kimalicious

I am doing a poll because I am trying to find a marriage that has not had some sort of cheating involved either from one spouse or another. I need your feedback guys. From the smallest indiscretion to the horrible, please tell me there is a relationship out there that had neither party cheating!! PLEASE!! Only sane people please reply.

Aldies with the pain on the lower left side, is this where your port is also?? I have pain below my prt when I drink cokes. Like I have air stuck in there and I have pain and pressure. Sadly enough I keep drinking the cokes on occasion. The pain can be minor blaoting discomfort to full on pain that only gets a little better if I lay on my side. Could it be bloating you are suffering from that is pulling the port and port sutures??

Signs and symptoms result from a functional obstruction of the esophagus: Dysphagia, or difficulty swallowing Regurgitation of undigested food Heartburn Difficulty belching Frequent hiccups Non-cardiac chest pains (NCCP) or spasms, which sometimes increase after eating and may radiate to the back, jaw, neck, and arms Weight loss Coughing, especially at night or when lying down These are signs and symptoms of what they say you have. Is this not what most of us have due to just having the strictness of the lapband? How could the lapband not have something to do with this? I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please keep us up on what is going on. Thanks for your post, I had never heard of this, but have these symptoms on occasion all at once.

Lila, I am so sorry you had to go through that and I don't know what I would would do if I just flat out knew something like that. You will be strong when you decide to be strong and that is that! Susan, your story gives us all hope that regardless of what happens in a relationship there is always something on the other side of it, but it also scares me into the thought that maybe my life won't always be like this and there are many changes ahead for me. I'm not good with changes so that scares me.

Hi everyone, I was hoping to see if anyone had any ideas for me. I had my lap band done 2 years ago exactly. I am down over 70 pounds but still have about 70 more to go. I am very happy I had the lap band surgery and I will jump back on the exercise wagon soon to kick start weight loss all over again. I had another surgery at the end of August this year because I had a tumor on my left ovary the size of a grapefruit. So, if you are following, I am down 1 ovary and up 1 band. Before my ovary surgery I have been on birth control for over 5 years. I got off the birth control before my ovarian surgery since it scared me to death that I might not be able to get pregnant. I wanted to initially wait to get pregnant so I could lose more weight first. I didn't want to be fat AND pregnant, but there is something about the idea of only 1 ovary left that kicked the baby wanting into high gear. So I had 2 normal periods after my surgery, some spotting and now 2 weeks late am having my next period. I know that the more weight I lose the more likely my chances are of getting pregnant. I was wondering if anyone has had any luck getting pregnant overweight and with one ovary and how long it took?? I haven't found much online about this so any info would be helpful!! Thanks!

Congratulations Hon!! My surgeon told me that the Lap Band was originally called the "Fertility Band" and for that reason to get on the birth control before you start losing the weight. Since weight loss not only makes your body healthier it makes your sex life healthier!! Good luck on your first child, this must be such a joy for you!

It's been a while since I posted but I wanted to drop by to say HI to everyone. I am coming up on my 2 year Bandiversary in November and was wondering what I have lost this year. I have lost some since last year but my biggest accomplishment is NOT GAINING! Since my last post which was before the summer I am 2 pounds smaller and have not even been trying. I figure when I feel like trying to start again I will and since I have my band I will not gain all of my weight back in the meantime. I have lost 71 pounds total and still have another 75 to go, but feel so much better and feel like a different person. I will post pics soon, but I just wanted to tell everyone HI!! I have recently had surgery to remove a tumor on my ovary, which also took my ovary. For some reason after that surgery I have been drinking cokes!! It is so bad I had not had them in months when I started back up to 2 or 3 a day for 2 weeks...well, now I am paying for it. I couldn't keep food down over the weekend and now I have heartburn and possibly gurd?? I haven't really had heartburn since my band surgery and now I am waking up in the middle of the night choking on stuff in the back of my throat and burning throat all day. I have now cut out the cokes AGAIN! and I have been eating that Activia yogurt to soothe my digestive tract. I am hoping by staying on soft foods and drinking lots of Water and yogurt for a few days it will all get back in order. If not, I am going to make an appointment to make sure I didn't slip my band from my lack of willpower with the cokes. Anyone else have this choking in the middle of the night problem and heartburn after they have had none with their band for a while?? Had it slipped?? Thanks for any insight and any hellos I can get!!!

