IndioGirl55

Congrats on your band and glad you had no issues - Count your blessing girl on the no gas - that's what got to me on day 2 - but only one bad attack - but it made me cry... Yep this is the beginnging of your new life :0) It takes work but really isn't that that hard - especially once you have had your AH HA Moment :0)

Laura You crack me up - My dogs don't lick their butts but the cat does - Angel and Bear both give me kisses - but we don't french kiss - Sheba is such a diva she only lets you pet her when she wants to be petted - but she did lick my leg this morning :0).. I am not a germy person - follow the 30 second rule (if something falls on the floor) will drink after you - eat off the same fork. I really can't say I am ocd about much of anything :0) Well maybe sugar - but that's my crack :0)

Jackie - I will get stuck/pb sometimes on soft stuff like that too - but it's usually cuz what was in my pouch prior to eating.. Hugs...

CONGRATULATIONS PHYL YOU ROCK CHICKIE !!! :thumbup::thumbup::smile2::thumbup: :frown:

Good Morning Gang Ice Cream was there for when family was here – but they never ate it :0) Apples – I don’t remember what I had for dinner that night- but I am pretty sure it included either white or brown rice – I too have to have my starches – don’t remember if I had popcorn that night – I don’t think so.. See this is why it’s a good thing to journel cuz it’s so easy to forget :0) especially if you are over 50 lol… A girl on my 7 thread said it was most likely the xanax that took away my anixity about eating – don’t know if that’s true or not – but I am not kidding you – I was totally like a drug addict wanting more. I don’t really deprive myself – so I really don’t think that I was deprived – I was just an addict reacting to my drug of choice. Yep and this is why I did post it - I am human !! But the biggest reason is that I wanted pple to know that if you do this (relapse) then you gotta do something about that relapse – EXTRA EXERCISE and get rid of the offending food. As I said there in no recovery without a relapse.. We learn from these experiences – I have learned it’s not the end of the world and I don’t punish myself – I get off my butt and move to burn off those offending calories – that’s how we got fat in the 1st place – ate too much and didn’t exercise – As we all know the band doesn’t chose our foods for us. Relapse is usually caused by a combinations of factors. Some possible factors and warning signs might be: Keeping our trigger foods around the house for any reason Obsessive thinking about eating Failing to follow ones treatment plan – quitting therapy – skipping doctors appointments Feeling overconfident – that you no longer need support Relationship difficulties – ongoing serious conflicts Setting unrealistic goals – perfectionism – being too hard on ourselves Changes in eating and sleeping patterns, personal hygiene, or energy levels Feeling overwhelmed – confused – useless – stressed out Constant boredom – irritability – lack of routine and structure in life Sudden changes in psychiatric symptoms Dwelling on resentments and past hurts – anger – unresolved conflicts Avoidance – refusing to deal with personal issues and other problems of daily living Engaging in obsessive behaviors – workaholism – gambling – sexual excess and acting out Major life changes – loss – grief – trauma – painful emotions – winning the lottery Ignoring relapse warning signs and triggers By becoming familiar with our triggers and warning signs, utilizing the various recovery tools, and having a practical plan of action, we greatly minimize the tendency to lapse back into our addictions. If and when lapses do happen, we do not judge or blame--we are not bad people. We seek progress not perfection. We simply learn what we can from the situation and move on with our program of dual recovery. Sharing our relapse experience with our , groupis an important way to figure out what went wrong. Our experience may also help others in recovery. Oh wait – I thought my pets were human :0) – they think they are too :0)… Well gotta get to work – cbl

