LifetimeLoser

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.
 
I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.
 
I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.
 
I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.
 
So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.

First off, I don't believe in being coddled. I understand people post on forums because they are looking for moral support or advice, but sometimes they expect too much. What I mean to say is if someone posts on a forum, then they need to expect to be supported even if it means being challenged! I can understand if the person posting is doing everything right to a tee and still not losing weight or hitting stalls, then yes they do need complete moral support because they are not in control. It might be metabolic, hormonal, genetic etc.
The people I am talking about are those that don't get enough protein in, eat too many carbs, don't exercise enough and then complain on the forums. I see it quite a bit actually and usually just refrain from answering. In general, the same people posting and whining, are the same ones that get offended when others offer constructive criticism on why his or her weight loss has stalled or is slow.
Being coddled will get you know where. If you really are in this to lose weight, then you should be willing to listen to the things you "might" not be doing right. We all know everyone is different, but when it comes to weight loss there is a general trend that works BETTER than other ways. Of course, there is a respectful way of disagreeing. I don't agree with the name calling, or yelling, or the "i did it this way and I lost this much weight". In a recent forum, I witnessed someone trying to tell the original poster that they didn't think what they were doing was working for them and offered advice. He wasn't disrespectful in any way. It just sounded like he disagreed. Well, the original poster got upset and then it all went downhill. It kind of got out of hand and everyone started chiming in. It was like the original poster just wanted to hear things that supported her, and nothing else.
 
I think people just need to understand that sometimes being challenged and having someone disagree with you is in support. Would you want to go to the doctor and have them tell you there is nothing wrong with you just to make you feel better? Wouldn't you want the doctor to help figure out what is wrong with you and what you can do to get better? Granted, most of us are not doctors, but you get what I am saying?
 
Having a vertical sleeve is a very personal experience. Some people get it and lose weight effortlessly. Others have to work harder and try everything possible to lose weight at a faster rate. If you have a question or a concern and post it on a forum, then you must be willing to get responses both agreeing and disagreeing, but all supportive. If you are looking for people who will simply shake his or her head "yes" to everything you say, then make a friend and send private messages. You can live happily in your bubble of only hearing what you want.
 
 
*Note: I am not a "yes" woman. I am going to tell you what I did and what I helped and give you suggestions in a nice way. If I think you are doing something that isn't healthy or could stall your weight loss, then I am going to let you know because I would rather truly help you than watch you struggle and whine and complain. This is the type of friend I am and those are the type of friends I want.

First off, I don't believe in being coddled. I understand people post on forums because they are looking for moral support or advice, but sometimes they expect too much. What I mean to say is if someone posts on a forum, then they need to expect to be supported even if it means being challenged! I can understand if the person posting is doing everything right to a tee and still not losing weight or hitting stalls, then yes they do need complete moral support because they are not in control. It might be metabolic, hormonal, genetic etc.
The people I am talking about are those that don't get enough protein in, eat too many carbs, don't exercise enough and then complain on the forums. I see it quite a bit actually and usually just refrain from answering. In general, the same people posting and whining, are the same ones that get offended when others offer constructive criticism on why his or her weight loss has stalled or is slow.
Being coddled will get you know where. If you really are in this to lose weight, then you should be willing to listen to the things you "might" not be doing right. We all know everyone is different, but when it comes to weight loss there is a general trend that works BETTER than other ways. Of course, there is a respectful way of disagreeing. I don't agree with the name calling, or yelling, or the "i did it this way and I lost this much weight". In a recent forum, I witnessed someone trying to tell the original poster that they didn't think what they were doing was working for them and offered advice. He wasn't disrespectful in any way. It just sounded like he disagreed. Well, the original poster got upset and then it all went downhill. It kind of got out of hand and everyone started chiming in. It was like the original poster just wanted to hear things that supported her, and nothing else.
 
I think people just need to understand that sometimes being challenged and having someone disagree with you is in support. Would you want to go to the doctor and have them tell you there is nothing wrong with you just to make you feel better? Wouldn't you want the doctor to help figure out what is wrong with you and what you can do to get better? Granted, most of us are not doctors, but you get what I am saying?
 
