlic and brie. The bread is about the size of a Soup spoon, maybe a little larger, depending on your flatwear. Salad: we ate half our salads. Main entree: We split a steak, but only managed to eat half the entree between us. Maybe 4 bites of the garlic mashed potato. (No one does potatoes like Idaho...) No desert because we were stuffed. I made sure to re-asure the waiter that there was nothing wrong with the food, it was just that we couldn't eat much. I didn't say *why* we couldn't eat much. I was my charming best towards the waiter, and he kept clearing our courses and stacking them all boxed for us. So. Today for breakfast I had my leftover salad. For lunch, I'll have DH's left over salad and some of the appetizer. Dinner will be one of the steaks and tomorrow's dinner will be the other left over steak. Oh, and I'll have the brie and garlic and roasted tomato all week no doubt! So, all you new bandsters, this is the sort of experience you can look forward to! Prebanding, we would have had a couple of drinks, (okay, that didn't change for me post banding ) an appetizer, at least two loaves of bread, our own entree and desert. I would have brought half my entree back, but I never could eat a lot in one sitting.... We ordered the rib eye because it is the "most flavorful." Next time, we find out their "most tender" cut.... LAUGHTER