Good Morning Gang Well didn't make it to they gym - Angel woke me up at 4 and I was still pooped - so I re-set the alarm to go off at 5:10 I think I may go after work though - The scales were down this a.m. so I am happy - but I got to get them lower - Yes Phyl - we have to be aware - ALL THE TIME !!! Or like I always preach if you can't control it - don't have it in the house - I did good while the kids' where here (expect for the cookies) but you know what I mean - I won't be buying it when then come for turkey day - I will make a dessert everyone likes and that will be it.. (if everyone likes it - it won't be around long - especially Choc Cake - Joseph's fav) Karla - I know about getting the paperwork for a loan - it's a pain in the butt - they want your life history... I said a special pray for you last night and this morning to - cuz you see I pray in the a.m. to - Thanking God for letting me wake up.. Phyl - can't wait for our shopping trip too - they have an Ann Taylor Loft and J Crew - gotta say that when Debbie and I went before those were really the only stores that I liked - but again we never made it to the other side. We will take the scooter just in case - but again - you will be fresh cuz we are going in the a.m.but I think we should take it - since Earl's not going you might want to shop your head off :thumbup: I think the more exercise you do the more it will help that hip and hopefully that's all it is.. Prayers on that too. It'll be a quite day at work 6 ppl are out for their furlough day - well it''' be quite as long as I don't have to take their calls - well only 2 are in my department and I am pretty sure their team partner will have to take their calls. Well, no great plans for the weekend. I really need to go thru my closet and put away my summer stuff (capris & shorts well bermuda or skimmers cuz I don't really wear shorts and summer dressed) Need to wash the stuff that's been folded on top of the closet - dusty you know. Who knows what mood will strike me - Debbie wants to go to the show to see MJ - we will see -

Laura K - I still am learning and I am over 2 yrs out - when you are hungry we tend to eat fast - at time we forget about our bands and it's not till the 3rd or 4th bite then it's utoh... Glad you have good restriction - I too have never been in pain for hours or pb'd for hours either - it usually come up pretty easily maybe 2 or 3 pbs and stuck for maybe 10 or 15 minutes - and I to will get up and walk.. Glad you are doing good on the exercise and diaring - both are key imho Apples - Glad you are doing so well - yes being busy helps.. Eva - you had me lmao - your cat eats lettuce lol - my dogs are spoil dinner is dog food topped w/rotissie chicken - Angel (poodle) got to where she was turning her nose up at the dog food - they get turkey jerky treats and salami when I leave the house - Sheba (cat) was eating wet food but mostly just licking the liquid part out - and I was feeding 4 - 5 times a day when she was nursing - but now she gets dry cat food and some soft salmon cat treats and that's it - but she too will eat the dog food. Melissa - I could be your mom :thumbup:) My son is 38 :smile2:) I will look for something on mental something (imagining or something like that) a girl on my 7 thread is doing it and it's helping her sleep.. I think Latte is getting banded tomorrow - prayers for a safe surgery and speed recovery.. Well gang - I didn't want to do this but I must - HI MY NAME IS JANET AND I AM A FOOD ADDICT !!!!! Last night I needed to get to bed early cuz I was meeting my workout partner at 24 hr fitness (gym that's across the street) AT 5 A.M. we were going to ck it out as we may be changing to this gym Anyway - I took 2 5 mg xanan to help me get to sleep - well I got up and had 1/2 c ice cream - well OMW that started a whold binge - went and had another 1/2 then ate 3 ice cream sandwiches - i didn't care - i wanted the sugar (this is after I hadn't had any since Sunday) - I was totally out of control - I didn't care - I just had to have the sugar. Well, I did get up at 4:20 and met Vicky at the gym and did my 3 miles - ate good today at work - then after work went back to 24 hr fitness (have a 14 day pass) and found this great treadmill - the incline goes to 30 (most only go to 15) and it also has a -3 incline (walking down hill) Well I did 4 miles did varying inclines from 3 to 24 - computer says I burned 600 calories and hiked to an elevation of 1200 ft.. I am going to try and go in the morning again - but so far today I have done 7 miles burned about 900 calories.. So girls - ya we do fall of the wagon (even oldies like me) but when you do the crime you gotta pay the time (extra exercise) and to tell the truth - I do feel bad about what I did - but it's done - I can't take it back - I am an addict and I had a relapse - and truly there can't be recovery without a relapse - it's something to learn from - All the ice cream is out of the house (well ya it's in my gut and the only reason I had it was for when family was here and thought since it was in the outside fridge - it wouldn't be tempted - but stupid me - that fridge is close to my bedroom than the kitchen fridge) But I am very very proud of me for taking the action needed to undo the damage - extra exercise (thrusday & friday & sunday's are my usual days off from the gym) - So I have learned something in these last 2 yrs - Well I know there was more I wanted to comment on - but it's now 8:30 and I need to go eat - I want to get up early tomorrow and hit the gym again before work - I love new toys :0)... Talk to you all tomorrow - Hugs & Love Janet