Having a vertical sleeve is a very personal experience. Some people get it and lose weight effortlessly. Others have to work harder and try everything possible to lose weight at a faster rate. If you have a question or a concern and post it on a forum, then you must be willing to get responses both agreeing and disagreeing, but all supportive. If you are looking for people who will simply shake his or her head "yes" to everything you say, then make a friend and send private messages. You can live happily in your bubble of only hearing what you want.
 
 
*Note: I am not a "yes" woman. I am going to tell you what I did and what I helped and give you suggestions in a nice way. If I think you are doing something that isn't healthy or could stall your weight loss, then I am going to let you know because I would rather truly help you than watch you struggle and whine and complain. This is the type of friend I am and those are the type of friends I want.

I haven't blogged for awhile because well...I've been more active and living my life more than I have in the past couple of years.
 
First off I will start with my nsv's. My clothes are way too big now. I had to buy some newer clothes because they were starting to fall off. I also haven't taken a nap in the middle of the day for weeks now. I used to take a nap daily because I was so tired and worn out from just daily life. My weight loss has given me more energy where I can actually make it the full day without taking a nap. I went to the zoo today with my daughter and hubby and I made it around the entire zoo without having to sit down or leave. Before I had surgery, I would make it most of the way through the zoo, but I would be dead tired and my feet would be aching and I would literally have to lie down and take a nap.
 
I have some personal triumphs to share. I have finally succeeded in mastering the no drinking/eating rule half hour before and after. I started setting a timer after my last bite. Only when the timer goes off do I start to drink again. This is huge for me because I was struggling. I also noticed (I've mentioned this before) that I eat less when I am not eating and drinking together.
 
For some reason, the past week I have been even less hungry than I ever was. To give you a rundown, I started eating around 300 calories a day and then when I started exercising it jumped to 800-1000 calories a day. I was more hungry and eating more during this time. Lately, I can barely finish my protein shakes in the morning and I don't feel my hunger at all. My calories have dropped back down to about 500 calories. Does anyone have any ideas about why this is happening? My portions have been unusually small lately, and the only reason my calories have jumped is because I had a few "naughty" things in the past couple of days.
 
 
I am almost 8 weeks post op...this coming wednesday I will be 8 weeks post op. I have hit quite a few stalls as some will call it...well on the scale anyways. I have taken measurements and I have lost inches. I have also went from a size 28 to 24w. I started at 298 (day of surgery) and today I am 270lbs. I have been working out at least 4 days a week, getting my water, and protein in. I have only had things I'm not supposed to twice since surgery. I am hoping that I actually gained muscle during my workouts because I have been lifting a lot. So I am not complaining just yet...I will wait until I see my fitness trainer and get my fat % measured.
 
On another note...about the naughty foods I had. I had maybe about a tablespoon of frosting off of my daughter's frosting today (I feel really gross and wish I didn't eat it...actually regretting it now and I had some a few weeks back and said I would never eat it again...I thought it would be okay because everything else I eat doesn't make me feel yucky) and I immediately felt sick. I had homemade frosting about 4 weeks ago and I also felt really yucky afterwards. Do you think it is the high sugar or high fat that is making me feel crappy afterwards??? I don't eat naughty things often. I think I have had sugar 3 times since surgery. When I say 3 times...it was literally a spoonful of something sweet. Besides those three days my carbs are usually below 50grams. I like them lower, but my NUT does not agree and wants me to get less than 100g a day and wants me to add more fiber etc. I haven't had any fried food yet.
Does anyone have recommendations for recipes if I do get a sweet tooth? I get them every so often and usually have the motivation to stay away. I am literally surrounded by it because I have to take care of my 3 year old. Any suggestions would be great!

I first want to give a shout out to JennJitters for inspiring me to write this blog. I saw a blog she put out where she listed all the things she wanted to do when she lost the weight and I wanted to do the same thing. I am one week post op today and I wanted a list of things that I could look back on in 9 months or a year and say "yes! I did that"
 
