theshrinkingchef

Well, you're wrong! Lol! I really am kidding. Just trying to lighten things up! It's such a heated debate! Someone said on another topic, we must all be stressed and what not around the holidays and that may be true! Let's all be happy and grateful to be alive and look forward to an amazing New Year! And agree, to disagree!

I think it's a great forum. I try to ignore anything that comes across judgemental. I just don't respond to it. Thank you and move on. Entertaining any of that stuff only validates the negativity and perpetuates it. It can only hurt you if you let it. I say, thanks, but no thanks! That's it, no more. You're done. You can't change bitter people, they can only change themselves. By arguing with people, we only strengthen their resolve to be bullies and feel justified. Some people just have to argue because its all they know. End the cycle and take away their power and their ability to affect you negatively! Move on and when they have nothing to argue with,they too have to move on. It is just that simple.

Well said Jen35. I know my coworkers will smile in your face, give you encouragement and the first opportunity they have to use it against you.... they will. It's important to know who you can really talk to. Even some family members don't wish you well. I will say a friend of mine shared that she had bypass surgery and was very open to questions from me. It is why I started to explore this option. From that point, I have gone to seminars, forums, you tube and googled everything I wanted to know. My friend was the inspiration, but I took the initiative to find out about it. Btw... I would have atleast threatened to sue!

For the longest time I made excuses as to why I couldn't do things by myself, but often found that people let me down when I asked them to fo things with me. Why would I go to the movies by myself? Go out to eat by myself? Go to a party by myself? Travel by myself? I would ask people to go with me and at the last minute they'd cancel or better yet act as if they didn't make a commitment in the first place. I'd get so mad! I'd cry and I would make declarations like I'm done or forget them. One day, I woke up and said I'm going to Paris. I bought a backpack, a train ticket and hopped on a plane by myself. It was the most amazing trip ever! I was gone two months and I made it by myself! I met amazing people and I traveled all over Europe! I've been several times and even had an expensive meal in a fancy restaurant BY MYSELF! I realized that my fears of going alone held me back and the disappointment I had in my friends made me lonely. I'm stronger than that and I don't need anyone to make me feel whole, I can do it for myself. That self discovery is awesome! It made me appreciate who I was as a person and love myself even more! Just think, if I waited for my friends to do anything, I would have never gone anywhere! This is your moment to discover how strong you really are! You just watch as your friends realize you're leaving them behind! I wish you all the success in the world!

Hey! I guess I've jumped on in, feet first! I've tapped into some pretty interesting topics and some heated debates. There have been some not so nice comments being made on top of some very valid points. Sadly, the negative comments overshadow these healthy debates and we find the topics being shut down and removed. I am a " tell it like it T.I.S" type of person, but I try to be respectful and mindful of other peoples feelings. I also respect people's opinions, even if I don't agree with them. And often resolve that we can agree to disagree. In these debates, we learn about different subject matters and sometimes find our perspectives changing because of them. I think a lot of us here can agree that the negativity has to go! You can respectfully disagree with people, blow off some steam, but hurting one another is not the goal. I want to learn from you all and when I see some of the stuff I'm reading, it loses it's meaningfulness and you the credibility. I know it's frustrating sometimes and we can all be very passionate about out beliefs, but we have to remember: that this is a support forum. Thanks for listening to my rant! I hope everyone is well and continues to be well. All we need is love!

Supposebly! Um... That's not a word! It's Supposedly or Possibly not a fusion! Ugh... The absolute worst: irregardless! Huh? It's regardless!

That's right! I agree 100%. It's our right to keep things private. If I don't wanna tell you, I'm not going to. People have their own ways of dealing with things. The person who omitted that she had surgery proably didn't want to say "none of your business" and chose to spare you an awkward and uncomfortable situation(really for the both of you). Prime example: I had a guy at work ask me how much I paid for my car. I never talk to the guy, he's not a nice person and decides to out of the blue ask me what I paid. Seriously? Can't you look it up on the Internet? Are you asking because you genuinely want to know orare you asking because you don't think I should be able to afford a nice car like this and your telling me that in the form of that bogus, whack a$$ question? Considering his personality, our non existent relationship and the fact that you can look it up on the web, I choose to believe the latter and told him NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! That's definitely something else that comes into play... The person's intent! Anyway.... It's a personal choice and if they choose not to disclose... Don't be mad. I know plenty of people that had lap bands and bypass surgery and they didn't announce it to the world. And I respect them no less for it.

