IndioGirl55

[quote name='cookielover;629341 She titled her email to me: "You deserve this much..." I titled my email to her: "No this is what I deserve." Here is what I sent: I decided to keep it purple because it made me feel a little better. "Dear...' date='[/color'] I am not mad or upset with you, as I know that you are broken inside. However that does not mean that you have to break me down as well. I care about you so, if watching me get better and healthy is too much for you to handle I can find the courage to let you go. For this is the journey am taking in my life, and I realize it is not for you. I need you to understand in the future when you have a crisis or a problem; I will not have your back. It is no longer "us" against the world; it is only "you" against whatever haunts you. I want you to find all the happiness you deserve, and I pray you start understanding that you deserve more. I have never ended such an important relationship in my life, and my hope is that I never have to do it again. That is why we can not be together anymore. I can not live on the "edge" with you. I don't want to open another email and wonder, "will this be the email that breaks my heart?" So for that and many more reasons I have to say good bye. Thank you for the gut-busting laughs, 2 hour phone conversations, and the memories; I will cherish these things and you forever. Hoping you can find peace and acceptance, Amy" Well I am going out for a long walk. Maybe I can walk away some of this pain. Oh yeah just so you all know on Saturday I went to a party and had an okay time, I have been out for coffee with a friend, joined a gym today, researched joining a theater group, started planning a Christmas open house, and booked two trips for the holiday season to see family. (I am trying to find things to do that are positive.) Now if I could just mustard the strength to clean the bathrooms and vacuum today! Hugs to all of you!:hug: Well said - Glad you sent this - as said before - we are here for you.. :scared::girl_hug::fish:

Amy I agree 100% with want2beme - I know that really doesn't help with the loss of your freind - but was she really ever your true friend a true friend would celebrate your choice to have a healthier life. This is her loss not your - We are here for you and will celebrate with you your journey to live a healthier life. Love & Hugs Janet

Karri Becareful moving that furniture by yourself - you don't want to hurt yourself - I am on vacation for the next 2 week - and i shoud be up cleaning - but just cooled down from my exercise - I get really hot and sweat bucket ... Ya - everyone dose think this is the easy way - they don't understand if you don't make healthy food choicies and exercise - you aren't going to lose... Well I gotta do something - vacum something - so will ck in later Janet

Mistymoon - Ok - you fell off the wagon - but now all you have to do is pick yourself up and get right back on - I am a FIRM believer in keeping a food diary - and I know if i start with sweets I'm just not going to stop - so I just don't start - I have my sf pudding and fudgecicles and they seems to get me through the I want sugar phase - If you can increase your exercise this week - The band is not going to make your food choices for you - you gotta do that - it's not always easy - Food is our drug of choice - so you just gotta say NO to your drug - If you don't have enough restriction get another fill - but with or without restriction you gotta make good food choice - Next time you want candy or dessert think of those grandkids and pictures :scared: maybe that will help. Mistymoon - you can do this !!!! this is a lifestyle change and you have dieted enought in your life to know that once you go back to your old eating habits the weight just piles back on - Pick one day a month to allow your self 1 candy bar or 1 dessert - if you just have to have them. Jill Welcome to the 50+ gang - We are neighbors (well almost when you look at we have people from all over the country here) That's a great idea.... Carol - As stated before and over and over again the band is only a tool you have to make good food choices - food is our drug of choice and for some it they start eating candy or deserts they just keep eating - you can eat around the band even if you are at your sweet spot - Denise has a very slow mebtoblism (sp) so if she is a slow loser - but she knows that making unhealthy food choice isn't helping - If you are like the rest of us we have dieted all our lives - but then we go back to our old eating habits - CAN'T DO IT - What do you consider normal eating ?? Normal eating is 4 oz of meat 1/2 cup starch 1/2 c veggies - that is normal eating - as fat people we don't know what normal is - we eat 2-3 times of what is a normal portion - I would eat 16 oz steak - 1 baked potato (loaded with butter & sour cream) - veggies with tons of butter Garlic bread - salad dripping is dressing - then a couple hours later dessert - this is not normal eating like this is what made me fat... This is a lifetime - lifestyle change - If you want to keep the weight off you will never be able to eat like you use to - because that was not normal - normal is how you will learn to eat with the band by makeing healthy food choices and getting exercise..