You don't have to read all the way through, It will probably be a fairly long list because there are allot of things I want to be able to do. This is mostly just for me but I am willing to share it because I know that you all probably feel the same way about most of these things...
Learn how to rock climb
Hike and summit any mountain I feel like (I love the Olympics)
Go horseback riding and not feel like I'm killing the horse
Have children and be able to play with them
Be in shape for the first time in my life
Walk into a room and not think everyone is staring at me because I'm big
Have my first ever Valentines Day date
Take the stairs not wishing there was an elevator
Be able to get cloths at any store without wondering if they have my size
Ware cloths in the single digits
Be confident in myself
Fit in the rides at the fair.. I love rides!
Ware a bikini and feel good about it
Learn how to snowboard
Be able to buy shews that are not "wide"
Be able to ware high heal shoes for more than 20 minutes without being in pain
Sky dive! Oh yes I really want to do this! lol
Have a man pick me up
Not be controlled by food
Eat to live not live to eat
Buy longerie and feel good wearing it
Be able to have pretty panties that are not hidden under a roll
Be able to share cloths with my sister (she has the coolest cloths!)
Take full body pictures and not hate them
Have only one size of cloths in my closet (not 5 different sizes depending on what diet I am on this week)
Be comfortable in a normal size sleeping bag
Go to the gym and not be self conscious
To be able to fit comfortably on an airplane
To be able to do a hand stand... why not?
To be able to do advanced yoga
Get a tattoo
Fit in a playground swing without hurting my hips
To feel sexy

Now lets see how long it takes to mark off a few of these

Someone asked for a recent picture - the first is 1-1-11 at my daughter's wedding, 8 months before surgery, a week before I went to the orientation. The second is from this past Saturday, my younger daughter's 18th birthday 3-16-13

I joined the gym on monday and have been going consistently since then. It has made me extremely tired and I have finally felt my hunger again. It has definitely been a difficult past few days. I'm tired, hungry, and I think I am dehydrated.
 
I still have some things to work on as far as eating goes. I go too long without eating and let myself get famished. By the time I eat, I am so hungry that I kind of want to just stuff my face. Of course I can't, so what I end up doing is taking a huge bite (and then I remember and get afraid) and slowly chew and every once in awhile I will swallow. I have to work on eating every 2-3 hours. I know it isn't an excuse, but sometimes I get so busy that I don't get a chance to.
 
The other thing I am failing on is giving my body enough water. I get my recommended dose, but I don't think it is enough. I still feel thirsty. I haven't really been carrying around a water bottle all day which is what I think I need to do.
 
Oh and I definitely still need to work on my half hour before and after no drinking rule. I am getting better, but it is sooooo hard.
 
Well, back to the hunger. I keep feeling hungry and not quite satisfied. Except today (because I ate some chicken at chili's) I have been averaging about 600 calories...so I haven't necessarily been eating more food. I really think it is the cardio and weight lifting that is making me feel like I need more food because my belly feels full, but just doesn't feel like it is enough.
 
I am going to put more effort into drinking water ALL day long instead of what is convenient. I am hoping this puts a dent in things.

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.
 
I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.
 
I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.
 
I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.
 
So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.
 
I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.
 
I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.
 
I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.
 
So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.
 
I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.
 
I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.
 
I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.
 
So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.
 
I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.
 
I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.
 
I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.
 
So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.

I had my first experience with getting the slimes a few days ago. I had eaten a little too much in hopes of trying to get a little more calories and protein in for the day. I wasn't all that hungry. In fact, I'm never really all that hungry. I find I am less hungry at 4 weeks post op than I was at 2. It is probably because I am eating denser food which takes time to digest, but it is a weird feeling. I go basicaly the whole day without really feeling hungry. Yesterday, it took me 5 hours to nurse down my protein shake! Some days are better than others. Most mornings I can just drink the whole thing down in like half an hour.
 
Well, I vowed that I would never eat too much again because the slimes is not an experience I wanted to have again. Fast forward a few days AND I GOT THEM AGAIN!!!
 
This time it was because I think I ate too fast. I was eating some slivers of pecorino romano. Everything felt fine. I didn't feel anything stuck in my throat, my belly didn't feel full at all. I thought it was the easiest thing do go down I've tried so far. Maybe that was the problem...it was too easy going down. Sure enough, maybe 20 minutes later my mouth started salivating and I started "dry heaving" so I ran to the bathroom. I stayed there for awhile while I "almost" puked. Just to put it in perspective, I've always had a problem with puking...meaning my body doesn't like to give it up. Even in my college days, when I used to party all the time I could never puke. I would get sick and dry heave, but never puke! I want to puke because I know it will feel better after I do, but it just never works out that way. So I always get the dry heaves without the vomit...and it is extremely annoying. I think I've puked twice in the past 20 years. One of those times was when I had extreme food poisoning. After about 20 minutes of being in the bathroom, I felt a little better. I went back to my room and sat on the bed. And then burp! And after that burp I felt sooo much better.
 