Kari - Hugs on the teeth - I know that when I had to have a tooth pulled earlier this year it wasn't bad at all - it came right out - it was all the drilling before to take off the bridge.. Karla - I am so glad things are looking a little brighter for you - I know you hate moving - but sound like you have a plan and it might not be as bleak as you thought it would be - GF you are always in my prayer - but I will send some extra ones for you.. Well girls - I went to the gym again tonite - I am using my 24 hr fitness 14 day pass - they have this treadmill I LOVE !! Most treadmills go only up to a 15 incline - I think this one goes up to 30 - I only went up to 24 and it goes down hill too -3 incline too. I did 4 miles - computer says I burned 600 calories and did 1100 elevation I assuming that it's telling me that . So today I have walked 7 miles.... Am going to try and go again in the morning.. I have to undo the damage from my addict behavior last night. I ck'd the outside freeze (where the offending ice cream was) it's all gone ... I ATE IT ALL !! So now since I did the crime - I have to pay the time.. Phyl - hope you have a good time at the street fair tonite - A week from tomorrow we will go get your reward for ONDERLAND - a Coach Purse and Earl can't bitch :thumbup:) I bet he's happy for you. I can tell you how very proud I am of all that you have done - you are a poster child for lap band for ladies in their 60's and who have physical issues that limit their exercise - you lost 100 lbs even with those limitation and now that that knee is fixed - and you can exercise - you are going to be at goal before you know it... Well - seems like no one's around tonite - I am going to go ck my other thread and then fix dinner - it's 7:45

Here's a great site to get healthy recipes !! "Healthified" Chicken Pot Pie - Special Occasions - Eat Better America (click this and it will take you to the site) Just think how doable healthy eating really is even in your weight loss phase Day #1 3 meals @ 300 calories = 900 cal 3 snacks @ 100 cal each = 300 300 + 900 = 1200 cal Day #2 2 meals @ 200 Each and 1 meal @ 300 = 700 3 snacks @ 100 cal each = 300 700 + 300 = 1000 Day #3 BF 150 cal - Lunch 200 - Dinner 300 = 650 2 snacks @ 100 Each = 200 650 + 200 = 850 varie your calories daily - make sure you get 4-5 days of exercise (physical activity) #1 rule REMOVE THE WORD HOPE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY REPLACE IT WITH" I WILL !!!" Healthy Eating + Exercise + Band = Success

Here's a great site to get healthy recipes !! "Healthified" chicken Pot Pie - Special Occasions - Eat Better America Just think how doable healthy eating really is even in your weight loss phase Day #1 3 meals @ 300 calories = 900 cal 3 Snacks @ 100 cal each = 300 300 + 900 = 1200 cal Day #2 2 meals @ 200 Each and 1 meal @ 300 = 700 3 snacks @ 100 cal each = 300 700 + 300 = 1000 Day #3 BF 150 cal - lunch 200 - dinner 300 = 650 2 snacks @ 100 Each = 200 650 + 200 = 850 #1 rule REMOVE THE WORD HOPE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY REPLACE IT WITH" I WILL !!!"

OMG CONGRATULATIONS - OMG CONGRATULATIONS OMG CONGRATULATIONS - OMG CONGRATLUATIONS :party::party::party::party: :frown::hurray::smile2::smile::thumbup: :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: :party::party::party::party::party::party::party::party::party::party::party::party:

Apples - You are someone who I would come to for advice any day !!! With all you have been thru - I think you are quite a woman - "ok so you aren't normal" :0)... Msredd - Welcome What are you eating - are you keeping a food diary - are you exercising - give us a little more info. Laura - WTG on exercise :0) - I know what you mean about your Dad - Just go with the flow and see how it goes - right now he's not thinking as clearly - he just wants you there.. Eva - Thanks - I love her might not like her at times but I do love her and there have been plenty of good times between us - Work - ya if we want to shop - travel - do more than just exisit - we gotta do it and be thankful.. Yes eating out takes a while to get use to - and still does - yesterday went to lunch w/gf for her bday - ate 1/2 taco and an enchillda - but I was the last person done with my food they all inhaled theirs. Well I know I have missed some- but I gotta get to work my boss just got here :0) cbl

Candice - I think you are right - I that's the only place it could have come from - It was a total binge - it was scary.. The only problem is right now I am really pooped - I think I like the sleeping pills better - I don't have this sleepy problem with them - I think I have 2 left - I am going to need something to get me thru today - if I am going to gym tonite - if I don't make it tonite - I will get up and go early in the a.m. tomorrow.. Right now I could take a nap.. WTG on all your Walk Dates :0) !!!!

