rswa3319

I totally did something stupid today and allowed myself to try and get into a binge mode. I didn't get much down and ended up with the slimes AND throwing up. Now I have horrible heartburn and cramping... Jeeze what a way to retrain the brain. For now... OMG ow! Scary part is I know my trigger right away... People have been pointing out my weight loss everywhere even people that I don't see that often and I don't like it.

Well being the original poster I can only cast light on my own reasons and life... I am happily married and have been for 7 years, I have two kids whom I adore, and up until the surgery I was exactly the same weight I was when I was in high school. I've never, not once, been under 200 lbs since I was 13 and I have no clue what it would be like. I've lived, dated, loved and lost at 260-270 lbs and I was completely fine doing so. I'm also only 27 years old and at the beginning of my adult life. I'm completely comfortable in my "fat" body and hell yeah I rock the sexy lingerie and strip for my husband as if I were 120lbs waif. So then why have the surgery? Diabetes runs in my family, along with heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. I have a heart murmur and runs of tachycardia that they can't find a reason for. I also have epilepsy and insomnia. Soooo, was it for looks? No lol why would it be? My husband and I both like the softness of my body and the way I can tight lace into a corset. Do I think life will be better or different thinner? No clue, I've never been thin. The reason why I dont like the attention of losing weight because I feel like I'm being praised for being superficial and wanting to "fit in" to the mold that society tells me I should fit into. It makes me want to start handing out sheeple stickers or come back with a snappy report about how much my heart palpitations have been reduced. Alas this is a visual world and only those slight of figure get the compliments. THATS why I eat, thats why I prefer to be invisible... I'd rather be invisible and fat than to be confused with someone who cares about what society tells me is attractive. Edited to add: that is until the doctor sat me down and told me to knock it off and that it was time to take care of my health so I didn't have to do this in my 50s with a ton of comorbidities.

I didn't actually want to lose weight, I wanted to be healthier. It was never about looks for me and as a matter of fact in my psych eval I told her how petrified I was about losing weight because it meant I had to start confronting the issues behind the desire to be invisible. At my heaviest I am also my most confidant and to be able to go through life doing my thing without people commenting on my appearance at all is preferred. The psych thought it wouldn't be as big of an issue as I may have been anticipating but I think time is telling how wrong she is.

Yeah I know, I don't really know why either. I kinda like the anonymity that comes with being overweight.

Holy cow!!! I WISH I was getting that much in!! I am over a month out and some days I am lucky if I get in 20g of Protein and 300 calories. What are you drinking to get so much in?

Yes, my surgeon and NUT say between 20-40 carbs a day is the target. No juices, no simple carbs at all. Only carbs I can consume are from fruits and veggies directly.

It sounds absolutly ridiculous but try to find a tween to teach you how to burp on command.... it'll REALLY help when you take too big of sips of Water because you feel like you are dieing of thirst! I just appologize ahead of time and try to be as quiet as possible. Luckily my husband routinely does far more gross things and my kids think it's hillarious! lol

I have not been able to do it yet but my husband is really REALLY challenging me into going and at least TRYING on a bra from Victoria Secret. I am down to one bra because I either snapped the underwires in the month leading up to surgery or the cups are mishapen from being pulled so tight around me. I keep saying how I am looking foreward to buying VS lingerie more so because I think it looks sexy and he keeps telling me you could wear it now!! What's the hold up?? ....the hold up is not wanting those horrid rail thin sales women with fake tits asking me if I need help or even worse "are you shopping for youself or someone else?" Sigh... online they carry my size I might just have to bite the bullet and go. I think it might be one of THE most rewarding experiences so far!

Lander, thank you for the info on what a stall is!! I think that is a very logical way of thinking of it and something that will help me. I keep hitting stalls that last a couple days to a week or so and heck yeah it's frustrating!!! One of the things I was VERY upfront about with my NUT and surgeon was that in the past when I hit a platau my willpower would give out before the scale would budge. They were both very supportive of that and said that this way my body actually wont allow for that to happen so it will condition my behavior and thought process. It's been working mostly but there are still times where I just wanna throw the scale across the yard. lol

I have had people at work actually tell me that they thought I had gastric bypass to my face... I looked at her and said, "no" and that was that. I absolutely HATE that person now and frankly never really want to see her again. What I really wanted to say was... "do I LOOK fat and slovenly enough to have that done? Do I LOOK like the stereotype you have cast in your head of someone who needs that? Why don't you keep your uneducated opinions to yourself you horrid witch." I am of the camp that I don't really want to share my surgery with anyone, I don't want the comments, opinions or uneducated input of people that I work with. Nor do I want to hear the gossip about it. Luckily I will be quitting in June so I wont have to deal with it much longer but boy do I know how you feel.

I tell you what... there ARE some days when I don't feel like I am losing enough or fast enough or I am not seeing the changes in my body that I would like to see change and then my husband wants pizza or Wendy's for dinner and I just look at him and go... "Some days I swear to god I should have just stayed FAT AND ENJOYED THE DAM BACONATOR!!!" So to answer your question?? YES! There are some days when I absolutely regret it but I think it's more of a teenaged rebellion type feeling even though I am 27 with two kids and have been married for almost 6 years lol. I think if I were older or had more health problems prior to the surgery I might feel differently but I was textbook healthy beforehand except for being morbidly obese. It brings back all those thoughts of only doing it for vanity's sake and wanting to do things without feeling like I was the elephant in the room (pun intended) There are also days, like when I get to throw away "fat clothes" or when I have no appetite at all or when I think I am starving and instead am satisfied off of two tablespoons of food that I couldn't be happier with my choices.

