MichiganChic

I think only you can decide for yourself, and from your words, it sounds to me like you are done. You are beautiful and smart, and I think you are strong, too. We each know our tolerance level for crap others put on us, and it's up to us to set those limits. Since his cheating happened once before in your marriage, I think it's safe to assume that since it happened a second time, it could also happen again. It's up to you to decide if that's the life you want for yourself, and you said you are tired of this life. You are powerful - so use your power wisely. You said you are prepping yourself mentally and financially, so that's a very wise move on your part. Getting your weight under control was the first step to taking charge of your life, and in many ways, it may have been the most difficult, so I believe you are well poised for a successful and happy future.

I'm fairly small on top, too. I wear a medium, or a 10. I'm in a 14 on the bottom.....but I know it's going to keep coming off proportionately. I also wish it would just come off the bottom!

My advice is make sure you are ready before you make the change. I have never really regretted my decision, but it's a big and permanent life style change, and you have to be prepared for that. There is nothing wrong with delaying. I'm not going to try to explain the value of having surgery - you already know that. Personally, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that I can't eat more than I do, but I know some people don't feel that way. To me, a bad outcome would be to have the surgery, eat around your sleeve, and not lose the weight anyway. Best of luck, no matter what you decide.

Tell her you will be out of town so don't come during that time. I'd give her some acceptable dates to choose from, preferably before surgery. After that, I'd have a whole long list of busy things that will prevent company from coming. She will know something is up if she comes any time in the first month or two after surgery.

I don't know the answer for you for maintenance since I'm not there (and have a long way to go) but I think it's sort of trial and error. I've learned that if I want to lose, I need to eat less than 900 calories. My loss has slowed too, and I think it's because there are days I'm higher and because I have less to lose. You could use one of the TDEE calculators for guidance, but I suspect that you would be able to eat somewhere around 1500 calories a day (on average) to maintain, but you will learn what your number is. I think for me, I will probably need to stay at 1200-1300 to maintain since I've been blessed with a very slow metabolism. I have a question for you - Do you think you need to lose that last 7 pounds? I also want a normal BMI, but I'm starting to wonder if that should really be my ultimate goal. I'm also wondering if I'll ever get there, and I don't want to think of this as a failure if I don't. Anyway, congrats on your FABULOUS success!

I can't imagine not writing it down. I did it with weight watchers in the past, and would lose some weight, but every time I stopped writing, I started gaining. I know that I will need to do this forever - or I will gain weight. I'm one of those people who can't lose if I eat more than 900 calories. I attribute my success this far to writing down every bite I put in my mouth. Some days it's hard to do - you want to think that one little caramel won't hurt, or that coffee creamer is nothing - but the fact is that everything has calories, and they add up. That's just me, though. My mother, who did NOT have WLS, counts every calorie in her head, and never writes anything down. She has kept her weight off for 30 years. It just depends on what works for you.

You can add me, too. I'm tboosrn

I had labs at about 3 months, 6 months, and will again at 12 months. Some of my stuff was off on the early ones, so I also had a couple of repeats in there at some point.

Beautiful, and beautiful family. Congrats to you all! I also love that feeling, just had my youngest daughter's senior pictures taken, and I also had family pictures taken - what a difference from 18 months ago from my oldest daughter's wedding! Wish I could go back and edit them

My doctor didn't cut my vagus nerve. Yours must have?

Looks great. I'm 10 months out, and I think it's growing back! Seems to be the same as before, but finer because it's new hair.

I'm ten months out, and some days I'm a little more hungry than others, some days I seem to fill up faster, and other times I do feel hunger. I think that started around 3 months, but there is NO comparison to the way I felt before surgery. I also fill up so much faster. I'm not aware of a "hunger nerve" but hormones that are in our stomachs. There are other hunger hormones, and I've heard they do ramp up over time for some people. I think that most of us do get hungry to varying degrees, but there is no way to know what our individual outcomes will be. I think most agree it's quite manageable, as long we learn to control head hunger and our habits.

It is hard not to overanalyze and worry that "this won't work either". However, I'm sure if you think about it logically, common sense will prevail and you will realize that there is no way you will gain weight eating 800 calories a day. That's what I tell myself when it happens to me Like this morning, when I gained 2 pounds after a week of 800 calories a day, and one day of 1700 calories (had 2 parties yesterday). There is no way an extra 900 calories resulted in a 2 pound gain - that would have required 7000 extra calories, and it would have take a few days to show up. It's water. I am starting realize that one day of "overeating" won't ruin anything. It's life, and it's what I do for the long haul that makes the difference. I think you'll find that too! You'll do great.

I realized this morning that I weigh less than my husband for the first time in 27 years. He's 6'2" and I'm 5'4"! It feels really good, too

I had it good where I was, too, in many ways. I had so much opportunity there, and never actually stayed in the same job more than about 3 years. But there were also signs that it was just time to move on. I have to admit, though, I'd have a hard time leaving a job where I loved my boss and team. If you are happy, there might not be anything wrong with being a lifer. That's a hard combo to come by. However, the choice is yours, and what a wonderful luxury that is when we don't have things like weight holding us back

I so get where you are coming from. I'm not at goal yet, but I understand about the restlessness. I was generally a happy person, but some things made me miserable - namely, my weight and job. So, last year I decided to have the surgery and get my life in order. At my previous weight, I felt like it decreased my marketability. I made 2013 the year of me, and so far, it's been working for me. My kids are young adult/late teen, so I could finally focus on me. As I got my weight under control, my confidence grew, and I actually responded to a head hunter on LinkedIn, which resulted in landing a dream job. I hadn't expected that (worked at the last place 32 years!). So the two things that were making me miserable have been identified and dealt with. I was going to make 2014 another year of me, but I like your idea of making it the year of stability. I hope to have some reconstructive surgery, too, but other than that, I think a year of status quo will do me good. Incidentally, I'm 51, so I do think a lot of it was age related for me, too.

