IndioGirl55

Good Evening Gang.. Had a good workout at boot camp tonite - missed going to the show w/Jodi though - she called at 5:30 but I was gone to the gym - My DS called too - left message that I go to the gym too much - I called back and told him that I go to the gym so that I can be a hot 56 yr old Mom - that pple would mistake me for his GF LOL Yep Charlene - Proud you didn't buy any junk !!! Sandy they wanted to much $$ for those doliphin pictures like $80 bucks - we could review them on a kiosk - we took pics of the pic off the kiosk - and they came out just as good and I only had to pay normal printing LOL Great have fun at the shower this weekend Going to meet Jodi for lunch tomorrow !!! My calendar is pretty full this weekend - DS coming in on Thursday - will go buy new bbq on friday - having bbq on Saturday and I have a hair appointment Sat morning - Will have to shop for bbq on Friday - but my DIL will be here to help.. Cheri - You are a beast ;0) Linda - I hear you on classes - I see so many younger ones walking out.. I think you have d one a fantastic job !!!! You have changed !!! You are living the lifetime lifestyle change - your light bulb went off... Be Proud of all that you have done LauraK - looking forward to seeing the family - but by Monday will be glad they are going ;0) Sunday will be good though cuz they will be going to see DIL Mom - so I will have a few hrs of relaxation ;0)

Linda - Pre Happy Band Anniversary !!! Now how can you feel old - I KNOW that 2 yrs later you are feeling 10 yrs younger and have 110% more energy !!!! You go girl - Keep up the good work.. !!! Laura - Yep make the memories while you can !!! Cuz that's all we have.. Ya can't take the $$ with you - enjoy it... Swimming w/the dolphins is a blast - Nels will enjoy it... You don't have to be there everytime- nothing wrong with enjoying your life - I bet your Dad would agree 100% - .. Well back to work

Biker Jon - #1 question - do you want to be fat again - do you want your obesity to limit the quaility of your life - do you want to hopefully add # of years to your life - If the answer is yes to these questions.. Then do what you need to do to get there.. This is a lifetime lifestyle change - it's going to be work for the rest of your life - making healthy food choices - exercising - Realize this - This isn't a diet and if you go back to eating unhealthy and not exercise - the weight will come back on regardless of being banded.. It's ok to indulge everynow and then - but not 24/7 - 365 - cuz that's how we got fat in the 1st place..

Good Morning Peeps LOL Steph on Jeff (food vs exercise) I agree - that keeps me from eating too much cuz I don't want to have to exercise those extra calories Karla - I must have missed the post about church = what happen - to lazy to go back and look for it - shouldn't say lazy - just don't have that much time... Well not much to report since last night - dinner - bed at 9:30 - now another day starts.. Yep cancer sucks...

Good Morning Peeps... Quick ck in before work... Apples - Glad you are relaxing and enjoying yourself - you deserve it.. I love it when I don't have to wake up to an alarm !!! Chris - Glad things are going ok - I bet you are getting bored ;0) sitting around Eva - May have to try that sauce sounds good - Happy Anniversary !!! Not much to report since last night - dinner - t..v. and was in bed by 9:30

Hey Gang ... Drive by - too many to catch up on... Busy at work - 100 email - and this is another short week for me - Kids coming on Thursday - having Family over Saturday for BBQ.. Had gym tonite - had a good workout - Tomorrow boot camp - Wed Legs.. food is good - in fact need to go start dinner - I didn't get to bed til 11 last night and 5 comes real fast - going to try to get to bed earlier tonite..

Good Evening Gang... WTG Steph !!!! Losing weight and subbing !!!!! Think you might go back to teaching !!!! Karla - Listen to the doctor !!!!! I had to balance Ranch accounts to Bro's estate - the accounting that lawyer had from accountant - didn't take into consideration that I had cashed in cd's - then we have collected rents - and I owe bro's estate $$$ - It's just complicated - 3 sets of books sorta of - (3 check books) Candice - I can sip a beer - but the only time a beer sounds good is in the summer time You were right - no biggie on the little bit of pee - hell I have to watch Bella - she's good about going out side - but I step in puddles sometimes - it's all part of dogs - it's the biggest reason - I won't go up to Joseph's now that I have 3 - Bear is excellent - Angel 98% - Bella ?? and they aren't animal pple - so that have to come and see me.. Well busy at work - had tons of emails - and another short weeks - Food good - bf - ck leg and little jerky - Lunch green salad & chick - Snack pt chips - Dinner Lamb/veggies and 1/2 c taters. Had gym tonite - arms - bootcamp tomorrow - Legs on Wed - Kids will be here Thursday.. I'm pooped tonite didn't go to bed till after 11 - up at 5... Candice - I get my mamo every yr... Hugs & Prayers for your friends cancer..