I vowed I would never slime again, but I realized I don't have this all figured out yet. I've been eating healthy, getting my protein and water in etc. The cheese I ate was pretty healthy, but maybe it was too dense for this belly. I haven't had any problems with any of the food that I have eaten thus far. My taste buds haven't changed. The same food that I ate before still looks delicious to me. I think the difference is I don't have that hunger to push me over the edge where I reach for it and put it in my mouth. I kind of just walk past it and say, "that looks yummy." I'm struggling to get in 600 calories a day and 80 grams of protein so I am not at all tempted to eat something that isn't going to fuel my weight loss.
 
So what I've learned?
1. Even if a food goes down easily I should still eat slooooowwwwwwwww.
2. I don't have everything figured out yet. I'm probably going to make a few more mistakes
3. Don't force myself to eat more if I'm not hungry...even if my calories have to suffer for a day (I'd rather listen to my body)
4. I haven't tried every food yet...there might be something my tummy doesn't like despite the good luck I've had thus far
5. I HATE SLIMING. IT'S NASTY!
6. I have to find my own way. I can always seek advice and see other people's stats and what worked for them, but each person is different and I have to find what works for me.
 
 
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”
― Heraclitus
 
“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.”
― Walt Whitman

I had my first experience with getting the slimes a few days ago. I had eaten a little too much in hopes of trying to get a little more calories and protein in for the day. I wasn't all that hungry. In fact, I'm never really all that hungry. I find I am less hungry at 4 weeks post op than I was at 2. It is probably because I am eating denser food which takes time to digest, but it is a weird feeling. I go basicaly the whole day without really feeling hungry. Yesterday, it took me 5 hours to nurse down my protein shake! Some days are better than others. Most mornings I can just drink the whole thing down in like half an hour.
 
Well, I vowed that I would never eat too much again because the slimes is not an experience I wanted to have again. Fast forward a few days AND I GOT THEM AGAIN!!!
 
This time it was because I think I ate too fast. I was eating some slivers of pecorino romano. Everything felt fine. I didn't feel anything stuck in my throat, my belly didn't feel full at all. I thought it was the easiest thing do go down I've tried so far. Maybe that was the problem...it was too easy going down. Sure enough, maybe 20 minutes later my mouth started salivating and I started "dry heaving" so I ran to the bathroom. I stayed there for awhile while I "almost" puked. Just to put it in perspective, I've always had a problem with puking...meaning my body doesn't like to give it up. Even in my college days, when I used to party all the time I could never puke. I would get sick and dry heave, but never puke! I want to puke because I know it will feel better after I do, but it just never works out that way. So I always get the dry heaves without the vomit...and it is extremely annoying. I think I've puked twice in the past 20 years. One of those times was when I had extreme food poisoning. After about 20 minutes of being in the bathroom, I felt a little better. I went back to my room and sat on the bed. And then burp! And after that burp I felt sooo much better.
 
I vowed I would never slime again, but I realized I don't have this all figured out yet. I've been eating healthy, getting my protein and water in etc. The cheese I ate was pretty healthy, but maybe it was too dense for this belly. I haven't had any problems with any of the food that I have eaten thus far. My taste buds haven't changed. The same food that I ate before still looks delicious to me. I think the difference is I don't have that hunger to push me over the edge where I reach for it and put it in my mouth. I kind of just walk past it and say, "that looks yummy." I'm struggling to get in 600 calories a day and 80 grams of protein so I am not at all tempted to eat something that isn't going to fuel my weight loss.
 
So what I've learned?
1. Even if a food goes down easily I should still eat slooooowwwwwwwww.
2. I don't have everything figured out yet. I'm probably going to make a few more mistakes
3. Don't force myself to eat more if I'm not hungry...even if my calories have to suffer for a day (I'd rather listen to my body)
4. I haven't tried every food yet...there might be something my tummy doesn't like despite the good luck I've had thus far
5. I HATE SLIMING. IT'S NASTY!
6. I have to find my own way. I can always seek advice and see other people's stats and what worked for them, but each person is different and I have to find what works for me.
 