Good Morning Gang Salsa :clap2: I heard you :scared: ,... Jackie - Loved the poem NJGrannie - Sorry about your problems - Dini - Have fun in NYC !!! ribearty - Glad work is slowing down Linda - hope the best for your sister - at the party i went to Sat - a girl friend from texas was asking me about the band - cuz this is the 1st they had seen me since surgery - so gave her the scoop - but told her it was only a tool that you really gotta change your eating habits. Brandy - glad you had a great cruise - and only gained 2 lbs - that should come off pretty quickly. Nichole - Congrat on the 40lbs:clap2: Well, dropped the grandkids at school this morning - then hit the gym 4 miles - 1 hr 8 min - I plan on doing this all week cuz I drank Friday & Sat nites.. I hope to be 199 by Turkey day - but who knows - since i did have some liquid carloies this weekend - i haven't been on the scale and don't plan to - Will ck in later -

Kathy - put me down for Level 2 - Glad to hear about your Dad's cancer at least is slow not fast - we gotta look for those little things to help us get thru those tough times. Sunny - glad to hear you are doing better - I eat popcorn - i don't do cracker cuz i love that canned cheese stuff on them or butter - so just don't eat them Hi Felicia - isn't it great to get into a 14 :clap2: - I go to the gym and walk on the treadmill minimum 2 miles in about 34 minutes - i go 4 to 5 times a week and I really think it is what has helpped the most with my weight loss - if you want to eat you gotta exercise - think of the cavemen - that how God our bodies - to hunt for food - not go thru the drive thru Sorry about your job - but a better one will come along... ok Gang i was just cking in - gotta go get dressed for the gym before my hair appointment - and if i don't go now I am not going to have time so will ck in later. Good food chooice for the day ;0) - Put it down you don't need it

Chickie - Put your picture back !!!!!

Well its a good thing you got it done now as cuz I have been reading that if you are too tight it can cause problems like slips or erosions.. I think I am at my sweet spot - I can still eat but not fast and have to chew and I can no longer glup water - I miss that...

Green - Sounds like you and your guy can communicate which is one of the most important parts of any relationship - that and respect.. Sounds like you got both

Carol - Yes just say thank you then proceed to the trash and throw it away - sugar if food from the devil;) I only had 1 week pre-op - My doc provided all the food (price paid in my program fee) - oatmeal - shake - soup and some good protein bars - They only had this god awful tomatoe soup - after 1 day called them and said I can't do this - can i have a 4oz fish & salad or veggies for dinner - they said yes low fat no carbs and controlled protions... So that's what I did...

Thanks Sistah - I am doing the work (eating healthy & exercising)- and feel 1000% better than I did just 4 months ago. I just read over and over again everwher - everyone saying i got .5 - 2.5 whatever # in my band - and I really just don't get it - the doc controls it you don't - i could see if you were doing your own fills but other than that who cares - that's why i asked on this thread - I wanted to know if i was missing something and it was important to know Again - thanks for the props....:biggrin1:

I think it's just easier not to have one at all - I too have always controlled my own $$ - owned my own house - cars etc. My Dad wasn't controlling - in fact he taught me how to be independent. Heck I have been on my own since 16... I used all my sex up when I was younger:eek: - don't even care about that anymore - I talk all day at work so don't want to do that when i get home - I control the remote, do what i want or not depending on how I feel that day... I have had enought drama in my life just don't want it anymore - If a great man fell on my doorstep - I would open the door but I'm not out there looking for him... Green if you love it buy it - who cares if you need it Does it make you happy - will you smile while you wear it - that's what counts.

I have a question... Why does anyone care how much fill they have. What's the purpose in knowing??? All I care about is being at my sweet spot - Which I think I am at after my second fill. All I know is that I have the new band small i think - imho the only numbers I care about are the ones on the scales moving downward...