I DID IT - I DID IT - I DID IT I FINALLY GOT THE ESTATE & RANCHES TO BALANCE I Spend most of last weekend working on this - a couple of nites during last week and since Noon today - got done about 8 p.m. Don't ask me how I did it - what I was doing wrong before - I don't know - when I start working w/#'s watch out !!!! Well, went to the gym, stopped to get cat food after wards - groomer was free - so took in all 3 to get pretty came home worked on books - now it's almost time to go to bed... Food today - a couple of chips & guacamole this morning Having lamb veggies & tater for dinner as soon as I get off computer... Sorry about the drive by but I gotta get off this computer I'll catch up tomorrow......

I DID IT - I DID IT - I DID IT I FINALLY GOT THE ESTATE & RANCHES TO BALANCE I Spend most of last weekend working on this - a couple of nites during last week and since Noon today - got done about 8 p.m. Don't ask me how I did it - what I was doing wrong before - I don't know - when I start working w/#'s watch out !!!! Well, went to the gym, stopped to get cat food after wards - groomer was free - so took in all 3 to get pretty came home worked on books - now it's almost time to go to bed... Food today - a couple of chips & guacamole - having lamb veggies & tater for dinner as soon as I get off computer... Sorry about the drive by but I gotta get off this computer I'll catch up tomorrow......

Good Morning Peeps... Had a great time last night - dinner was a little late cuz Jodi couldn't get here till later (saboth) so we never got to dessert - everyone left about 10 ish - As always enjoyed hanging with Phyl & Earl ... Dogs did great - Dassi (Jodi's DD) was just as cute as a bug.. Well started this 1/2 hr ago - dryer went off put that load up now got another one in - washed face - brushed teeth - did face (minimal) combed hair - got gym at 10 - just sat down w/another cup of joe Hugs for all that cold weather - it was 78 yesterday suppose to be 77 today - 54 right now - 80's the rest of the week.. As I was telling Phyl & Earl last nite - don't think we will get any more cold days - our winter is over ;0) - hugs for Linda Karla Candice Steph- couldn't do the cold - can't even imagine -0 ...

Good Morning Gang. Had a wonderful time with Jodi , Dassi (such a beautiful little girl) Phyl & Earl.... dinner was great - but we never got to dessert ;0) Jodi got here around 6:30 ish I guess - we chatted and I cooked the salmon she brought - Dassi played with the dogs - I think we were all so full and ate a little late so dessert just didn't cross our minds., Everyone left around 10 - Jodi going to San Diego today to the Animal Safari place.. Have pictures - but to early to post them ;0) Dogs got me up 5:45 to potty - then Bella is scooting - had poop stuck in her hair so at 6 a.m. before coffee - I'm cleaning butts... Wonderful way to get up !!! Not !!! You gotta understand she hate a bath - wiggles like a caged animal - but got the job done ;0).. Now having my coffee Charlene - Hugs on being in that sandwich - My Aunt fell on her glass table and it broke - lucky she didn't get cut - so yes it's a good idea especially if she's having balance problems Apples - Understand vacation mode ;0) ... We all were talking about the computer last nite - you get on it and then next thing you know 2 hrs is gone and you haven't gotten anything done - Well I already had load in dryer - load in wash - so at least I have started - now lets see if I finish ;0) Eva How bad was the plumber?? How's glimmer this morning.. Great - How's DD doing Julie - hope you are feeling better Sandy - did you get the weekend off LauraK - Any dates this weekend Laura - So what did you end up doing for dinner Cheri - Did you write your artical Linda - has it warmed up... Melissa - How are you doing Meredith - Did you have a good weekend.. Well, need to go see if paper is here - will cbl

Ok gang had to report this - Earl had Phyl email me - to tell me to turn off the sprinklers so that Zoey wouldn't get dirty LOL... It came a little late - sprinklers went off at 1 - but since it's warm - I think most of the water has dried up - except in one place and we all know that's where Zoey is going to head LOL Sitting here drinking a strawberry/lime margarita - hope I don't get heart burn - waiting for Phyl and Earl - they should be here anytime.. Have their wine open and breathing since I don't have an airator ;0)

Yep sounds like you are to tight - As was already said - tiny bites - eat very slowly and chew the heck out of your food.. Are you keeping a food log, are you exercising The band is never going to stop you from eating junk - exercise the gray matter too cuz truly this is where most of our problems lie..