I see your point about an omission being a lie....but there is a big difference here. What is one going to say? I don't feel like telling you how I lost weight! Granted, if I didn't want you to know, I'd probably say, no of your business! Lol! But I'm brutally honest! So how do you back out of that cruel statement and awkward conversation? I'm just saying! Put yourself in that position. A virtual stranger wants to know your business and you don't want to them to know your business, but you also don't want to hurt their feelings... What do you say?

I know it's hard and like they said above haters are going to hate. Continue being yourself and forget about them. They are obviously insecure in themselves. Sad to say, we don't go to work to make friends. We go to earn money to pay bills and live our lives. It's nice if you meet some nice folks along the way, but you know who your true friends are and who has your back. Not these folks. I had a number of co workers be outwardly mean to mean. They would call me rich girl and they thought I was a snob and thought I was better than them. Instead of getting upset, I always smiled and moved on. I was always pleasant and kill them with kindness. I knew it drove them nuts! Because I never gave them the power to control my feelings. Misery loves company and they wanted me to feel bad too! I would just smile and keep on moving. Eventually they came around and realized I was truly a nice person. Now, I'm not saying we became the best of friends, but work was tolerable. I found out many years later that they all had major issues in their home lives and it's why they were who they were. I was never mean to them and I guess in their own way appreciated that because now when I see them I'm greeted with warm smiles. You're right, you never know anyone's story. Keep doing what you have to do and kill them with kindness. It'll drive them crazy!

I guess I'm just at a place in my life where I don't sweat the small stuff and I'm just not that sensitive to negative comments anymore. I've accepted myself, I love myself and I am taking steps to improve the quality of my life for myself. I'm also a brutally honest person. I don't have time to sugar coat things, but I also recognize that there are ways to be frank with people, without being rude, sometimes. Most people dong want to hear the truth. They want to hear what they want and ride unicorns and chase rainbows. It's easier than dealing with reality. It took me a while to face my reality and once I did, I realized that it's not that bad. In fact, i gained a lot of perspective and realized that it could be worse and thank the Lord that it's not. If someone calls me fat! Okay. And? So what If someone calls you fat. Okay. And? What else you got? Who cares. If you love yourself, then it shouldn't matter. If doesn't matter. If someone says something you don't like, dismiss it. We're not going to like everything or everyone. You may not like what I have to say, but, unlike some, I will tell you the truth. Being upset over what someone says to you is not going to change the situation. I'm sure those people have moved on. Why are you holding on to it? Please understand that my statements are not directed at anyone specifically. I also feel that we get too worked up and wrapped up in nonsense that we miss the message. Maybe the delivery could be nicer, but if it isn't, does it make it any less valid? Take it for what it is and stop reading in between the lines. Say thank you and move on. It's not gospel, it's one person's opinion.

Not so fast... Again it's not a lie. It's not disclosing that you got a little help. There is a different. Maybe you are comfortable talking about yourself, but she may not be. It's not her responsibility to help you or anyone with their weight problems. Besides, everyone is different. What works for her may not be the solution for you. It's not false hope. Diet and exercise does, in fact, work for some people. Others, not so much. Bariatric surgery is a tool to help those who struggle with weight loss, but it isn't the final solution. Just like everyone else, we have to focus on diet and exercise in order to lose and maintain. For that woman, it may be difficult for her to admit that she got help. Heck, it's difficult for many to ask for help! Your journey through weight loss and the road you have to take to get there is vastly different from everyone else. So before to go judging her, consider that. And btw, who cares if she didn't tell anyone! If she's doing Water aerobics, then she's not really lying. And, I'm here to tell you... Water aerobics is the bomb, especially deep water! It's a good form of exercise, don't sleep on it! Move on.

