peaches

I am not exactly sure what is meant by "viable human beings" (although I've read this entire thread.) It won't be all that long, historically speaking, until humans will not need women's wombs--at all--to grow a baby from an embryo to a fetus to a new"born". I don't think it is wise to base the definition of viable human being purely on scientific grounds for science and technology and capitalism have become increasingly entertwined. Also, science is not neutral, ethically speaking, for it has always been culturally bound. Since we can now keep some bodies "alive" indefinately (for decades beyond the point of brain "death"), the whole person who was once the spark behind the eyes may no longer exist, to you and me. But that person may yet exist in the eyes of beloved family members. An absolutist definition fails the beloved ones who still "know" that body as the person. How does one separate the knower from the known? Similarly, the fetus is not a person unless the woman, of which it is an inseparable part, KNOWS it as a person. This is admittedly a cultural definition (a social construct), but that is all any of us has to offer. It is not something that can be resolved by debate or by consensus. The relationship between a woman and a fetus growing within her is a deeply private one. The woman is the both the knower and the known. Because she is both the knower and the known, the experiences of pregnancy and abortion and birth are deeply personal. No one else, NO ONE, knows what the woman knows. Her knowledge is her own. Her knowledge is her power. No person other than the woman (knower/known) has the knowledge to make choices on behalf of the knower/known--unless she chooses to share that power with another.

What do you feel "sorry" about? I am not advancing a formal argument in a thread on a message board for people who need help to avoid overeating. I am simply confessing my feelings. I cannot cry or feel sad for the aborted fetuses and/or babies. Yet I grieve and shed tears for the millions of people I mentioned (who you call “some children”), who suffer horribly each day—who slowly starve to death, who must sell their own bodies or the bodies of their children, who perish from diseases that my own family members have been easily and successfully treated for, who pick through trash piles for the promise of maggots to gulp down, and who do whatever else they have to do to try to stay alive...to no avail. These are the human beings whose suffering I would prefer to deny, but cannot. These are the lives that haunt my nightmares and my thoughts. Perhaps there is something terribly wrong with me. love, peaches

Every 7 seconds a child dies of starvation. They do not get enough food to eat, and so, in the time it takes to write this post, over 50,000 young human beings will take their final breaths. Bellies empty. Thousands more children will die from dehydration in the next few minutes; thousands will expire from diseases. These are merely the children. They die needlessly, even as countless others—young, old, and in between—endure similar fates. Suffering is a way of life for more than a billion human beings on Earth. One out of five people has no possessions and struggles to survive on less than $1 a day. Not one of us—not one in over 6.5 billion—gets to choose who will win this invisible global lottery. No one gets to decide who among us will be recognized as persons or who will become our, de facto, expendable commodities. Each year the world’s population increases by at least 80 million. We humans have not succeeded at rescuing even a few million of the desperate, billion-plus people among us who already struggle every day--morning to night--for mere survival. I have no tears to shed for the malformed babies whose little skulls are pierced and whose brains are swiftly sucked out of them, and who die within seconds as they leave their mother’s bodies. I cry for those already living, conscious beings who suffer and suffer and suffer while we sit here at our keyboards yammering away across cyberspace about a few pathetic infants, some of whom, theoretically, could be kept “alive” at the cost of millions per infant while, in reality, hundreds of thousands of people—no less valuable than you or me—are dying slow, terrible, agonizing deaths every day from starvation, dehydration, and diseases that are curable or treatable. In the meantime, look at the lengths we go, and the money we spend, to keep the extra food out of our stomachs. Gee, if we wait a couple decades, lap bands won't be necessary. Global climate changes, mass migrations, and steadily increasing populations will make forced starvation the new solution for obesity--for all but the super rich. If we're really lucky, a worldwide plague will get most of us first. Smiles, peaches

Thanks for your encouragement Sher! I actually contacted a doctor, and I also plan to go to a LB support group (in a nearby town) tonight. Big steps for me. peaches

Michelle, Your response is generous, helpful, and so rational. Thank you! You make many excellent points, such as needing to do the same things to lose weight, taking a team approach, and remembering that the band is there to provide help. The band is certainly a tool that was never part of my past efforts, and it could be the thing that makes the difference for me. I hope I will muster up the courage to try again. You sound extremely smart and highly prepared for the changes (and challenges) you are making. All my best wishes to you for great success! peaches

This thread is stunning. There is so much wisdom, intelligence, and knowledge here about a very complex problem. I am grateful to have stumbled onto this amazing source of information. I see myself here. Started dieting before I was ever actually overweight. Post traumatic stress from childhood onward. Depression, anxiety. Shame. Feeling powerless and immobilized. Lost massive amounts of weight at different times and I always believed I would keep it off. Each time, I then faced that gawd awful realization that the weight was creeping back on...and I couldn't stop the momentum, like watching a boulder rolling down a hill, just trying to stay out of its way. Years of therapy. Prescription head meds. For the past few years I've tried to simply accept myself as a fat woman, but the obesity is sabotaging my existence, and blaming myself only makes it all feel worse. Still, I would rather stay this way than get banded, lose weight, and then regain. I have no confidence that would not happen to me as it has to others. peaches

Whoops. Duh. I see the Dr.s name right there! :embarassed:

Thanks! I hope all is going well for you Deanna. $12K doesn't sound too bad. Do you mind saying your surgeon's name? There's a Dr. Korn in Boise who is advertising but his ads look quite slanted in favor of bypass, so I'm a bit wary about going to his seminar. Really don't want to hear any baloney. Take care!

Have not been banded. I'm so new at this, being "banded" still makes me think of the teeny tiny metal bands they put on the skinny ankles of birds. But I'm not skinny. Far from it. I think my BMI is about 40. I'm reaching middle age and starting to worry about my health, plus it is getting harder to move around, especially at work where I need to be active and strong. No insurance coverage, so it would have to be self paid, in the vicinity of Boise, Idaho. Any suggestions on doctors in this area/prices? Thanks! peaches