Karla I would love to live at the beach myself - but I want sand not rock ;0) - I guess I'm a southern cali girl ;0) - Love the wrap around porch myself - well there is nothing wrong with dreaming - I'm w/you on quiting current job - but again like you need a job that I would make enough $$$ to support myself.. I'm in the same boat gf - we all are really . Well - got all my shopping done - Menu for tonite - Cheese (reg) /Crackers (lite) - Guacamole & whole grain chips - Wine & strawberry/lime margaritas - Dinner- Fish - Asparagus - Salad - Rice - Dessert - Fresh Fruit bowl - with a side of greek yogurt/cream cheese pudding.. Went to Costco - got a new set of pot's and pan's - I needed them since half the time I am burning up mine cuz I am on the computer and forget about my food cooking - I don't think they were to healthy for me to be cooking in - so at least tonite Dassi can be assured that my pots & pans are kosher LOL. I'm lucky in a sense - I have lived here all my life - so I have pple I know Well dog is bugging me - I need to go fold clothes - will ck back later.

Good Afternoon Well Lori - we don't have Apples junking up the thread - I've been busy.. You haven't posted much either nor has Charlene,... I think life gets in the way sometime - You know those times when you go go go and then the time when you got nothing to do come here and no ones here ;0).. Sandy - to me cuban food is similar to Mexican food never had braizlen - gut to me it's sorta all the same - just a twist - no diff than eating something in the south TX vs TN - you got kanasa city bbq - you got tenn bbq - all american food - with diff variation Eva - Sorry about the drains ugh going to hate to see that bill - Glad you all had a good time at your FNSC.. Poor Glimmer... Hope he's better today.. Laura - We can't shoot snow birds - Phyl is a snow bird LOL but I know what you mean - love the summer time when all the tourist are gone. WTG on the cup cakes !!!! You are learning ;0) ... Well - got all my shopping done - Menu for tonite - cheese (reg) /Crackers (lite) - Guacamole & whole grain chips - Wine & strawberry/lime margaritas - Dinner- Fish - Asparagus - salad - Rice - Dessert - Fresh Fruit bowl - with a side of greek yogurt/cream cheese pudding.. Went to costco - got a new set of pot's and pan's - I needed them since half the time I am burning up mine cuz I am on the computer and forget about my food cooking - I don't think they were to healthy for me to be cooking in - so at least tonite Dassi can be assured that my pots & pans are Kosher LOL.. Cheri - Yep life is precious.. Did you watch that show heavy - well the guy on Monday's show looked a little like my bro Michael who died in 08 - my bro wasn't 600 but got close to 300 - I sat there and cried.. Well think I need to go fold clothes while they are warm - cbl

