crosseyedtango

no, thank you! this is why i wanted to ask everyone's advice! you always think of those questions afterward... haha.

Thanks guys! I'm going to write out a list of questions for when I go in.

ALSO, you say he's been jealous all along. so obviously your weight loss is not the real issue. it is HIS issue. and maybe he thought by dating a bigger girl he wouldn't have to worry about it as much and now that you've lost some weight and gained some confidence he's feeling especially insecure. he's manipulative and controlling and always has been it's just now you're seeing the full extent of it. AND the fact that he claims he has no issue and won't even consider counseling just goes to show his true selfish nature. and also shows that you AREN'T this jerk he's making you out to be since you are the one encouraging counseling and making an effort to try to make things work. sorry for all the comments/rants but damn, i just hate dudes like that. haha.

if one of the main reasons you don't want to end it is because of what other people will think... then i think that says a lot right there. and it is totally normal to care what people think and there's nothing wrong with that to an extent. but really. screw them. it's your relationship, your body, and YOUR life. wasn't part of getting the surgery and losing the weight so that you could finally LIVE your life to it's fullest? so go do it and embrace your new confidence by giving a big middle finger to the jerks!

i've never been in this situation, but seriously, you are young! it's great that you have a new found confidence in yourself and you should be out enjoying it and dating and seeing what's out there! i'm getting surgery around may and i've worried about it changing who i am too, but honestly, it is a life changing experience and it WILL change you. and that isn't always necessarily a bad thing. sounds like it has changed you for the better (more confidence, more social), and that is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of. have fun, and don't let your boyfriend make you feel badly for it. and honestly, anyone who says **** like, "i liked you when no one wanted you" is NOT worth your time. that was a d**k move.

Oh, and I'm having my surgery at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak.

Hey everyone! I've been looking for some kind of support group online and I just found this site! For my insurance I was required to have 8 months of medical documentation and December will be month five. I've had my psych evaluation and everything else and I've been cleared for surgery at this point, and I'll be done with my documentation in March and then I will be able to schedule surgery. So at this point I'm thinking my actual surgery will be in May or June! Up until last week I really hadn't been taking surgery seriously because I was in the mindset that it was so far away, or that it just wouldn't happen for whatever reason, or just the fact that I honestly cannot even imagine being any other size so it all seems to unbelievable to me. But since I saw my doc last it has finally hit me that this is happening, if I want it to. And I've finally decided this is what I really want and I'm now allowing myself to get excited about it. It's just crazy to imagine. I think that's going to be the hardest thing for me; learning to let go of how I've viewed myself for the last 25 years. I've always been big, so my weight has been a part of who I am and how I deal with things for so long. But I'm excited for this new, HUGE life change. Terrified, but also excited. Haha. Anyway, I'm happy to have found this site and be able to talk to people who are going through, or have gone through, the same thing. -Mary