GGood Mornign Gang Got up 4:20 a.m this morning but I did something very very bad last night - I took 2 5 mg xanax so I could go to sleep early cuz I was going to the gym - well got up and and about 800 cal of ice cream 1.5 cup ice cream and 3 ice sandwiches- i just kept shoveling the sugar in my mouth and didn't freaking care - I mean it was like something just came over me - I think it was the xanax that I didn't care - OMG I AM JUST SO PISSED OFF. I met my workout partner at 24 hr fitness this a.m. to ck it out - have a 7 day pass - I like their cardio but don't know about the weights.. I will be going to the gym after work today- Thursday is usually my day off but after last night I need to go again - I think there is one ice cream sandwich left in the freeze - I am throwing the crap out tonite - Steph - Hugs - Yes I really do love all of you here - you guys mean the world to me.. I feel so blessed to have each and everyone of you in my life - and I know we all have our problems - some worse than others and I just wish I could fix them.. I am so happy though that you and family are getting the counseling - I think that is a very very good thing - let Michael walk out - next time he might stay - and it's showing the pple how he deals with crap.. I know that blended families are hard on everyone - I am not good with confretation - I know it - I am passavie agressive - I should most likely see a shrink myself - but since I don't have to please anyone but me - why :0).. I doubt I will get the swine flu shot - don't qualify really - I will take my chances - I am not that worried about it - I am in pretty good health - physically (mentally is a whole nother subject exspecailly after my sugar bing last night - hell I was 4 days no sugar and bam - I "f" it up) I did sleep good after the xanax and sugar - but am dragging butt - I am on my 4th cup of coffee - I need a diet pill today.. Well I better get my butt to work.. Hugs to all my peeps... Steph share when you feel like it - I love hearing what the shrink has to say about all this stuff - sorta like getting free advice :0)

Ok I forgot about that childsupport issue - now I remember - They (dd's) should still qualify for some kind of medicade.. Isn't that what debit counslers do is take all those payments (band - past medical etc) and consolidate them so that you can make all the payments.

Good Evening Girls I hate this laptop the whole finger mouse issue - and Andrew doesn't know where the mouse for it is... ugh - I let him use it when his computer died - and now I get it back half ass.. I will take my computer in this weekend.. Charlene - Hugs that has to be so hard. Losing your eyesight has to be so hard - I know my GM and Aunt had eye issues at the end and I just couldn't imagine not being able to see. Right now you just have to do the best you can do while under this stress - doesn't sound like you are pigging out on candy and junk and you are thinking about your eating - being aware is better than not.. Hugs Great - Glad GM doesn't have to go on oxgen and your knee is doing so well.. That's great news.. Cheri - Glad GS is doing better - kids are pretty resliant - WTG on your walking Laura Ya I know what you mean on wanting it to get cold - heck I would love 65 - I am so ready to wear my winter clothes - boots etc.. I went to the gym - had arms tonite - gotta say this equipment at the new gym is harder - i worked up a sweat and usually on arm days I don't - going to meet my workout partner at 24 hr fitness in the a.m (5) to ck out that gym So I better go fix my dinner - I need to get to bed early - last night didn't get to sleep til midnite - so if I am going to go exercise - I need to get up 4:20 a.m. talk to you all in the a.m have a good nite - Hugs Janet