Good Morning Gang I was so freaking pooped last night that I never made it to the computer.. I had leg work out on Wed - didn't think I worked out that hard but by late yesterday afternoon my legs were killing me - so much that I took some tylenol and rubbed aspercream on my legs.. Had a great day - Had 2 eggs bacon for bf - then started at the top of the outlets (Phyl) where coldwater creek is and the crabtree store) Well we spent the first 3 hrs just in that section - Candy tried on a lot at Coldwater Creek - I got a nice sweater for $12 but doubt I will wear it till next winter and hope I remember I have it LOL.. But the GREATEST NEWS... The outlets now have a CHICO OUTLET. OMG !!! This is where I shopped and Candy did some damage here too since some of the 3 did fit her (she's about 1 x on top 16/18 on the bottom.. I got 1 hoodie - 5 tops, a pair of white jeans and a belt... Spend $100 save $50 - then I get a 5% discount for being a Chico client - Still was a big bill but paid for most of it with the $$$ my boss gave me for Xmas.. We spend the most of our time in this section - Had ice cream for lunch :0) love being a grown up !!! Then hit the Coach section - almost had Candy talked into a Coach purse - would have been $120 with discount - but she had to think about it.. I got a pair of sun glasses - None of the purses caught my eye - I am really liking Bruce Markowski from QVC the leather on his purses are like butter - plus I love his outside cell phone pockets - Didn't really get anything in this section well Candy got some shoes - Like I said by the time we finished at the Ralph Lauren store my legs were killing me.. Came home to a nice clean house - had fish & veggies for dinner - Phyl - I think as some of us get older we get grouchier - less patience.. He just needs to be mindful of this and not bite your head off.. I wouldn't call that lady again - I HATE pple who don't keep appointments - it's why I don't make them at my nail shops - cuz I have and if someone comes in 10 min before you they take them and you have to wait - so I just walk in and normally don't have to wait.. Steph It's ok to have 1 small piece of cake and then throw the rest away ... You can't deny yourself treats - bdays happen and they include cake - 1 piece and thats it - that's how I deal with it - just like yesterday we had ice cream for lunch - but ate good for dinner ... I make deals w/myself all the time.. Karla Hugs on the food issues - I bet you it's mostly in your head - knowing you are unfilled - you are bored & frustrated - big food triggers even if you have fill - you know this - So just munch on carrots or something like that if you can't find a distraction.. Go quilt.. I don't want a laptop - I have my bro's and it's ok in a pinch but like the feel of a reg pc don't ask me why I just need a tower - I don't need a screen - got one last yr for xmas I think it's 23 inch - Maybe Sunday I will ck out best buy & costco.. Well Phyl & Earl & Zoey coming for dinner tonite - along with our friend Jodi & her DD who are from my mentor thread - and they are from NYC - Jewish.. She's bringing fish as DD will only eat kosher - Phyl bringing wine ;0) and I am doing dessert - Veggies and Salad - gotta find a kosher dessert ;0) gotta to to Trader Joe's or Ralphs - I know they carry kosher food.. Well that's about it - Candice where are you - Linda how are things you are in my prayers.. cbl

Good Morning Gang... Had a great day shopping yesterday - My gf got some stuff from Coldwater - I got a nice sweater for $12 most likely won't be wearing it till next winter.. Sorry peeps but our weather is beautiful ... They opened a Chico outlet !!!! I bought 1 hoodie and 5 tops and a pair of white jeans and a belt !!! Saved $80 - but still spent too much - but paid for most of purchase w/$$$ boss gave me at Christmas - so not that much out of my pocket.. My gf did good too.. Had a lot of fun - but oh my legs were so sore from work out on Wed - I didn't think I had worked out that hard but by the time we left the Outlets my legs were killing me - when I got home took some liquid tyenol - rubbed aspercreme on them and vegged - I was pooped - lunch was Ice cream LOL I just heard on news cold front for most of you - Today - 79° - Tomorrow 77 - Next week 80's Pefect weather for Jodi's visit.. Julie Hugs on your pain Sandy - it's normal to eat out occasionally and indulge ;0) just not 24/7 365 like we use to do - Just like yesterday - I chose to eat Ice Cream for lunch (it's great being a grown up) had a lite dinner.. Lori - Hugs & Prayers for DD Linda - Just getting dressed for that weather ... I would stay home too.. How's Katie Phyl - I guess you won't be using that lady again - I wouldn't nothing pisses me off more than making an appointment and it not being kept Hell you might be retired but doesn't mean you are sitting around doing nothing all day long - your time is valuable too.. Buy the time I got home last night after sundown - didn't call Jodi - but had email from her - hopefully she can sneak a read w/o Dassi seeing.. Andrew cleaned yesterday - so today I need to do my wash and go get some veggies for dinner - Jodi bringing fish.. Phyl brining wine ;0) Apples & Eva must be having a great time ;0) - I bet Apples is really enjoying weather Melissa - good news about meds...

Suggestions #1 log your food - count your calories - you maybe eating more than you think. #2 I too am most hungriest at night - I budget my calories for this.. I did thru my whole weight loss phase and it worked for me - I kept my calories at 800-1200 varied them daily - normally ate 150-200 for bf - same for lunch - dinner 300ish and kept 300 for Snacks at night - which consist of sf puddings - sf fudgecicles - 100 cal snack pack popcorn #3 Exercise - you just have to do it - again during weight loss phase - I exercised 5 - 6 times a week - I exercise 4 x a week today

Good Morning Gang Laura - Sorry about your friends Dad.. Linda - Put that on top of your list (getting Alyah's Dad's) consent legally to let you or DS take care of GD is Katie doesn't change - I had a gf who died and her DD should have went to here Sisters - but the Dad got her - she did know him - but all he did was pawn her off to his sister and collect the SS.. How does your DH feel or handle the situation w/Katie Hope the doc helps your pain Apples - How fun to go to Eva's FNSC - Have fun Not much to report - I'm up at my normal time even though it's my FF - got stuff to do - gotta hit the road at 8... Need to call Jodi - she should be here enjoying our weather - Gotta find a Kosher dessert for Dassi ...