I am having a surgery to have an ovary removed and will not be able to do it laporscopically, so it's apparently a long surgery. I was wondering if anyone else has had to have surgery post band and if it affected your band in any way? Should I have it deflated? Any tips for this??

anybody anybody?

It's definately thoughts that have come into my head, especially when you start getting more attention from other people either because you are lookin good or you feel better about yourself and that is showing through. I would never act, but the thoughts were there.

All very interesting. I find it weird that people get in such a tissy over conversation, but I also find it funny about that people that get in a tissy over people getting in a tissy. If Oprah can talk about it calmy on television we can surely express different opinions on a website calmly. My question to add to the scenario is do you think there are less overweight people cheating due to being overweight and having less advances from potential cheaters? Could this be why our poll stats are so different from the others stated in this posting from a bigger piece of the population?

Ya;ll are so funny! !!!

Are they real doubts or would you rather just no t know the truth so you can keep the life and lifestyle that you have. I am asking for personal understanding, If you don't want to answer I completely understand??

Results will obviously be biased since I am on a lapband website. If I was just taking a poll from msnbc it would not be so biased. There are obviously more women on this site than men and to put it plainly (please don't throw your shoe at me) We are all mostly overweight and dealing with those issues. Overweight people ( I FEEL) have less opportunity to cheat because there is less opportunity for for advances as it is than say your regular fit and hot person. That is from my own experince from skinny and hot to fat and ok. The advances and opportunity are way down therefore the opportunity to actually cheat is way down. I know that most will disagree with this statement but it is just my own living through it to see it. Any thoughts??

To me, and in my own opinion I couldn't even live with the man that cheated on me, I don't care how old the kids are or how long you have been married. 1 year of seperation? That seems lofty. TO be away from each other so long and to think that you could make it back from that. I believe whoever is going to be taking care of the children should have the house, so long as they can afford it on their own. Depending on what state you are in you are entitiled to child support and alimony. The children can't be happy if their parents aren't happy. I don't have children myself but come from a broken home. At least both of your children are old enough to understand what is going on and I can bet you they know a lot more than you have told them. This will probably be one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make and I wish you well in your thoughts and my only logical advise I can give you is to get a lawyer right away! Good luck in your decisions.

Pattman , I am so sorry you are going through this. No amount of money is worth being in a place so unloving. Are ya'll seeking counseling or putting a plan into place to make things better? I would like to know some ideas.

NEVER delete your post! It shows that we all have different views of this world and I love hearing them all! That is why I and hopefully other people start threads to have conversations and hear others ideas and opinions. Please never stop having an opinion and when asked to share please do, there are plenty of people that agree with you. I am not a religious person but I am a moral and downright faithful person, lover and friend so please don't misunderstand my ramblings about the cheating as not agreeing, I am just trying to see all sides!

Lizzie, I do a lot of skip tracing in my line of business and completely understand the checking in with that. I just never thought I had to before. I was always paranoid that he thought I was cheating on him all the while that I was phoning in our realtionship. I have only been married a few years and together for a total of a few more and in short we are both still learning what this marriage thing is all about. You think you have something down and are average and sometimes mundane is alright. But it shouldn't be. I will not however take the blame and he knows and has had many conversations with me prior to and during our marriage that if he finds someone else he wants to be with he needs to leave me first rather than cheat. If there is something we can't work out he needs to leave me first before he goes on to something new. That was always well expressed. As hard as that would be for me to be without him, it would be much worse to be with him while he is thinking of someone else. I could care less about porn. I probably watch it more than he does...shoot I buy it for him for Valentine's Day. That has never been an issue. Thanks for the insight though.

