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This is my first blog ever and it is on my journey to a new life. A life without pain each morning, when I wake up because half of my body when numb, because of my weight. Knowing that my first thought will not be “I will need lots of caffeine today to stay awake because I had trouble sleeping from tossing and turning and having trouble rolling over, or because I was snoring so loud I woke myself up”. Dreading what I am going to wear and will it fit today or have I out grown it. Thinking to myself am I going to make a mistake at work today because I cannot focus because my clothes are too tight. These are the things that I think about before I even get out of bed in the morning. I am so tired of these thoughts. There are many more that happen throughout the day.
To help me with all the issues listed and many more I have decided to get the gastric sleeve. I have been to the orientation and got all the information and went to the free consultation to find out if I qualify for the surgery, and I do. At the free consultation I received a free body analysis where I found out a lot about my body that I did not know. My extremities weights are torso (head to stomach) 67.2 pounds, right arm is 8.82 pounds, left arm 8.22 pounds, right leg 21.34 pounds and the left at 21.25 at this time I weighed in at 263.9. My BMI was 40.1. My lean muscle was at 142.6 and my body fat mass was 121.3 pounds. Since this weigh in on 11/12/12, I have gained much more. I currently weight on my scale at home (which is always 5 pounds less than the Doctors office) said 275.6 pounds I have gained 11 pounds since then. I believe it is because I quit smoking and snack more at night, and have not tried a new yo-yo style diet. I am waiting for the surgery. Figure I better enjoy it now because soon I will not be able to.
Today was different I did not want to enjoy eating large amounts of food. I wanted the weight loss to start. I only have a few clothes that fit me that I feel comfortable in to go to work that I am feeling depressed. I recently thought it was because of the holiday season, but it was not. It was me tired of being tired of being FAT. I am ready to get this weight off and I need all the help I can get. If that means major surgery; than that is the extreme in need to do. I am making the call on Monday December 31, to schedule my consultation with the surgeon to get it started. I am afraid of all the things that can go wrong, but I want a longer more for filling life than the one I have know. I am getting tired and could go on and on about how I feel. I am in hopes that I will keep the blog up and I am wanting to do one on youtube so that my family can see me and my weight loss, and maybe help them and others like me that struggle daily with food.
Tata for now.

July 30th....the day of my new me......
 
Well allow me to share a little insight.....
 
 
Well I'v done it....I have walk the desert (as my mason friends would say)....Let me tell you it was a journey that no matter how I prepared...I was not prepared for. I stayed away from the boards purposely, because I did not want to frighten or speak negatively on the surgery. It was very difficult initially because of the medical problems I had to endure (one of which, is being unable to take pain medication). Had I gotten online initially I would have screamed the horrors of this God Forsaken surgery and who....with any intelligence at all would succumb to this beast called the SLEEVE!!!!
 
But now 45 days away from the faithful day called "surgery" I am happy, I am smiling, I am learning, and creating new ways for myself....I have not been so happy....yes I have stalled, and yes I have slimed, yes I have had the lump in my chest that seems to want to explode...I have passed the rabbit pellets, and I have had many a day of laugher on how my body has responded to what is happening to it.....BUT...
 
I am so glad to have made this decision. Each day is a step into sunshine, sometimes with a few clouds....but even those clouds are beautiful now...and I will peer into them and make shapes out of those puffy marshmellows, instead of endulging in the doldrumsss......The feeling of achieving a goal and starting a new one is so amazing to me at this age....(okay not that I'm old) but sometimes we forget that the new wonders surrounding us on a daily basis. I have slipped into some old jeans (yep some sergio's that is no longer any where near style but)....WHAT A THRILL....
 
Who would have thought....the diva in me would escape again.....im loving it ...my children are loving it ....and my love is totally estactic....I have always smiled brightly ...but right now my smile can equate to a solar flare....just 45 pounds....what the hell is gonna happen when I hit 60, never mind whats gonna happen when i finally slip under 200.....watch out now......world get ready.....Im here to take over....
 
My growth has been in the worst times....when those scars would not heal....when the thought of one more bite of mash potatoes or apple sauce would turn me into a ingnorant maniac....but all of the sudden I remember the feeling of going through the hell called basic training....or the hell called breast cancer .....shoot even the hell of raising two teenagers who knew everything in the world and thought I belonged in a (well never mind I divest)...Each and everyone of those journeys has brought more pride and and feeling of empowerment to my journey.....well guess what ....I'M BACKCKKK....and this new road or shall I say adventure... will will bring me out of it like a shine piece of steel put through the fire and well tested....I say...bring life on...I am so readyyyyyy!!!!

Fantastic week. Long but busy and active. I feel GREAT since my surgery... really. Last night I actually almost ran up my steps. It usually takes me a minute to get up or down the stairs. My knees already don't hurt and that's worth the cost of surgery right there.
 
My numbers:
Highest weight- 273 in March 2012
Day of surgery weight 250
Week 1 weigh in: 241.4
Loss: 8.6 lbs
 
I am THRILLED with that number! I will be in the 230's next week! WOOOOT!
 
NSV's: I like the way my doc did my insicions, to where they're not in my bra line at all. Most are at or below my waist, one at my breast bone so I've been wearing my regular Lane Bryant underwire bras. I couldn't hang with the sports bras. The UniBoob just wasn't happening. Anyway, I feel like my band might be a bit loose and the bra is pulled as tightly as possible. It'd be nice to get rid of these G cup mamas.
 
My size 22 jeans need to be retired. Already. I felt like they might actually fall down the other day. My size 20's, which I haven't been able to wear for a while, fit just fine. Not tight, not cutting off circulation, they zip right up.
 