 
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”
― Heraclitus
 
“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.”
― Walt Whitman

Here ya go!

I thought I should write a follow-up not only for those who are reading this but for continuity when I reflect back on this journey.
 
Today I walked into a meeting with a physician who knew nothing about me, nothing about my choices and why I have made the choices I have and why this is the road I am taking. It was not a meeting I was looking forward to. But I took the position that I have a strong belief in which is, "Knowledge is Power". I had the knowledge so I had all the power. The dr. walked in and I made sure I was open pleasant and not defensive and open to what he had to say. He started off trying to talk to me about the bad choices I had made in my life (and yes those were his words). I didn't flinch I let him finish and then I went to town. I basically took this man to school (in a good way lol). My first question was if he was aware of the procedure I was wanting and if he had any experience with patient who wanted them. He said he knew of this "experimental" procedure and its risks. Well I knew right there by his answer he had no idea. So we talked for the better part of an hour and you know what, he had no idea what the sleeve was he thought it was a the DS Switch. After we talked he took my hand and told me that he wished that every patient he saw was as sure of what they wanted and needed in their life, and he said he would do whatever he could to help me succeed. WOW, I was blown away. From frenemy to friends just like that!
 
Yet again another example that most of those opposed to us are just lacking the information that we already have. One step closer and I ready for every one of them, bring 'em on.

Ok, get your minds out of the gutter! This is just to show anyone that cares what the scars from surgery can look like at 8 weeks. The biggest scar is where they pulled the stomach leftovers out during surgery and it's about 2 inches long, the rest could be covered with a dime.
 
You'd think after 12 years of experience, my doctor could put the scars in a more creative layout! At least he could have tried to make a happy face or something.

So I decided today that I would give in to my hubby's complaining. We went to Ihop for breakfast with my 2 year old daughter. I knew how much I could eat so I was trying real hard to think of a way of ordering that would save us money and not waste a lot of food. I am 3.5 weeks post op and on soft foods. I knew I wanted an omelette, but the price was $15.99 for an omelet AND it came with all this other stuff like pancakes and hash browns. So I asked the waitress if I could get it without all that stuff (meaning...like as a side order) and she said yes.
 
Well...fast forward 30 minutes and the bill comes and I still was charged the $15.99!!! She said there was no other way to ring it up. Ugh...that was sort of what I was asking! I know I wasn't very clear on that, but I figured it was common sense that of course I could order something and tell them to hold them, but pay the same price.
 
Anyways, lesson learned. I ate about an eighth of my omelet (which was yummy) and told the waitress (at the end of my meal) that since I had to pay for it, then I would just take it to go. I took them to my mom so she could enjoy the pancakes. So I don't really know if I will be eating out again anytime soon. It was a huge waste of money and food. I will be eating that omelet for the next few days. On a happier note, my daughter was ecstatic about her pancakes and her sausage which made this mama happy.

So I decided today that I would give in to my hubby's complaining. We went to Ihop for breakfast with my 2 year old daughter. I knew how much I could eat so I was trying real hard to think of a way of ordering that would save us money and not waste a lot of food. I am 3.5 weeks post op and on soft foods. I knew I wanted an omelette, but the price was $15.99 for an omelet AND it came with all this other stuff like pancakes and hash browns. So I asked the waitress if I could get it without all that stuff (meaning...like as a side order) and she said yes.
 
Well...fast forward 30 minutes and the bill comes and I still was charged the $15.99!!! She said there was no other way to ring it up. Ugh...that was sort of what I was asking! I know I wasn't very clear on that, but I figured it was common sense that of course I could order something and tell them to hold them, but pay the same price.
 
Anyways, lesson learned. I ate about an eighth of my omelet (which was yummy) and told the waitress (at the end of my meal) that since I had to pay for it, then I would just take it to go. I took them to my mom so she could enjoy the pancakes. So I don't really know if I will be eating out again anytime soon. It was a huge waste of money and food. I will be eating that omelet for the next few days. On a happier note, my daughter was ecstatic about her pancakes and her sausage which made this mama happy.

