ThikNjuCee

Today I went to the doctors... & he told me I am now on my soft food diet & I only have to be on it for a week! YAYYYYY! so happy!!!

So, I’ve read various posts about regretting the journey that sleevary (yes I’ve created a word) brings. However, do some of you fully regret being sleeved or are you impartial to it?
 
For instance, my journey to sleevary was quick fast and in a hurry. I never considered having WLS. In fact, I was one of “those” individuals whom laughed at the very idea of WLS and even said “I’d never do that”. Until June 2011 hit and I was diagnosed with Diabetes. That is when I said I HAVE to take control of my health and weight and must be proactive about it. And proactive I was. I was dieting, exercising and losing weight. Until, my cousin told me about a WLS forum. I attended not thinking anything of it. And the surgeon announced the fact that WLS reversed diabetes. Instantly, I said “sign me up”. I did not hesitate nor did I think about it. My insurance had a short process – 3 months, and since I had a comorbid disease the doctor said I would be approved. I did my research and sure enough it was proven in the research that WLS fully reversed diabetes. So literally, less than three months from my first WLS forum, I was on an operating table getting sleeved. I did minimum research, I knew about the risks, but to me, being diabetes-free far outweighed any leaks or any other complications. July 17, 2012 I’m sleeved. Told no family members, coworkers or anyone and went through the recovery process by myself. Thankful to God, I had no complications (and still do not have any). It’s January 2013 and I’m down 91lbs thanks to my sleeve and exercise (I’ve been a gym rat). 91lbs Horray!! One would be ecstatic right!? I look good (like a new person), I feel good, and best of all I’m diabetes FREE. After all, that was my goal for sleevary… Right!? Absolutely. One would think I’d be living the high life, I’m no longer classified a “big girl” I don’t have to shop at Ashley Stewart or in the plus size section(s). I should be happy. Shouldn’t I!? Well, I’m not.
 
And here’s why… I can barely eat. I throw up sometimes but it’s very minimal. I feel most foods going down my esophagus, and although it doesn’t hurt it is uncomfortable. I can’t enjoy basic foods anymore…! Am I miserable? Am I unhappy? Absolutely not. I was never a food junky. However, do I believe I should have and could have lost this 91lbs without being sleeved? Certainly!! So why did I do this to myself!? Why did I take away 85% of my stomach? And now I can’t even enjoy the simple things in life... I can’t go out to eat with friends or on a date to a restaurant with a cute guy or participate in work functions that involve food because it’s embarrassing to be full off of three bites and have everyone sit and stare and wonder what’s wrong with her!? There’s just so many “normal” things that you just cannot be a part of post sleevary -- like enjoying a full slice of pizza, or popcorn at the movie theater (granted NOW I can eat popcorn but a month ago forget about it, pizza not so much) or how about a bagel with cream cheese or a full sandwich (and I’m not talking about a gigantic 12in sub just a measly homemade sandwich with two slices of bread), or how about indulging in thanksgiving dinner or eating a snickers candy bar without feeling stuffed or eating more than 1 egg or to have to chew EVERYTHING to a paste-like consistency before you swallow. The list goes on…
 
Two of my friends know about my sleeve, and one is overweight. She is so excited to be sleeved and I told her if you do not have any medical problems it is not worth everything that you are giving up. Sure, you are skinny but is it worth the basic joys of life!? To some it is. To others it is not. To me, a person formerly (I love that word) living with a horrid debilitating disease YES it’s worth it!
 
With that being said, I DO NOT regret my sleeve. And I thank God that I have not and prayerfully will not in the future have any complications. I just caution those whom are out there to try to lose weight naturally (unless you have severe health problems) and truly think about whether the sleeve is worth you losing your basic liberties (whatever they maybe)…!
 
But, I can and will say. I love my sleeve. I love my surgeon and I love God for allowing me to become insulin and finger prinking free! However, I do wish that I would have taken control of my health BEFORE I became diagnosed with diabetes. Had I had any inkling that I was even close to that diagnosis of that dreadful disease (and I don’t care what people say, IN MY OPINION, that disease is like being diagnosed with HIV it is just awful – don’t even get me started on how life altering living as a diabetic is and how depressed I was… Ugh!) I would have ran to the nearest gym and stopped all the ice cream and soda (because that’s all I used to eat) cold turkey!!
 
All I am saying is… Think about it! Truly, sit down and think about whether being sleeved is right for YOU!
 
If it is, WELCOME TO THE LOSERS BENCH!!!
 
If it isn’t, WELCOME TO THE LOSERS BENCH ALSO!!! You can do whatever you put your mind too! Persevere and rise to the challenge.
 
God Bless you all~!!!! I love my VST-Family.
 
SmoochieS~!
TinaMari – Sleeved & Loving It July 17, 2012 – Washington Hospital Center.

I am officially sleeved guys!!!
 
Kinda sore... But VERY happy!!
 
Been walking around the hospital & being drugged up lol
 
I would like to thank Everyone for their suppor!!!

I am getting sleeves todayyyyyyyy!!!!!
 
