kimalicious

I know that such a low amount of calories is not perfect, but it is what works for me. When I can see the scale moving down it keeps me motivated. If I only see a pound every other week I lose interest and will just eat everything in sight as if what's the point. I know it is not the healthiest, but I feel like I was making up for the binge the night before. I'm pretty strict about staying under 800 a day during the week and on weekends I am much more lax with that. I figure it all evens out in the end. Funny the games we play with ourselves to eat the correct amount of food and calories in a day. Now if I could stick to a regular workout routine I would be in business.

"I also love movies, shopping, visiting with family, emailing, antiquing, working on house projects, shopping." from Sunta, this is what I think when I do these things!! Shopping: ooh, cookie store at the mall visiting with family: what restaurant will we meet at? emailing: what recipes can I look up? Antiquing: I love the tea shops in those places house projects: time to cook on the grill shopping: Have I been by the pretzel place at the mall yet? I am horrible. I need to learn also how to do things that don't involve eating or thinking of eating! I need a hobby, my last hobby was making a cookbook of all my mom's and grandma's recipes! Sad sad sad! hA!!!

You are right Nut that every one needs different motivation and I was the one taht counted my calories yesterday after my half miniburger and was happy with not going over my calories for the day and on the way home from work at 8:00 I had a lapse, I drove through the wal-greens, picked up a bag of Reeses peanut butter cups and a large bag of peanut m&ms, I got home, popped a bag of popcorn put half a stick of butter on it and opened a coke as I sat and watched TV and ate as much as I could. My band never kicked in other than stopping me at half a bag of popcorn and only 4 reeses peanut butter cups and a handfull of m&M's and 1/4 of a coke. (Pre band I would have eaten ever last bit.) As enjoyable as it was once I was through I was in physical pain, mostly from the coke gas stuck under my port. I wanted to throw up because I haven't eatten that horribly since my band was placed over a year ago. I don't know what came over me?? I don't know why I chose movie food as my crutch last night?? I don't know why I am even telling you this, but I woke up this morning not to have gained a pound back but also not to have lost. I try to keep my calories under 800 a day. I need that strictness to stick with this thing. I am completely and totally addicted to food and have done all of the "programs" and then some. I am down 63 pounds and not even half way to my goal, but there is one thing I have now that I didn't have before and that is the thought that when I woke up this morning I would not do that ever again (at least until next time :eek:) With my band I can have these transgressions and not fall flat on my face and when I wake up the next morning the band is there again to start all over. For me the band is the tool and when I don't particularly feel like eating low fat, I don't gain my weight back because I can eat so little it keeps me in line when I have these splurges. I am back on track today with my final calorie count for the day at 730 and a Gazelle at home that I will get on tonight. I am also the person that needs the hugs when I mess up or is it the kicks? I never know because it can be different from day to day. Your post made me think and I appreciate that...just remember that all of us are different and all of us will react and respond in different ways to your post and you can get offended just as some here have and know that it is ok to vent on these posts. People know when they have messed up and I know I have thought the very same thing you posted about originally, Ok, I am rambling enough is enough, just know that you need to be able to take it when you dish it, as with everyone on this board. You seem like the person that can! Thanks again for the post!!!!!! We love em like this!

Jacqui, that is hilarious. Ok, will someone tell me if I am a horrible wife? My husband was hinting at how he was sending me flowers on Valentine's Day. First of all it is annoying that he can't just surpirse me, but next he wants to make sure I will be at work this week. I tell him yes, but Valentine's Day is next week. He knew this but insisted that I get them ahead of time since that way I can "appreciate them longer." I tell him that everyone at work will know he is a cheap ars for sending them early since everyone knows that they are cheaper even the day before Valentine's Day. Men just don't get it, we love getting flowers on Valentine's Day so we can show off at work and say just how wonderful out husbands are, not how cheap they are sending them the week before. I am such a horrible wife I should just be happy I am getting flowers, but I bitch about him sending those ones that come in the box that I have to cut the bottoms off and arrange myself. Men HEAR THIS... That is why you pay a florist more so they can do that part for you and you see the flowers walking through the office to you...also I hate red roses, I have sweetly told him all of the other flowers and roses I love, but every time he sends them I get the red roses, in a box. God I love my man!

Everyone is different. I weighed the calories the other day for lunch eating a kids meal from a local burger joint. Well, I can eat half the cheeseburger and half the fries (which is all I can get down) and have only used 350 calories in that meal. For me, I have eaten this way for 27 years. The habit and addiction will not stop overnight. I do still try to push it when I want something bad enough. I may only get two bites down but sometimes I do push it. I am not hungry by any means but like a drug I have to have it. I have not been able to eat pizza since my last fill, but don't think I haven't tried. I am very picky and would rather not eat anything than to eat something that doesn't taste good. I eat way less than I would have ever eaten pre band, but if I eat that 350 calorie meal I spoke of earlier I will not lose weight. I love food and like previous posters I get depressed when I can't have them. To me it is a drug, unfortunately unlike drugs I have to keep eating to stay alive, I can't go cold turkey and not eat at all like people can with drugs and alcohol. I struggle everyday and will for the rest of my life over food choices. If you aren't struggling with food and you are obese then you are not human. Just my opinion.