So, as the title suggests, I am totally freaking frustrated!!! I am almost 3 weeks post op. The first week went well...I lost 10 pounds. Then I hit a stall for about a week and then a couple of days ago the scale started moving down again. I was feeling happy that I had ended my first stall and then bam I gained 2 pounds! I mean I am doing everything that I am supposed to. I use myfitnesspal religiously. I use my fit bit. I have been exercising more now than in the past year. I eat right and drink right. Intellectually, I understand what happens when we stall or gain weight for that matter when our bodies are in the process of losing weight. I've read many articles about converting glycogen, how I might be losing size and not weight, how getting smaller doesn't translate into the scale moving downward. Intellectually and logically I understand and I get it, but emotionally it is too much.
 
So since my life is about moderation and restriction now...I've decided to put the scale away and only weight once a week on Thursday mornings. I found an old tape measure and will also begin taking my measurements. Oh how I wish I took my measurements before hand...it might have saved me some heart ache.
 
Well that was in the past and now....MOVING ON. I am still on my pureed stage which is going perfectly well. Yesterday was a good day. I actually got 600 calories in, which is amazing for me! I do think I need to get more calories and carbs in everyday. It seems kind of low.
 
ON A SPECIAL NOTE. I URGE ANYONE THAT IS PRE-OP OR JUST BEGINNING TO TAKE BEFORE PICTURES. I KNOW IT IS DIFFICULT TO SEE YOURSELF ON A PHOTO, BUT DO IT!!! ALSO, TAKE YOUR MEASUREMENTS SO WHEN YOU HIT THOSE STALLS YOU CAN AT LEAST GET SOME PEACE OF MIND BY MEASURING YOURSELF.
 
I TOOK BEFORE PHOTOS (WHICH I HAVEN'T POSTED YET BECAUSE I WANT A COMPARISON PHOTO), BUT I SOOOOOO WISH I HAD TAKEN MY MEASUREMENTS.
 
IT WILL BE HARD TO FACE THOSE NUMBERS, BUT WHEN YOU ARE LOSING YOU WILL BE SOOOOO HAPPY YOU DID.

Well,
I have hit my first "stall". It has been approximately 5 days since the scale has budged. Yes, yes, I know...don't look at the scale. I keep trying to remember that stalls happen and that I'm probably still losing in size, but it is still depressing to see the same number on the scale every day. I try to logic it out in my head. Like...I'm only eating less than 400 calories a day...there is NO WAY that I can't be getting smaller. I've also read a few good threads on here about what happens physically in your body when you are losing weight. So I understand that I'm probably still losing inches, but I want to see the numbers! I wish I would have taken my measurements prior to surgery. I guess never too late to start.
 
Today was my first day with pureed food! I have been looking forward to this for about a week now. Liquid diets make you soooo sick of liquid diets. I pureed some beef stew with some greek yogurt and that was pretty tasty. I also pureed some chicken in the can with some greek yogurt and some fresh cracked pepper. It looked absolutely disgusting, but tasted yummy. So I am excited about this new stage of food because it actually tastes like food. I was getting pretty sick of all the sweet tasting liquids that I was required to drink. I just keep trying to remind myself that pureed food is the same as eating regular food except my body doesn't have to work as hard. Thinking this way helps me get down the gross looking "meals".
 
I'm still not totally pain free. I still have some pain on the left side of my abdomen. I did call the nurse today just to make sure because everyone else seems to be pain free at this stage. I am confident nothing is wrong. I think it has to do with how many incisions I had and maybe the layers he went through. I really wish it would go away though because I want to up my exercise routine. I am kind of sick of just walking.

Aloha everyone,
 
I am currently approximately 36 hours post op.
 
My surgery was schedule for 2:45pm (Hawaii time) on Wednesday, January 30th, 2013. My husband and I arrived at Castle Hospital at 1pm, but was told things were running behind and the lady scheduled before me hadn't even gone in yet. It was a little after 4pm that I was finally rolled in. As far as I can tell, I was in surgery until about 630pm.
 
As soon as I got to the hospital, the nurse had me check in, get undressed and lay down on one of the beds. Then I met the anesthesiologist. As I was waiting, they asked me a bunch of questions and started my iv. My iv had to be done in my wrist...I am always a tricky one when it comes to my veins. I don't really know if I was just tired, but a few hours with the iv I felt kind of silly to put it is the only way I can think of it.
 