Good Morning Gang... Candice Idol was on Wed & Thurs - you must have missed Wed - Last night was good - that girl was good and pretty... Yep Steven comes across really good - I like the judges ;0) Steph - I can only eat supper soft steak - there are times w/it that I have to chew and spit it out cuz I know if I sallow - it will just block me up.. Ya I have too much to watch too ;0) between my fb games - lbt - tv - there aren't enough hrs - last night I had to delete stuff cuz I know I can't watch it all.. Karla - how are you feeling today... I'm up at my normal time even though I don't have work - almost went back to bed - but was afraid that I would over sleep - gotta pick up Candy at 8:30 so this gives me time to post - play my addictive games and get dressed w/o rushing - I hate rushing.. Phyl - How's Earl any better.... CBL

Well I think I got it fixed - I moved the usb port for the wireless keyboard/mouse from the usb splitter and put it in an actual port in the computer.. Sorry too much to respond too - I'm Hungry and want to go vegge LauraK - WTG on the smoking - I tried the chantix - but I really didn't want to quit smoking - just half ass and as we all know - if you aren't determined nothing is going to work - just like our lapbands - if you don't do the work - then it's not going to work - so I am still smoking.. Apples - glad the stone passed Cheri - agree with you 100% on Idol - I didn't think I would like Steven Tyler at all - but he was good - hell - Last yr Simon seemed so bored just waiting out his contract. Laura - Hugs and love - I read your post earlier - but forgot ;0) oh ya Joseph played baseball - I loved it - I was at all his games.. Charlene - Hugs on Mom Linda - Hugs on Katie - so glad Alyah has you.. Well sorry about the drive by - but I am very very hungry - food today - pt shake w/1/3 banana and PB2 - green salad w/deli turkey yogurt dressing - dinner - fish & veggies - and some popcorn later - tomorrow FF - picking up gf Candy at 8:30 so will go out to bf - eating light today so tomorrow can have some treats... Everyone else - love and hugs - I just am tired busy day today...

Ok - That's what we will do on Thursday - Play - Dinner - Street Fair !!!! OMG you are good - I am not good at playing pple - I know that that's not the right word - manipulating - I just missed that finess gene - Hell they don't shave pple who have babies any more - oh I hate that itch.. Ok - I will get some and wash your towels & sheets in it ;0) I got 2 lite cook books that they had on there - I forgot the name - I think your reason for the binge is cuz you were rebeling at being back on the band wagon ... You were just fighting yourself - On Dr. Oz the other day - Big food triggers for us foodies F- frustration L- lonely A- Angry B - Bored This is why journeling is good - to write down what you are feeling when you turn to food - Google his website and you can watch the show,, Hugs - It's so hard - I'm starving right now - dinner is almost done - but I am not cooking any rice tonite - tomorrow going to town w/gf candy and will save my calories for that ;0) My Ereader has wifi - I can post from their - but it would take too long - I moved the connection for the wireless mouse from the usb splitter to an actual usb port on the computer and it's working ok now I read a Wally Lamb book a long time ago - oprah book club I think - it was something about a fat girl - I didn't care for his writing style - Karla - busy at work cuz tomorrow is my FF and this morning FB games and never got over hear ;0) Steph you are doing so good about Michael and his Dad.. Proud of you - I know it had to be hard.. Well gang - Not much to report - had some errands after work - dinner in the oven - fish and french style green beans - and most likely some popcorn - have had a few tositido while dinner was cooking - had pt shake w/fake peanut butter & 1/2 banana - got stuck on it - Salad for lunch w/turkey - Who watched Idol last night - I didn't think I would like steven tyler - but I really like him- didn't miss simon at all - he seemed so bored with it last year... Well timer going off - cbl