Sorry for typos... On my phone

Okay! So I haven't read through all of this, so this may be a repeater. There is an attitude about WLS that people who don't have a weight problem have that is well....cruel and mean. They think it's the easy way out, cheating or downright lazy. Sorry, there are a lot of judgmental people out there. There's no shame in telling someone diet and exercise. Because, guess what? It is diet and exercise with the assistance of surgery. My coworkers are jerks and are never happy for anyone. And that's the truth! They use any information and try to use it for malicious intent. You think I want to share anything with someone that is so miserable that thatching never bd happy for me, heck no! Maybe your neighbor is guarded and has trust issues. Maybe that is something she has to work on. To share something so personal that may even have a tinge of shame with her may be difficult. Every person is different. She's not a liar, she's just not ready. It's none if your business. It's no ones and to imply that it should be shared is ridiculous. If someone were to ask me, I might tell them. Not because I'm secretive, but I trust and believe that they habe the best intentions and wish me well. Consider that.

Wear compression garments. The ones they give to people who gave plastic surgery or spanx all of the time(even while working out) it helps with gravity while in motion. Loose skin's worst enemy: gravity. Take a collagen supplement/vitamin c. They aid in New collagen growth. Aldo helps with skin and nails. Dry brushing also exfoliates skin, which promotes renewal as well. Use sulfate free body wash and find a moisturizing cream lotion, such as Nivea firming. Exfoliation is essential. Also take omega 3/6/9 like flaxseed oil with borage. It's good fat. Helps aid in maintaining lean muscle mass as does protein. Lift weights to build lean muscle mass. And hear me out. As you get closer to goal, if you have loose skin that you can squeeze in your hands, it's not loose skin. It's stubborn fat. You literally have to starve(go into ketosis) in order to lose that fat. Most suggest the master cleanse or lemonade detox to do the trick. I'm not a doctor, so do you're own research. You have to do a liver cleanse as well to help the liver function properly. This will rev up your metabolic engine and help lose stubborn/adipose belly fat. I just recently learned this in my quest to prevent loose skin. Mark Sisson talks about the paleo diet. Google him and loose skin. It's an interesting read. Also, Go to Www.terrygivens.com. His a friend, he's in amazing shape and he reinforces a lot of what I'm saying.

Wellbutrin is like lexapro but different from effexor. Seriously, it depends on how you feel. I was given lexapro, I didn't gain and I didn't lose and I didn't feel better same with paxil. I took effexor, which is a tough drug to get used to and a tough drug to get off of! I experienced insane side effects, including major weight gain. The drug made me feel good and made me forget to watch what I eat(seriously). I switched to wellbutrin after a near 40lb weight gain, which was supposed to help me lose, while feeling better, it didn't. But, I didn't gain either. You're not going to know until you take them how it will effect you. It's different with everyone. It's good that you have the sleeve to help in that respect, right?

They're all just crazy! Can I say that? Listen, I struggled with depression for years. For the first winter of my life, I'm on top of it! Yay! You know why? Because I just learned to let things go. I focus on the things I can control and allow everything else to just fall at the wayside. We hold on to too much and we allow it to fester. The sooner we release it, the better off we'd be. I'm just happy to be happy! If people just focused on being happy, nothing else would matter!

I see both sides. The truth is, we're all adults. The choices we make either have consequences or rewards and we have to live with those outcomes( good or bad). No one likes to hear tough love or negative comments. I know I don't, but, as adults, we have to be able to interpret good intentions versus bad ones and dismiss them if the ones that are bad( sticks and stones, right?) I'm sure most people are well meaning but their delivery is a little off and it comes across as pious or condescending. Take it with a grain of salt. Life really is too short to take offense. Sure it stings, but it shouldn't dictate your life. You are going to do what you want despite what anyone says... So who cares? I've learned a lot from this forum and have a lot more to learn. I appreciate the honesty and how open everyone is about their experiences. I take what I need to to heart and leave the nonsense behind. There's always going to be someone out there being judgmental or think they know the best way to do things. You do what is best for you. Do you really give a hoot what others think? If so, then maybe you're not ready.... I'm really just kidding! . Have a glorious day and enjoy this journey!

Hi everyone, As I have begun the process of getting "sleeved", I've been doing a lot of research. BTW, I love this forum. You guys have been so helpful. As a chef, my goal is to maintain some sort of "normalcy" in the types of foods I eat. I've read that we can pretty much eat anything we want, once we go on to solid foods. What types of foods are you all eating during post-op? I hear it is not at all glamorous. Are you buying prepackaged foods? My doctor/RD advised Medi-fast for pre-op, which does not excite me. Are you all doing medi-fast after too? I'm in the process of making tons of Soups and freezing them. What else should i be prepping? It's just me for the most part, with the help of my mother. But I am doing this on my own. Any help would be great! Thanks!