I was pretty excited going in there and my husband was a nervous wreck. That was not a surprise though. I tend to be the positive one and he is the negative nancy, although he says he is "realistic". I had no anxiety at all while I was waiting. My husband was allowed to wait with me and we just did crossword puzzles or read magazines or played with our phones.
 
I remember waking up and hearing, "you did really well. The dr. is very happy with how things went." I did no feel very well. It was very foggy. I didn't really know what was going on. I am not sure what time I woke up or was rolled to my room or anything like that.
 
I remember waking up and feeling pain. It was all in my belly area. Maybe I am not used to pain in my abdominal area, but it hurt for me. It feels like when you have a bruise, but much worse. They kept giving me morphine. I was allowed to have it every hour if I wanted it, but I kept falling asleep so I would say I got it every 4 hours. My head was foggy still afterwards. Actually, now that I think about it my head is still a little foggy. I'm a little forgetful right now.
 
I never changed out of my hospital gown...so I don't even know why I packed a bag. Honestly, all you need is chapstick and maybe music. I brought my preggo pillow which I definitely used. I also found it helpful to sit up. I didn't want to lay down. I think it was helping with the gas in my body. I had gas, but it felt like it was mostly in my belly. I had no shoulder pain like others have reported.
 
Even when I got home, I wanted to be propped up. Last night, I actually put pillows under my belly and slept on my stomach!!! I haven't slept on my stomach in 5+ years. The pressure seemed to make me feel better. Today I finally farted!!! I know that is silly, but I wanted to fart so bad, but couldn't. I was so jealous of my husband who just kept letting it rip! I haven't had a bowel movement yet.
 
I would definitely say the first 3 days are the hardest. I was considered to be in the "doing extremely well" category so I don't know how people do it when they have complications. Waking up from surgery definitely sucks. I kept thinking, "what the hell did I do to myself". Those thoughts are short lived because not even 4 days later it is bearable and I am excited to make progress.
 
I can tell you that the first couple of days I mostly slept. The tiredness would just hit me out of nowhere. It was extremely hard to get in my liquids...I think mostly because I was sleeping. Even when I was up it was hard work. It is hard work to drink that 4 oz. every hour. You have to work at it. They wanted me to be on clear liquids the first 2 post op days and get in between 48 and 64 oz and 80grams of protein. They did tell me not to worry too much if I couldn't because I would still have lots of fluids in me from the Iv. I am pretty determined to make my goals because I want to do this right, but it seems my whole day is consumed with trying to get my liquids in. Today I have drank a whole 24 oz and reached 40grams of protein, and that was damn hard. I did take a multi-vitamin today with no problems.
 
I've been lucky with the nausea, but I play it on the safe side. I do not push anything and take very small sips. I do not want to vomit! I pretty much hate vomiting. The fullness feeling everyone talks about...I'm still trying to figure it out. When I drink it feels a little like I have to burp and then I burp.
 
These are what they require me to do post op for a week or longer:
1. Take nexium once a day
2. Use my spirometer
3. Go walking
4. Drink 80 grams of protein
5. Drink at least 64 oz of liquid
6. take my multi-vitamin 3x daily
 
Oh and lastly...what I do not like the most is the strange body odors. It is pretty wretched. As soon as I could take a shower, I was in there washing it off. Well, it does return.

So my pound loss hasn't been that speedy as I've mentioned in my other posts, but I still have much to be grateful for. My pants are much looser...which feels good. I have more energy, and I am able to do more cardio in a day. I've also noticed that my belly is finally smaller than my boobs!!! I haven't seen this happen in almost 3 years!
 
Today I took my measurements in hopes of having a comparison for the future during my weight loss stalls.
 
I am still excited about my new journey and I am still happy about my decision.

So I am down to 289 lbs!!! I haven't been this weight since a year ago! I can't believe in the past 3 weeks I went from 311 to 289! That is crazy! I am very happy already that I have gone through with this. I have my one week appointment tomorrow and shall see what the doctor says!
 
I haven't even really been exercising. I have been going walking once a day, but that is more for the gas pains. I still get very exhausted doing things even just my household chores. All in all, I am very happy with my progress. Those thoughts of "what the hell did I do to myself" the first days of surgery are loooooonnngg gone.