Phyl Be sure to give Tracy our love - glad to hear all went well.. Ya I bet it's hard not being there. Yes it's allowable to skip a day like Karla said you have to give your muscles time to heal - but sore is good - you are building muscles - give it time you will find a program you like - I don't use a program = I do manuel quick start and just increase the speed and incline mannually - you should be able to do that on the bike - well you control the speed but you can increase the resitance for a few minute then go back to flat then increase again - back and forth - thats what I do. Candice - Good for you on your walk - who's your new walking buddy?? Yes - I love my Sister - I don't like that we have this between us - She hurt my feelings talking crap about me and my dad.. But this too shall pass - I knew it would eventually - since I talked to my Uncle a couple of weeks ago - it hasn't been on my brain 24/7. I will still be on guard with her and I don't like that - but eventually I guess that will go away too.. Karla Hugs - When did you buy your house - what changed $$$ wise since you purchased it. The way the news talks the banks don't want to have their properties forclosed on - let the stupid person talk to their boss - call them back tomorrow You may find a place to rent w/your animals they have them - just require a bigger deposit and you have small dogs - don't even mention the cat and say you have just 1 dog not 3. I know this has to be the worse thing for you right now and I wish there was something I could say to make things better - since I don't know what to say Can you refinance are you upside down on your house (what you paid for it and what it's worth now) Do you have a fixed or variable interest? Call back the mtg pple - you hear on the news all the time that they are working with pple I hate this laptop the whole finger mouse - i gotta go find the mouse for it.. If you quit paying for you DD health insurance would you be able to afford the house payment. In cali we have healthy families (medical/government insurance) yes they do here's the link Department of Public Health & Human Services - Montana Medicaid looks like up to age 19 - it's worth a try - cuz if I remember right that is costing you a lot of money - since she's 18 your income shouldn't matter.. Dont give up yet - you are moving in the right direction - Wish I could do more than offer a shoulder :

Hey Gang Sorry been mia since yesterday Went to the gym last night for my cardio - did 4 miles - burned 500 cal (if you beleive those machines :drool:) but that was the # I was aiming for - I was tuckered out and sweating like a piggy.. Came home - my sis call - so had to call her back and gotta say it was a decent conversation - the are talking about moving about 40 miles from me - and that she wanted to rebuild our friendship - I say - hell Marilyn we are family - and sometimes they disagree - but we are still family and heck we hadn't been in a fight in years - so we were long over due (but in the past it was her mad at me not the other way around) So maybe our relationship will turn around soon - who knows - she's not well - my bil say she's weighs about 108 and that's thin. She has COPD - He said they were coming down the end of the month - I said they could stay at my house - so we will see how it goes.. Then after this 1 hr phone call - I went to turn on the lap top and the door bell rang - it was my gf debbie bringing me over the stuff that I ordered from her GD - well she didn't leave til after 9.. This morning had to work on estate stuff so never got on to post... Apples - You are a wonderful person - I can't beleive how normal you are with all that you have been thru - I think you should have been a shrink !!! Julie - I guess carmel roles aren't a downfall for you - they sound so good - they would be a problem for me :0) Cheri - My DS bumped his head once on the coffee table he was like 1.5 yrs old - I am not kidding you he had an bump the size of and egg within 5 minutes - Hugs & prays that GS is ok - Kids are tough.. Victoria'Mom - I really feel that you have to take the rules and tweak them to work for you.. Thats what I do - hope you continue to come back and chat with us Melissa - One day at a time - one minute at a time sometimes - Ya - it's hard to find another place to go right now - keep up the exercise and hopefully the meds will help and when you have to have something - just go w/the sf as much as you can and snack back popcorn. Meredith -How was you visit w/your sister. Moving to Cali anytime soon - Our weather is great :0).. Great - How's grandma Charlene - How are you doing?? Laura - WTG on the gym and I hear you about the sugar and getting off it - I gotta say I really haven't had that hard of a time - I went to the gym Monday had a good leg work out and yesterday the treadmill 4 miles inclines 4 to 15.. Like you said - I feel great about acomplishing the exercise and that's my motivation - my drug might have given me a little slip up - but I know I can get it out of my system by sweat equity :0) and I feel good that even though I ate more than I should have - I said stop and put in the extra effort at the gym.. Well need to get back to work - cbl later

Phyl I have been saying prayers since yesterday - since I saw your post on FB Let us know how's she doing.. Hugs - she will be fine :0)