I have this issue every day. The only difference is I know I am still fat and huge. Just last night I did what michele did and looked at some pictures taken not too long before my surgery. First of all, I have seen these pictures a million times and knew pre-band when I looked at them I was fat, but now looking at them I had no idea how big I had let myself get. I see others at my weight and know I have so much more to go to be happy with myself. My husband tells me how he can tell how much weight I have lost and I've gone from a 24-16, but I still can't TELL! Maybe when I get some more weight off and start to become a more normal size I won't feel like I stick out as much. Take pictures with people you know thier size and that way you can see yourself against them. I think I will try the bag thing too.

minime, bwhahahahhahaaa!!

Michele, you are so beautiful!! Your eyes are gorgeous. Such an inspiration. I got out my before pics last night. THey were from the week before my wedding. I couldn't believe my husband married me last night as I sat and looked at them. I still can't tell where I have lost weight because I didn't feel that big when I was that big, now that I have lost weight I feel HUGE!!! So I've gotten my pics out also and can't get them out of my mind. I have them on the fridge now and on my bedside table, I will not forget and I will never get there again. Once I hit below 200 I will never see 200 pounds again, no matter what it takes. Thanks for the idea!!! You can so do this!! Keep your head strong!

BWhahahahha!

This one gets and E for effort!!

I want one of these too, but I am worried it would end up a clothes gatherer. I know that when I did go tot he gym they would periodically sell their used ones for decent prices. You might check into that especially if they have some kind of warranty or something. I got a Gazelle that cost around $100 just to see if I would actually use the equipment at home and I do, so I would love a treadmill or elliptical machine.

Here is my 2 cents. I am on the pill, but no matter how pig I got I was always a big time horn dog, unfortunately it started from a very young age. I have been pondering why, when I am losing weight that my libido would drop. Well, for me I know when I started this weight loss is when I started realizing how big I had gotten and how much more weight I have to lose. Before I started looking at myself regularly and weighing myself and paying close attention to my weight I never thought twice about it, therefore It never affected my libido. Now that I know how big I am and now that I see the belly hanging worse than ever and the boobs and the extra skin every where and see all of the weight I still have to lose I don't feel sexy at all. I can't afford new clothes with every size I drop So my clothes are all too big right now, or just don't fit right anymore. I feel worse about my body image now than before the band and this has affected my own libido. I know my husband loves me and I know he would like more of what I got, but I also work full time plus and go to college part time. Put that along with driving 110 miles a day to and from all of these places and getting my workout in and housework and homework, I am just so not in the mood. The weirdest part of all of this is that I dream about it all the time!!! All the time!! But when I wake up that feeling is gone. I hope this doesn't last and I hope that the more weight I lose the better I will feel about myself.' Let me know Kellie if you hear any good ideas...it is past dressing sexy at this point for me.

Chill, I'm sorry to hear about this. Mine doesn't seem like it is something I do on purpose, but I can see where I am happy about it sometimes and how that could lead to worse problems. I had a bad episode last night so I will be on liquids for a few days. I am actually backing up on water today, so I know I am way tight. I hope having the unfill will help with the anorexia. It is a scary disease. Thank goodness you saw what you were doing and had the unfill to work on getting healthy. Good luck and let us know your progress.

I am 14 months out and have lost 63 pounds. I am taking it very slow obviously. I went 6 months with no loss though because I didn't go get a fill, So I would say the amount I have lost taking that 6 months away is about where I wanted to be. Imagine where I would be had I gotten my fill sooner. I could kick myself!

all the time about 3-4 times a week. yeah, I know, no one throw the popcorn at me! I have a very tight fill, but I am still maintaining my weight if I don't work really hard at exercising eveyday and keeping my calories really low. Sometimes I feel bulemic because I will eat something horrible and then PB and then feel better because I got to eat what I wanted but didn't get the calories from it. This happens on a rare occasion, but it happens. Oh well. I like where I am now.

I am the same way. I keep taking pictures of myslef with a digital camera in different outfits next to people so I can see what I look like compared to them. I'm a freak! I just don't feel smaller even though I have gone from 24-16, I think it doesn't help that all of the stores have thier sizes different. So you get all excited about fitting into a 14 somewhere and then yo hit a different store and it is an 18 that fits perfect. WHo knows what size we actually are! THat was one of my biggest goals when I started this was to never shop at Layne Bryant again, but you are so right I have looked and looked and keep going back to them due to style and fit. I guess at these sizes we are stuck in the middle, don't wanna shop at Lane Bryant and cant get into The Limited yet. My biggest problem now is the belly hang. I still can't wear cute short shirts because it always hangs below them. I can't wait to hit my goal weight and have it wacked off so I can wear the nice cute clothes.