I am not concerned that I won't quit losing weight. I have had to fight for every pound lost, and I know that I'm one of those people who could start gaining it all back today if I don't watch it. My loss was pretty rapid at first, but after month 6 it really slowed to 6-7 pounds a month. I still have 40 pounds to go, so that could take another 6-12 months. We are all different, but unless you have some evidence that you lose weight in spite of a high calorie intake, or that you are unable to take in enough calories, I doubt it will be an issue for you. Even people who have a lot of restriction can pack in a few extra calories in a small volume. Think full fat ice cream and things like that.

Agreed. I even have stopped buying treats for the others in the house. Turns out they didn't need it either.

Wow, very interesting. Just wondering what your qualifications are for being a health advisor?

I wouldn't worry too much, as long as you are following your plan. As lipstick lady said, it's normal fluctuation. I am a daily weigher, and I'll never quit I also log and chart it daily, too. However, I also monitor it on a weekly basis. So while there are times it feels like nothing is coming off because I am on the scale once daily, week to week there is almost always a loss. For instance, I lost NOTHING for the past 12 days! But, when I look at it week to week, I have a fairly steady loss of 1-2 pounds. I've done this since surgery, and I've had a total of 5 weeks out of 44 that I either stayed the same or had a small gain. Those are pretty good (and I think normal) statistics.

I wouldn't worry too much, as long as you are following your plan. As lipstick lady said, it's normal fluctuation. I am a daily weigher, and I'll never quit I also log and chart it daily, too. However, I also monitor it on a weekly basis. So while there are times it feels like nothing is coming off because I am on the scale once daily, week to week there is almost always a loss. For instance, I lost NOTHING for the past 12 days! But, when I look at it week to week, I have a fairly steady loss of 1-2 pounds. I've done this since surgery, and I've had a total of 5 weeks out of 44 that I either stayed the same or had a small gain. Those are pretty good (and I think normal) statistics.

Try not to get too wound up about it - it doesn't help I do understand though. In the past 10 months, I've learned that my body can only lose so fast, and it's not like anyone else's, so there is no predicting what will happen. I just went through 14 day stretch of no loss...and even though I've lost a lot, I have a long way to go. I still fear every pound lost will be my last. Some months are better than others, but one thing is for certain - stick with it, give it some time, and you will see that the weight does come off.

Try not to get too wound up about it - it doesn't help I do understand though. In the past 10 months, I've learned that my body can only lose so fast, and it's not like anyone else's, so there is no predicting what will happen. I just went through 14 day stretch of no loss...and even though I've lost a lot, I have a long way to go. I still fear every pound lost will be my last. Some months are better than others, but one thing is for certain - stick with it, give it some time, and you will see that the weight does come off.

I'm currently working on my third new wardrobe. I went through all the sizes in my closet, bought a new (limited) wardrobe, and now am forced to buy another - but still have a long way to go, so I know this is going to happen at least another time or two. I keep thinking I've had worse problems, lol. Anyway, as I was searching for just a pair of pants that fit well and were inexpensive, I had a strange experience. I know I wear a regular size now (14-16), but I don't know where to find them in the stores! I am so used to going to Lane Bryant or Catherines, or the Womens section of department stores, that I don't have a go-to store or spot in department stores. I'm used to having a somewhat limited selection, and always having to pay more. I feel a little overwhelmed with all the glorious choices!! I found myself wandering around Dillards, not even understanding the layout of the store (even though I've shopped there for 20 years) or where to find age appropriate work clothes.....and somehow found myself in the women's section! I was always grateful that they had a great womens section, and I could almost always find things there to fit (always the biggest size they carried), and yesterday it was all too big. I was happy and sad at the same time, and felt a little absurd for even thinking like that for one minute. This is a gift. Again, I've had worse problems. I have a long way to goal, so I'm certain I'll learn as I go. I still want to shop at places like White House Black Market, but I think I must be too fat to shop there. I'm afraid to even try. I don't want to go in there only to have someone look down their nose at me because they know I am not in the "club" of thin people who can wear their exclusive clothing. (they have not done this to me, but I've experienced it at other places) I braved a trip into Victoria Secret a couple of weeks ago, and was shocked that: a) I was treated like I belonged there, and I actually left with something!! In the past, I would go there to buy something for my daughter, and unless she was with me, no one tried to help me usually. I'm not sure how much of that was me trying to avoid them because I felt funny being there! As I wrote this super long post, it occurred to me that shopping can be an emotionally charged experience for overweight people, more so than I ever realized. Tell me your shopping experiences! Where do you love to shop now, and how did you make this transition?

Congratulations on being smaller. I know what you mean about being attached to the clothes. I did get rid of everything, and I was happy to do it because it represents the change in my life, but they were very nice and expensive. I didn't mourn the loss of them though, I wasn't that attached to my fat self I haven't tried Nordstrom rack, but I will, so thanks for the tip! I am also happy to report that I now own something from White House Black Market! So, while I'm far from thin, I can shop anywhere now, and I find it strange that sales people are so helpful. My kids have even noticed it. It sort of makes me mad to be treated better because I'm thinner - I don't think I realized how bad it was when I was heavier, because I refused to let my weight be a barrier to my success and happiness. I now realize that it was anyway.