Thank you for all of the feedback! I have a pretty tough job(letter carrier) and also wanted to gauge how much time to take off of work. I know it's different for everyone, but, it's good to know I won't be laid up in bed for a long time.

Well, it's just me, so unfortunately, I'm going to have to do some prepping. Since I am a chef, I am able to throw some stuff together and freeze it( and yes I use fresh ingredients). I have food allergies(recently diagnosed), so I don't/can't eat too many processed foods anymore. How soon, after surgery are you able to move around? Exercise? Are you in a lot of pain? I'm getting nervous.

Actually, soy and almond milk have approximately the same amount of protein as regular milk. It's also a good source of vitamin e and a. Almonds contain good fats, which help aide in maintaing lean muscle mass. one 8oz glass of almond milk actually provides almost 50% of your daily needed calcium. It's a solid alternative in your protein shakes and smoothies.

The first thing you have to stop is thinking that this is all your fault. Whatever happened to get you to the point where you needed to ask for help about your weight is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our pride. I certainly do and for the longest time, I was in denial that I could do this on my own. You took a step to change your life for the better. Yes, you had part of your stomach removed. at this point, there is no buyers remorse. So, you now have to deal with the things you can control and what you have to looked forward to. I've heard that some people do experience some form of depression and at least you are recognizing it before you go into a full blown depression. Coming from someone who has been in a severe depression, it's no fun and you do feel like you are having an out of body experience. Once I took the shame out of what I was feeling and got some help, things started to get better. My advice is to go see someone even if you think it will pass. This is an overwhelming experience and it is a total lifestyle overhaul. BTW. you are normal, just feeling different right now. Hopefully, when you are all healed up and have adjusted to your new lifestyle you'll see and feel the difference. you can't have regrets now, just keep moving and please go talk to someone( even if it's just once) Take care

You just have to finf healthier vices. I had a friend of mine that turned into an avid runner and she never was! She was seriously lazy! lol! I used to drink a lot socially and I got into weight-lifting. i enjoyed it, it was a stress reliever and I would end up skipping happy hour. Seriously, you need to find something to do that you enjoy and can do on a regular basis to take your mind off of those things. Regardless of what our therapists do, they should never advise you to do things you don't want to do/want to change or should not do. They're human, but should be able to identify addictive personalities and the like. They're also there to offer guidance and advice. If that's not what you're getting out of therapy, then perhaps it's time to seek out another one(just saying) I love these forums for the objective advice and experiences from others that have been there and done that. I certainly wish you the best and hopefully you'll be able to work through what you need. Is there a support group through your surgeon's office? They may be able to help, too! Good luck.

Try to find shakes with higher protein count, especially if you can't drink as much. I know you said whey protein is making you nauseus but try. It's very important that you get that protein. Are you on soft stuff yet? Greek yogurt is high in protein. Met-rx protein plus has 51g per serving.

Protein is a muscle builder. As you lose weight, you want to maintain muscle mass while losing the fat. What you have there is typically what bodybuilders drink. That's a lot of calories. Personally, I would drink it. I have nice muscle definition(under my fat, lol) from my bodybuilding days that I have been able to maintain through vitamin supplementation(Branch chained amino acids and CLA/ALA/GLA) and protein consumption. As I am losing weight, I am still maintaining that definition. Consider this: Calories in/Calories out. If you're diet is supposed to be roughly 1000 calories per day(which is crazy low) and you lift weights and do aerobic exercise, depending on the activity, you're going to lose weight. We're supposed to consume anywhere from 1600-2000 calories a day( a healthy person, that has 60 minutes of aerobic activity and is at their goal weight). 1200 calories is still a loss, from average. I know I'm rambling... Bottom line: If your goal is 1000 calories for a loss and you consume 1400 calories then you must find an activity where you burn 400 calories. spinning for 1hr, depending on intensity, would do it. Lifting weights will rev up your fat burning machine and keep it running throughout the day. as long as your active and your caloric intake isn't out of control, you should be fine.