That's so funny I have not had ANY adverse reactions to any kinds of food. I have gotten the slimes for eating too fast and I get heartburn often but I always had that anyway. I was kind of hoping for some operant conditioning like this to go on for me but it's just not. Seems to me that the more operant conditioning you can get in while the surgery is still fresh the better it will be long term... psychologically speaking. I've had a fry here and there (never was my thing before surgery anyhow) but they tasted just as good, went down just as smooth and after 1" of fry my craving was satisfied and that was the end of that. The things I am avoiding like the plague though are breads!! I tried to eat a bite of a whole wheat pancake and the sucker stuck so hard right next to my heart it felt like I was going to have to shove a finger down my throat to make myself throw up and alleviate the pressure!!

So I will be getting my surgery done first thing in the morning on 12/12/12 at Good Sam hospital in San Jose. The surgeon said that I was the first and that he had more that day in that hospital. I really wouldn't mind meeting up with a buddy who will be getting surgery that day or still going to be in the hospital on that day. So just a call out to everyone out there, anyone going to be in Good Sam on 12/12/12 that might want to get team support going?

To those of you who suggested unjury chicken soup flavored... OMG I got my shipment of sample packs today and thank you thank you thank you!! This is WAY going to help get more protein in! I saw my surgeon and NUT earlier this week and they released me to eat whatever I wanted (within reason obviously) and it's still like 2 tbsp at a time and only REALLY wanting to eat once a day. I mean it still has that funky cheese smell going on but the saltiness of the drink itself FAR outweighs the smell. I just try not to breathe through my nose lol

I would have never said that it was possible but I am officially sick of sweets!! I have good tasting whey protein that is nice and low in carbs and high in protein and I cannot choke the things down any longer! I am at the end of my second week but I started drinking them before my surgery on 12/12/12. The texture makes me wanna gag, the flavor makes me wanna spit it out.. the only thing I want anything to do with is nice warm broth. I don't mind not eating and I cannot get enough calories or fluids going at this pace. Is there ANY savory protein drinks? Or perhaps a protein powder that is like miralax clear and disolves in anything and is colorless and flavorless?

Well this Wednesday I will be exactly 4 weeks post op and I am still having a hard time getting down my protein and liquids. I am sure some of it is just psychosomatic but I am trying. Right now I am resorting to sugar free popcicles to get down extra fluids and I have my follow up appt day after tomorrow. I know I'm going to get nagged at I was just wondering if anyone else had a hard time with getting stuff down after surgery? My Aunt, who had the RNY, said that she never had this issue at all. I just know I CAN'T be the only one out there.

No but I definately get dizzy spells where I feel like I'm going to... I even get the narrowing vision that normally goes with fainting. I have been checking my blood pressure and it's usually really on th elow end of normal with my heart rate elevated. Typically happens if I get up too quickly or if I've been standing too long.

Holy cow some of those are SUPER high in carbs! Holy carb! lol My NUT wants me to stay under 50g of carbs a day and between 40-70g protein a day. So for the drinks I need SUPER high in protein and super low in carbs. I LOVE this thread guys! I didn't know that the big companies sell sample packs! I am ording some right now from Unjury! Chocolate milk and chicken broth were a HUGE love of mine before surgery so it sounds like it's gonna be right up my ally.

yeah I heard it was a bad idea because you suck up a lot more air and have a tendency to drink too much too fast.... I have not had this problem though.

My doctors orders were to not lift anything heavier than 10lbs for two weeks after surgery... I was picking up my 10 month old pretty much my 5th day out without any pain. Just start training the baby now to crawl to you and lift ONLY with your arms and not your core and it shouldn't hurt at all.

I was sleeved on the 12th too and it feels like I haven't slowed down once. I've been back to work several shifts and a double shift already, cooking, cleaning, shopping and taking care of my babies. I have been managing pain with a half dose of lortab once a day or so... Sometimes by the end of the say I'm really in pain. food sucks lol so I'm not pushing it. Especially since I'm not even getting my fluids all in yet so im not rushing off to semi solids. Just found out that we have lost our insurance too because my husband's work would have been fined huge to keep anthem so they dropped it. It's a relatively small business and they are being dragged over the coals with all the new taxes and insurance mandates... They just can't keep up so now, less than 3 weeks out, I've lost ALL my doctors and surgeon and now have to switch to kaiser... Whom I hate with a passion.

So I had my surgery yesterday morning at 7:30am. So far it has been a trip. No complications or anything but I have been struggling with the pain meds... morphine knocks me out completely, as does the liquid vicodin... so I am not quite sure what I can take when I get home. I may just pick up some liquid tylenol and use my vicodin sparingly... mostly at night or when I'm with taking a nap. Other than that I am up and walking around, contemplating a shower and they are thinking that I will be going home today. The only annoying part???? They weighed me this morning and I gain 5lbs overnight.

I'm doing well so far I'm down a total of 21 pounds since my surgery date and 33 lbs since I started with the consultation. I'm supposed to be on the soft food stage but I'm not even getting down enough fluids yet so I'm not pushing it especially since it's really uncomfortable to even eat 2 oz of soft pureed soup. I feel good though, plenty of energy, minimal dizzy spells and getting down my vitamins and sleeping when I'm tired. Everyone in my house currently has the stomach flu so I'm just trying my hardest not to catch that since it could very easily put me in the hospital.

Congrats on the stall being over!!