Rick7714

ok here goes my name is rick I am italian well not really just the blood part kinda like my golden retriver Iam second generation well half anyway my dad was born here but he got himself an italian wife when he got she didnt speak any english anyway I was born in 1960 so I am now 52 years old I like many was born fat 11 pounds 4 ounces from a diabetic mother but beinging italian made things worse because you know all italian mothers from italy can cook and omg my mom could cook I learned from her.
food gloryis food a large part of being a true american italian is a big family and food. in 1980 I joined the us army I had to fast for a week because my max weight was 209 and i was like 220 any way I passed and when I finished basic I was like 180 pounds f**king a I was hot I was so thin I had no cloths to wear but it was not to last long because I Was a cook food , food, food, my max weight was 180 and OVER TIME I again become over weight 13 pounds, of course I was because I was surround by food and when the battery was out running where was I cooking of course
So after 3 years I get out and go to a trade school college guess what I studied ....come on.... culinary arts lol . after school I bounced around from restaurant to resturant and finally end ended up a baker I was there 12 years surrounded by fat and sugar and flour and cinnamon and butter and it was wounderfull
when I was 33 my mom got sick and died of colin cancer but during that time I was dieting and running and doing just tons of cardio I got so thin that people asked my wife if I had aids I was really hot again but after mom died it slowly came back and back and back.
we had two sons a 4 year old and a new born we later moved to toms river my wife always struggled with her weight having babies is tough woman are stronger than men good bless you all.
In 2010 I started to investage bariatric surgery many pepole who I know of at work had the gastric bypass so after my first appointment my descision was made but my wife was against it too many people we knew have not done well long term with this anyway after fasting for two weeks she talked me out of it then I was goung to get the lap band and again I fasted for two weeks but then I heard about the sleeve and decided thats what i wanted and I fasted again for two weeks lol but then my insurance turned me down and by this time I had lost so much weight from fasting that I didnt need surgery anymore after this I ran and lifted weights I got down to 175 I was hot woman turned their heads at me again lol it was great.
but in 2011 my wife of 20 years passed away its a terrible excuse but I stoped running and started drinking Im drinking now I put all the weight back on because its so much eaiser to eat and drink and just do nothing
in 2012 I again began looking for a surgon and found one here in my home town so my surgery was scheduled for dec 18 and this time I chickened out what am I doing My whole life revoles around food I will never be able to eat a big meal again and the worse part is Im alone in this almost know one knows I have no one to tell or talk to Im a very private person and have told no one at work its my business so this decision is all mine as it should be and soon on march 19 I will go ahead and have the surgery I keep telling my self its about a longer life resolving diabeties high blood pressure and cholestrol being thin and sexy again those are the bounus food is to keep me alive it cannot be a life style I have eaten enough food in my younger days its time now to live 30 more years too many people are over weight and sick I want to live. I took pictures of my self this time uggh Im disgusting if I was a woman and saw me naked I would laugh at me because wheres the beef its true all all men know the fatter you are the smaller it is I cant breath everything is painfull just bending over is hard I cant believe that in one year I did this to myself again that is why Im getting this surgery it has to stop.