I have been wondering why I try to push my band so much. Eating around it and then eating too much to the point of PB. Well, on most days I have decent restriction. But there are those days that I can eat a lot at one sitting like my band was never there. When I have times like this it is like my brain goes buck wild and tries to eat everything in sight until I PB and then get swollen and then can't eat regular food for a few days, then I loosen up, try to eat a big meal again just to see if I can get it down and then the whole cycle starts over again. WHen I have good restriction my mind tells me not to even try putting certain things in my mouth but when I am wide open it's like all bets are off. Then they stay off until I push it too far. I have been on this cycle for over a month now. Does anyone else do this and keep their weight the same or gradually start moving back up? Has anyone ever gotten a good reason why the band can be so different on restricition even from one meal to the next?

Lately, it's been helpful that I have been not getting off of work until 7:00 and I don't want to eat that late either, so my last meal is around 4:00. It has helped. It is all in my head and I just need to wrap myself around that.

It is the worst. On my bad days I wake up thinking about what I can get down, and when I am eating I think about my next meal and what will I eat then, I also prepare entire parties in my head around meals and prepare full cooked meals in my head telling myself I am going to make these and then If I can remember a smell of something I love I HAVE to have it and can think of nothing else until I do. On my good days, I wake up and want something and know my band can't handle it that early, so I eat a decent breakfast thinking about what I could have had the whole time. I yell at myself in my head the rest of the day when I am having food thought after food thought. I force myself not to get candy from the vending machine on an hourly basis. Then I condition myself until lunch that I will order off of the low fat menu when I get there....repeat repeat repeat until done eating. Then I do the same until dinner. Then after dinner I have to scream at myself not to think of sweets until bedtime. This is a daily event and a never ending one. It is tiring just thinking about it. At this point I know I have a lunch date with a girlfriend up at work today and I know she will want to go to Chili's so I have been yelling at myself all morning about the guiltless grill chicken sandwich and salad with light dressing. Over and over and over I have told myself this, so when I get into that place and smell all the awesome smells, I will not even look at the menu and just order it rather than tempt myself even further. THis will start all over again about an hour after lunch for dinner. Oh what a cycle we live with.

Try smoking! It actually raises your metabolism. Ok, don't start smoking but it actually does. Also if you do the whole eat every 2-3 hours that keeps your metabolism up. I don't mean full meals, but even little snack packs and even a single reese's cup between meals is supposed to keep your metabolism going all day long as long as you don't go more than 3 hours without eating something.

I don't need a fill because most days and meals I do great on restriction. Like eating barely half of a chicken sandwich for lunch and that is all I can get down. Maybe 6 bites at dinner. It is just those days that come by when I will sit down to a meal and order what I want because I think I will only get 5 bites down anyways and then I can eat everything on my plate plus dessert. I know I shouldn't let the band do ALL the work but most days it does, so I feel let down when it takes a day off. It is so true, if I gave up my food addiction, it would be something else. WHY can't I be addicted to exercise like some people!!?

I would go to church every Sunday if he would sing to me!!! Ha! Hope he doesn't run away screaming after this. Everyone looks so good!!

Dee Dee, I like my Gazelle because it was inexpensive and I can do it in front of the TV. It burns like 270 calories for 30 minutes. The only downfall I have found is because your feet remain stable sometimes this bothers my knees. But I truck on through usually and get past it. It has also gotten a little squeeky since I have really worn it out over the year. I got the cheapest model though like $125 and it is really holding up and is easy to do. I do love the ball. I was worried about the weight requirement, but it is really thick material it is made out of but it didn't give a specific weight. My husband is about 230 and we both do it and have no problem. I never feel like it will bust under me. It actually feels really good to do what they call the "drape" where you just lay face down over the ball and drape your body over it and relax. It really feels good on my back. Makes crunches easy and much better than sitting on a chair to do all of the arm work. I felt my Butt big time the next day. I am trying the 45 minute one tonight so I will keep you posted on how it goes.

My husband just bought this package, the one that has Brooke Burke on the front, it comes with the workout tapes and one of those big blow up workout balls. Has anyone else used this? I tried it last night and did fine with the ball except when you have to roll onto itwith your stomach. It really pushed on my band and port. Has anyone else tried this on the big workout balls and have the same problem? I was wondering if there was any way I could move to keep it from putting pressure right on my band? And does anyone who has lost most of their weight know if this gets better or worse after you lose more weight. I would think better since there is less weight laying on the band, but also worse since there is less padding for the band. Which one is right?

To me it is more of a sculpting video than an aerobic video. Which is what I am wanting now since my bat wings have appeared. I want to scuplt my skin back onto my muscles! Ha! I do my sweatin stuff on the Gazelle I have. So far so good though, I am sore today!