Excited & Nervous at the same time!!! =O

This has been one hell of a ride. I've been both excited and depressed just the same. I am here to tell you weeks 2 and 3 are literally the hardest. At this point your tired of liquids, see a few stalls, and have all these thoughts that maybe, just maybe, this surgery isn't gonna work for you. And I'm telling you, I have felt all these things. On the plus side I did weigh in this morning and hit my one month post op goal 10days early!!! Yay for me!... Here are my stats:
 
Starting weight: 256lbs
Day of Surgery: 247lbs
Day I left from Hospital: 258lbs
3 weeks post op: 230.2lbs
 

I honestly didn't plan on seeing that weight until one month post op.. But 26 pounds down in the first 3 weeks with a stall in between.. I won't complain. Hope everyone is doing well as they recover, and for those considering the surgery: do your research! Know what to expect, and come to a point in your journey where you are ready for the rollercoaster because it is one hell of a ride!!!!!
 
 
Tia

1. Get below 300 lbs COMPLETED!!
2. Get to size 20 COMPLETED!!
3. WorkOut faithfully COMPLETED!!
4. Celebrate Myself COMPLETING!!!
5. Get in to size 18 pants COMPLETED!!!
6. Weigh below 260 lbs COMPLETED!!!
7. Get in to size 16 (Havent been a 16 EVER)
8. Get in to size 14 (Holy Moly)
9. Begin a spinning class
10. Enjoy Running!

am so excited.
So the lbs are coming off slowly, but DEEZ INCHES MAYNE!
I am wearing a top from DOTS that I bought and thought I could wear and HAHAHAHHA! NO. My boobs and gut said NO MA'AM! Today? it's on. it's buttoned. IT'S CUTE!
Also, the coat that I talked about in my week two update video that would not button? BUTTONED TODAY.
 
Can't tell me nothin' today!

Excited but a little exhausted at the same time!!! Had surgery on December 20th and the first week was smooth sailing. Wasnt until about 12 days post op did I realize I had not had a bowel movement. I was in an all out panic and my surgeon was too. He ended up having me take some Miralax and Colace and this morning had my firt BM since surgery.. Glad that's over with! Stepped on the scale last night and was 235.6lbs!! Not much of a loss like in the first week, but I'll take every single pound.
 
Starting Weight: 256
Day of Surgery: 247
Day Left Surgery: 258
1 Week Post Op: 241
2 Weeks Post Op: 235
total loss thus far: 21 pounds
 
Not bad. Won't complain. But I think in this week I will begin taking my vitamins (and boy there are a lot!) and doing some cardio at the gym. So blessed to have gone through this process with little to no complications and even more blessed that I am on my way to a healthy new me! Happy losing all!

Well, it's the end of another year and to be honest, I still have to remind myself to write 2012 on my checks (when I actually have to use one). Therefore, writing 2013 is going to be a huge pain in the rear for me. Now, I am not one to make resolutions. To be honest, i don't think I've ever kept one I've made so I finally realized that there was no reason to make any. If someone wants to change, they will...it won't just magically happen becasue it's January 1st. Trust me, I wish that was a case. If it was, we wouldn't all be constantly working to get/remain healthy and thin. Also, there would be a lot of surgeons out there who wouldn't be as wealthy as they are right now...thanks to us. You are welcome surgeons...from all of us. Sorry, i digress. Now, I thought I wold take the time to look back on my year and share my wisdom with you all....or at least what I think is wisdom. It could be a big ole pile of steaming crap, but I'm going to share it anyway. Lucky for you all, if it is crap, you don't have to smell it since you're reading it. So, here is what I've learned...or at least began to learn in 2012.
 
1. It's true, you do feel much better when you stop smoking. But, it's also true that even after a year, there are times you still want one....even if it's only for a second or two
 
2. Weight loss surgery is NOT an easy fix. It's hard work and I battle every day with changing my negative food thoughts and behaviors. But, it does get easier.
 
3. Getting frustrated becasue you can't eat what others are having is normal. Crying and yelling at your husband for eating pizza in front of you is PMS.
 
4. Fiber is CRITICAL after WLS
 
5. Stalls are normal...even if they last for a while
 
6. Getting down for being in a stall is just as normal....but remember number 5!
 
7. My weight loss is not like anyone else's. There are people who have lost more or not as much in the same amount of time.
 
8. Going from a tight size 26-28 to a good fitting 16 feels better than any food can taste
 
9. Taste buds change....which can be good and bad.
 
10. Pulling out my clothes from the dryer and having to double check to make sure they are mine due to how small they look is the coolest thing about doing laundry
 
11. Sex is better....and it was really good before hand
 
12. Raging hormones can make you a b***h to live with so make sure you live with someone who truly loves you.....I'm lucky because I would have divorced me if I were my husband
 
13. Make up sex while having raging hormones is even better than better
 
14. My boobs hang low....(cue my "hang low song"....for all those who have read my prior blogs)
 
15. I miss my boobs...and my butt.
 
16. Surgery can give me my boobs back and I'll still be thin....sounds better than having perky, big boobs right now.
 
17. Onions don't sit well with me anymore
 
18. I fart....a lot since surgery.
 
19. I really hope that stops soon....but not as much as my husband does
 
20. I have a rabbit living in my colon....and we've learned to live together
 
21. Pain after surgery isn't as bad as I thought it would be...and they didn't give me the right meds to deal with the pain
 