So, as the title suggests, I am totally freaking frustrated!!! I am almost 3 weeks post op. The first week went well...I lost 10 pounds. Then I hit a stall for about a week and then a couple of days ago the scale started moving down again. I was feeling happy that I had ended my first stall and then bam I gained 2 pounds! I mean I am doing everything that I am supposed to. I use myfitnesspal religiously. I use my fit bit. I have been exercising more now than in the past year. I eat right and drink right. Intellectually, I understand what happens when we stall or gain weight for that matter when our bodies are in the process of losing weight. I've read many articles about converting glycogen, how I might be losing size and not weight, how getting smaller doesn't translate into the scale moving downward. Intellectually and logically I understand and I get it, but emotionally it is too much.
 
So since my life is about moderation and restriction now...I've decided to put the scale away and only weight once a week on Thursday mornings. I found an old tape measure and will also begin taking my measurements. Oh how I wish I took my measurements before hand...it might have saved me some heart ache.
 
Well that was in the past and now....MOVING ON. I am still on my pureed stage which is going perfectly well. Yesterday was a good day. I actually got 600 calories in, which is amazing for me! I do think I need to get more calories and carbs in everyday. It seems kind of low.
 
ON A SPECIAL NOTE. I URGE ANYONE THAT IS PRE-OP OR JUST BEGINNING TO TAKE BEFORE PICTURES. I KNOW IT IS DIFFICULT TO SEE YOURSELF ON A PHOTO, BUT DO IT!!! ALSO, TAKE YOUR MEASUREMENTS SO WHEN YOU HIT THOSE STALLS YOU CAN AT LEAST GET SOME PEACE OF MIND BY MEASURING YOURSELF.
 
I TOOK BEFORE PHOTOS (WHICH I HAVEN'T POSTED YET BECAUSE I WANT A COMPARISON PHOTO), BUT I SOOOOOO WISH I HAD TAKEN MY MEASUREMENTS.
 
IT WILL BE HARD TO FACE THOSE NUMBERS, BUT WHEN YOU ARE LOSING YOU WILL BE SOOOOO HAPPY YOU DID.

So, as the title suggests, I am totally freaking frustrated!!! I am almost 3 weeks post op. The first week went well...I lost 10 pounds. Then I hit a stall for about a week and then a couple of days ago the scale started moving down again. I was feeling happy that I had ended my first stall and then bam I gained 2 pounds! I mean I am doing everything that I am supposed to. I use myfitnesspal religiously. I use my fit bit. I have been exercising more now than in the past year. I eat right and drink right. Intellectually, I understand what happens when we stall or gain weight for that matter when our bodies are in the process of losing weight. I've read many articles about converting glycogen, how I might be losing size and not weight, how getting smaller doesn't translate into the scale moving downward. Intellectually and logically I understand and I get it, but emotionally it is too much.
 
So since my life is about moderation and restriction now...I've decided to put the scale away and only weight once a week on Thursday mornings. I found an old tape measure and will also begin taking my measurements. Oh how I wish I took my measurements before hand...it might have saved me some heart ache.
 
Well that was in the past and now....MOVING ON. I am still on my pureed stage which is going perfectly well. Yesterday was a good day. I actually got 600 calories in, which is amazing for me! I do think I need to get more calories and carbs in everyday. It seems kind of low.
 
ON A SPECIAL NOTE. I URGE ANYONE THAT IS PRE-OP OR JUST BEGINNING TO TAKE BEFORE PICTURES. I KNOW IT IS DIFFICULT TO SEE YOURSELF ON A PHOTO, BUT DO IT!!! ALSO, TAKE YOUR MEASUREMENTS SO WHEN YOU HIT THOSE STALLS YOU CAN AT LEAST GET SOME PEACE OF MIND BY MEASURING YOURSELF.
 
I TOOK BEFORE PHOTOS (WHICH I HAVEN'T POSTED YET BECAUSE I WANT A COMPARISON PHOTO), BUT I SOOOOOO WISH I HAD TAKEN MY MEASUREMENTS.
 
IT WILL BE HARD TO FACE THOSE NUMBERS, BUT WHEN YOU ARE LOSING YOU WILL BE SOOOOO HAPPY YOU DID.