vinesqueen

Well, here's my current purse. I never set it on the ground.

Hurray! Congrats! Thank you for sharing your pix with us Shelly. Such a beautiful bride, and the weather looks like it couldn't have been better. Where did you hold the cerimony?

My favorite NSVs do not belong to me. Coyotegirl (Terri) walking a few steps for the first time in years Being able to put my arms around my husband for the first time in our relationship because he's lost so much weight. My fingers actually touch! (he was 600 pounds when he was first banded 3 years ago.) My favorite NSVs that belongs to me: I didn't die from resperatory failure. My second one might sound weird, but it has to be being finally diagnosed with Cushing's. I would have never been diagnosed with it, and it too would have killed me.

Oh Dianne! I'm so very sorry to hear about this. I will keep you in my thoughts. ((((hugs)))) Oh, and you keep them on their toes!

One of the ways that I deal with stress is through humor. I kno that many feel it in bad taste, or poor form to make fun, but this is how I deal. I once had a pointy-hair boss tell me she was goining to write me up for making fun of people with breathing problems. She was personally offended by all the Darth Vader breathing impressions and the canary-in-the-mine jokes. No, someting you have to understand, she was offended by me making fun of me. So there you go. For now, I think I'm out of my FREAK-OUT panic mode, and I'm ready to be me again, ready to reclaim my life again. So, as part of me being me, I thought I should name the tumor. I mean, we have 18 bazillion names for our fun bits, and while it isn't a fun bit perse, there is nothing in the brain tumor handbook that says I can't do this. So, let's hear those suggestions!

Oh Celiest! A self cleaning house! Woot! Actually that kind of gives me the willies, but you have to look at the bright side, right?!

On thing to keep in mind is that when we are heavy, we cary our bodies in a certian way, we are used to moving a certian way. Once we lose weight, things shift. I'm sure Capt'n Jack can give a better explanation. Of course, all weight loss is purely hearsay.

I've been thinking about this, and I think it qualifies as an NSV. You have figured out how to MAINTAIN! Isn't that the name of the game? Learning how to maintain once you have lost? I think being able to take a break means that you have learned a valuable lesson. Congrats!

Hi Sea, 3 in 10 days isn't slow! Congrats on that! And yes, excersize is a vital component to losing weight!

Calling all Winded Wabbits! This is the thread dedicated to all you Wabbits that have slowed down to a more leisurely pace, somewhat akin to our venerable Tutle tempo. We Turtles are so excited for you, for your inital blazing success, and we honestly feel your pain probably better than you understand yourselves. The long hard struggle just to lose a few pounds is so very frustrating. The Turtle Tribe understands that. What we cannot quite understand is how hard it is for y'all to hit that wall of plateau. Winded Wabbits, I propose that you define yourselves as someone that initially lost weight at an amazing pace, but as you get closer to your goals, your loss has slowed down. Your Mission will be to stick together as a group. There is always strength in numbers. As you work your way off your long plateau, you will offer encouragement to each other and chant the LBTSL ( the LapBand Talk Slow Loser) mantra of "It's not a race, it's not a race" over and over again. As well as your very own mantra “We did it before, we can do it again!” The Turtle Tribe cannot elect a leader, and I don’t even know if it is appropriate for one of our tribe to suggest a leader to you. You must self select. We know you will pick wisely.

Congrats Terri! I'm so happy for you! Exclellent work! This definaltely deserves a booty shaking dance from Jenna!

Dasongbird, it's time to go to a different doctor. If you are not losing weight with your band, it's time to start demanding answers from different doctors. Your surgeon has basically one tool in his or her tool box: surgery. Surgery doesn't work for everyone, because not everyone needs surgery. If you are not losing with your band, then you need to see someone who specializes in metabolics. It might mean that you need to see an Endocrinologist, but do not stop demanding answers. Push! Fight for your health!

I just had to share this! I can how put my arms around my husband and touch my fingers! When my husband started his journey, he weighed 600 pound and could not wal through a doorway. He hasn't gone to get weighed recently, but he has now lost enough weight that I can actually put my arms around him! He's been 400 pounds and greater our entire relationship, and he's now the smallest he's ever been. I'm so excited!

Yes Kathy, that is exactly what happens! With cyclical Cushing's, also called intermitend, the tumor turns off and on. When it turns on, it puts out cortisol, and when it shuts off, it, well, doesn't. Right now I seem to be in a two week off and on cycle. I feel myself starting to hit a low, I know, because I'm getting fatigued again and I can see in the dark again. When Pitunia is "on" I cannot see in the dark, to the point where I can't drive at night. So, now it's turning off again. I just hope that I don't end up with my adrenals shut down, that is frightening indeed. The next few weeks will tell.