Good Morning I had gym last night did 4 miles burned 500 calories if you beleive the calorie counter on the treadmill :drool:) Came home Andrew said Sister called - so called her back - it was good it was about estate - she wants it over (probate) and I really think they just want their $$ but anyway we had a good conversation - they may be moving this way come May - Morongo Valley for my sis health - it's about 30-40 miles north east from me. So talked to her and bro in law and then started dinner came to turn on the computer (laptop) and Debbie showed up and stayed to 9 so never got on line last night Karla - I would come and hold your hand so just think I am on your shoulder - can't be with you in person but am with you in spirit. Again - you are going to have to face the fact that you are overwhelmed and can't continue down this road. Phyl loved the story - just scanned it - but got the drift - I wanted to post this morning.. Well I gotta call attonery & accountant this a.m. and get this estate closed so maybe me and sis can mend our relationship - I have to let go my hurt feelings - I gotta pratice what I preach - sounds like her health is getting worse - We use to get in fights along time ago - it was cuz she was mad at me about something - this time it's cuz I'm pissed - but like I told her last night - when she said we need to mend our freindship - I told her we are sisters and that's what counted.. So I am feeling a bit better about all this - I know I have to let go and with the estate setttled it may be easier.. Well gotta jump in the shower.. cbl hugs

Hugs for your struggles Victoria's Mom.... #1 You are too tight if you can't eat real food (small bites chew chew chew and eating slowly) without pbing - If you are following these rules and still can't eat real food then go get some taken out.. Here's my suggestion - it's what worked for me and that's keeping a food diary - logging calories and protein - that's all I counted and I did that until I reached my goal weight. Today is a new day - let's move forward - we can't change what happend 5 minutes ago - we can't predict whats going to happen in 5 minutes - the only thing we have control over is the now.. So right now - pull up those boot straps and move forward. Get all the junk out of the house - all your trigger foods - don't buy them and they won't be their to eat.. Sit down plan a menu for a week - shop for just those items and nothing else - read the labels - this is why I think that knowing the caloires in the food we eat is very important - when I look at the calories of a candy bar which has no nutritional value for 230 calories and then think I can have 4 oz of fish and 1/2 c veggies - for the same amount of calories and have gotten my nutrition and will stay full way longer than eating a candy bar.. You aren't alone in your expectations for the band - My Uncle thinks I should be the spokes person for lapband I told him they would never have me - cuz the commercial makes it seem like the band is the magic cure to our food issues and it's not - it doesn't take away my preceived hunger - I will be physically full and still crave more food - they didn't band my brain and that's where the majority of the problem lies. I feel that I have done 75% of the work and the band has done the other 25% - just like my signature says eat healthy - exercise - band = success and just in that order. Today is a new day - make the most of it - crying about the past isn't going to fix today - so get your self together and tell food - NO MORE - I AM SICK OF YOU - I AM IN CONTROL - I WILL NOT LET YOU RUIN MY LIFE ANYMORE. !!!

Yesterday B - 2 hard boiled eggs L - 1.5 cup One Pot Wonder (cubed pork,zuchinne, corn, onion, jalapeno, bell pepper, red chili sauce) D - 4 oz fish baked .25 c brown rice .75 cup cauliflower S - 1/4 c raisin & walnuts 1 hr weight training - legs Back on track after too many mini candy bars this past weekend:eek:..

Awesome Phyl..... :thumbup:

Good Morning.. Eva - sorry about the job issues - My employer quit contributing to our 401 k plan a couple of yrs ago and they froze the little pension plan they started in 06 (think I have 2500 in it) we never had a pension plan before and when they started it - it wasn't going to help me as far as retirement went. But I hear you on the whole benefit package - employees are getting less and less and the corp presidents are taking huge bonuses.. We are concerned what's going to happen to our medical insurance come April - they may not pay for it - that $500 they pay to wards my medical - the loss of the 4% match on 401k - the 2 furlough days the loss of 2.5 vacation days - and they can still lay off more pple - which mean more work for less.. I know we are suppose to be happy we have jobs - but I totally understand how hard it is to be appreciative when they keep taking stuff away from us.. Great - I know you want Norman Rockwell - we all do- but I really don't think there is such a thing I think it's all a fairy tale (look at all of us - from all over the country and WE ALL have family issues)- and like your dh said - if you don't have it by now - you never are - you gotta let it go - you have done your best and that's all you can do. You can't keep hitting your head against a cement wall. When your parents and family passes - you will deal with it - God really does get you thru it.. If they don't want to get together for Christmas - don't force it - why so you can be upset and miserable cuz it didn't turn out the way you wanted - have Christmas with your family dh & kids. Have a Christmas that you will enjoy and not have to be on pins and needles the whole time. You gotta enjoy what you have now - not what you fantasize about I've come to the conclusion - I am going to be me - I am not taking on other pples issues - and if you don't like me - so be it - just cuz we share blood - doesn't mean I have to like you or be around you.. I wish it were diff - but it is what it is and I am not going to put myself out there to be hurt - I am not a doormat that pple can wipe their feet on and expect me to just take it - and imho there really isn't any use in getting into a battle of words - pple don't get it - and then it just turns out being a tit for tat battle to prove who's right and no one wins.. Apples - I was thinking the same thing about your Mom - that she went quickly - didn't have the slow terrible death of cancer or being incapacitated - Death isn't about them - it's about us.. They are in a better place and it's us who are left to miss them.. I know you are pull yourself up my the boot straps and go on kind of girl - I know you will get thru this - but know we are here to hear those great memories of her when you feel like sharing about her.. How long has she been your "Mom" Laura - Just throw it out NOW... Go to the Gym Now.. That's my plan - I didn't take the computer this morning cuz if I took it after work - then I wouldn't go to the gym and I have to go to the gym - I am up 1 lbs from the bad eating this weekend.. Laura K - LOVE YOUR SAYING !!!! I have printed and put on my desk :0) Julie- hope all is ok w/you - when do you go back to the doc - when's the family meeting Charlene - how are you doing?? Meredith - I think you are coming home today.. Hope you had a good time w/sis Melissa - how's your stress and getting back on track going... cbl

Good Morning Gang... Jackie - Glad you are felling better.. I am a food addict period too - I love my sweets at times - wish I didn't but I don't do them often either - I like to eat - last night had my fish rice veggies -and was full - so there went the theroy that I need a fill - everytime I think about getting one - then I get tight - When I woke up during the night raisins & walnuts - handfull - (karri says it's 1/4 cup) got stuckist.. I got on the scale this am up 1 pound - not good - but I will get it off - I didn't take the computer w/me this morning don't want to rush at lunch and if I do after work I won't go to the gym so I am going to the gym and I will use the laptop till I can get it fixed - paid bills yesterday from work as I had printed my spreadsheet - so I am cool there.. Thankfully I backed up my pic's on a click disk so I have that - that's the most important thing on the computer that can't be replaced.. Karla - Hugs - those medical bills are a debit just the same as a cc - so it might be something to look into - but I will drop it as you ask - Know that we are just trying to help you find a solution to your problems. You have been under alot of stress lately that makes your body hold on to the weight - Hows your Dad doing?? Phyl - OMG YOU LOOK FANTASTIC !!! You need to take that current pic and put is side by side to your pre-surgery pic.. A whole nother person !!! I am so looking forward to 11/13 can't wait !!!! At least we are having good weather for you - you will be tanner than me - but I have quit using my self tanners - cuz it had cooled off - wasn't wearing carpis but now it's heated up - but still haven't done it.. Steph - I saw on FB that you went to see Michael yesterday - how did that go?? How are you doing? Did you guys have face to face counsleing On the PS doc's the one in Costa Rica is USA trained supposeitly - I will ck that one you posted on phyll - If we go I would ck w/wasabubble butt - she's knows how to ck out mex doc and I think she has a link here to ck them out. Candice - How are you doing this morning - Do you think that maybe for Xmas you might get Peter an new pup ?? Yesterday was my Uncle's bday someone gave him 2 kittens - he's never had cats before - but they will be company for him - it's a family trait to be single in our old age - he's like me doesn't want a wife/gf.. I think he's going to get a kick out of these cats. Denise - I am going to hunt you down on FB - How are things going for you - how's the situation with DS and Mom.. Well, CBL xoxox Janet