Like I said earlier, steps are no issue right now. I still get a backache from shopping, etc so can't wait until that goes away.
 
Overall I am THRILLED.

Hello Everyone and thanks for taking a moment to read my blog.
I'm Zazilia, married, no children 33 years old.
On December 2009 I decided to get the lapband surgery because I was 280 lbs plus I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome) And if I didn't lose weight i had big chances of getting diabetes (I was pre-diabetic) and heart disease due to family history.
Anyways i went for it and got my band put in.... i lost 83 lbs (in about a year).. yay me! however back in that time i was single, lived by myself and had the right food at home at all times.
When 2011 hit (married now) I, as well, hit a huge brick wall and i stopped losing weight. Eventually i started gaining the weight back and right before surgery (last week) i was 241 lbs.
I was so frustrated with myself tried to do as good as i could, adjusted my band up to 7.75 cc's and i often got a pain on my left shoulder due to the lapband.
I started getting everything together for my Sleeve surgery, spoke with my surgeon, and he saw how much i struggled and he approved of me getting the Sleeve, then went through a bunch of pre-surgical testings and sent it to my insurance , after a couple of months of waiting, my insurance finally approved it! (Anthem BCBS)
When i went to my pre-op a week before surgery the nurse saw i was having high blood pressure for the first time which was another motivation to start losing weight again.
She prescribed me dilaudid for pain, zofran for nausea and omeprozole for acid reflux to start taking them once im back home from surgery.
The day before surgery (Monday nov 12th) i was on clear liquids and had nothing to drink after midnight.
Then the day of surgery got here! (Finally!!) (Tuesday 13th) I arrived to the hospital, got registered did a pregnancy urine test then went up to talk to one of the surgical nurses about my health history, then they asked me to changed into my hospital gown and lay on a stretcher and a small room and they set up my IV and gave me an anticoagulant shot on my belly to avoid blood clots.
Spoke with the anesthesiologist and my surgeon to make sure i was calmed and they explained everything that was going to happen.
They took me to the OR and i changed from my bed to another one where they positioned me like a cross. The anesthesiologist gave me a shot through my IV to "get me high" those were his exact words then he gave me oxygen and then he said "ok now im going to give u the good stuff" i said ok guys ''have a goodnight" and i passed out.
Next thing i hear is the nurse in the recovery room telling me to take deep breaths and the first thing that came out of my mouth was : "Holy Crap this hurts where's the morphine" lol they controlled my pain rapidly and took me to my room.
The nurses were so nice to me, even though apparently the anesthesia gives me low tolerance cause i was being very "bitchy" to everyone (My husband made sure he made me aware of it once i was back to my self entirely lol) They checked my vitals every 4 hours, gave me morphine when i needed and i didn't have to wait. I started walking back and forth a couple of hours right after the surgery and i the pain stood minimal.
They gave me little tiny ice cups (about 3 ounces each) and it tasted like glory! since my mouth was as dry as a shoe lol
My biggest struggle after surgery was trying to pee! It was almost impossible because it wouldn't come out! and the nurses told me that was normal due to the anesthesia after that the whole experience wasn't bad at all.
At the next day i felt good enough to go home, i was discharged at 2 pm and came home.
I was instructed to be on clear liquids until today (Sunday) i drank water, diet snapple, sugar free jello and sugar free ice pops. Today i started full liquids and had a "EAS advantage protein shake" which took me about a hour and a half to chug down and some homemade chicken broth.
Am I hungry? Absolutely not! Do i crave to eat everything even the inedible YES like my friend who had the sleeve done years ago and went from a size 22 to a size 2 told me, "they operate your stomach however the don't operate your mind"
I weigh myself today and i am down 12 lbs in less than a week! So i hope i can continue being successful!
I will continue to post updates of my journey as a "Sleever" and hope it helped someone out there!
Thanks

Day 151: Too Normal
 
This morning I weighed in at 185.2lbs and then I walked into my closet and stared at the emptiness. My closet is EMPTY. I literally cannot wear anything I was wearing five months ago. Well, at least not unless I'm going for the baggy look.
 
I'm so surprised that I've stuck with it. I'm still doing all my protein, getting in all my fluids, taking my vitamins, and exercise is just a part of my life now. But my name is Miss Fickle, I'm known to grow tired of doing the same thing within a matter of weeks or months. I'm just amazed. I've been able to change my habits. Seriously change them. I still worry about the day I let my guard down, but I can't imagine it right now. I do not crave popcorn when I go to theaters, I feel *sick* after just a few tastes of my friend's ice cream (a splurge for me) -- and I'm not sad about it. Real food has never tasted so good to me. And the *fake* foods just do nothing for me now. I have a few bites of pasta, and I'm not jazzed about it like I used to be. Funny thing, I love the smell of the pasta cooking. Some days, I just don't know how I got here. It seems like just yesterday I was waking up from my surgery. It was just last Christmas I was huffing and puffing on my brother's stairs.
 
I have gotten out of the habit of journaling. Not happy about that, but it's been nice to have a break. I got to the point I had almost every meal memorized, so I just stopped. I'd like to get back into it, I know I will. But so long as I'm still losing, I'm not too worried about it. I keep to what I know, only deviating for a bite here and there of special things on rare occasions.
 
It's nice to feel normal again. To not worry when a friend wants to go out, to not panic when I'm going to be gone all day and need to pack snacks. I look at my scars and wonder if it was just a dream?
 
Now, I just need to sell some of these clothes that are taking up all the space in my guest closet before my mom comes to visit!!