22. Walking is the best thing to do to get gas out
 
23. I am not perfect and sometimes I eat things that I shouldn't...but I don't eat much
 
24. Alcohol has a WHOLE different affect on me now.....that can be good or bad...good for me, bad for hubby who doesn't like me tipsy. LOL
 
and last but not least
 
25. Laughing through all the ups and downs is the only thing that can keep you sane
 
So, with all these little tid bits learned, I plan to go into the new year with an open mind and a willingness to continue to make positive changes, the knowledge to know I'm not perfect, and strength to say no to the bad food (most of the time). I hope you all are able to do the same.
 
Happy New Year everyone.....here's to a safe, happy, and healthy year ahead.
 
 
Now for some funny stuff.....LOL
 
Have to remember to eat so that I don't look like this in the New Year!!!
 

 
 
Have to remember not to eat too much so this doesn't happen....again....LOL
 

 
 
Most importantly, I have to remember to be happy with who I am...on the inside and out.
 

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

With less than 24 hours away from the big surgery, I find myself enthralled in all sorts of emotions. One moment I'm excited. The next I'm a little worried. The next I'm axious to get this over with.. And the next I'm flat out afraid. I've been up since 3am this morning. I just can't sleep.My mind is moving just too fast. I've been going back and forth to some major events in my life and trying to figure out what led me here.. Then 2 events pop in mind..
 
One when I was about 19 and was having an argument with one of my ex boyfriend's friends. He made a pass at me and I told my boyfriend at the time who addressed him about it. He was so upset with me he yelled "that's why your're a cheeseburger away from obese". I was soooo offended, like could he really have said that to me.. But then again, he was right. I had no come back.
 
Then lastly I remember having an argument with an ex friend of mine at about 21 and boy was it a bad one. Not wanting to be defeated like I had in the previous argument, I was guns loaded. In a tit for tat I blurted out "that's why your ugly and you look like a gorilla". Not one of my proudest moments I'll admit. Very childish.. She responds "that's why your fat". Ouch! Another dagger to the heart about my weight. I replied "well I can fix my problem. But you sure can't fix ugly. All the surgery in the world won't help that face!"... Feeling like I had won that argument, my ego said otherwise and I was deeply saddened.
 
What these two events made me realize is that the person I saw, was what the rest of the world was beginning to see. Someone who was moving fast towards a serious weight problem. My grandmother passed away on December 26, 2003 in her sleep for no apparent reason. She cooked Christmas dinner, played games with us all.. then never woke back up. The doctor's ruled it as congestive heart failure because it was the last pre-existing condition she had. But what I failed to mention was that she was just over 500 pounds and battled with sleep apnea. She use to snore really bad. When I would spend the night with her, the only way I knew she was breathing was when I heard that snoring.. But sometimes there would be long pauses in those snores and she'd begin gasping for breath. The morning of her death I arose to greet her good morning and while combing my hair in her vanity right next to her bed... I noticed, she hadn't been snoring. Then I looked at her arm and it was just hanging off the bed. I knew she had stopped breathing. I honestly believe she suffocated in her sleep and had she been 200-300 pounds lighter, I'd still have her to this very day. She died at only 52.
 
Obesity is a genetic disadvantage in my family and I finally have an opportunity to overcome that. To live life the way it's supposed to be lived. This is something I can't pass on doing. I've prayed to God without ceasing about what I can do to get this weight off and in I stumble across a procedure I didn't even know existed. Literally walked in the clinic to inquire about a lap band and will be walking out tomorrow with a sleeve. God carved a perfectly laid path for me tomorrow. I had no hickups along the way, and have paid nothing out of pocket. Because I have really good health insurance, whatever they cover is all my surgeon says he will be receiving. It can't get any better than that. Aside for paying co pay on my perscriptions, I consider this a free procedure to help me get my life back. This is a gift from God! I am a living witness that if you remain in him and his words remain in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given unto you (John 15:7). I didn't know how he was gonna do it I just had faith and he did it! I cry as I write this moment because I will never see life through the same set of eyes again. My limits to a happy fulfilled life have just become endless. These are my tears... OF JOY!

almost four months out from my sleeve. started at a size 20/22. went shopping this last weekend, as my pants were literally falling off. took a size 14 into the dressing room "just to see".
 
when they fit, i looked at myself in the mirror and said, "shut the front door". someone in the dressing room next to me laughed. i know size is not everything but for some reason being able to wear a size 14 jean is AMAZING!!!!! have not been this size in over twelve years.
 
my knees/ankles no longer hurt. i am able to give my children tight squeezes. i caught my husband looking at me the other day. literally, staring at me with that look in his eyes.
 
for those on the fence regarding this surgery, you need to have this surgery. yes, there are times when it blows, BUT the times when it rocks greatly outweigh the negatives.
 
thanks to everyone who post questions/comments on this website. to know there are others out there experiencing the same feelings/emotions is such a great comfort.
 
happy holidays!