I have been really good at not ordering (well as much LOL) it's cooking day - so what did you order??? I don't use bleach - all my stuff is colored LOL - I use purex wash soap & snuggle or downy softner - what do you use - I will buy some and wash sheets & towels before you get here Who's coming 1st you or Linda - I forget - I think Linda comes in on Sunday and you Monday ??? My back patio has an awning - and the sun isn't that strong - it will be nice weather for you - Average in March 80 - 81 and 52 at night - so hell might not even need a/c with those temps - like I said March is Spring for us... Don't you dare pack towels and sheets l... OMG Phyl - Yep he needs a doctor.... What a butthead.. And ya I would be pisssed about the dog especially since he found the wallett - I think he needs some meds - you know being diabetic affects moods - Hugs for him being a butt head... I think the play would be great - Hope it's like on Thursday - then we could go to the PS Street Fair or whatever it's called - but you might have to share your scooter w/Linda.... Well off to watch Idol and eat dinner ;0)

I haven't read any of the replies - but you need a kick in the butt - 17 lbs in a months time is EXCELLENT... It's been 3.6 yrs since I was banded - I didn't get my 1st fill till like 9 weeks after surgery - and I think I lost like 20 lbs in that time - don't remember for sure - heck some weeks I would only lose 1/2 lbs - but you know what in 11 months 1 week I lost 105 lbs and got to a normal bmi - remember it didn't come on over night - you aren't going to lose it over night...

#1 you can't listen to anyone one here about fills - cuz for each of us it's totally diff - my doc won't tell me how much I have in my band cuz I can have 3 cc's in my band and be too tight and another person can have 5 and still not have restriction - it doesn't mattter the # of cc's in your band all that matters is that you have restriction and if you can't eat or drink without throwing up - That's telling you - that you do have restriction After my 2nd fill I lost 17 in 2 months - I told him I wanted fill cuz I could eat 1 whole enchillada - he said no... You lost the weight - its up to you to make good food choices - I went back a month later begging for one - he gave it to me - within the week I was back and all of that fill but .01 was taken out - I was so freaking tight I could barely drink - I lived that week on sliders - I will never again be that tight.. #2 what would you tell a friend of yours turned to alcohol or drugs during a personal crisis - would you co-sign their use of drugs or alcohol?? I seriously doubt that - so why are you co-signing your reason for eating.. That's your drug of choice... Deal with the issues - we all have them - I lost my baby bro who's 3 yrs younger than me 2 years ago.. Did I turn to food - Nope - would I have in the past - Yes - When both my parents died within 1 month of each other I gained 30 lbs. But I now understand that drowning your sorrow in food isn't the answer - just like if you were drowning them in drugs or alcohol.. We all make excuses as to why we can't do it - but that's all they are is excuses - If you were truly hungry - an apple would satisfy that hunger instead of a bowl of ice cream w/half a jar of choc on it.. Here's a suggestion - write down everything you eat - there are tons of sites on the internet - livestrong - daily plate - hell I kept a little 3 x 3 note book with me - I wrote down everything I ate & the pt grms and the calories - I did this for my till I got to goal (11 months 1 week) Losing weight is simple math - calories in vs calories burned Go back to the basic - eat off small plates/bowls - always eat pt 1st - tiny bites - eat slowly - chew chew chew - no drinking with meals - Losing weight with the band is still work - we have tons and tons of mental issues to deal with - we can't turn to food to mask our feelings of frustration - loneliness, anger & boredom.. When you have these feelings - get up do something to distract yourself - deal w/your emotions don't bury them with food - and when you are tempted to - say to yourself - would I smoke some crack right now so that I don't have to deal with these feelings - I bet the answer is no - equate food to your crack and maybe you will look at it differently - maybe you will see that it's killing you - it might be legal - but it's going to kill you if you don't get control of it.. Hope your doc can give you some help... The majority of our issues w/food are in our head - it takes a lot of work - you gotta look at the reasons that you over ate in the 1st place - you gotta learn new coping skills. It's so do-able - I was 52 when banded - had a life time of being obese - but the light bulb finally went off - I controlled all that junk I was eat - I chose to eat high fat - high sugar and sit on my butt 24/7 - that's why I got fat - It's what I did for me - after I took care of everyone else - Well I turned that around - I love me enough to want to live - I took that control and reverse it - I choose to eat healthy - I choose to go to the gym - I choose to have a life where I am not limited as to what I can or can't do cuz of my weight..' This Grandma now can zipline - scuba dive - parasail - take the stairs - play with her grandkids - the quality of my life has improved 1,000,000 % and girl friend I am no different than you - I have walked in your shoes the majority of my life - You just have to exercise your gray matter to make the changes needed to get healthy and you can do it...