My DH was banded 3 years ago, this week. I really am so proud of him!

:update: Well, I thought I would bump this. I've been testing like a fiend since I got back from OHSU in Portland, and I got a call lastweek from my Endo there. My cortisol level on 6/21 was 214, The normal range high is 50 to 80. So, brain surgery looks like it is going to be in my near future!

Hey Christina, sweetie, just wanted to check in on you again. I've been away on vacation, and didn't have access to the internet. Just wanting to send you good vibrations.

Dr. L called last week to tell me that I'd tested really high I went through a whole range of emotions. 214 from 6/21. He wanted to know what was going on with me that day, but I was on vacation in Seaside OR, trying to forget that I had any problems at all. Funny how things come and drag you away from the lovely river in Egypt… Part of me was very excited, part of me was very distressed. Yes, I know the MRI showed a tumor. Yes I know part of the beauty of the River is that it is a defense mechanism. So, with the number I am closer to some sort of resolution. I call my husband and cried after I got off the phone with Dr. L. This makes it more real, it means that it isn't a delusion, that it isn't a fabrication. I still don't know how I feel. It is so hard, for so many reasons. I mean, on the one hand we desperately want answers, answers to why we have all these crazy symptoms. But unfortunately, the answers are as frightening as they come. I don't want this, but I do. It's terrible, but wonderful sort of. It is validation. It is hope, but a hope that brings with it new fear. That number brings out new questions, new unknowns that I have to deal with. I know that other people have tread the road that lies ahead of me, and I am grateful that they are willing to share what they have seen and felt, willing to share their experiences both good and bad. This number represents validation. Validation that this is real. I too think that the testing is nearing an end. I feel that this is starting to speed-up, that it is becoming faster and faster. I know that my cycle is speeding up, and getting stronger at the same time. Like it's some sort of demented oscilloscope. There are some days where I feel like I'm going through a full cycle in a day. But I want this to stop. I want it to stop, but I am afraid that once this get taken care of, that I'll be fixed in a place where I feel terrible. I am starting to recognize where I am, by how I feel. I have good and bad days, of course, but I'm afraid that I'll get "fixed" in a low state. I suppose we all have this same fear. Damn, I'm crying at a stupid twilight zone episode. The low has started. I only hope that I don't have the same depths of lows as June. I ended up with my adrenals shutting. Ending up in the ER because it scared my son and he called 911.

Dr. L called last week to tell me that I'd tested really high I went through a whole range of emotions. 214 from 6/21. He wanted to know what was going on with me that day, but I was on vacation in Seaside OR, trying to forget that I had any problems at all. Funny how things come and drag you away from the lovely river in Egypt… Part of me was very excited, part of me was very distressed. Yes, I know the MRI showed a tumor. Yes I know part of the beauty of the River is that it is a defense mechanism. So, with the number I am closer to some sort of resolution. I call my husband and cried after I got off the phone with Dr. L. This makes it more real, it means that it isn't a delusion, that it isn't a fabrication. I still don't know how I feel. It is so hard, for so many reasons. I mean, on the one hand we desperately want answers, answers to why we have all these crazy symptoms. But unfortunately, the answers are as frightening as they come. I don't want this, but I do. It's terrible, but wonderful sort of. It is validation. It is hope, but a hope that brings with it new fear. That number brings out new questions, new unknowns that I have to deal with. I know that other people have tread the road that lies ahead of me, and I am grateful that they are willing to share what they have seen and felt, willing to share their experiences both good and bad. This number represents validation. Validation that this is real. I too think that the testing is nearing an end. I feel that this is starting to speed-up, that it is becoming faster and faster. I know that my cycle is speeding up, and getting stronger at the same time. Like it's some sort of demented oscilloscope. There are some days where I feel like I'm going through a full cycle in a day. But I want this to stop. I want it to stop, but I am afraid that once this get taken care of, that I'll be fixed in a place where I feel terrible. I am starting to recognize where I am, by how I feel. I have good and bad days, of course, but I'm afraid that I'll get "fixed" in a low state. I suppose we all have this same fear. Damn, I'm crying at a stupid twilight zone episode. The low has started. I only hope that I don't have the same depths of lows as June. I ended up with my adrenals shutting. Ending up in the ER because it scared my son and he called 911.