Out of all of the men I have dated in my life either seriously, high school dating or otherwise, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM CHEATED! Now mind you, I went after a certain type of thug or bad boy in my younger days and that is why I married someone who was totally opposite of that TOTALLY! Maybe counseling would help. Maybe even just for myself. I hate feeling this vulnerable at this point. Just so everyone knows, before this weekend I would have answered my poll that neither of us have cheated and I was in the perfect relationship and he has no time to cheat and know how he feels when we talk about other people's relationships and just doesnt understand why they cheat. He is so honest with me about everything and we are truly, madly, deeply in love. That was, of course, prior to the weekend. There were no pre cursors, no small thoughts, no maybes, no idea under the sun. I am not your typical too trusting, pushover woman, that is another reason I can't believe I didn't know and can't believe what I drug out of him was all that there was to it. I guess I will just have to see if he lives up to everything he said after our fight and after our bawling and being holled up inside the house for the entire weekend going over and over everything. Again, he is still swearing there was no actual cheating, just intent, which was hurtful enough to me. This will take some time. I am happy that I can come here with people I have talked to for almost 2 years now, though it's been a while since I posted, and hear feedback and some back and forth action. It is really appreciated.

I know 2 and 4 are basically the same in the poll, I did it really fast, just humor me, thanks!!!

Poodles, you are so right about throwing in a surpise now and again. I didn't get into a routine and a lull and was phoning it in so to say. I just don't understand how that can be an excuse, which was the excuse he gave me, and now I feel like I was in the wrong when it was him that went looking for something else. Now, I feel like I am supposed to be the one that cooks all the time and is ready for action at any moment and if the lull comes back will be scared to death he is out while I am school looking for something else. I just hate that this is not the sane "me", the person thinking these things are the insecure little girl inside that is so in love with the man she married she would rather worry for the next however many years that something is going on when I am at work or school than to be without this man. We bawled together and talked for 2 days straight. I just don't know why he couldn't have done that PRIOR to going out to the bar. That's why I don't think there are actual reasons or excuses for it. I think if the opportunity is there they will go for it. God I hate feeling this way and I especially hate not knowing and wanting to believe the "truths" I had to pull out thru the lies when he was busted.

Funny and Seminole, my husband was raised a devout Christian and mother still works for the church he grew up in. I on the other hand don't have the deep rooted beliefs of religion. I have never cheated on my husband but I can't say the same for him. Religion and duty and love have nothing to do with it. Wheetsin: I had a 3 some with Restoration Hardware and Pottery Barn last week. They are across the street from each other in my area so I carried my Pottery Barn bag into the Restoration Hardware store to shop!! I'm such a high end ho bag!!

I am writing this as I go thru reading so incase others have said this, I don't think we should be the ones to keep our men from cheating on us. I believe we should be great wives and not give them a reason to cheat on us, but men don't need a reason to cheat. I would have never checked up on my husband who I spend every waking moment with and get cals from every day and never have spent a night apart, with the exception of hunting trips with the churchly brother and ladies nights out. I had no inkling into what was going on because I was busy trying to make more money at my job while going to college to better myself for OUR future and potentially future children, while doing our laundry, cooking, dishes, bills and everything else humanly possible. THAT WAS being the good wife, so I thought. I did take for granted that he would always sit at home waiting for me to get home from school or work, but with the last person you would ever expect cheating from it doesn't matter. Let me say there was no actual cheating involved, SO HE SAYS, but there was lying and intent by going out without telling me to a bar without a wedding ring and condoms in the pocket...I don't know what to believe anymore and have lost all faith in the person I thought I knew and was closest to in my entire world. I have lost faith in love and marriage because if someone like him can cheat or even try to, then all other men are definately hopeless...Again since this is the internet this could all be a fabrication or a story of a friend I know.

To me they would both be equal, I don't mean mentally thinking of someone, to me if it is something I think would hurt my spouses feelings and it involved an actual person they are with or we even know then that is cheating. None of the mentally thinking of someone else, everyone does that. But the actually going out to even look for something else is cheating to me.