Sunny - So happy to have you back - and yes being accountable is good thing - I haven't ever been to TOPS - but if it's anything like WW it's will be very good for you... Congrats on the 12 lbs:clap2: Linda - No one is going to get on your case - Maybe he will surprise you for with a treadmill for xmas.... Blooeyez - It will be good to get a little unfill you don't want to hurt yourself by being too tight...

Phyl - Whatelse can I say - Men:paranoid Crabcake - I too wasn't going to buy any clothes until at goal - but I was swimming ins 99% of my clothes - went out this past weekend and bought 9 top 4 pair of pant - Since I still work I really needed some stuff cuz I didn't feel good in my old clothes - Yes got to Walmart Target - Mervin's was haveing a great sale - buy just a couple things - that aren't expensive and I agree - cruises aren't as dressy as they once were unless you are going on a Holland or one of the more ritzy lines. Enjoy your 3 days at sea... Welcome Titslereaux - This is a great group !!!!:Banane20: LBelle - Congrats on getting banded and Welcome :clap2:

Ok gang I want you to know i am having a sliver and i mean sliver of the worlds best choc cake (it's the size of those thin breads by northridge i think 3 1/2 x 3 1/2 1/4 thick..). A girl in our office makes the BEST choc cake (hersery powder) to die for. But you know what - i have only eaten maybe 1/4 and it's really not as good as i remember - I think I will do the " Better in Thee (trash) Than In Me" trick OK YES I JUST THREW IT AWAY :clap2: - I AM STRONG I AM WOMAN Before you all think of me as a Godess - yes i did a good thing - but during the daytime it's easy for me to eat healthy BUT had i had this piece of cake at home during my night time kitchen raid - I most likely would have eaten it all and wanted more....

:biggrin1: Sunshine - I am the food cop (angel) on the Lucky #7 thread !!!!! Put that candy down NOW - you don't need it... Yes I have heard that it can take 2 weeks to feel the fill. If i eat pudding too fast i will pb....

Bonnie - Sorry to hear you are having such troubles - :girl_hug: Well with all your jobs you should be getting enought exercise:eek: I can barely do my job - get in my 30 minimum exercise and deal with my house and I am single w/16 yr grandson.. To Do do your own job - his and the stuff around the house - props to you for being such a strong woman (See what i tell you guys all the time WE ARE STRONG WOMEN - I bet you 10 to 1 a man couldn't:p) Ok gang I want you to know i am having a sliver and i mean sliver of the worlds best choc cake (it's the size of those thin breads by northridge i think 3 1/2 x 3 1/2 1/4 thick... A girl in our office makes the BEST choc cake (hersery powder) to die for.) But you know what - i have only eaten 1/4 and it's really not as good as i remember I think I will do the Better in Thee (trash) Than In Me trick - OK YES I JUST THREW IT AWAY :clap2: - I AM STRONG I AM WOMAN - -

Ya - NMSunshine - that's the whole point of being a grown up - no one telling you what to do...

Salsa I am glad to hear/read that you are going to the doc tomorrow and i applaud your determination too:clap2: Yes - keep us filled in :pabout how your day goes tomorrow... xoxox Janet

My Xdh never knew how much i weighed - there were times when i weighted more than him... and he isn't a skinny guy :omg: As far as anyone temping me - nope - this is the good part of being single - I don't buy it so it's not there - I only go out to eat maybe once every 2 weeks with gf from work. But then again - I don't have anyone at home looking over my shoulder saying "are you suppose to eat that" That - doesn't work for me - just makes me want to eat more.... This is the rebel part of me - please don't tell me not to do it - cuz then i will want to do it just cuz i was told no... OMG I am a 52 yr old brat :heh:

Great work Nichole !!!!! Thanks !!!!

DITTO - I don't like generalizations....

Yes Carol - I will go for my mamo - pap yearly - suppose to have my blood ck'd at 6 months - all the blood was for all the vitimans and then some.. Colon don't have to do for another 5 i think... Beachbon - Congrats on the 100 lbs good - you are an inspiration... Green - I am glad you are doing better and really wish you would change your mind and post pics..