Hello my sweet Tribe! Well, I'm on another cortisol high, so I gained back the 15 pounds I lost in two weeks. Yay me! Again, if you are doing everything you can, working your band and your food and your body, and you are still not losing, then it is time to demand answers. Demand, demand, demand. Do not give up. It might be that you have changed your body composition, and you have less to lose. I know that people have said that the closer you are to your actual goal, the slower you lose. And by actual, I mean, what is best for you based on your actual body fat composition, not some arbitrary number on a chart. I think it is so important that if and when we work as hard as possible, and we are still not seeing results, then it is time to demand answers. If one doctor says it's nothing, find someone else. I know that if I had given up after the first doctor I would be still beating myself up, I would still be making myself crazy wondering why I couldn't lose weight no matter how hard I work, no matter how restricted I was, no matter what crazy food combination I tried. Oh, and please don't try to force it, I know someone said that they were going to ask their doc to synch the band as tight as it could go so they would lose weight. ** Bad idea!** Being too tight is miserable with a capital miserable. It's also thought that being too tight can contribute to band slippage or eroding the band *yikes*

Well, I don't know if I have answers yet, or simply new questions. I'm happy either way. Next week I start thyroid medications as soon as we get my thyroid levels back so we know what sort of dose to put me on. I didn't see my regular doc, since she wasn't in the office, but the new one didn't even bat an eye. Even if my thyroid levels come back at the high end of normal, he's still going to put me on the meds. He said he didn't mind putting me into a state of hyperthyoidism for a short period, as long as it wasn't years long. Wow! So, if I don't start dropping weight while taking the thyroid meds, they are going to try other things, like cortisol stuff. (I haven't researched this yet) So, my question to my fellow Turtles is this: have you had your thyroid levels checked, or have you tried something besides diet and excersize? (Diet meaning food intake in general, not a specific diet mentality) I know that Kathy has resorted to the occasional diet pill, but what are some other stratagies Turtles are trying? I know that I was making myself insane trying to figure out why I wasn't having success with cutting my calories and bumping up the activities. I just want to see if we can come up with a plan for Turtles.

A few weeks ago I got an e-mail from someone who's been courting me for a job. The e-mail wasn't good, there was a re-org and the postition was elimitated. To put it mildly, I was devistated. Devistated not only for not getting the job, but it ws a much deeper emotion than was warrented over not getting a job. I'd been putting a lot of energy into this job hunt. And i realized that what I was doing was trying to run away from the Cushing's. I was trying to do what I do so often, distract... If I could distract myself with this job, and all the responsibilities that would come with it, then maybe I could convince myself that this wasn't really going on. That I'm fat because... because I eat too much. Yeah, that's it, I eat way too much, so of course I am fat. I mean, I fill my plate when I eat, and sometimes I even go back for seconds. Never mind that my dinner plates are saucers instead of plates. A bread and butter plate is filled to the brim with dinner is a large meal. Yup, I eat way too much off those plates. I use regular dinner plates for Charger plates, and well, a real Charger is a wonder in it's hugeness. I have road rage because ... the drivers here are so stupid. It's all their fault. there is no room for error, you didn't plan to merge a mile ago, so it's all your fault I'm screaming at you. Honking my horn at you because you are too stupid to be on the roads. Don't even thing you are going to merge in front of me, and there is no way in hell I'm going to let you pull out of the parking lot. Wait your turn. Oh sure, if I got more than 4 hours of sleep at night, maybe I wouldn't be so furious over everything. Sure, that's it. It's because I can't sleep. except for when I can't wake up. Or I'm too tired to do anything. And then, of couse, ti doesn't matter how badly you drive, because I don't care. Sure, cut me off, I know you didn't mean to, sometimes you can't help it. Here, I know that spot is tough to get out of, let me wave you ahead of me. That's okay, you go first, you are probably having a tough day. I thought if I got that job, I could tell myself that it was manageable. That the tumor wasn't that big of a deal. Oh, wait. Tumor. I forgot. Okay, okay, I didn't really forget. I just wanted to forget. And isn't that the same thing? Isn't it just as good? No? Damn. So, not getting that job really made me step back and take a hard look at my life. No more trying to dstract myself. No more, if I ignore it, it has to go away. I mean, I've always gotten better, I always feel better, I always get in a better mood. Right? Don't I? Well yes, sort of. Except now the cycles are getting shorter and shorter. It used to be that I would go a long time until I finally snapped. Until I started screaming at random people, or worse yet, the people I love. What used to take months to cycle is now taking weeks. I am afraid that it will get to the point where I cycle hard within a week. Wheee! Won't that be fun?

"We are Family" (I think the Pointer Sisters?) for the family dance, gets everybody up, the joining of both families!

I think the most important thing is to make sure you get a bike you can physically handle. You will have to be able to pick it up off the ground at some point or another. Since you are getting a starter bike, I wouldn't get something really big to start out with. Have fun! Oh! and ALWAYS WEAR YOUR PROTECTIVE GEAR!

I for one will miss you Kelly, but i know I'm not alone. Congrats on moving on! We love you! Welcome aboard Wheetsin!